What do you mean don't step in too deep?what do you mean you don't trust him?what about his motives should I doubt
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What do you mean don't step in too deep?what do you mean you don't trust him?what about his motives should I doubt
Sorry, he is just not forthcoming with his feelings, and I think until he is, you should be cautious, because I would hate to see you hurt. I also think you care more than he does, and he knows this, so why not tell you, how he feels? I would, and have always done so. That's one reason why I can't really trust him, as I think he likes your attention, but is not returning it the way you are. Another reason, just me being a parent, being on restrictions by his parents so much is sort of a red flag, and know for sure there may be something about that that he isn't telling. What kind of friends does he hang with? My point is what kind of guy shows physical attention to a female, but she dooesn't know if they have a relationship or not?? If that makes sense. What do you think?? Am I way off?
Its been so long since I've last posted and I apologize. Seems things changed and things improved since I last opened this site, many new questions rose as well.
The biggest stepback in your story Prettybrowneyes is that when you asked him to hang out together he didn't. I don't know about you but I am the kind of person who doesn't like to ask he same question twice.
He may not be as sweet as he seems just as Talaniman expects, but he may also have strict parents.
He may think of you a close friend and hugs you, but he also may think you are just some girl he can melt away with a hug.
Now lets talk about each point. These days there aren't many strict parents, most parents are clueless as to what their children are doing. Do you know why he is getting grounded so much? This time its about math, but what about all the other times? I don't think they'll ground him from the first time, so I think you have to figure out what he's been doing to get himself into this much trouble with his parents. So I may be getting back to Talaniman's point.
Personally, now that he has regected your invitation whether it was literally or not. I said before that since you asked him the first time don't ask him anoher time. I don't know if Im too late but I don't thin its very wise to send him a Valentine's day card. Lets see what he does. Don't be too obvious, don't let him know you like him. Let him be dying to know whether you like him or not, not the other way around.
I hope I didn't cause you too much confusion.
Goodluck
He knows that I like him,I thought we had established that,but yea he's known for awhile.I haven't asked him to hang out that much,its only been like twice.when he was on punishment,it was because his parents caught him downloading music.I mean id think he's a complete angel but he's not a bad guy either.I don't think he's using me or sending me mixed signals or anything because he wouldve said something by now.cuz there was this girl who liked him and she got mad at him because he said she thought he liked her and he said he doesn't.yesterday I didn't send him a valentines day card.. I sent him a bundle of love thing,because our school does this thing called lovefest where you can send your friends and significant others stuff.the bundle of love ending up coming with a teddy bear.yesterday I saw him walking in the hall with the bear sitting on his shoulder and he said the bear was "our son."
My hope is your enjoying yourself, but being smart, and not get to carried away with these intense feeling. Your supposed to be happy, and enjoy the experience. Can you imagine what I put my own daughter through at your age?? LOL, Dads can't help it, so forgive me if I sound to strict, and worrisome about this fellow.
Thanks for your concern,parents have every rite to be that way I think. I mean I am enjoying myself but at times I get confused about him.I want to know where we stand now,because we're better friends now then when he first found out I liked him and he also said he didn't like anyone then,but I don't know if anything has changed.one of my bestfriends thinks that I should ask him if he likes me now because she doesn't want him to play me by flirting w me and stuff and by not asking me out yet.I mean I honestly want to know but at the same time I don't necessarily want to be the one to ask him because I Don't want to get hurt,u know.so what should I do?because as I've said before,I am shy person, so any ideas?also do guys usually take forever to ask someone out or no?
Most guys are as scared, and shy as you are. We just don't like to show it.
So do u think that's what he's doing?
I honestly don't know, I know only what you tell me, but if you weren't so shy, you would ask him. (my wife told me to tell you that) so maybe its time to overcome the shyness, and ask him what's up?? We can go crazy assuming, guessing, and wondering about the feelings of others, or we could just ask what's on our minds, and know for sure how they feel. I know for a fact, fear prevents us from many things we need to do, and it takes courage to overcome it. My wife also says, you will feel so much better overcoming your shyness, and I believe her, so should you.
That was very deep and insightful.thanks.I will take that into consideration.I agree with your wife.. u married a smart woman lol
OK so today my day wasn't too good.first I found out that this guy I've been talking about only likes me as a friend and then I ended up failing my driver license test.so what am supposed to do now?I mean I can't just stop liking him rite off the bat.. I mean I do still like him, but you can't make someone like u.. they have to in their own time.
Sorry it didn't work the way you wanted, but now you know where you stand and can focus on other things, such as passing the driving class, and MATH! Don't sress over him as there will be others to take your attentions. Just make the adjustments. Good luck and let us know how things turn out. The wife says, something better will come along, so don't waste a lot of time getting over this guy, and she sends hugs.
Yea at least now I know where I stand... but I hope that doesn't ruin our friendship.. because today we didn't talk at all.but anyway... thanks and tell your wife I said thanks too.
Go up to him and say if you like me tell me. If you don't stop teasing me.
I have been there before and it hurts worse than him not liking you trust me.
My friend asked him and he said he only liked me as a friend.. but now since then we haven't talked.. idk why but we haven't.. idk.. I don't get it.
Don't let it bother you, as he may be a little embarrassed to know how you feel. Give it some time, and let the emotional dust settle.
Be embarrassed how... why would be embarrassed
Because he is a young guy, that has it brought to his attention, that someone likes him, and he doesn't feel the same way, for all the hugs and stuff. So its natural he back off, and avoid you. I would, and have done the same at his age. He is the one to answer for his actions though, as any one else, me included can only speculate and assume, and be 100% wrong. OUCH!!
