I recently have been talking to a girl I work with a lot she's 16 (will b 17 in a few months) I just turned 22. Im friends with every one I work with and just started that way with her till she broke up with her b/f and he went crazy saying he was going to kill her and stuff and harassing her so I steped in and defended her keeping him away from our work and staying there late at night making sure he didn't follow her home or anything. Well along with all this I kind of started liking her and everything and got really close through all these tough times. Is this too much of an age difference at this time or should I stay with her. Do this make me look like I'm just wanting sex dating someone that much younger? Cause that's what I hear but its not the case I'm still a virgin and waiting till I get married for that what should I do give me your opinions .

To me, age is only a number. If you like her I say go for it.

I am comfortable with the fact that she is 16 and you are 22 because you say you have no intentions on having sex with her, unless you marry her of course.

Just because you like someone does not mean you are looking for sex, and it won't look bad unless you put those kind of moves on her.

Like I said, if you like her, go for it, but be prepared. Her parents may have an issue with her dating someone so much older. And also, if you DO have sex with her, its illegal and comes with consequences if someone decides to tell on you (like her parents).

Well I personally don't agree with you nauticalstar... she is only 16 probably in the 11th grade... I don't agree... I think you are way to old... I fell age is nothing but a number when y9ou hit 18 which is legal not 16... sorry that's my opinion

It may seem that way to people because they may not know your intentions and plus she is still a minor so maybe you guys should just be friends for a while till she is 18 and then let friendship develop into a relationship

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

well i personally dont agree with you nauticalstar...she is only 16 prolly in the 11th grade... i dont agree... i think you are way to old.... i fell age is nothing but a number when y9ou hit 18 which is legal not 16.... sorry thats my opinion

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I dated an 18 year old when I was 14. I was very mature, more than the other kids my age. When you are mature enough to handle a real relationship, age does not matter.

Ask yourself what you want to become of this relationship. At her age she is almost ready to go away to college, people change a lot and it's a huge growing process. I'm not one to say that you shouldn't go for it. Age is just a number... my wife is 34 and I just turned 27. But I would seriously think about this, weighing the good and bad out

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Originally Posted by nauticalstar420

I dated an 18 year old when I was 14. I was very mature, more than the other kids my age. When you are mature enough to handle a real relationship, age does not matter.

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Exactly.

Conversely, there are plenty of girls who are well into their 20s and have no goddamn clue how to be in a real relationship.

Age really is just a number; the person's maturity is what really matters.

That said, you should know (and probably already know) that you are going to get A LOT of flak from virtually everyone you know if you start a relationship with this girl (I'm assuming you're in the U.S.; other cultures aren't nearly this judgmental in this regard and even consider 16-year-old girls full adults). Her parents are going to be especially against this, even if you can prove, incontrovertibly, that you are not just looking for sex... which I really don't know how you can do.

Whatever you decide (and do so carefully), good luck!

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Originally Posted by nauticalstar420

I dated an 18 year old when I was 14. I was very mature, more than the other kids my age. When you are mature enough to handle a real relationship, age does not matter.

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Ok you were 14 dating a 18 year old?? How i don't want to be rude or anyting but really how does tha sound?? Why is an 18 year old looking for a 14 year old anywayz?? I don't think kmaturity has anything to do wsith it... at 14 you should be play9ing house or barbies not running around with an 18 year old... he is done with school or about to be done with school and your still in the what eight grade?? Not only that he is legal your not... not don't get me wrong... i feel age is nothing but a number but really where do we draw the line? Im 21 myboyfriend is 29 but we are extremely legal... i was 18/ and he was 27 when he met... i think that is fine... im out of school hes out of school... but 14 and 18?? 16 and 22?? Now if their wasn't a big deal about the ages then why is it if your 18 or 22 and you have sex with a 14 or 16 year old you can go to jail for rape?? Not saying his intentions is sleeping with her but hmm... now really... maybe you don't see anything wrong with it but i clearly do and i personally think the 14 and 18 year old thing is truly disgusting... that's my opinion... but you know what's right... so go for it...

Exactly.

