Justy - Thanks for that post. I do worry that this absenteeism of their mother will have a detrimental effect on them and that they may grow to resent me in some way. I wish that there was something that I could do, but I guess the only thing that I can do is to just sit back and let them determine when or if that will happen. I just feel so sorry for them because my family is so close and if my mom was like that I would have been so hurt. Glad to hear that someone can still make it in life even with that situation. I'm sure I will be looking to you for advice as it relates to the kids because you were there once yourself - and almost in the same circumstances. Any other advice that you can give would ALWAYS be greatly appreciated. I just don't want to step on any toes, make anyone uncomfortable, etc.

Thanks again!

Mom you are an absolute sweetheart, kind , caring, and considerate to a fault.

You seem to think of every detail, and try to work it out for everyone but, what do you do for you. I am so curious (nosey?? ) how you spend your leisure time. When your not doing for everyone else.

Don't make me beg, cause I am good at it.

Okay, I'm supposed to be working right now (I work out of my home during the day as an account executive). To answer your question of what I do for me, I post here every once in a while. I cook (love to do that, when I have the time), talk on the phone, read, play with my cat. I do take time for myself - I do the girl thing of getting my hair done, nails done, and for a little while, I would get massages (I need one again soon, but kind of short on cash because of my knee injury). Then the other part of my socialization is when I work at the restaurant at night (Thank GOD I am back to that!! ) I love that job because I get to take care of people, socialize and I love it when I can make someone happy with a good meal and the service that I provide.

Did I answer your question?

I forgot to add that I also go out with my girlfriends for girls night out. I just started in a group of girls to have a monthly dinner party (travels from house to house - a different one every month). I hosted the last one and had a BLAST!!

I have a funny story to add. Up until last week, I have never cooked a meal for my boyfriend. Either we would be at his house, and I just feel so uncomfortable in someone else's kitchen, or we would get together after I got off work, which would be WELL past dinner time, or we would have plans to go out to eat. So, the subject never presented itself. I would tell him every once in a while that I would have to make him my chili because I get a lot of compliments on it, etc. When I was telling him that I was having a dinner party with my girlfriends and I was cooking rock cornish hens, he said, "I didn't know that you knew how to cook." That totally shocked me, but then again, how would he know for certain? I told him that yes I did know how to cook. He then stated that we have been together for a year and he has never "gotten a home cooked meal" from me. I told him that when he came over (it was last Saturday that he came over) that I would cook him something and that YES I did know how to cook.

However, because of that statement, it put the wheels in my head to rolling. I bought a pork roast, made a salad, rice pilaf, green beans and garlic bread. I also had the table nicely set with my china and crystal (I pulled out all of the stops). In addition to that, I also made macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. After he was at my place for about an hour, I said that dinner should be ready and I went into the kitchen. When I told him that everything was ready, he came to the table, where he found the hotdogs on a plate and the macaroni and cheese in a bowl. The look on his face was CLASSIC!! But, he proceeded to pull out his chair and started to sit down, reaching for the macaroni and cheese. I was all set to non chalantly sit down with him, act if nothing was out of the ordinary, ask him if he wanted ketchup or mustard to go with his hotdogs and start eating, but I could not stop laughing. I just said, it's a joke, don't eat that!! He then started laughing himself and said, "You're not going to throw out that mac and cheese are you?" When I pulled out the pork roast and started slicing it, the biggest look of relief appeared on his face. See, so even though I may appear to be all serious, I also have a wacky sense of humor.

Therefore, I guess the other thing that I do for myself is LAUGH!!

And, Talaniman, what do you do in YOUR leisure time?

He likes to beg... that ought to come in handy for something.

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Originally Posted by Mom of 2

I forgot to add that I also go out with my girlfriends for girls night out. I just started in a group of girls to have a monthly dinner party (travels from house to house - a different one every month). I hosted the last one and had a BLAST!!!

