Wake up and grow up.
I doubt from your other posts that there is any girl that has the hots for you.
You're 30, live at home with your parents and spend most of your time on the internet.
Have you told your 'disappointing' pen pal that?
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Wake up and grow up.
I doubt from your other posts that there is any girl that has the hots for you.
You're 30, live at home with your parents and spend most of your time on the internet.
Have you told your 'disappointing' pen pal that?
If you are really 30, live at home and spend most of your time on the internet, you need to grow up and get real. Sorry, but that's disgusting. If you continue in this way, don't expect to find a woman who will seriously want to settle down with you, it won't happen. Sorry to be so harsh, but honestly...
Let's see, you are 30, still living at home, and hurt your HAND and your TESTICLES at the same time, with a self described "menial" job,where women "laugh at you", a rat in your car... I think you should jump at ALL offers of interest.
I'm sorry for being so harsh, but when you throw some shallow as hell question like this one out there, you should have a slap in the face of what it is that YOU have to offer.
The most beautiful people in the world are the ones that wouldn't care what one's physical appearance looks like.
Go rent the movie "Shallow Hal". Enlighten yourself.
Go find out how to love yourself, and do things to help others in need.
How do you know she isn't asking her friends across the globe, if she could continue to write to someone like you? If you enjoy having correspondence with this girl, then you should continue to do so. Regardless of how she measures up to your impossible standards.
Good luck on all the rest.
I forgot about the testicles post - it's all so absurd that I'm thinking he might be a troll!Quote:
Originally Posted by jmjoseph
I think the real answer to your questions, all of them, is to get out on your own, so you can learn about the real world. Nothing like experiences, good or bad, to make you a real man, who knows how to handle himself. You can't do that at home. Not at 30.
I've been thinking this ever since I was in College. And also now that I'm at a company.
Most people in COllege were from other cities. They were just in my city for college.
And at work now, most people are from out of town, they just come to work here.
So if I had been able to make a girlfriend in college( which I did't) we would have ended up with a long distance relationship cause she's not from here, she would eventually leave.
Also, even the ones who were from my city, most college students always plan to move away from their town after they graduate.
And at work, if I were to find a girlfriend there.. most likekly she would be from out of town.
Only like 3 girls are from this city.
HOw do people find gf's who live in the same city anymore.
It seem hard to do.
Only three women in your entire city? Have you tried classes or events through the community center? Public places like the grocery store, coffee shops, or parks (although, you should be careful how you approach women in these settings. Be careful not to come off as a creep.) you could also try internet dating, and narrow it down to women in your city. Basically, you've just got to get out there and meet people.
You live in Chicago, you could also try speed dating.. lol. But if you honestly feel for the girl that's leaving, try a long distance relationship, lol. I'm currently in one right now, my boyfriend is in a different state for college, and I am just out of my senior year of HS, he's a year older, lol. He left around our 6 month, and we've been together a year and two weeks.. lol. It's a possible situationnn, aslong as you're willing.. lol. But like said above, get out there.. THERE'S OTHER FISH IN THE SEA! Lol. Especailly in Chicago, lol. BIG townnn, lol. Go fishing, lol. :3
OP, I like how you generalize women based on their cultures they are coming from!
Answer me what would an Asian woman who lived in Asia, US, Brazil, Singapore and Sweden likes to date? Complicated, right? LOL
In this case it might be a troll or it might be something more along the lines of a psychological issue. I've refrained from answering these posts because I think it's the latter.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemini54
You find women in your city by going where the women are... hint: it's not at home in front of your computer. You need to get out and socialize. Also, there is nothing wrong with a long-distance relationship. Remember that absence makes two hearts grow fonder. Distance also allows you both time to connect emotionally instead of physically. If you're going to "fall in love" or find "the one" you want to make sure that even if you couldn't SEE, HEAR, or TOUCH, her you would still love her... Long distance is a good way to confirm your love for someone.
I've used Dating websites before but it seems most women don't like my picture. Also, they seem to want guys who have a great career and life. I'm just a shy guy with a simple not so great job.
In the dating sites I've been to there's a feature where you can IM people online. Well, I always got ignored.
I'm 30 but even if we didn't see each other for along time, I would be willing to wait and promise her that I would commit to her. Well, to me, seems that dating sites are filled with beautiful people( or liars who post pictures of other people) looking for similarly beautiful or successful or outgoing people.