Conversely, there are plenty of girls who are well into their 20s and have no goddamn clue how to be in a real relationship.

Age really is just a number; the person's maturity is what really matters.

That said, you should know (and probably already know) that you are going to get A LOT of flak from virtually everyone you know if you start a relationship with this girl (I'm assuming you're in the U.S.; other cultures aren't nearly this judgmental in this regard and even consider 16-year-old girls full adults). Her parents are going to be especially against this, even if you can prove, incontrovertibly, that you are not just looking for sex... which I really don't know how you can do.

Whatever you decide (and do so carefully), good luck!


WHEN YOUR 14 YOU Shouldn't EVEN BE TTHINKING ABOUT BOYS... MATURE OR NOT... HOW AREYOU MATURE AT 14?? YOUR NOT... BUT THEN THE GUY AT 18 Isn't MATURE EITHER... SO WHEN YOU SAY MATURE MAYBE YOU MEAN YOU WERE MORE MATURE THEN HIM... AND WHY STRESS YOURSELF AT 14 ABOUT A "REAL RELATIONSHIP" YOUR JUST LEARNING HOW TO SPELL RELATIONSHIP... WOW... I DONTKNOW... I JUST DISAGREE...

Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
I dated an 18 year old when I was 14. I was very mature, more than the other kids my age. When you are mature enough to handle a real relationship, age does not matter.



AGE DOES NOT MATTER?? WHAT IF IT WAS YOUR CHILD?? YOUR GOING TO TELL YOUR 14 YEAR OLD LIKE OH That's OK THAT HES 18 AND Out of SCHOOL AND YOUR FOURTEENAND YOU STILL HAVE A BEDTIME?? Don't THINK SO... NOT MY CHILD...

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

OK YOU WERE 14 DATING A 18 YEAR OLD??? HOW I DONT WANT TO BE RUDE OR ANYTING BUT REALLY HOW DOES THA SOUND??? WHY IS AN 18 YEAR OLD LOOKING FOR A 14 YEAR OLD ANYWAYZ??? I DONT THINK KMATURITY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WSITH IT... AT 14 YOU SHOULD BE PLAY9ING HOUSE OR BARBIES NOT RUNNING AROUND WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD... HE IS DONE WITH SCHOOL OR ABOUT TO BE DONE WITH SCHOOL AND YOUR STILL IN THE WHAT EIGHT GRADE??? NOT ONLY THAT HE IS LEGAL YOUR NOT... NOT DONT GET ME WRONG... I FEEL AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER BUT REALLY WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE?? IM 21 MYBOYFRIEND IS 29 BUT WE ARE EXTREMELY LEGAL... I WAS 18/ AND HE WAS 27 WHEN HE MET... I THINK THAT IS FINE... IM OUTTA SCHOOL HES OUTTA SCHOOL... BUT 14 AND 18??? 16 AND 22??? NOW IF THEIR WASNT A BIG DEAL ABOUT THE AGES THEN WHY IS IT IF YOUR 18 OR 22 AND YOU HAVE SEX WITH A 14 OR 16 YEAR OLD YOU CAN GO TO JAIL FOR RAPE??? NOT SAYING HIS INTENTIONS IS SLEEPING WITH HER BUT HMM... NOW REALLY... MAYBE YALL DONT SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT BUT I CLEARLY DO AND I PERSONALLY THINK THE 14 AND 18 YEAR OLD THING IS TRULY DISGUSTING... THATS MY OPINION... BUT YOU KNOW WHATS RIGHT... SO GO FOR IT...

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First off, you don't need to be coming at me like that. Second of all, maturity has a lot to do with it. He was as mature as his age, 18, and I was also as mature as an 18 year old, even when I was 14. And by the way, he was a senior, I was a freshman, not in eighth grade thank you. I was a year ahead of everyone my age. You may think that me being with an 18 year old when I was 14 is disgusting, but think about the fact that your boyfriend or whatever is 9 years older. When he was 18, you were 9, that is disgusting too, even though you weren't dating at the time. If you care about age THAT much, you are ignorant.