I have a funny story to add. Up until last week, I have never cooked a meal for my boyfriend. Either we would be at his house, and I just feel so uncomfortable in someone else's kitchen, or we would get together after I got off of work, which would be WELL past dinner time, or we would have plans to go out to eat. So, the subject never presented itself. I would tell him every once in a while that I would have to make him my chili because I get a lot of compliments on it, etc. When I was telling him that I was having a dinner party with my girlfriends and I was cooking rock cornish hens, he said, "I didn't know that you knew how to cook." That totally shocked me, but then again, how would he know for certain? I told him that yes I did know how to cook. He then stated that we have been together for a year and he has never "gotten a home cooked meal" from me. I told him that when he came over (it was last Saturday that he came over) that I would cook him something and that YES I did know how to cook.

However, because of that statement, it put the wheels in my head to rolling. I bought a pork roast, made a salad, rice pilaf, green beans and garlic bread. I also had the table nicely set with my china and crystal (I pulled out all of the stops). In addition to that, I also made macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. After he was at my place for about an hour, I said that dinner should be ready and I went into the kitchen. When I told him that everything was ready, he came to the table, where he found the hotdogs on a plate and the macaroni and cheese in a bowl. The look on his face was CLASSIC!!! But, he proceeded to pull out his chair and started to sit down, reaching for the macaroni and cheese. I was all set to non chalantly sit down with him, act if nothing was out of the ordinary, ask him if he wanted ketchup or mustard to go with his hotdogs and start eating, but I could not stop laughing. I just said, it's a joke, don't eat that!!!! He then started laughing himself and said, "You're not going to throw out that mac and cheese are you?" When I pulled out the pork roast and started slicing it, the biggest look of relief appeared on his face. See, so even though I may appear to be all serious, I also have a wacky sense of humor.

Therefore, I guess the other thing that I do for myself is LAUGH!!!!

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Hey Mom, this post was also more enlightening than even you may realize. You are very introspective about the relationship which is priceless and so valuable but this story shows how very much is still yet to be learned about each other. I mean, after all the dates, the fun, the kids, the family situations, thinking about the ex's, worrying about unspoken words, do you see how much is also getting passed by? He didn't even knew you could cook, after a year of time together!! What a fun discovery for him that you are a wonderful cook but also a great discovery to realize he is not seeing you in all your talents and abilities. The words will come.

He probably wanders around - what did he say the last time? AIMLESSLY!! JK!!

Thanks for all of your GREAT advice.

Jrebel - WOW!! I did not think about that. He just assumed that I did not know how to cook and I never offered to before this. Hey, I deserve to be wined and dined!! By the way, he has cooked for me a couple of times. I helped him a little with that, but I just let him take the lead. Maybe we both need to be more direct and more demonstrative in our ways. Otherwise, both of us will not realize all that the other person can do, etc.

P.S. I tried to give you a greenie, but I had to spread the rep.

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Originally Posted by Mom of 2

And, Talaniman, what do you do in YOUR leisure time?

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What leisure time? :eek:

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He likes to beg... that ought to come in handy for something.

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My wife never says No to me. But I do get some dirty looks, that's when I wonder around aimlessly.

I just wanted some insights into your personality, as I suspect you are very high energy most times, and a people person. Reading your post wore me out with all those activities, so I better rest for the grandkids. Whew!

You just don't know how I root for things to go well for you.

Hey, Talaniman, you have to have some kind of leisure time!! Take a look at my schedule and I have leisure time even with my busy schedule. What do you do for yourself? Interesting minds want to know!

I've learned a lot in the past day or so regarding things that I did not even think about. It all boils down to communication. Here I thought that I was communicating well, but it is apparent that I have not been as transparent as I thought I was. I will be making a point of making him more aware of who I am as a person in order to help him understand me and my needs better, and hopefully he will do the same.

When we talk every day, we talk about issues that have occurred that day, which does give each other, I think, a little glimpse of our thinking on daily things. I always wondered why he would ask me what my schedule looked like during the week when I was not with him. I just thought that he was making conversation and that he really did not want to know, so I would leave out all of the mundane nitty gritty things, things that I now understand would help him to understand a lot more of the type of person that I am. Maybe it is because I did not want to bother him with the boring stuff, but then again, the boring stuff is life and is what makes the individual who they are. So, here I am complaining how he doesn't tell me anything, but in retrospect, he has been asking me the same thing, but in a different way. I hope that makes sense!!