I've looked at guy's photos and bios before on sites to "scope out the competition." Most reek of no effort and are poorly written. If you don't like your photo, get one taken professionally and dress up. Your profile is your ad for you. Nobody sells anything with little or poor advertising.Quote:
Originally Posted by cozoDOP2
Both those things are fixable if you decide they are characteristics that need to be corrected.Quote:
Originally Posted by cozoDOP2
IM'n is like fishing, you cast a lot and occasionallly something will bite. It helps if your message sets you apart from the hundreds or thousands of messages the women on these sites get from every horndog on the planet.Quote:
Originally Posted by cozoDOP2
Translation: I'm desperate. Let's seal the deal. Now. Pretty please?Quote:
Originally Posted by cozoDOP2
If you're an over-eager-no-questions-asked-sure-bet women will be feeling zippo for you. A puppy at the pet store has more intrigue.
Yep, all the "ugly losers" give up and remove their profiles due to their "I can't" mentality.Quote:
Originally Posted by cozoDOP2
Next why would you want to "wait" and how can you "commit" fully to someone you are not having a real relationship with. Online is nice if they don't turn out to be another guy, or have lied to you.
There are plenty of dating sites that offer dating in your own area. Yahoo, craigs list, eharminy and others.
I am a old man, over weight, blind in one eye and walk with a cane, guess what, I could find dates online for almost every weekend, often a couple a week. If you are not finding someone to date, there are other issues, a date is just that, no long commitment, no talk of future on first dates, just dating.
Next real life, people at the market, people at stores you shop at, friends you know, there are lots of people to ask out.
Forget trying to find a girl to be with. Just be a fun loving guy, and get a social life. Make friends. Do things you enjoy, or try things you have never done. The girls are everywhere.
When you start concentrating on the obstacles you forget why the finish line is worth getting to, get me?
Go out and a good time. Live life. Stop looking at probabilities and statistics.
Everyone is attracted to fun loving confidence. Boost that, not the woman to man ratio!
Women are beautiful and hot . And many women are attracted to women even if thery're straight. So they could easily choose to get Girlfriends. In fact, most women are BI.
So why do they keep dating guys when they could date and have relations with beautiful sexy women?
It's friendship but it's kind of bordering in BF/GF. I don't know if she likes me but I think she does cause she seems to write to me a lot and we even exchanged gifts. But I don't know if this is something I should continue since it's long distance and I ( and I'm sure she would to) would rather have a girlfriend I could meet in real life. I don't even know if she's my type.
But if I decide to end it and just go back to being FRIEND type of penpals.. she might be hurt if she had been thiking of our future.
HOw can I end it without being rude?
I'm shy and I don't try talking to girls. But I have tried a few times.
For example I've tried to talk to girls in Bus.. or even girls who are walking in the str eet.
I asked a similar question before, and people say it's creepy.
But why do they say that,. if I don't try anything then I won't have anything?
Is it wrong to talk to people in the s treets?
Then if it is.. how and where do I talk to girls?
I'm in my early 30's and have never had a girlfriend before.
No women at work, and I don't really meet any girls anywhere..
Ok how did you 2 become pen pals, and how old are you?
I would say maybe stop exchanging gifts and if she is implying in her letters(or whatever) that she wants to be your girlfriend, tell her your not interested in a long distance relationship. That isn't rude at all, its just telling the truth.
If some guy started talking to me on the bus or on the street, yes I would find that really creepy!
Try meeting women through your co-workers or through your friends, friends of family etc. Or I suppose you could try a dating site (although I do believe meeting in person is better). And when you talk to women forget your shy just be yourself!
Yep a little more info here would help...
I thought my current boyfriend was a creep at first. He was super shy. But mutual friends set us up and my friends pushed me to get to know him. We've been dating for over a year now. Sometimes friends are the best way to get to know other people.
If it is bordering on g/f b/f but is still a friendship, then why the need to tell her anything, or break up at all.
Be honest with her, and let her know that you're going to be on the computer less, and having a social life more. That would not damage a friendship.
If you are getting direct comments that she is interested in an exclusive relationship with you, then speak up, and tell her that won't happen.
But to lose a friend by guessing isn't being fair to her, or you.
You've had some problems with your impressions of women, judging from your last posts.
I just answered another question of yours earlier about the penpal, and I thought you were much younger than 30.
