Yeah but she gave me a great birthday on April 7th. Prob the best somebody ever could have. My friends say if she's doing this now, it will just get worse. Like I said this is the worst because I think of her all the time. What if I did it different. If I told her from the get go. Things would be different, I know that for a fact. She told so. What I want to know is how can a girl can't forgive a mistake. I mean I didn't cheat on her, an what she said to me "she doesn't want to cry an always wonder if I'm telling her the truth". How can you get a girl to regain trust in you. I'm ashamed to say that I have been untruthful with a girlfriend in the past but I did regain that persons trust because they forgave me. On Thursday I gave her flowers an a card where I explained why I did what I did, and a lot of it has to do with my fathers cancer. It's bad an his chance for making it thro is not good. My father is the one who said that I should push the move in date back because I might have to take care of my mom. An that's not an excuse why I did what I did. Somebody help me. Somebody tell me how to regain the trust of the woman I love

If things are this crazy and confusing now, I hate to see what happens in 2 months.

Your strangers still, and it doesn't take a genius to know she is pushing to fast, and your only to eager to go along. Not a good sign.

There are enough red flags here to stop you dead in your tracks.

Everybody is right on this page.. there are plenty of red flags going off.. I'm just realizing that, we had an argument on Friday when I picked up my stuff, she has way to many trust issues to deal with, an now that I talk to more of my friends they are saying the same thing, she's nuts an I should run, fast! I haven't spoken too her in 2 days now, an I'm going to try to avoid her... although I do love her, she needs to get her head straight an figure out how to trust me, an not think I'm lying to her every time we talk.. in the end its her loss

Buying a house, and who you bought it from has no bearing on your girlfriend, so I don't know why it would make her so upset. She seems like she wants to know every aspect of your life, even if it has nothing to do with her. She also seems like she'll check up on you, and if anything is not in place, you are in for an emotional rollercoaster ride.

You've met one of her ex's and it appears that he knows what you are going through. Do you love her enough to live with her mood swings, and the fact that she involves her parents?

It sounds like you have a good support group of friends. You need to stick with them to help you through this. You cannot hide who you are from your friends, and they will keep you on track when you are blinded by love.

If she has mood swings mate, she will properly change her mind in an day and miss you again, if you love her just hang in there, but only if you think she loves you back, but do not run into marriage and kids. If you don't think she loves you move on. Hope you get what you want mate. X

I love her so much. I just don't know what to do. I want to just try and talk to her. But I know that's a bad idea. Really I want her back in my life. I went golfing the last two days an my buddys are getting sick of hearing me talk of her. They think she's nuts for doing what she did. An they way she talked of kids an getting married so fast. But I would give anything just to be with her right now. I even went to church an prayed. My first time to go on a Sunday in twenty years. Maybe I'm as crazy as she is. Haha. Well do I sit around an just wait or what should I do??

You moved toooooo fast with this girl. The two of you only been together for a month and the two of you were talking married and you was ready to purpose?

Get over her by not focusing on her. Take it day by day. This girl was no good for you and you could do better. Work on yourself and use this time to hang out with friends. Don't play any sad music or watch any love movies. Ask God for strength to get over her and don't ask that he brings the two of you back together.

It's tough because when you meet that one it just feels so right! Like a soul-mate. I known this girl since 8th grade but we haven't talked in 14 years. I know 3 of her ex boyfriend. They're all s, an I know how she was treated. When you find a person like we connect it hurts. I know this is how she was molded by the exs so I was starting in this relationship behind the eightball l, an any little mistake I did would be pusicuted. The worst part all my friends are married or engaged, so it's tough to talk with friends or hang out with them. So most of the time I'm alone. How can I get her back?

You can't always get want you want so the best thing for you to do is stop focusing on your friends relationship.

Okay they are married and some engaged but you need to realize that is them. Not you!

You feel alone because you don't someone right now and that is a normal feeling. Embrace it because you don't need someone just because.