So from now on, when he asks me what my week looks like, it means that he wants to know about me as a person. When he tells me what he is doing this week, he is trying to tell me who he is as a person. He constantly tells me everything about what he did that day as well as what he is going to do for the remaining day and week. He doesn't just want to know about the exciting stuff, but all the little stuff too.

I fell into the same scenerio with the cooking thing with my boyfriend for the first couple years while we were dating and although it was exclusive, we were not living together, so it was like dating all of the time, we never got to sit down to a homemade dinner together although I did every night with the kids, he wasn't there when I cleaned house, he didn't know my normal bedtime and after work routines really until we were living together. This stuff will come in time and I could have gone another twenty years before having my cooking compared to his mother's... LOL. You have learned a lot about him and he has learned a lot about you but while you are keeping the children apart you are running two different lives, at least that is what I felt like. It is stressful to know you have had all of this time together and you know each other on one level and other levels of their personality you don't know anything about. Some men aren't open with verbal communication but I have noticed even if they aren't vocal they are taking notes mentally and they pay attention to all of those things that women vocalize, I can bet he is always thinking about your place in his future. You will get there, but don't drive yourself nuts overanalyzing things... I am definitely an overanalyzer and possible already a little nuts! :)

Looks like you females are starting to understand how we DO communicate. Hehehehehe! It took a while before I realized what my wife was saying, and it was then I started paying closer attention. Seems we humans need the time to understand how our partner coveys thoughts, ideas, and feelings, that's why us men act so dumb, as frustrating as that is, as we need more specific information, not just feelings. I know, females are the same. Mom, your right on course though, as after a year, your starting to see who he is, and I imagine he is also starting to get you. Sometimes over thinking things leads us the wrong way, so just me, I keep it simple. (the brain is slow sometimes, and WONDERS AIMLESSLY, THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME , huh)! Paying attention to your partner, doesn't mean hanging on to, or analyzing every word, but blending the words, with the actions, to get a clearer picture. (Do looks count? My wife has a few I read very well.)

As far as leisure, I got one word for you! Netflix. My wife and I still date, when the kids, and grandkids, or the dog, aren't around.

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I am definitely an overanalyzer and possible already a little nuts! :)

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I better check your profile, eh!

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I better check your profile, eh!

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Oh, my!

Honey, I absolutely loved the story of that special dinner! You are almost like my daughter and her hubby. They enjoy a good joke and compliment each other too.

Getting back to the kids and their mother... she's using them because she is not finished with her depression and anger over the split with her 'family' - no matter who was at fault. She just does not seem to be able to cope with seeing that he has moved on and lets the kid in her stomp feet to show her discontent.

So, she will probably continue to stop the 'family' gatherings on holidays and go sulk somewhere for a few years until she has achieved closure.

You are not taking her place, just as has been said, but you don't have to feel guilty for liking the kids and wanting them to enjoy the holidays either. So, do let them share these events with you and your children, and let your children know that without their support, his children would be without the joy of sharing these holidays - and they will probably be happy to help out. I think he will also appreciate this and won't have to worry and stress himself out thinking of what to do with them during these times.
Give it a try, it cannot hurt - at least not in my opinion..

Again, good luck dear. Your heart is big enough for them all, and I'm sure they'll will appreciate it. Your children already know what a super mom they have and will probably be proud to show you off to anyone you invite.

Talk to you later dear.

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Thanks, Chery. I think I will bring up the subject of "When do you think we should introduce our kids to each other". I'll put the ball in his court and let him think that it will be his decision instead of me adding pressure to it.

I know that I will not be replacing their mother and the only thing that I feel worried about in that area is the resentment that sometimes follows if the kids feel that I am ALWAYS around, etc. However, I have to realize that I don't have control over that and that I just have to continue being the open and caring person that I am and be there for them when they need me to be.