You have said before that you didn't have success with dating sites, apparently people don't like your picture.
Why not try that again. You seem to be able to put reasonable conversations together, and your penpal has lasted over 1 1/2 years. Perhaps communicating this way will see some actual face to face dates.
Maybe too it is time to take a good hard look at yourself. If by age 30 you haven't had a date, there is probably room for improvement somewhere. Have you talked to any of your male friends for advice?
This like your other posts tend to sound so desperate to me so let me repeat some previous advice to you. No matter what it takes get to be independent and stand on your own, as a 30 year old guy has no real business letting an Internet pen pal situation get out of hand.
Time to be truthful and realistic and tell this pen pal you need to tend to your real life and put some boundaries on this long distance friendship.
To let it go any further without the truth would not be fair or honest.
A lot of lesbians, and bisexual women go back to the supposed "human default sexuality" of being straight, mostly because it gives them more sexual satisfaction. The reason why women like men, isn't exactly a mystery, just ask the women, maybe it's because they are not women, and they are very cute! On top of that, there's the whole subject of reproduction, and the pieces fit.
It's possible for women to chemically create sperm, fertilize themselves, reproduce, and rule the world... I wonder why we're all still just sitting around ;)
Being straight is more acceptable in society. They may like women but they don't want to be a misfit.
Talking to random people in public is a little creepy- not only that, but you're not about to hit it off with a girl on the bus, and be dating her the next day. Go out and socialize in smaller, more private settings- parties and gatherings. Be casual in your conversation- chat with girls you have just met, just like you would chat with guys you have just met... Ask them what their job is, what they do for fun. Don't try to be "impressive" or "win them over."
This is another one of your silly posts... what a ridiculous thing to say.Quote:
In fact, most women are BI.
And, since you don't have any experience with women (being 30, living at home and stalking Japanese girls), I gather you're suddenly the 'expert'?
Where is your evidence that most women are bisexual?
I suspect you may actually be totally misguided regarding how to approach people in general.
Your social skills are clearly lacking - I've said it before, you need to get out and socialize with lots of people and you probably need counselling.
I agree with the above, you need to socialize, and not stalk young Japanese girls. Just from your posts, I can tell that you are a creeper, who has no desire to care for and provide for anyone like a real man. What kind of woman in her right mind is going to marry someone who is living at home with his mom? You need to prove that you are able to care for a family and be a mature adult- which you aren't. Sorry to rain on the parade, but I'm only 19, and I can figure this out... You're 30, honestly. You need a swift kick in the pants.
Wow jaime, glad you said something. I hadn't read his other threads.
Cozo, I don't think the problem is that you're shy. I think that it's, like others have said, your approach is stalkerish! Do you actually understand what it means to be in a relationship? I'm asking this seriously. It's much more than just answering your phone and returning calls and emails.
And there's not generally a conversation if you're going to be friends with someone. Friendships have a way of just happening. It's being more than friends that usually requires a conversation. I've never had to talk with any of my friends, male or female, about "i want us to be friends" unless it was after a major fight and we were making up.
My first thought on this post, is why a 30 yo has never had a girlfriend before. There's more to this than wshat's posted. I agree, you can't meet people at bus stops, etc.
Heck, go to clubs with some buddies. People might be a little more open to talking to you there, and you'll feel more confident if you have guys there to support you.
All your threads were merged, and they show a pattern of inexperience that can only be changed by independent learning.
30 year old shy guys who live at home are not very attractive, and are seldom taken seriously.
Sorry guy, but all your threads point to a need to change something's about yourself, and only through a process of honest self evaluation will you ever identify those changes.
It starts with getting out in the world, making mistakes, and growing, and learning.
There is no substitute for experience. You can't grow without it!!
I've been noticing this a lot. Not just with me, but with many fellow nerds, or even guys who are not nerds.
There's many attractive women around, and I like them. Always, I 'm really attracted to them. But they are never attracted to me
Is there a theory why this happens?
Maybe You're attracted to the wrong kind of women. Here's a thought, get to know them if they let you, and then decide whether you like them or not. Just an FYI, most of us have brains to go with the stuff guys look at. I hope you're not that superficial though. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I still think That's decent food for thought.
Does this have anything to do with the Japanese exchange students you meet at the bus stop?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...es-440587.html
HAHA! I noticed that. I think he just needs to work on his social skills in general.Quote:
Originally Posted by J_9
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