Ask Me Help Desk - Datng or faking?

Datng or faking?

Hi, please advice me as I completely got lost
... I am friends with a guy I really like. He says he feels same way towards me and we have really good time together just by talking about everything and time passes very quickly. We are friends one month only. The one thing is that I don't understand: he never takes me out or buys me flowers. Every time he comes over to my place, I make dinner for him and then we sit talking, have some cuddling. Time passes quickly and then he leaves.We do not go to caffees or pubs as he does not ask me. And I just wander whether he is serious towards me.He said he now is in difficult situation regarding finances and I think £3 for the buch of flowers is not much...
What do you think? Thank you for your answers!

Klai

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klaipeda

Hi, please advice me as I completely got lost
...I am friends with a guy I really like. He says he feels same way towards me and we have really good time together just by talking about everything and time passes very quickly. we are friends one month only. The one thing is that I don't understand: he never takes me out or buys me flowers. Everytime he comes over to my place, I make dinner for him and then we sit talking, have some cuddling. Time passes quickly and then he leaves.We do not go to caffees or pubs as he does not ask me. And I just wander whether he is serious towards me.He said he now is in difficult situation regarding finances and I think £3 for the buch of flowers is not much...
What do you think? Thank you for your answers!

Klai

I think I would find out if he is married or not. Job?

Depressed,

He says he earns very little and is separated..

Klai

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klaipeda

Depressed,

He says he earns very little and is separated..

Klai

Ok-have you been to HIS place yet? I know he comes over to you, but do you go over to him?

Hi Depressed,
Thank you for your ansvers, I verry appreciate!
Yes I was at his place and he is very keen for me to visit him again, but I don't want too often to be at his place. He made dinner and introduced me to his brother and his flatmate. We had a nice evening and I stayed overnight.. In the morning he missed his work because of me and spent the whole day with me waiting for me to finnish my job. He is very kind and smart and gentle to me and that's the reason I would like to understand if he is so nice why he can't buy me simple flower or take me out for a dinner?.

It might just not be in his nature to do those things. Or maybe his finances are really tight. Either way, it's nothing personal so don't let it bother you.

Thanks guys, I feel releaved!

Hmmm, keeping you "behind closed doors" so to speak , sounds like a cheater to me. You'd better get to the bottom of this quick or you may be in for a bad heartbreak. Check him out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MOWERMAN2468

hmmm, keeping you "behind closed doors" so to speak , sounds like a cheater to me. you'd better get to the bottom of this quick or you may be in for a bad heartbreak. check him out.

Hi, what do you mean?
Klai

Not invited to the birthday

Hi there ,

I would appreciate your advice as I don't know how to understand this situation. We are friends with this guy for two moths only and now is his birthday, I was expecting for him to invite me to his house and was about to buy a present, but I was surprised when I called to congratulate him and he said that he will be going out to the pub for a drink with his mates to celebrate his birthday and did not invited me.
Thank you. Klai

May I ask why were you expecting this?

Simply because of the friendship between us.

Depends on the type of friendship between you guys. You need too give more detail here. How often do use see each other, what is the friendship like etc.

We see each other at least once per week. He doesn't want marriage nor kids in the future that is fine with me but he is serious about our relationship though very laid back: he never asks me out, buys presents or flowers, as his idea is that women only wants money and having said that he behaves like a cheepskate towards me sometimes..

What's the age of both you guys? It sounds like you want more then a friednship with him... is this true? Sorry if I have jumped the gun here.

I am sorry to point this out but it does not sound like you have a relationship with this person. You only have known this person for a little while.

Luk3Y,

Yes it seems that I am more serious about our relationship, than he is.He is 32 an I am 38, is that big age difference for him to be seriously involved in the relationship with me? He says he is fine about that, but now I just don't know..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I am sorry to point this out but it does not sound like you have a relationship with this person. You only have known this person for a little while.

So what is it then? He comes to my flat I go to his, we sleep together sometimes, and nothing more.

Well to me, and from what you have written. Pretty much. I know this may sound disappointing but if you are already sleeping with somebody you hardly know then you are expecting way too much.

2 months
Sometimes sleep together
There seems to be not much there, oh and about the age. Not much of an age different if your both in your 30's but to be honest it sounds like you have fallen for somebody that does not feel the same.

I could be wrong but you have not said anything different to change my thoughts on it. Does that mean I am absolutely right, no. Just my opinion and thoughts on how you described it too me.

Again I will repeat, does not sound like you have any kind of relationship with this person.

Nothing more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Well to me, and from what you have written. Pretty much. I know this may sound disappointing but if you are already sleeping with somebody you hardly know then you are expecting way too much.

