Ask Me Help Desk - No one will date me, talk to me, not even look at me. Is it because I am black?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

of course you did not get the self pity answers you wanted, the truth is a hard mirror to look into.

Perhaps it will sink in and help you in the long run

You're right Fr_Chuck. Please don't take back the balancer because I'm white:eek: To the OP this is what you sound like. Be proud of your race and stop blaming the color of your skin on your personal failings.

To Fr_Chuck: maybe the truth is what I need to face, albeit hard to face. I need to feel human and live

The world is full of all kinds of people. Some are racists. Some are just a$$es. Some are great. Some are a mixture of traits that we like and some we don't.

Try to stop lumping everyone together, make an effort with everyone you meet, and judge them as you find them.

I'm white but that doesn't mean I've never been on the receiving end of racist behaviour. Yes it does happen both ways. At one time I lived in a predominantly Asian area in the UK and received some unpleasant behaviour from Asian men who thought that I was inferior because I was white and female. I have been cursed and spat at and so have my children for being white. I also know many very nice Asian people. I do admit that you have probably faced racism far more than me, but if you can try to write off the racists you have met as not worth your time and emotions, and look out for the better people and be open to relating to them, you can surround yourself with the kind of people you can be happy with.

I have also come across plenty of mean people who are just that way and will find something to use against you regardless of the colour of your skin. I was once on the receiving end of some nasty behaviour from a work colleague who decided I was a snob purely on the basis that I didn't use bad language at work. (lol!) Again I leave them to their own nasty little world and enjoy spending time with people who I think are actually worth being around. But you won't find those people who are worth having if you assume everyone is the same and don't give people a chance.

If I am open and friendly to anyone who abuses that I simply think, 'shame on you' and move on. Try to stop focusing on what might be wrong with you for some people to treat you badly, and to stop keeping your barriers up to protect yourself from future possible negativity. Learn to bounce that negativity back to them and stay open to the positive.

I have thought a lot (esp. last night) about what everyone has said, and I am making an attempt to change, and obtain some confidence...

Quote:

Originally Posted by aivrsn75phila

I have thought a lot (esp. last night) about what everyone has said, and I am making an attempt to change, and obtain some confidence...

Good for you.. You can do it. Start playing that beautiful piano music again and put your feelings into the songs you write. I'm proud of you!:)

To Kitkat22: thank you. I am only human and have a different threshold for pain. I do not like the reality I live in but I also do not like what I have become. I am truly seeking some counsel and help to be better.

To QLP: thank you and I appreciate the anecdote. I am making an honest stride to be better

Quote:

Originally Posted by aivrsn75phila

to QLP: thank you and I appreciate the anecdote. I am making an honest stride to be better

Is that you in the avatar?

Yes, it is

Quote:

Originally Posted by aivrsn75phila

yes, it is

WOW! You are very handsome. Get back into the dating scene. You'll have to get a bodyguard to keep the women away. Good Luck and play the piano, date, write and love life. You are really a cutie.:cool:

To Kitkat22: um, thank you. I've never really dated, but no bodyguard needed :)
Again thank you (blushing)

Quote:

Originally Posted by aivrsn75phila

to Kitkat22: um, thank you. I've never really dated, but no bodyguard needed :)
again thank you (blushing)

You are a very good looking young man. Now go get them. Keep us posted.:)

I am going to be Jazz trained starting next month, (also convinced by an impromptu outburst from my mom to play music) so... it's a slow start back into it

Quote:

Originally Posted by aivrsn75phila

I am going to be Jazz trained starting next month, (also convinced by an impromptu outburst from my mom to play music) so...it's a slow start back into it

You can do it and always remember, you have friends here. We are rooting for you.
God Bless you in everything you undertake... Kit:)

To Kitkat22: thank you. What do you look like, I am curious

By the way, how important do you think looks are?

Phwoar, one classy gent! If I were younger, single, and on a different continent... ;0

To QLP: :) thanks. I never look at age as I was in a relati. With a 49 year old

Quote:

Originally Posted by QLP

Phwoar, one classy gent! If I were younger, single, and on a different continent.... ;0

I'm old enough to be your mother. I am five foot five weigh about 129.
Dark red hair and green eyes. My husband calls me the greened eyed red headed tornado when I get mad. You are going to do great things.
Good luck and Blessings.:)

To Kitkat22: so you're about 40?

Quote:

Originally Posted by aivrsn75phila

to Kitkat22: so you're about 40?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:D Wish I were forty again. No I have children your age and older.:)