Wake up and grow up.

I doubt from your other posts that there is any girl that has the hots for you.

You're 30, live at home with your parents and spend most of your time on the internet.

Have you told your 'disappointing' pen pal that?

If you are really 30, live at home and spend most of your time on the internet, you need to grow up and get real. Sorry, but that's disgusting. If you continue in this way, don't expect to find a woman who will seriously want to settle down with you, it won't happen. Sorry to be so harsh, but honestly...

Let's see, you are 30, still living at home, and hurt your HAND and your TESTICLES at the same time, with a self described "menial" job,where women "laugh at you", a rat in your car... I think you should jump at ALL offers of interest.

I'm sorry for being so harsh, but when you throw some shallow as hell question like this one out there, you should have a slap in the face of what it is that YOU have to offer.

The most beautiful people in the world are the ones that wouldn't care what one's physical appearance looks like.

Go rent the movie "Shallow Hal". Enlighten yourself.

Go find out how to love yourself, and do things to help others in need.

How do you know she isn't asking her friends across the globe, if she could continue to write to someone like you? If you enjoy having correspondence with this girl, then you should continue to do so. Regardless of how she measures up to your impossible standards.

Good luck on all the rest.

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Originally Posted by jmjoseph

Let's see, you are 30, still living at home, and hurt your HAND and your TESTICLES at the same time, with a self described "menial" job,where women "laugh at you", a rat in your car...... I think you should jump at ALL offers of interest.

I'm sorry for being so harsh, but when you throw some shallow as hell question like this one out there, you should have a slap in the face of what it is that YOU have to offer.

The most beautiful people in the world are the ones that wouldn't care what one's physical appearance looks like.

Go rent the movie "Shallow Hal". Enlighten yourself.

Go find out how to love yourself, and do things to help others in need.

How do you know she isn't asking her friends across the globe, if she could continue to write to someone like you? If you enjoy having correspondence with this girl, then you should continue to do so. Regardless of how she measures up to your impossible standards.

Good luck on all the rest.

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I forgot about the testicles post - it's all so absurd that I'm thinking he might be a troll!

I think the real answer to your questions, all of them, is to get out on your own, so you can learn about the real world. Nothing like experiences, good or bad, to make you a real man, who knows how to handle himself. You can't do that at home. Not at 30.

I've been thinking this ever since I was in College. And also now that I'm at a company.

Most people in COllege were from other cities. They were just in my city for college.
And at work now, most people are from out of town, they just come to work here.

So if I had been able to make a girlfriend in college( which I did't) we would have ended up with a long distance relationship cause she's not from here, she would eventually leave.

Also, even the ones who were from my city, most college students always plan to move away from their town after they graduate.

And at work, if I were to find a girlfriend there.. most likekly she would be from out of town.
Only like 3 girls are from this city.

HOw do people find gf's who live in the same city anymore.
It seem hard to do.

Only three women in your entire city? Have you tried classes or events through the community center? Public places like the grocery store, coffee shops, or parks (although, you should be careful how you approach women in these settings. Be careful not to come off as a creep.) you could also try internet dating, and narrow it down to women in your city. Basically, you've just got to get out there and meet people.

You live in Chicago, you could also try speed dating.. lol. But if you honestly feel for the girl that's leaving, try a long distance relationship, lol. I'm currently in one right now, my boyfriend is in a different state for college, and I am just out of my senior year of HS, he's a year older, lol. He left around our 6 month, and we've been together a year and two weeks.. lol. It's a possible situationnn, aslong as you're willing.. lol. But like said above, get out there.. THERE'S OTHER FISH IN THE SEA! Lol. Especailly in Chicago, lol. BIG townnn, lol. Go fishing, lol. :3

OP, I like how you generalize women based on their cultures they are coming from!

Answer me what would an Asian woman who lived in Asia, US, Brazil, Singapore and Sweden likes to date? Complicated, right? LOL

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Originally Posted by Gemini54

I forgot about the testicles post - it's all so absurd that I'm thinking he might be a troll!

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In this case it might be a troll or it might be something more along the lines of a psychological issue. I've refrained from answering these posts because I think it's the latter.

You find women in your city by going where the women are... hint: it's not at home in front of your computer. You need to get out and socialize. Also, there is nothing wrong with a long-distance relationship. Remember that absence makes two hearts grow fonder. Distance also allows you both time to connect emotionally instead of physically. If you're going to "fall in love" or find "the one" you want to make sure that even if you couldn't SEE, HEAR, or TOUCH, her you would still love her... Long distance is a good way to confirm your love for someone.