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

AND WHY STRESS YOURSELF AT 14 ABOUT A "REAL RELATIONSHIP" YOUR JUST LEARNING HOW TO SPELL RELATIONSHIP

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Hahahaha... :D

Well, I would admit that 90% of girls under 16 are immature. But kids these days are growing up a lot faster.

Plus, there are a lot of societies that consider kids as young as 15 to be full-blown adults. In Mexico, girls are considered women at 16 and, since a lot of them are put in positions where they have to take on several of their mothers' responsibilities, really do mature a lot faster than American women. At least, that's been my experience...

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

AGE DOES NOT MATTER??? WHAT IF IT WAS YOUR CHILD??? YOUR GOING TO TELL YOUR 14 YEAR OLD LIKE OH THATS OK THAT HES 18 AND OUTTA SCHOOL AND YOUR FOURTEENAND YOU STILL HAVE A BEDTIME??? DONT THINK SO..... NOT MY CHILD...

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I would tell my child to go for whatever they thought they could handle. No, age does not matter. And like I said, he wasn't out of school. And by the way, I never had a bedtime, or a curfew. I could handle myself and take care of myself and my mother could see that, therefore she didn't need to set these boundaries for me.

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

WHEN YOUR 14 YOU SHOULDNT EVEN BE TTHINKING ABOUT BOYS... MATURE OR NOT... HOW AREYOU MATURE AT 14??? YOUR NOT... BUT THEN THE GUY AT 18 ISNT MATURE EITHER... SO WHEN YOU SAY MATURE MAYBE YOU MEAN YOU WERE MORE MATURE THEN HIM... AND WHY STRESS YOURSELF AT 14 ABOUT A "REAL RELATIONSHIP" YOUR JUST LEARNING HOW TO SPELL RELATIONSHIP.... WOW.... I DONTKNOW... I JUST DISAGREE...

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Don't tell me I wasn't mature at 14, you don't even know me. You can disagree all you want, everyone has their own opinion.

Well Shaunta Look At It This Way 14 - 18 Only 4 Years Apart Right!
And 18 - 22 Another 4 Years!
You And Your Boy Friend Are What 9 Years Apart I Don't Think You Can Say Much About The Age Difference Here Do You!!

You Know What? I Have A Better Idea..

He Should Go And Ask His Local Law Enforcement Officials And See If They Agree...

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

You Know What?? I Have A Better Idea..

He Should Go And Ask His Local Law Enforcement Officials And See If They Agree....

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Law enforcement would only be applied if they were having sex, which he CLEARLY said he did not intend to have sex with ANYONE until he was married.

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Originally Posted by sarah1989

Well Shaunta Look At It This Way 14 - 18 Only 4 Years Apart Right!!
And 18 - 22 Another 4 Years!!
You And Your Boy Friend Are What 9 Years Apart I Dont Think You Can Say Much About The Age Difference Here Do You!!!

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Actually i could say something... when i met my boyfriend i was 18... which means i was out of school... i did not have a bedtime... so you can't comare me to them... we are totally legal.. if we have sex he wouldn't go to jail for rape...

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

ACTUALLY I COULD SAY SOMETHING... WHEN I MET MY BOYFRIEND I WAS 18... WHICH MEANS I WAS OUTTA SCHOOL... I DID NOT HAVE A BEDTIME... SO YOU can't COMARE ME TO THEM.... WE ARE TOTALLY LEGAL.. IF WE HAVE SEX HE WOULDNT GO TO JAIL FOR RAPE....

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Why are you automatically assuming everyone is going to have sex? He said he wasn't going to have sex, for the third time.

It still doesn't matter it's a 9 year difference. The others are only 4 years!

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Originally Posted by nauticalstar420

I would tell my child to go for whatever they thought they could handle. No, age does not matter. And like I said, he wasnt out of school. And by the way, I never had a bedtime, or a curfew. I could handle myself and take care of myself and my mother could see that, therefore she didnt need to set these boundaries for me.