2 months
sometimes sleep together
there seems to be not much there, oh and about the age. Not much of an age different if your both in your 30's but to be honest it sounds like you have fallen for somebody that does not feel the same.

I could be wrong but you have not said anything different to change my thoughts on it. Does that mean I am absolutely right, no. Just my opinion and thoughts on how you described it too me.

Again I will repeat, does not sound like you have any kind of relationship with this person.

Nothing more.

Thank you for your explanation,

Just keen to know if I could go back, and like start from the beginning, keeping myself out of the intimacy with him,not sleeping at each others places till I see any difference in his attitude, behaviour or emotions towards me?

Do you really need to be slapped in the head to know he does as he pleases, without regard for you, or how you feel? Stop having sex, and he is out. Good riddance I say, and you will be free to find a real person to share happiness with. Not invited to his birthday celebration?? Rather obvious, that he doesn't care. You're his friend with benefits.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Do you really need to be slapped in the head to know he does as he pleases, without regard for you, or how you feel?? Stop having sex, and he is out. Good riddance I say, and you will be free to find a real person to share happiness with. Not invited to his birthday celebration??? Rather obvious, that he doesn't care. Your his friend with benefits.

Talaniman,

I wanted to break up with him already, at the very beginning but he did not want to and was calling me , sending sms asking what's up, what was wrong? I saw that he was a cheepskate and doesn't care about me from the beginning.But I satyed and suggested we meet only for sex,( hoping he will not like that)but as we slept together I notticed that he is slightly changing-becoming more caring.He was let down by his ex wife of 14 years and told me about her and how difficult it was for him when she left him, and now he cannot easily trust any woman now.He helped me when I had some problems with some documents, as he works in the law.
But I think you are right, even though he had bad life experience, I cannot let myself to be neglected. I just really like this guy as I couldn't see any badness in him apart from that he doesn't feel the same way I do.

Sex partner

I have a sex partner and we've been seeing each other for nearly 3 months now. We had sex after two weeks after we first met. We have sex each time we meet-once per week. He is divorced and me too.
This is the sexual relationship between us, but can he fell in love with me? He acts wery atentivelly towards me-fixes things in my flat, cooks food, started to take me out ( earlier he didn't), introduced me to his friend, and we are good friends with his brother now too...
A bit confusing to me, he says he is not serious, though..

Thank you, any advice will do!:confused:

Well talk to him about it. Obviously it's killing you.. you do not want to feel used by him. Who would? I would lay off the sex for a while and learn to connect with him on a different level.

Hope that helped a little.

Quote:

Originally Posted by brookeleigh

Well talk to him about it. Obviously it's killing you..you do not want to feel used by him. Who would? I would lay off the sex for a while and learn to connect with him on a different level.

Hope that helped a little.

Thank you, u helped me a lot!!

I call him too meet

Hi,
We known each other for 4 months only but had slept together already many times.. I constantly call my friend (guy) and ask him for us to meet. ( He calls me just to chat or sends sms).He rarely ask me out. But when I ask him he never hesitates and agrees even sometimes when it is difficult for him due to work. I feel uneasy for initiating meeting ( but if I ask to meet, I let him to choose the time and place). A few times I asked him why he doesn't initiates the meetings , he says, he is fine if I do that. Should in the long run he just will get tired of my constant asking and leave me and should I stop doing that?

( He is depressed because of his divorce and because of the huge workload and I think that is the reason why he is not very reluctant to ask me out or call me more often than before( or should I think there are other reasons).OR SHOULD I THINK THAT OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SIMPLY FADING?

Thank you. Klai

The guy has a lot on his mind, and with the divorce, he probably is tired of spending too much time with women altogether. So,, I think he agrees to meet you just for the sex and that it is not good for you to catch him on the rebound..

Give him time, wait until he contacts you once he has a clearer head. If he is serious about you he will, but it might take more time than you are willing to wait for.

Until then, just continue living your life, be safe, and don't worry too much.

He is going through a rough phase in his life right now, don't apply pressure where he cannot think and get his life in order.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Chery

The guy has a lot on his mind, and with the divorce, he probably is tired of spending too much time with women altogether. So,,, I think he agrees to meet you just for the sex and that it is not good for you to catch him on the rebound..

Give him time, wait until he contacts you once he has a clearer head. If he is serious about you he will, but it might take more time than you are willing to wait for.

Until then, just continue living your life, be safe, and don't worry too much.

He is going through a rough phase in his life right now, don't apply pressure where he cannot think and get his life in order.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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Thank you Cherry,
He really got lots on his mind at the time and I use your suggestions to wait.

Good girl. Sometimes you just have to wear his shoes for a while and you'll figure it out.

Good luck.

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