I've used Dating websites before but it seems most women don't like my picture. Also, they seem to want guys who have a great career and life. I'm just a shy guy with a simple not so great job.

In the dating sites I've been to there's a feature where you can IM people online. Well, I always got ignored.

I'm 30 but even if we didn't see each other for along time, I would be willing to wait and promise her that I would commit to her. Well, to me, seems that dating sites are filled with beautiful people( or liars who post pictures of other people) looking for similarly beautiful or successful or outgoing people.

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Originally Posted by cozoDOP2

I've used Dating websites before but it seems most women don't like my picture.

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I've looked at guy's photos and bios before on sites to "scope out the competition." Most reek of no effort and are poorly written. If you don't like your photo, get one taken professionally and dress up. Your profile is your ad for you. Nobody sells anything with little or poor advertising.

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Originally Posted by cozoDOP2

I'm just a shy guy with a simple not so great job.

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Both those things are fixable if you decide they are characteristics that need to be corrected.

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Originally Posted by cozoDOP2

there's a feature where you can IM people online. Well, i always got ignored.

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IM'n is like fishing, you cast a lot and occasionallly something will bite. It helps if your message sets you apart from the hundreds or thousands of messages the women on these sites get from every horndog on the planet.

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Originally Posted by cozoDOP2

I'm 30 but even if we didn't see eachother for along time, i would be willing to wait and promise her that i would commit to her.

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Translation: I'm desperate. Let's seal the deal. Now. Pretty please?

If you're an over-eager-no-questions-asked-sure-bet women will be feeling zippo for you. A puppy at the pet store has more intrigue.

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Originally Posted by cozoDOP2

Well, to me, seems that dating sites are filled with beautiful people...looking for similarly beautiful or successful or outgoing people.

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Yep, all the "ugly losers" give up and remove their profiles due to their "I can't" mentality.

Next why would you want to "wait" and how can you "commit" fully to someone you are not having a real relationship with. Online is nice if they don't turn out to be another guy, or have lied to you.

There are plenty of dating sites that offer dating in your own area. Yahoo, craigs list, eharminy and others.

I am a old man, over weight, blind in one eye and walk with a cane, guess what, I could find dates online for almost every weekend, often a couple a week. If you are not finding someone to date, there are other issues, a date is just that, no long commitment, no talk of future on first dates, just dating.

Next real life, people at the market, people at stores you shop at, friends you know, there are lots of people to ask out.

Forget trying to find a girl to be with. Just be a fun loving guy, and get a social life. Make friends. Do things you enjoy, or try things you have never done. The girls are everywhere.

When you start concentrating on the obstacles you forget why the finish line is worth getting to, get me?

Go out and a good time. Live life. Stop looking at probabilities and statistics.

Everyone is attracted to fun loving confidence. Boost that, not the woman to man ratio!

Women are beautiful and hot . And many women are attracted to women even if thery're straight. So they could easily choose to get Girlfriends. In fact, most women are BI.

So why do they keep dating guys when they could date and have relations with beautiful sexy women?

It's friendship but it's kind of bordering in BF/GF. I don't know if she likes me but I think she does cause she seems to write to me a lot and we even exchanged gifts. But I don't know if this is something I should continue since it's long distance and I ( and I'm sure she would to) would rather have a girlfriend I could meet in real life. I don't even know if she's my type.

But if I decide to end it and just go back to being FRIEND type of penpals.. she might be hurt if she had been thiking of our future.

HOw can I end it without being rude?

I'm shy and I don't try talking to girls. But I have tried a few times.
For example I've tried to talk to girls in Bus.. or even girls who are walking in the str eet.

I asked a similar question before, and people say it's creepy.

But why do they say that,. if I don't try anything then I won't have anything?
Is it wrong to talk to people in the s treets?

Then if it is.. how and where do I talk to girls?

I'm in my early 30's and have never had a girlfriend before.
No women at work, and I don't really meet any girls anywhere..

Ok how did you 2 become pen pals, and how old are you?
I would say maybe stop exchanging gifts and if she is implying in her letters(or whatever) that she wants to be your girlfriend, tell her your not interested in a long distance relationship. That isn't rude at all, its just telling the truth.