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Well that fine i didn't say you weren't mature... your right i don't know you... i know plenty of 14 year olds and they are far from mature... and you right he did state that he wasn't going to have sex with her which is fine.. i simply said i disagree we are entitled to our own opinion... after i posted that answer i was going to leave it at the because he did ask for our opinion.. so i gave him mine but when you posted the whole 14 and 18 year old thing that threw me off.. ok good you didn't have a bedtime or a curfew you were one of the few 14 year olds that didn't... but that's his choice he can do what he wants to do... i just disagree...

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

WELL THAT FINE I DIDNT SAY YOU WERENT MATURE... YOUR RIGHT I DONT KNOW YOU... I KNOW PLENTY OF 14 YEAR OLDS AND THEY ARE FAR FROM MATURE... AND YOU RIGHT HE DID STATE THAT HE WASNT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH HER WHICH IS FINE.. I SIMPLY SAID I DISAGREE WE ARE ENTITLED TO OUR OWN OPINION... AFTER I POSTED THAT ANSWER I WAS GOING TO LEAVE IT AT THE CUZ HE DID ASK FOR OUR OPINION.. SO I GAVE HIM MINE BUT WHEN YOU POSTED THE WHOLE 14 AND 18 YEAR OLD THING THAT THREW ME OFF.. OK GOOD YOU DIDNT HAVE A BEDTIME OR A CURFEW YOU WERE ONE OF THE FEW 14 YEAR OLDS THAT DIDNT... BUT THATS HIS CHOICE HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS TO DO.... I JUST DISAGREE.....

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That's fine, you can disagree. I disagree with you. Its called being entitled to your own opinion.

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Originally Posted by huno

Hahahaha... :D

Well, I would admit that 90% of girls under 16 are immature. But kids these days are growing up a lot faster.

Plus, there are a lot of societies that consider kids as young as 15 to be full-blown adults. In Mexico, girls are considered women at 16 and, since a lot of them are put in positions where they have to take on several of their mothers' responsibilities, really do mature a lot faster than American women. At least, that's been my experience...

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WELL WE Aren't IN MEXICO ARE WE?? MATURE AT 14... Don't GET ME WRONG MAYBE 5% ARE MATURE AT 14 BUT THE OTHER 95% Aren't...

Lets just all agree to disagree and move on...

First off, you don't need to be coming at me like that. Second of all, maturity has a lot to do with it. He was as mature as his age, 18, and I was also as mature as an 18 year old, even when I was 14. And by the way, he was a senior, I was a freshman, not in eighth grade thank you. I was a year ahead of everyone my age. You may think that me being with an 18 year old when I was 14 is disgusting, but think about the fact that your boyfriend or whatever is 9 years older. When he was 18, you were 9, that is disgusting too, even though you weren't dating at the time. If you care about age THAT much, you are ignorant.



WE Weren't DATING WHEN I WASD 9 AND HE WAS 18... IM AM AND WAS LEGAL WHEN WE STARTED DATING... What's IGNORANT (THATS NOT EVEN IGNORANT ITS DISGUSTING) IS A 18 YEAR OLD TRYING TO DATE A 14 YEAR OLD...


BUT AGAIN WE ARE ENTITLED TO OUR OWN OPINION./... I PUT MINE OUT THERE IF YOU Don't LIKE IT That's FINE...

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

WELL WE ARENT IN MEXICO ARE WE??? MATURE AT 14... DONT GET ME WRONG MAYBE 5% ARE MATURE AT 14 BUT THE OTHER 95% ARENT...

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I am, in spirit... :D

Well I'm not about to start dating 16 year olds so I don't care... but I do contend that age is just a number. A person's true maturity is what counts, and there are tons of girls who are 18 that act like they're 12 so their age doesn't mean sh!t.

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Originally Posted by nauticalstar420

Lets just all agree to disagree and move on....

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I disagree with that.

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Originally Posted by huno

I disagree with that.

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Haha, okay smarty pants. :)

I am, in spirit...

Well I'm not about to start dating 16 year olds so I don't care... but I do contend that age is just a number. A person's true maturity is what counts, and there are tons of girls who are 18 that act like they're 12 so their age doesn't mean sh!t.