Yea I get what your saying.actually.. yesterday.. we did talk and stuff.. so I guess us not talking was a coincidence and because of Monday
Now I am curious, and NOSEY, what did you talk about??
He first spoke to me when I was walking to the library and when he was with a teacher.then I was in the lunch line with my best friend and she called him over and he hugged us and then got in line with us.then we started talking about how he should stand behind us and be our bodygaurd because there was this big scary kid behind us.then my best friend was saying how I wanted to get with that kid and my crush.lets call him "sam" was like you want me to hook you up and I was no no no and then he went back and started talking to him and I was like "sam" if you do that I will never talk to you,but he ended up talking to the kid about joining the football team next year.then he asked us if we were going to some game last night and we both said no.then he showed us this self-defense move,that's always a wrestling move.. idk what it was.then it was turn to get my lunch and I was saying what I wanted on my wrap and he was like saying stuff out loud as if I was saying that's what I wanted on it and then I got out of the line.
OK so remember I said we hadn't been talking or anything since last Monday when my friend asked him if he liked me and he said he only liked me as a friend. Well what I don't get is,if he didn't,then why he was avoiding contact w me or whatever you want to call it by not talking to me or hugging me or anything.then the other other day we were walking right beside each other and none of us said anything,then I finally said "hey,how are u?" then he said he was doing fine, but then after that it was weird,because for like the first time we didn't have anything to say and it was kind of awkard.then yesterday,I was walking out of my class and he was walking down to his class and he hugged me, and he was like my be that was a bad hug and I was like yea it was.then later during class,I looked up at the door and he was standing in the doorway and then he came in and he walked in and came over to where I was sitting and put one arm around my neck, and he "claimed" he was looking for "his book." then he searched around a little bit.. then left.idk.. I find his behavior weird.. its hard to read.I guess that's his way of showing he wants thing to be cool.. but like I said I don't really know...
Maybe for all his confidence outside, it may be a different story inside.
Wait,what are u talking about... u lost me lol
Sorry, but guys put up walls to hide things from everyone else, and this is actually a form of protection from being hurt, or humiliated, not saying this is the case, but its likely. Young guys, like young girls are inexperienced, and they may hide that fact from others. Does that make sense?
Hide what... how they truly feel?so your saying that he's hiding the fact that's he's inexperienced?ineperienced with what?
Tell him you don't talk to him anymore cause you are getting nice attention from him now so you must be doing something right and go with the flow basically.Quote:
Originally Posted by PrttyBrownEyez21
Thanks but that's an old post.. that was my first one... its always the first one when it goes to a new page
Well how's it going then? IF he is still being unpredictable I would just let it go.
People reply to old buried posts that do bring them to the top and I rarely think to check the date.
I mean I don't know.recently.. like last week recently.. my best friend asked him what he thought of me or whatever and he said he only liked me as a friend.that kind of threw me off because I had gotten the impression that he mightve by all the things he did.then for a few days after that,we didn't talk at all.. I mean we saw each other we just didn't speak.then finally we did.but I just get it.. why would he have been avoiding me.then yesterday.. he actually hugged me for the 1st time since that day my friend asked him and then during last block he came in my room "lookin for his book" or so he said.as soon as he came in the room,he came straight over to where I was and put his arm like around my neck and started looking around for his book.
He is most likely *avoiding* you because he only wants to be friends and feels he has to back off because he doesn't want you getting the wrong impression of anything more than just that and/ or he may feel he is starting to like you more than he wants to allow himself to.
Be friends and go with the flow and don't expect much more.
I wish I knew which one of those were the reason why.I mean I am trying to go with the flow.. but its hard.. because I do still like him..
You might have to come right out when you have his attention and time
Ask him Don't use the word us or anything that would make him feel uncomfortable
But ask what do you think of our friendship, how do you feel things are going, how do you want them to go?
Tell him you are happy with however he feels but you feel you would like to be on the same page on things.
That sounds like a good plan.. only problem is... is that I'm really shy.. especially when it comes to stuff like that
Since you are shy maybe try finding a humorous friendship card that says your appreciation of his friendship in a way that he will laugh, nothing serious, but get the message that you do appreciate him
I think Nohelp4u, has a great idea, since your shy, see this as a friendship, and just talk as friends, with no expectations. Many guys will tell a girls' friends one thing, but feel another way. Go slow, and be friends. It will allow you to be comfortable around him, and then you can develop talking, with no pressure, because of your feelings. One question though, is he the type to hug a lot, or put his arm around others? Just curious as to the basis for your own feelings.
Yea I mean I think I can handle being his friend for right now... and then go from there.but where I should I draw the line though.to go along to what you were asking... he does hug other people yea.. but no he doesn't put his arms around a lot of people
Drawing the line?
I would say if he tries to get into a situation you feel uncomfortable with like excessive kisses or seeming like he is putting an unquestionable amount of 'romantic' feelings into a hug
Then pull away and say something about that not feeling like friendship only. Then that leaves it open for him to say if he is ready for more than friends and you can discuss where he wants to go from there.
When I said drawing the line... I meant where should I draw the line by how I act around him
Just wanting to know if his outward show of affection is what draws you to him. Be friends, and the line you draw, will depend on how you feel, just never cross your own lines. Friends don't just make out, unless they have agreed to be more than friends, that may have been blunt, but you both can work on where to draw the line on this friendship, and as Nohelp4u says, only do what your comfortable with. Back in the day when I was your age I found that it got girls interested even more when I put my arms around them or touched there hand or arms while we spoke or laughed, and that's why I was asking. He may have found that you react the same way, as I found out. Don't panick, we lads are learning, just as you females are.
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