At any rate, it's not really creating a lot of problems other than the fact sometimes our plans have to change or we aren't able to see each other a lot.

If I think back to this time last year and all that has transpired, a lot has taken place. Again, we are not in a race and things will continue to be discovered with the passage of time.

I am excited for you, I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how well it will go when the kids meet each other and I think the timing may be appropriate. I can't wait to hear how he takes the topic.

Keep us up to date, since we are all enjoying your life third person... LOL.

C and I were supposed to get together on Tuesday night, but a personal matter with his daughter came up and changed our plans. Now, way at the VERY beginning of the relationship, I would have been more disappointed. However, I just took it in stride and knew that if something like that would happen with me and my kids, that I know he would understand and that there was nothing that he could do about it. (I won't go into what it was, but it was a medical issue).

If anything, I think that it brought us even closer together because he has been calling me two to three times a day and sending me emails to ask my opinion, vent and just keep me up to date. I'm just there to offer my support and advice (if he asks for it).

I'm glad that he can come to me for these things. Even though I would have loved to have been with him on Tuesday night, I am sooo glad that he felt comfortable enough with me that he would be able to share his feelings, thoughts, etc.

I am beginning to realize that it is not so important whether I will hear those three little words at this moment. Don't get me wrong, I still want to hear them, but that is the least of my worries at this point. If I did not know it before, I definitely know it now, I AM important to him.

By the way, I was hoping to have that conversation on Tuesday night that I had mentioned to you all the other day. So, that will go on the back burner for a little bit anyway. That is a conversation that I would like to have face to face and not over the phone. I know I have asked this question in a similar fashion, but what is the best way to bring up a serious subject without him suddenly going, "Uh oh." I'm just looking into a segueway to get on the subject. I just don't want to be sitting there quietly watching TV and then say, "Oh, hon, when do you think that our kids should meet?" I just have such a hard time bringing up any REAL serious subjects. Once I'm in the conversation, then I can take it from there. But how do I start it? I know, I know, at this point, he probably wouldn't get too riddled with how I brought it up, but any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Start discussing your holiday arrangements, determine how he feels about getting "everyone" together at some point in time to celebrate/attend church... something with a family value to it.

Like I said, I will be with him and his kids on Thanksgiving at his parents. I just heard back from my sister-in-law (about an hour ago) that they are hosting Thanksgiving for my family on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. They've already met C, so she also made sure that I knew that he was invited as well.

What I just did was sent him an email about the plans for that Sunday with my family. I also mentioned in that email that if his kids are with him on that day, and IF he and his kids felt comfortable with it, that they are invited as well. I have a feeling that this might not be a comfortable situation for him and his kids, in that his kids would then be meeting my entire family, but I put it out there. I really did not want to email him about the plans, as I would rather talk to him about it, but on the flip side, I also wanted to give him some time and space to think about it without him feeling pressured to give me an immediate answer. I feel like I took the chicken way out, but like I said, his knee jerk reaction would probably be to say no, thinking that he would have to give me an answer right away. It is my hope that he will be able to think about it, talk to his kids about it and then come back to me with his answer.

All I can do now is just wait for his reply. If he does not respond to me via email, then I'm sure that we will be talking about it tonight when he calls.

I am sorry what I meant is that you, him, and all of the kids get together and do something for the holidays... not necessarily with outside family members, I agree that would make the situation harder. It could be as simple as a local tree lighting, a thanksgiving/santa skate day, something not too long and maybe the kids can bond.

Then again, he had invited me and my kids over to his house over the summer for his daughter's 16th birthday party, in which his entire family was there (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc). The plans were all set for this to happen and then I fell and broke my knee a week prior to that!! Because of this, my kids were at their dad's for the week and I was staying at my friend's house (the one who is dating my boyfriend's brother). Therefore, the kids were not able to come with me, but I was able to get there because my friend was driving, etc. However, the only difference to this situation and Thanksgiving is that my boyfriend has an inground pool at his house and the kids would have been busy swimming and keeping busy with that. Also, it was on their turf and not someone else's. They could have retreated to their own rooms if they wanted to.

