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I'm 13 and there's a guy that I really like and I know that he really likes me to, and I want to know if its even legal for me and him to date since he's 16, I'm allot more mature then most girls my age and I actually think logically, but if its illegal then that won't even matter right?
The only time it matters is if sex is involved. Personally 13 is way too young to be thinking about dating. Wait a couple more years and enjoy your youth.
I agree with 450donn, you may be really mature for your age but you are way too young and if the guy is 16 and interested in you, then it is most likely about the sex. Or he is desperate. I am not saying that you are amazing and worth it, but Most 16 year olds don't look for that young of a person unless they want something and in that case you will get in trouble. Try to find a guys to just hang out with and be friends for now. You'll be surprised how much happier you will be not getting into that relationships so early in your life. You have so much time to be an adult.
The thing is, is that my last boyfriends were all like 17 to 20, which I know is definitely illeagal, and they all pretty much took advantage of me, but the 16 year old is a sweetheart and we were going out for a while but we both thought it was illeagal so we broke up and yeah he says he's willing to wait but I know that things change in time...
Ask your parents if they are OK with it.
If you are more mature than most 13 year olds, then sex is absolutely the biggest problem. Early maturization is the source of so many of these sad stories of young love ending up in tragedy and jail, and it's completely avoidable.
You can be proud of your early maturity, but you are a target as a result. You just are. As sweet as it feels having 16 years "like" you, it's not natural and most assuredly physical attraction to you is a big part of it.
At 13 you may feel mature, but you're not. You're inexperienced and very innocent. That means you will easily be manipulated by your own feelings and the kind attentions of boys. You are YEARS away from being able to fully control your own impulses (they're natural, right?), much less those of big strong boys.
So, my recommendation is you feel good about the attraction, but practice your first adult concept - self-denial. Put off dating 16 year olds until your 16.
You keep a LOT of unnecessary and potentially dangerous (you won't think it's dangerous, you'll have to trust us) situations from hurting you by always, always, ALWAYS including your parents in your decision-making on this stuff. They are 100% accountable for everything you do until you leave home, so their love for you, their experience and their responsibility puts them in a unique position to help you the most accurately.
And no one knows you as well as them. They may surprise you... not by letting you do dangerous things like dating a 16 year old when you're 13, but in other ways with the way they guide you and the way the openly help with understanding them.
Good luck, dear. It's tough feeling like a grownup surrounded by children. But that is no reason to engage in risky experiments.
This tells me you are not as mature as you think you are. That you would date boys that age at 12 and 13 is not a mature decision. And you were taken advantage of and went back and did it again!Quote:
Originally Posted by ChezzyBear
There are no laws governing dating. What's illegal is having sex with someone under the age of consent (and you are under the age of consent in most places). But just dating is not illegal.
<crickets>Quote:
Originally Posted by codelle1
<crickets>
I am TRYING not burst into laughter, here, people... and I am failing.
(side note - sometimes 17 is too young, too...)
Basically at 13 there is no such thing as mature, you may be better than other 13 but you are not mature enough to be dating period, and past mistakes should be obvoiius, I am sure you believed the others sweathearts at some point.
Maturity is mostly built on experience and realization.
You are probably more mature than the girls at your age, hun. However, there are things that you haven't been through yet because of your age.
At your age, you love easily! You probably have a crush on him, it will die soon, trust me!
And also, even if you are mature, how about that boy? It takes two people to build a relationship, are you sure he is ready?
Oh boy, you are 17 so you know it all now. Give me a break! Did you read what Chezzy wrote. That she has ALREADY been taken advantage because she dated older guys!! So she already wasn't smart and did things she wasn't comfortable with.Quote:
Originally Posted by codelle1
No one is dictating who someone is as an individual. But there are certain facts about the maturation process that people with REAL experience are aware of.
No we don't expect young girls to remain naïve little virgins, but it would be nice if they did remain virgins at least until they became adults. I don't think that's too much to ask. As I've said many times, NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse until they are prepared to have a child.
I do agree with you that 13 is not too young to START dating, but it should be in groups, not one on one. But it seems clear that Chezzy started before 13. And there is a certain value in letting children have a childhood. Dating involves a level of social interaction that many children are not ready for at 13.
But I learnt from my mistakes and me and him already broke up, we're both trying to move on cause he's now dating a girl his age and I'm dating a girl my age.. even though me and him still tell each other that we love each other...
And I've been dating for a long time, I'm not "starting" anything
You're either:Quote:
Originally Posted by ChezzyBear
a) a troll
Or
b) an orphan
What's that supposed to mean..Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedKarma
You are 13!! How long is a "long time"??
A long time for me
About 3-4 years
So you've been dating since you were 10? Again, I have to ask where your parents have been all this time. You either have parents who don't care enough about you to supervise you properly or you are fibbing.
That's what NeedKarma meant.
All I can say is,, "You Love Each Other".. I am sorry to say that both od you are way too young to even understand love.
My mom is a crack whore who I haven't seen since I was 4 and my dad works too much to care
And I'm not to young so don't say that.. thers no such thing as to young
Plus, I've been through a lot more than any normal 20 year old
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChezzyBear
I don't think you have a clue what a normal 20 yr old has gone through. But I do believe you have gone through a lot. I feel sorry for you that you don't have parents who care for you and who are robbing you of your childhood. Your involvement with boys at your young age is an obvious cry for the affection you aren't getting at home.Quote:
Originally Posted by ChezzyBear
There certainly IS such a thing as too young. There is a reason why there is an age of majority. Children need to be given time to mature and learn how to deal with the realities of life. You obviously were robbed of that time and have grown up too soon. But I still think you have more growing up to do.
I would recommend talking with a school counselor to get a better idea of how a normal 13 yr old acts and how to deal with your dysfunctional family situation.
Whatever
Me and him are over..
I have a girlfriend now who I love more than words can say
I think the Troll avatar is appropriate here.
I disagree with the person who said that 13 is to young to be thinking about dating, now days it's pretty much natural to see kids that young together and stuff.
I'm 16 but I know that even when I was 13 I thought about that kind of stuff as well.
If you like each other then go for it :)
But I wouldn't get wrapped up in it too much, and a word of advice, don't move to fast.
:)
Sorry you have no one to guide you to doing the right thing. What's sadder is you won't know how sad it is until your older.Quote:
plus, I've been through a lot more than any normal 20 year old
Anyone notice how only new members are agreeing with her? Think maybe she is answering herself?
Nope, way different IPs.Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyLeah
This is typical, Kids find this place, see questions like this and want to stick it the adults who are giving advice that's logical, reasonable and from experience. So they give this advice from emotion and inexperience.
Age doesn't matter if yous both like each other it shouldn't but 13 is kind of young to be thinking about dating.
Nothing is the matter you should be able to date him , as long as u lk him & he lks you go for itQuote:
Originally Posted by ChezzyBear
Some more kids who really want to believe that age doesn't matter with minors. Who will probably wake up when they get older and understand the facts of life.
True!
Especially love, it is more complicated than anything else in the world. Be cautious! Don't fall with the wrong person at the wrong time!
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