Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Dating (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=374)
-   -   Married man (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=132965)

  • Sep 25, 2007, 10:50 AM
    kaharie96
    Glinda I am so happy now... I feel blessed to have someone NOT beat me down over this... you are a really good person and your encouragement makes me really feel like standing my ground... thank you so much
  • Sep 25, 2007, 10:51 AM
    GlindaofOz
    I'm going to cry. That is so sweet. I'm so happy that you have found a way out of this. Nothing in this world makes me angrier then a man thinking he can control a woman. Sometimes its hard to get out but once yo found your way out you will experience so much more joy in your life.
  • Sep 25, 2007, 07:29 PM
    star3114
    You are in my thoughts sweetie. I know this is tough, but it is an investment in your new future that only you control. Good luck sweetie. Hold your head high!!
  • Sep 25, 2007, 07:47 PM
    americangayboy
    Grow a set and tell him to get lost, for good. Change your phone number if you have to.
  • Sep 25, 2007, 08:31 PM
    kaharie96
    Glinda help!! He called 14 times... he's really upset... crying on my voice mail... he said if I didn't call him by noon tomorrow, he's coming by to make sure everything is all right... I can't see him right now... what am I going to do?
  • Sep 25, 2007, 08:38 PM
    americangayboy
    I know you didn't ask me, but can you text him telling him to stay away?
  • Sep 25, 2007, 08:43 PM
    kaharie96
    I don't want to make any contact with him right now... not that strong yet... he will say something... do something... then I am back in his tramp... he's calling right now!
  • Sep 25, 2007, 08:48 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Well don't answer. You be strong. We're pulling for you.
    Did you conact that hotline?
  • Sep 25, 2007, 08:48 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Turn your phone off.
  • Sep 25, 2007, 09:01 PM
    kaharie96
    He's calling my moms house looking for me... she said he's called three times until she answered... and he's crying to her now... bunch of bull! I am going to call the hotline tomorrow morning... I want him to leave me alone... I want to go on with my life
  • Sep 25, 2007, 09:01 PM
    RustyFairmount
    K,

    You were a victim. But by not doing anything, you are an enabler. You are part of the problem. You have a choice:
    • You can continue to have the affair.
    • You can try to break things off secretly and sweep your affair under the rug.
    • You can tell him to break things off with his wife if he wants to be with you.
    • You can come clean by confessing everything to his wife so everybody can move on.
    Think about it: Which is the un-selfish decision for you??

    BTW: You are not married to this guy, or to his wife. They are married to each other. The quality of their marriage, and their ability to reconcile is their issue. They said vows to each other sealing that deal. Do not allow yourself to feel any guilt if you choose to tell her everything.

    Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

    Rusty
  • Sep 25, 2007, 09:06 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kaharie96
    he's calling my moms house looking for me...she said he's called three times until she answered....and he's crying to her now... bunch of bull!! i am going to call the hotline tomorrow morning...i want him to leave me alone...i want to go on with my life

    Yeah you do that. Leve him alone. Don't let him drag you down anymore. Hang in there.
  • Sep 25, 2007, 09:08 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kaharie96
    he's calling my moms house looking for me...she said he's called three times until she answered....and he's crying to her now... bunch of bull!! i am going to call the hotline tomorrow morning...i want him to leave me alone...i want to go on with my life

    This guy is a creep!! If he is crying now to your mother as well he will stoop to anything to keep his play thing. When he finally gets to see you DON'T believe a word he says , he will undoubtly make outragous promises etc. to try to persuade you to change your mind . Don't LISTEN TO HIM!! Be strong sweety and get yourself out of this mess NOW!!
    We are all here for you. Good Luck!
  • Sep 25, 2007, 09:18 PM
    kaharie96
    Thank you guys soooooo much... I am tired of falling for his lies, for him period... I turned the phone off for the night... I blocked him from sending IM'S... I want nothing to do with... but what about tomorrow when he comes by? He has a key to my place... my brother said he will change my locks this weekend?
  • Sep 25, 2007, 09:25 PM
    friend4u178
    Good girl , Don't FALL FOR THE LIES! Because that's what he'll have coming at you now. He will go to all the desperate measures available believe me. I suggest you don't be there tomorrow , is that a possibility? And yes definitely get those locks changed.
  • Sep 25, 2007, 09:25 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Yes, get your locks changed. O you have a friend you can stay with until your locks are changed?
  • Sep 25, 2007, 09:30 PM
    kaharie96
    Friend... I am running like heck in the morning... thank you... and homegirl I am going to pay my granny a visit for a few days... thanks for the advice guys
  • Sep 25, 2007, 09:36 PM
    friend4u178
    Well done Kaharie , flee for hills. I wish you luck. Keep us posted.
  • Sep 26, 2007, 01:28 PM
    kaharie96
    I saw him guys!! I was picking my daughter up from school... he ran right up to me and grabbed my arm... I was thrown off at first and after my heart stopped racing I told him OFF! Big time... he said he would leave me alone if I had dinner with him tonight... yeah right! He used that one before... he pays my rent every month and helps with my car note every other month... so he said he would still pay up my rent for this year, no strings attached... altho I want to believe him I know I cant... he has a relationship with my daughter and she really loves him... she asked him was he going to take her to see Dora this weekend... he put it on me... now I look like the bad guy... and he knows she is going to bug me until I give in... what should I do?.
  • Sep 26, 2007, 01:31 PM
    GlindaofOz
    DO NOT GIVE IN. He is trying to emotionally blackmail you. Tell your daughter that you know how much she likes John but that he isn't going to be around anymore and that it doesn't mean he doesn't care about her its just something that happened between mommy and him. End of story.

    Good for you in telling him off. I have to say that you will get rid of this man if you don't start taking over the things that he has power over. What's next? See me or I stop paying your rent and you're out on the street? Take over your bills and eliminate his power in this relationship. If you can't afford your place move. If you can't afford the car trade it in for one you can afford.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:32 PM.