Originally Posted by Sad Soul
First, you’re posting on here because you are not happy. This is not your ideal scenario. So think about who is helping put you in this situation. Who holds the ball here? Is it you? No. Is it the married wife? No.
Is it the man? Yes. He holds the ball. It’s time to take the ball back and tell him you are not playing. Do not listen to all his excuses. Him being with you does not mean he is leaving his children. This is a sure fact, so there must be something else that is preventing him from doing the right thing, and you know what that is? It's that it's easier to do the wrong thing and sometimes it’s easier for a man to be a coward and not own up to the truth. And it's so sad that he pulls his children into this and gives an illusion as to them being his excuse and reason for not coming out and FIXING a wrong. Fixing a wrong is EXACTLY WHAT HE IS NOT DOING. He can fix this by having an honest relationship with you two women (and that means he could either be with his wife or with you). Don't let him trick you into thinking that "oh dear, what about my kids" because there are plenty of divorced parents who still see their children! So please, think with logic and do not listen to his emotional excuses.
Of course after ten months of waiting, and him not leaving his wife, you would wondering when the time is going to come where you two can live happily ever after.
And yes, before you give me a sharp “diagree” as you have with some people that have taken the time to post here or have told you the truth, I have read about how his own wife has cheated in the past, and that the man you are having an affair with has hildren with his wife, who also happens to be pregnant. I read it all.
You mentioned how he tears up when you are in bed together. In looking at your responses to others, you put this detail up to also prove that he is not just in it for the sex, but because he truly loves you.
I realize that he may believe he loves you, but this is when a man truly loves a woman: A man loves a woman when he puts his fears aside, and does the right thing for her. This means he will tell his wife what he’s been doing, and he will stop putting you two on a hold as he continues to decide when it’s safe for him to say something. See, these past ten months have been more about him than it has been about you or his wife. And they certainly have not been about his children because if they were, he would act responsibly and discontinue an unhappy home so that they may live with a healthy father and mother (not two parents that fight and go off and have affairs for ten months at a time!). He would have a divorce, if that's what's needed. But for some reason, he's continuing to play this coward game. What a choice!
He may love you, but he clearly does not love you the way you want to be loved, or the way you should be loved. You know what way you deserve to be loved; you deserve to be loved by a man who is not married. You need someone who is yours. By continuing to wait it out, especially after ten months, you’re actually bringing your worth value down as a woman. A man knows that most women will not put up with this situation...but this guy sees you as someone who will continue being the other woman (even after ten months). Please show him otherwise.
Do you think you can do better than this situation? I should hope so. Don’t listen to his excuses. People with children have divorces all the time and our society is famous for it. If a man feels like doing the right thing, he will. And let me say that there is nothing wrong with you two being together, BUT only when he is not married.
Let me ask you: why should he do the right thing now, by being honest and telling his wife the truth?
He won't do the right thing because he doesn’t see that he needs to. He actually won’t do the right thing because you’re allowing this situation to continue.
The right thing right now is not for him to keep lying to his wife. He needs to tell her the truth, but you are making it easy for him to not have to. I suggest you leave him and see what he does. Move on and make yourself worth more than this type of situation.
