Really depends on the guy
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Really depends on the guy
First, you've got to understand where this 'rule' comes from (that some men won't date virgins). Young men (18-25) are after women who are attractive and putting out. It's that phase they go through once they finally reach independence from home. No more rules. No one telling him that he can't have company past a certain hour. He's free. Free to date anyone and have sex with anyone. And, of course, sex feels good. And men are going to do what feels good at this point. And women out of High School are just the ones to help them feel good. Throughout High School, most guys have dealt with girls who want to wait until they are ready to have sex. So, once the guys are out of the house, they don't want to have to deal with girls telling them that they aren't ready or want to wait a few months first. They want sex now. They want everything that has been denied to them. Sometimes it's more than sex. It's alcohol. Cigarettes. Porn. Drugs. Why do you think that so many college students drink? Beer does not taste good the first time you drink it. But college students force themselves to get use to the taste an eventually love it simply because they feel like they are missing out on something. Now that doesn't apply to everyone because not every guy wants drugs and porn. But I can confidently tell you that ever guy between the ages of 18 and 25 wants sex. Now there is always an exception to the rule. But what I stay still stands. Why would a young man who has finally reached his independence tie himself down to a girl who isn't giving it up when there are millions of girls out there who ARE giving it up? TV, movies, magazines, and other forms o media makes sex out to be something glamourous (just like beer). And it feels good to a lot of people. So they want to see what all of the hubbub is about.
Young men at this stage aren't really looking for love. Now if love just so happens to come across them, then that's great. But no guy ever says "Now that I've moved out of my parents' house, it's time for me to find a wife/long term girlfriend." No. They don't say that. They say, it's time to have some real fun. And convincing a virgin to have sex with him would obviously prove to be more work than it's worth.
Now, after a while of sleeping around with girl after girl, he'll begin to get bored. Every girl seems exactly the same. She's a drunk or a party girl and she's ready to go home with somebody. He compliments her outfit and tells her how pretty she looks. She giggles and, long story short, they have sex. That's not very exciting when you've been doing it for sooooo many years. So, at this point (26+), he starts to look for women with substance. Women who offer a challenge and have more to offer than just good (or bad) sex. This is good news for you because you're at that age where your fellow man starts to 'grow up'. Men will start to value you for your personality and who you are. And sex is secondary.
Now do NOT think that, just because the men are above 27, that they aren't prepared to go back down memory lane. If you come off as a sexual being (i.e super tight, revealing outfits that were meant to grab the eye) and if you are throwing yourself at the men (flirting all the time and winking and licking your lips) then he's going to treat you like he treated those girls back in his college days. He's going to pursue you, expecting sex. You have to come off as more than just a girl who can wet his . You have to come off as a person. Someone who he feels could benefit his life in more ways than just sexual. If you make yourself appear like you are worth it then he will treat you as such. He'll try a little longer and have a stronger desire for you. If sex comes with you then that's great. If it doesn't, then it's not a deal breaker for him because he sees you as more than just a floozy from his early adulthood. He sees someone he can potentially take seriously. And what man doesn't want that? :)
Thanks for taking the trouble to post that. It really helped.m :)
Just be yourself and if the guy says "lets do it.."
tell him to back off :)
What?
I mean having sex...Quote:
Originally Posted by lf156
Yeah I figured, but they run away anyway when they find out that I'm a virgin lolQuote:
Originally Posted by hjpan
So? That means the guy is shallow =/Quote:
Originally Posted by lf156
You'll find your partner.. eventually!
I didn't find mine until I was out of high school
Let's hope so :PQuote:
Originally Posted by hjpan
There are many people in your situation; but I hardly know any in mine.Quote:
I didn't find mine until I was out of high school
OP, change the social circle that you are in okay?
Why?Quote:
Originally Posted by CFZD
Quote:
Originally Posted by lf156
Yeh... time will come!
OP, The guys that you hang out are simply shallow and immature. I know plenty of guys that prefer virgins to non-virgins.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CFZD
I'm one of those guys who prefer virgins xD
No... it be stupid.. the only ones that will are the ones that only want sex... if the person rrlly values u and cares about u and wants to be wit u for ever will wait for the right moment.. and not pressure u to do something u don't want
Oh... I've never met any guys like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by CFZD
To OP -
Don't feel bad or weird about this. I'm still a virgin in my 20s (although slightly younger, 22), mostly for similar reasons to you that I want to wait until I'm in a really serious relationship to "go all the way." Plus, while I'm not super religious, I live in the most weird, crazy religious place there is (Utah), where people are getting married at 18 and 19 and there really is no sex in college [seriously - I know people that have gotten engaged after 3 weeks of dating].
Don't feel weird, don't let your friends make you feel weird or awkward or unusual. It seems to me, if the guy thinks this is weird and runs, he wasn't worth it to begin with. If the guy really loves you, he'll be fine with it (heck, he may even like the fact that you waited just for him).
But don't worry, you're not alone :)
OP, believe in yourself.
Don't let others get to your head.
If being a virgin turns a guy off or turns him on. Dump the guy. Love should be a lifelong commitment based on deeper things. Like respect and common beliefs and personal goals. Look for these traits in a mate and if the subject should come up it should be treated as one of many aspects of your relationship that should be treated with a discussion about how to get through it with sensitivity. If not you have to send your intended to a psychologist to deal with his fixation.
It is not weird at all... you just haven't found the right person. Sex is an intimate thing and you can't just do it with anybody just because you feel you are too old to be a virgin ( which some girls do ). Age is just a number do not worry about it at all. Oh and in fact a lot of guys like virgin girls ;) they like to be the first one to pop your cherry lol so you got pluses there from a lot of guysQuote:
Originally Posted by lf156
Actually as someone who has made some mistakes in his life, I commend anyone who decides to wait until marriage regardless of the age. In my eyes, that is a real positive for you and I appreciate the fact you respect yourself.
Yes I think it's weird that in 27 years of life you have not been sexually stimulated and confident enough to lose your virginity. I'm a girl and I wouldn't date a 27 year old virgin and I wouldn't expect a man to want to date me as a 27 year old virgin.
Being that old and still being a virgin to me sounds like a flaw in you ability to express you sexuality.
I don't know what would be wrong with being a virgin.. In fact, I think that makes a woman extra special because that means she wants to wait for the right person.
And hey, I'm a 29 year old guy and I'm a virgin.. I don't know why it should be a problem.
I think sex is something everyone is ready for at different times in their lives. I'm not a virgin, but I was until 21... up until that point I just wasn't ready. When the time is right, you'll be ready to make that decision. I'm not a guy, so I don't know what they think about it. But I didn't tell the guy I was dating that I was virgin when I lost it. Overall, I was happy w/my decision to do that. No regrets... I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, and just wanted to get it over with. I don't think there is anything wrong with being a virgin, but I can understand why some people might think it is strange.
I'm not sure I can see why some people would think it is strange to be a virgin past a certain age. Some people are just waiting for the right person; other people may be a little shy; and for other people, it's just not a priority. In a way, I think having had sex or not is similar to having a nice big house with a pool out back - That's important to some people, and it's not so important to other people. Besides, there's much more to life than having sex. I don't see why there should be a stigma about being a virgin.
You should be proud. Nowadays, woman who remain a virgin over 27 is considered a precious commodity.
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