Well, I will just have to wait and see. I can't go back and change what I already did. I'm not going to worry about it (that's right Talaniman!! ). Just wait and see. It's not going to damage the relationship any. What it will do is bring the subject to the forefront. Maybe then I will feel more comfortable about bringing up the subject of the Christmas holidays and seeing what happens with that.

You handled things well so far, and amazing when you relax, and just go with the flow, you have oppurtunities for discussion. See what he says and go from there.

Just to add communications is important, and paying attention to your partner is equally important. I always thought it best to just lay it out, and then judge, if it best to give them think time, or push for answers.

Be flexible with him though, as all things happen in their own time, for their own reasons. Keep hanging in there.

Thanks T. I will do just that.

Tal is right, you are doing just fine, honey.

It is hard for any couple with their own children to have everything wind up in sudden harmony, but I have a feeling that he is willing to achieve that with you and will support you.

And, as I said before, the kids will 'sniff each other out' and it might be a little bit strange for you, but they will eventually come to arrangements with each other. They already know for sure that their Mom and Dad like each other and if they start liking you, or him (depending on the kids) - things will be less stressful for you.

You've surely got my fingers crossed!

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Hope it winds up being a super 'Turkey Day!'

Thanks, Chery!

So far, he has not responded to the email that I sent a couple of hours ago. I really was not expecting that he would respond right away, as that was part of the reason that I had sent him the email in the first place, so that he could think about it.

Most likely he will call me tonight and we can discuss it then. If he ends up not coming with me to my family's Thanksgiving, I have to at least be thankful that I was able to spend Thanksgiving day with him and that he asked me to spend Thanksgiving day with him. Everything in life is not perfect. You have to be happy that at least some things come out your way.

So, I will let you know what comes out of it as soon as I know myself. Most likely, he will say that he would like to go, but he will have to check to see what his kids are up to. Maybe they will be with their mom or something else.

As I expected, he called tonight. We talked about our usual stuff - how our day went, the kids, plans for this weekend, schedules, etc. I was waiting for him to bring up the subject about my email, but he didn't. When I heard his usual phrase that indicates the end of the conversation, I asked if he received my email about Thanksgiving and he said no. He told me that the server at work was on the fritz. Then he asked, "What about Thanksgiving? You're still coming, right?" I told him yes, but that the email was about MY family's Thanksgiving. I told him that it was on the Sunday after Thanksgiving and that I put all the details in there. He just said that he would read the email tomorrow and then let me know. I did not say anything about inviting his kids to it because I knew that he would be reading it tomorrow. So, I will just wait and see.

Wow, you are patient, that is a good thing... :)

Yes, I am patient. Sometimes though I think it is more about fear. Maybe, maybe not.

Like I said, I'm not in any rush, although it WOULD make it a lot easier for all of us if we could get this part out of the way. In that way, we could spend more time with each other, we wouldn't have to check about what each of our kids are doing to see if we can get together. Everybody would be more comfortable.

But, I don't want either sets of kids to feel that they are forced to act like one wonderful family. Even if the kids were introduced, I would hope that he would understand (and I hope that I would also be able to understand) that we still need our individual time with our own kids. For instance, from what I get from my kids, my ex's girlfriend is ALWAYS over and my kids are getting sick of it. I think added to this is that whenever she is over, they seem to have one argument after another. It is to the point that my son would like for them to breakup. (By the way, I don't ask them questions, they always lay it out as soon as they get home from his place). Although C and I have not had any fights, we have had some differences of opinion. It is wonderful to know that we can discuss issues, something that I was not used to in my marriage (hence my ex always arguing with his current girlfriend). I also know that if we were together while the kids were present, we would be able to keep our mouths shut until a more appropriate time presented itself. Even if it is sitting in the car in the garage, at least the kids can't hear everything. Or how about going for a walk? It's one thing for kids to hear disagreements and healthy ways of dealing with opposing viewpoints, but entirely another when there is name calling, one person yelling at another to get a life, etc.