YOUR RIGHT... THERE ARE 18 YEAR OLDS THAT ACT 12 BUT... THEY ARE 18 NOT 12... WHETHER THEY HAVE SEX OR NOT... WHICH CLEARLY HE STATED HE Wasn't GOING TO... ITS NOT RIGHT...

Sarah1989

Life Experience, Shared Values And Common Beliefs Are The Cornerstones Of A Good Solid Relationship And In Cases Of High School Aged Kids Dating Independent Adults These Essential Ingredients Are All Too Often Missing..

YO... first of all.. ur not too old. My sis got married at the age of 16 and her first kid at 17. Not even legal yet... and her husdand was like in his 20's. If she's ready for love... wait till your ready and till she's legal... okay?

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

Exactly.

Conversely, there are plenty of girls who are well into their 20s and have no goddamn clue how to be in a real relationship.

Age really is just a number; the person's maturity is what really matters.

That said, you should know (and probably already know) that you are going to get A LOT of flak from virtually everyone you know if you start a relationship with this girl (I'm assuming you're in the U.S.; other cultures aren't nearly this judgmental in this regard and even consider 16-year-old girls full adults). Her parents are going to be especially against this, even if you can prove, incontrovertibly, that you are not just looking for sex... which I really don't know how you can do.

Whatever you decide (and do so carefully), good luck!


WHEN YOUR 14 YOU SHOULDNT EVEN BE TTHINKING ABOUT BOYS... MATURE OR NOT... HOW AREYOU MATURE AT 14??? YOUR NOT... BUT THEN THE GUY AT 18 ISNT MATURE EITHER... SO WHEN YOU SAY MATURE MAYBE YOU MEAN YOU WERE MORE MATURE THEN HIM... AND WHY STRESS YOURSELF AT 14 ABOUT A "REAL RELATIONSHIP" YOUR JUST LEARNING HOW TO SPELL RELATIONSHIP.... WOW.... I DONTKNOW... I JUST DISAGREE...

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At 14 most girls are experinceing hormone changes and they are thinking about boys maybe not in a serious way but they do have bfs. Most girls aren't playing baby dolls and barbies at this age they are starting to experinceing growing up and part of growing up is going through the boy crazy ages that teenage girls go through. Age is just a number she's almost 17 he stated so she could be a senior in high school because I turned 17 the first day as a senior in high school.

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Originally Posted by Shaunta

ACTUALLY I COULD SAY SOMETHING... WHEN I MET MY BOYFRIEND I WAS 18... WHICH MEANS I WAS OUTTA SCHOOL... I DID NOT HAVE A BEDTIME... SO YOU can't COMARE ME TO THEM.... WE ARE TOTALLY LEGAL.. IF WE HAVE SEX HE WOULDNT GO TO JAIL FOR RAPE....

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The key word is "if".
Not to try and turn this into an all out internet brawl, but we aren't here to judge people. We should be here to answer the guys question. There are far worse situations on here to debate about, and I think that the originator of this question has been up front and honest.

Lets not put the guy on a rotisserie and grill him.

The key word is "if".
Not to try and turn this into an all out internet brawl, but we aren't here to judge people. We should be here to answer the guys question. There are far worse situations on here to debate about, and I think that the originator of this question has been up front and honest.

Lets not put the guy on a rotisserie and grill him.


I KNOW THAT THE GIRL IS 16 ALMOST 17... I SAID WHAT I HAD TO SAY ABOUT THAT... IM NOT KNOCKING HIMFOR THAT... BUT WHEN NAUTICALSTAR420 SAID SHE DATED A 18 YEAR OLD WHEN SHE WAS 14 GOT ME IN A UP ROAR... I Don't MIND HIM...

Well I'm 19 and my girl is 15. We are in true love now. She is very mature for her age and even looks older than she is. She knows what she wants in life and I respect her decisions. Regardless of this shaunta girl's ridiculous comments I think if you are looking for love and not lust, go for it 100%. Of course I had problems with her dad (since her mom was a friend of my mom), but he knows my intentions are only to be with her and not 'in her' if you know what I mean. Love will overcome any obstacle it meets so use it to keep you two together. AGE DOES NOT MATTER!! Let no one tell you otherwise. 6 years is kind of pushing it but God will keep you two together if you let him help out too. I say GO FOR IT DUDE.