Your right. But this whole thing is pretty much my fault. I kind of like haven this break yet I want somebody there for me to cuddle with. She has 2 dogs that would jump into bed with us. It was like a happy family. I haven't tried to get ahold her. I'm waiting for her to contact me. That might never happen. I even apologized to her parents. Should I expect a response from them?

No! Why don't you get a dog for yourself? Dogs are a man best friend you know. I have two, a black lab and a pitbull.

She had a chocolate lab an a Kentucky coon hound. I'm thinking about getting a chocolate lab myself. A female. I think I'll go find a good litter of them an find one. You said you can't always get what you want , but if you try sometimes you get what you need.

If she comes back then she does. I love her. But it's the ultimate is what it is

Needs and wants are two separate things. Do I need a lexus or do I just want a lexus? Hmmm

Your confusing the two. Do you need her in your life or do you want her in your life?

I think I need her in my life. She did in that one month straightn some things out for me. Her friends an her just deleted me off there Facebook. They had a sleepover last night. I guarantee I was a topic of conversation. Ughh I do need her in my life. All my other exs where so different. She seems to be the most normal girl I've ever dated. I think my exs molded me as well to have to act like this

I don't think you do. Your just fix on having her in your life.

Sitting around waiting for her to decide if and when she wants to be will do more harm then good.

You can't get someone back when they don't want to be with. You can even waste your money on those crazy ebooks on "how to win to her back" but again it would just be a waste of money.

I can understand your going through a funk spell right now but you need to get out of it. But it starts with you and with you changing your way of thinking.

Those ebooks don't work? A friend of mine said he used one an him an his fiancé are getting married next month. He was in the same situation as me. Molded by his exs he had lied to his girlfriend she dumped him now they're happy. An love each other. Your right though. I do stew on it too much.

Well I haven't talked to my ex in person in 6 days an haven't heard from her since Friday. No contact at all. Do you think she is thinking of me? I'm going crazy now. I just want to try to get ahold of her but I know that might just push her away. I'm going crazy. Now I'm getting depressed

6 days is like 20% of the whole relationship correct?

I think you need to take a peek at the codependency link.

Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

Maybe you can figure out why after one month, you are obsessed. Way too much too soon.

I know but I felt like we where together 6 years. Which was great. I've been reading a lot of stuff online. How to get her back. Using phycology on her an stuff we liked doing together

No contact is not about getting your girlfriend back.

There isn't anything less attractive then an obsessed, clingy and desperate boyfriend.

1 month doesn't ever equal 6 years.

Cry about your loss, but let her go. You need to focus on you.

Umm she was the clingy one. Well we where both. An I'm not desperate. I'm giving her time

Stop giving her time and stop waiting for her to come around. Time and life will only pass you by.

Move on and take it day by day. Each day your getting stronger and hopefully your way of thinking will change.

OK your right.. an I'm, I'm doing stuff for me now. It does feel good, but I also want that feeling of being loved by somebody.. I'm 31, all my friends have there wife's or gfs, so they don't go out to bars an try to meet woman, I so skeptic on meeting woman online, though I did meet my current ex on Facebook, but I did know her from high school.. well I justed talked to one of her exs.. he said he could tell me storys about her, I don't know if that's jealousy or not, he's currently married so I don't know if he's got an axe to grind or what.. but in anycase he talks to her parents almost everyday. He's there mailman.. an like me now that I just lost my job at the post office.. ughh got more time to think about things... I'm wondering if I even want her back now, but that stuff he said about her is when she was young in her early 20s... stuff just gets more confusing everyday

By the way that's a picture of me, I cut her out of it haha

You are making things confusing, they really aren't.

Is this your first real relationship?

I can tell you when you are planning a lifetime with someone when you can't make it past one month, there isn't much hope for a lifetime. You want to feel like this for the rest of your life?

Time for you.