Okay, I got off on a tangent, but I'm not going to delete it because I think it says a lot about my personality, and what I had to deal with in the past - as the situation with his current girlfriend sounds very similar to what was happening in our marriage (at least now I know it wasn't just me! )

What I am trying to say is that I don't want my kids to get sick of him being around all of the time and I don't want his kids to get sick of me being around them all of the time. If the kids get along well and they enjoy spending time together, then great, it's a win/win scenario. But even then, we still need eachother's space.

So, I will just wait to hear from him tomorrow. I will of course post and let you know!!

Just got an email from him a few minutes ago that simply read "Got your message". Therefore, I know that he is thinking about it. That is a lot better than coming right out of the box and saying "No."

Again, wait and see. It's not like we are not going to be spending at least part of the holiday together. Besides, I have to look back a complete year, as I did not even know him a year ago. A lot has gone on this past year (It will be a complete year on Dec. 2 that we started dating)

He called me at noon today just to say hi and just to "hear your voice". It was a very short conversation, but it kind of surprised me when he called because he does not normally call me during the day. I did not bring the subject about Thanksgiving up, as I know he will tell me when he has an answer. I will be glad if he can make it, but I know that he has his reasons if he can't.

Your are doing it right honey. As you said, you didn't even know each other a year ago. And, you are not used to being able to talk civil about issues without an audience (your ex seems to need one). Take it slow, the kids don't like conflicts and when they see that there will be none with you two, they will feel more comfortable too.

Keep on going with your gut-feeling and give him the security that you will accept his decisions as well. After all, there will be more holidays if this lasts and we don't need to rush anything at all. Just enjoy the time you do have together and miss each other when it's not possible.

My daughter and her now hubby have been together with one break-up before my grandson was born, and he's 2 now. This year will be the first time that I spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with them (long story) and it warms my heart. It took a lot out of me to not be pushy, but it paid off in the long-run.

So, I'm sure, that for you, this will also pay off.

Will be sending you good vibes and best wishes during both of these events, dear..

Give those kids of yours an extra hug for me too.
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Thanksgiving went very well. Was kind of nervous, as my ex was two hours late in picking up the kids, but it was in time for me not to have to rush to get to C's house on time (per the divorce decree, this year the kids are with him on Thanksgiving and with me on Christmas).

When I finally arrived, C and I talked for a minute or two outside of his car. While we were talking, I did not notice right away that his son was waiting in the car. After a minute or two, his son tapped on his window and frantically waved at me. After waving back to him, I turned to C, and said, "Wow, I think he likes me." C then said, "Yeah, he really likes you".

The drive over to his mom's house was very comfortable. The three of us fell easily into a conversation that was not stilted in any way. His daughter was already at the house when we arrived, as she drove there earlier. Now that she has her license and her own car, she always wants to drive separately.

It is always uncomfortable when arriving somewhere you have never been before. However, that did not last very long.

Dinner of course was delicious. As with any family, there are always differences in how families do things. For instance, in my family, everyone brings their plate to the kitchen and helps to clear off the table without anyone being asked to do so. However, that is not so with C's family. When everyone was done, they got up and left the room. I just sat there for a second and then started to help his mom clear the table. Eventually, she just shagged me out of the kitchen. C later explained to me that this was just the way that his mom liked it and that was how he was raised. He also said that he was shocked that she allowed me in the kitchen to help her at all because that had never happened before. Needless to say, I guess I made a great impression.

The rest of the evening was very relaxed. His daughter left soon after dinner. Eventually, the rest of us went to the family room to watch TV. We left a few hours later.

There were a few "bonding" moments between C's son and I - i.e. giving him the sign to give C a wet willy instead of just trying to stick his finger in his ear (he gave a great big smile and then did just that), giving him ideas on how he could redecorate his room when the subject came up (I was surprised when he turned to his dad and said, "Dad, can I do that?")

Overall, it was a very, very good day.

Sounds like your having fun getting to know everyone. That's the way its supposed to be. You go girl!