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Originally Posted by lamboleum

Well I'm 19 and my girl is 15. We are in true love now. She is very mature for her age and even looks older than she is. She knows what she wants in life and i respect her decisions. Regardless of this shaunta girl's rediculous comments i think if you are looking for love and not lust, go for it 100%. Of course i had problems with her dad (since her mom was a friend of my mom), but he knows my intentions are only to be with her and not 'in her' if you know what i mean. Love will overcome any obstacle it meets so use it to keep you two together. AGE DOES NOT MATTER!!!!! Let no one tell you otherwise. 6 years is kinda pushing it but God will keep you two together if you let him help out too. I say GO FOR IT DUDE.

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THANK YOU! I knew I wasn't the only person that felt this way! :)

As long as your not looking for sex man, I'm happy you found one!

Keep her, it might be worth it, good job waiting till your married too! Wish I could've done that, more power to you my man!

And I don't care what these people say, always go for love dude, no matter what anyone tells you, or fills you head with because if you don't go after that one, only ONE! special someone then you will have a very bad life my man... so don't go believing all this crap about how you shouldn't At least give it a try man, do it!

Hi,
I think that, that is really nice of you I had someone once do something along those lines for me once and he became so close in my heart but for some reason I couldn't let go of my ex, it still makes me sad cause I really liked that guy because he was so kind hearted but I just couldn't let go, anyway my boyfriends is 28 and I'm 19 we've been together for over a year and a half and I don't think that your age difference is that big of a deal, the only thing about it is that she is just turning 17 and when I met my boyfriend I was going to be 18 so it just depends on how you feel about the deference law wise... that's what everyone always joked/talked about with me and my boyfriend when we first got together but its very different now... everyone is fine cause I've been around so long and occasionally we'll joke about it. I think that if you like her and you think she's right for you then you go for it but having a boyfriend that's all crazy at only 16, its seem maybe like their would be a little bit of baggage with the relationship. I would just be careful because my boyfriend now is not the nicest guy I couldn't let it go because I loved him so much and had been with him, even though not that long we'd been through a lot. Even though I really liked the other guy... all I am saying is just be careful you don't get hurt, because with me he did, it was liked I played with his motions unintensionally.
Aiysie

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Originally Posted by Haxzor50

as long as your not looking for sex man, im happy you found one!

keep her, it might be worth it, good job waiting till your married too! Wish i could've done that, more power to ya my man!!

And i dont care what these people say, always go for love dude, no matter what anyone tells you, or fills you head with because if you dont go after that one, only ONE!, special someone then you will have a very bad life my man... soo dont go believing all this crap about how you shouldn't ATLEAST give it a try man, do it!

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I don't get what everyone's freakin problem is anyway. I totally agree, if you think its love, don't pass it up!

He said he wasn't going to be in it for sex, therefore, to get right to the point, its not illegal. Like I said earlier, you might have problems with parents, but you won't go to jail. Other people may say it's a bad idea, but not everyone has that opinion. Just remember no matter what, some people will agree, some will disagree, and its just something you'll have to live with. :)

Hey, it's 4 years, and I think if she likes you, and you aren't in ANY way interested in sex, and she's one of those girlst that are really mature for her age, then go for it... as long as it's because the two of you care for each other... I don't know, it's different for people that are older (even with the same difference) than younger... honestly... the hard part is determining when you get to the point where both people are to the point where 4 years ins't a big difference... different for a 15 year old and an 11 year old (wich I think would be REDICULOUS), and a 24 and 20 year old...

If your intentions are so good and noble, then you should recognise the problems you could cause her with her family. Part of being mature and responsible is weighing what you want, with what's best for all involved. You may independent, but she is not, and living with parents who are responsible for her. So the question is will this plutonic relationship be a secret, or will everything be done with the blessing of mom and dad? FYI: No way a 22 year old man comes sniffing around my 17 year old daughter. Just an opinion of a Father. Your intentions are irelevant.