Oh I understand that, an no this is about my 20th, I've dated girls that cheated on me, girls that did drugs behind my back.. normal girls crazy girls.. but everyone had there own little thing about them.. this one was different, there was that connection, like true love at first sight... I mean the first date I was like I could marry this one, she does have some problems with her hormons, an she does get bad migranes, where she does have to give herself a shot when it gets bad.. well you guys are mostly right.. I do have to try an stop thinking of her.. but to tell you the truth most guys do think of there exs a lot

I know plenty of great guys, that are great on the surface, it isn't until you see them drink, see their behaviors that happen when you really know someone.

One month is long enough for infatution and caring, but it is not long enough to know someone. You are hanging on too tight.

You don't look 31 which is a good thing.

I can understand you wanting to have someone in your life especially when everyone around you have someone. But know there is someone out there for everyone and when your looking for someone your never find her but when you aren't looking for her you will find her. It sounds weird but it is true.

So relax and take it one day at time.

Thank you for the complimant ;) Ive heard that to. My dad just told me that. I'm going to do my best not to think of her. Going to not an look at my phone every 5 minutes to see if she txtd me. ( we never in one month talked on the phone weird ) but will avoid to contact her too

That is your best option and the right thing to do.

What do I do if she contacts me? I mean I do want her back. But don't want this to happen again.

Well my dumbass did a drive by at her house. An she already has somebody else stayn over. So I guess everybody was right. Sorry to waste all your guys time. Ughhh. Can anything ever go right for me?

Your dumpa$$ better not drive by her house anymore. No more torturing yourself over her. No more worrying about and when she is going give you that magican call and tell you everything you want to hear.

You did something stupid. Now learn from it and move on. Time to start healing yourself. Listen to the songs in my signature. Watch some comedy. Do you play video games? Play some because I play them to keep my mind off things. Don't beat yourself up because your friends have someone because one day your going find someone for you but you won't find her if your still stuck over your ex.

Ok. I'm going to pull out the tried and true "big guns."

You ready?

Remember in the movie Home Alone, where Kevin McAllister was horribly afraid of the robbers? There's one point where he realized that it was HIS house and that HE was going to defend it. You following me?

Well, he decided that he was done being scared, ran outside and yelled, "I'M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE! You hear me?? I said, I"M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE!"

It was a conscious choice of a little boy to defend his home against attackers.

YOU MUST MAKE THIS CHOICE.

You MUST decide that you're done with this, that you're going to defend YOUR heart against attack, and you're GOING to move on. NOTHING else will work.

It's YOUR decision.

Say with Kevin, "I'm not afraid anymore!"

Take back your life, man.

I am. I woke up today feeling used. Played "give you he'll". I know realize that it wasn't meant to be. She used me but I'm better than giving her another minute of my life. Shell get what she deserves. An I hope that it comes soon to realize it was her loss. I'm done with her. Every thought of her is bad

I am glad to hear that you realize what you realize. Again take it day by day and once you get over her you going say I can't believe I was stuck on her. Believe me I have been there.

I know now that it's was way to fast, an now I can move on. I'm at the poker room at my local casino. They're like my support group. Already have a cute girl asking me if I want to go get a coffee or something. Just to talk. I think I should. What do you guys think? To soon?

I am thinking I want to be there playing... oh wait, that isn't what you asked. People are always nice to talk to.

Just remember to take your time, there is not a rush when you are looking for greatness. Plus, if she is sitting at the poker table with you then how can you go wrong ;) Nothing better than a lady that can play!

Yeah. This is my new job. I'm a semi pro poker player. She is a novice an is asking for me to teach her. I think I might do it's nice to have something in common an she seems genuanlly interested. I'm not going to rush this time. An I can only hope the ex comes crawling back. That's when I will just ignore her. Send her packing like the little rat she is! You people are great an helpful! I will never forget this, an how much you helped. I will always post on this every day to let you know my situation! For real I've never meet a better group of people that care for a total stranger. An can take me in like I'm one of them.