He's been traveling to Canada for his job since Tuesday and I miss him. It's funny because it's not like I would see him if he was home. I guess a part of me wishes that I could go with him sometimes. Maybe someday. I also realize when traveling for business it is not always fun, as I used to be in corporate America and did some traveling myself. It's not like I could go anyway because I have my kids.

Is this love? I think it is. Haven't said those words yet though, although I almost said them on Thanksgiving when we were alone. It almost slipped out when we were cuddling, but for some reason, I just held back. I know it is out of fear of not hearing those words come back after I say them. I know that if he did not say them, I would feel hurt. So, I guess it is avoidance.

He did say, "Happy Anniversary" on the 2nd. I'm trying not to read too much into that, but I was happy that he remembered. He said that it did not feel like a year and I had to agree with him.

It is amazing that so much has happened in this past year. Before I met him, I resigned myself into thinking that I would be alone for the rest of my life. I was somewhat sad about that, but I knew that if I dwelled on it, it would drive me into a severe depression and I could not do that to myself or my kids. I have grown so much since my divorce and I am proud of myself for so many things. My boyfriend does not make me who I am; I make me who I am. However, he seems to complete the circle of who I am (thank you Jerry McGuire - I just love that movie!! ). I cannot envision my life without him being part of it. We have a long road to go and so far, I am loving the journey.

I really am happy for you Mom of 2 , you know this has really turned out to be a "feel good' thread :)

Thanks for the compliment, Friend4u178. I just find it very therapeutic for me in that it is almost like a journal for me. Also, if I can in someway help someone else out there who is going through the same things, then it is always a plus. It is always nice to know that you are not alone and that someone else is going through the same issues and that you are completely normal. Sorry that this thread may in some ways be boring, but I kind of like the fact that there is not so much drama. I'll leave that for the other threads that are out there!!

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posted 2/ 28 /08
The other posters are right, I think it takes more than 3 months, to know someone well enough, to know whether they are worth more from you. Enjoy the getting to know him, and his children, and see how you feel in a year. Then think long, and hard where you want it to go! There is no hurry, so you can be as cautious as you need to be. Go slowly and carefully,and have fun.

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So seems your having fun, and going strong, and in light of the other sagas we get here, a really good, mature, feel good, story, is so refreshing to be a part of. Keep it going.

Okay, I can't sleep. I have a lot on my mind. The job situation in this country is surely the pits. Although I still have a job, for which I am very thankful, I can't help but worry that it is at risk. I know, I know. Everyone is in the same boat (or at least most people). It can happen to anyone.

Anyway, enough of that. Just wanted to provide yet another update.

I had to work at my restaurant job all weekend (Fri and Sat). I always have Sundays off, which is nice. C called me around 1 p.m. after hungting with his brother, dad and son. He wanted me to come over to his place to run "errands". When I finally got over there, we got in the car and he asked me, "What do your kids want for Christmas". The subject of whether we were going to get eachother's kids anything has been on my mind, but I did not want to bring it up. I THINK that he was trying to ask me this several weeks ago when he asked me if I started Christmas shopping for my kids yet, or whether I was going to go shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I just kind of shrugged and said that I did not start, nor was I going out on that dreadful shopping day!!

I told him some things and he then said that he wanted to buy something for my kids and would be okay if he bought such and such. I was so happy because this means so much to me. I then told him what I was thinking about getting his kids and were they good ideas. He said yes. After the shopping, he asked if I was hungry, and without hesitation or thought, I asked if his son had dinner yet (he was home alone at the time) and that we should do something with him, as it would be rude to go and eat somewhere while he was hungry at home. He just looked at me and smiled, said, "You're right" and proceeded to call his son. We had a nice dinner at his house and then watched some TV before I left for home. Okay, nothing too exciting, but I thought it was a very nice evening anyway.

He had to travel to Mexico until Friday, so I have not been able to talk to him today. I talked to him yesterday before he had to board the plane. Even though we saw each other on Sunday, I still miss him so much. I always look forward to the phone calls every night because I can't wait to tell him how my day was and to ask about his. Believe me, I can function without him, but it is so nice just to hear his voice.

That's it for now.