What do you think about the whole "Spread the wealth around" and "Plumber Joe" thing? I think its getting too old... He should have come up with something new. And get Schwarzenegger to speak for him? Ha-ha...
|
What do you think about the whole "Spread the wealth around" and "Plumber Joe" thing? I think its getting too old... He should have come up with something new. And get Schwarzenegger to speak for him? Ha-ha...
Then what was your point?Quote:
Yeah, I guess its kind of patriotic
McCain is "he"?Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
Yeah.
Throughout this campaign, the media have jumped on every word said and have turned some into sound bites while taking them out of context. McCain could have made a huge difference in how his campaign was run had he stayed on the issues instead of engaging in mudslinging in negative ads.
Back to topic...
I think you should try to work on your social skills a bit more. Try to communicate better, and even try to make more friends.
It sounds like bullies have gone way too far with what they do. If you have black eyes, and broken bones, I think you seriously need to get someone who can help you. The authorities, anybody.
As for you clothing...
If what you wear is "you" then stay with it. Just remember that stereotypes exist, as much as we may hate it, they do.
We WERE on topic, working on social skills.Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsg
Okay...Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything.
I just wanted a sort of 'segway' to introduce what I was saying. It was just a way of referring to the orignal post.
Again, sorry
I just didn't want you to think it had turned into a political post. He started blasting Palin and throwing out insults and then came around to being able to actually discuss a topic. I hope he would do that in real life, to discuss instead of slam.Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsg
segway = motorized two-wheeled vehicle
segue (pronounced like segway) = verbal bridge
That is a really good strategy, and backs up why you are an expert on this forum :).Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
It really is impressive. Looks like the OP has already made a lot of progress in his social skills.
And thank you for the spelling correction. Never knew that...
Never mind
Today I met her at the mall. I said hi and we talked for a few minutes... was that the right way to act?
I got some make-up to cover up my black eyes, so now I look "like a prize" Also, I got more of these POLO shirts. :)
Were you a good listener? Did you make good eye contact? Did you smile charmingly? Sounds good!
Oh yeah, I listened good and made eye contact... I do not know if I smiled but probably did... I know that she smiled... So I probably must did too... Is there a way to tell?
If she talks to you again and seems happy to do so, you must have smiled.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
Whew... GOOD. It is good, right?
You know the key is to believe in yourself and love yourself, that way you won't fear rejection and you will have the confidence and the directness to go after what you want, and if you don't get it first try you will either have the persistence to continue to pursue it or move on without damaging your self-esteem because you are good with yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
There are plenty of girls out there who would simple love for a guy to show them attention, to like them and love them. My advice is simply to be direct, and if they don't accept your overtures then move on, if you believe in yourself that you are the prize and you will simply find someone who finally sees you as that, and you her.
The more you believe in yourself and the more confidence (not cockiness) you exude, the more attractive you will seem, and it won't matter what you wear. Women/girls love confidence in a man, they find it attractive and sexy more than anything you might wear. Women aren't as shallow as men, so stop judging yourself like a guy might judge a girl.
Be kind and confident, work on yourself and there will be little or no effort in getting girls no matter what you are wearing, you will attract girls like a magnet.
Good luck to you.
Well what I've found with girls is every girl loves a guy that m,akes her feel good, if you like this girl talk to her, your family life isn't important in this issue (not dismmising it) be yourslef play to your strengths, its hard but girls really aren't as obsessed with appearance as we think, if you make a girl feel good be it through help or juts a friend when she needs it, she will fall for you:)
They ought to find out about my rotten family sooner or later... they could think it influences me, they could think I'm like my mother... could they?
I had shame growing up, my mother was an Alcoholic. However, most girls don't care about the family so long as you treat them right, as long as their emotional needs are being met; your family won't matter that much.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
More than anything, it's your judgement or feelings about your family that will block you; it's you, not her that will have to get over your family thing. The girl will
Like you for you, not your family. Ask yourself, if you found a girl and you hit it off, if her family was screwed up, would it matter to you that much, probably not, and the same goes for a girl.
So get out of the way of yourself. Your family shouldn't define your own self-worth, you need to grow you own positive self-image independent of your family. Difficult I know because as children our family is what help defines us, but now that you are becoming an adult it's time to create an independent view of yourself, etc.
Do you act like your mother or other members of your family? I don't know them, but I haven't gotten the impression that you do.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
Now, stop kicking yourself. Tell me what I would like about you.
That's why you get bullied. You kick yourself, so others see that and say, "Heck, I'll kick you too." You must throw out tremendous signals that you are an underdog (because of what you call your "rotten family"?) and not worthy of any respect.
So, help me here. How can you project an image that's not an underdog, but one that is full of confidence and demanding of respect?
How can you get bullies to be on your side and even to become friends?
Furthermore, you could change your perception of your family problems. Has it occurred to you that your mother might have had a terrible childhood, or abuse from men in her life, or simply made the wrong choices. Rather than thinking that she's screwed up, you could have some compassion for her; and find the good in her, the way she has supported you in spite of her troubles, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
In everyone's life you come out of childhood and somewhere along the line you realise your parents are human, and make mistakes, and it's disappointing, even shameful in some instances, but they are doing the best they can with what they've got. When you get older and have responsibilities, some you will take care of, some you won't, and you won't be perfect either.
Time to start framing your mother as something different, someone worthy of your love and compassion despite her problems.
1st of all you don't need to dress all hip hop to be cool, just an average t-shirt is good
And don't shoot too high shoot for a nice girl
Not the hottest girl and just make the most out of life and be yourself girls can sense that and will probably go for it
I am not like other members of my family... They are just so wrong. Im strongly against them (not my father) and I haven't seen people from my mothers side in like two years...
I have very little self-respect, as my mother was really quite mean... And I do not really know you, so I cannot say what you would like about me... Im a good journalist, vice-editor of our school paper, successful... Without black eyes, broken bones etc. I'm quite good looking. I can swim 2 lenghts in less then 40 seconds, so I´m quite "sporty", I always keep neat and tidy, Normally I am not rude, when I bump into my mother and she says something, I try to stay calm and say "have we met?", I´m a good golf-player... I have ambitions, I want to go to Yale like my father did... I am good at public speeches... Well that's probably it...
Sorry for the type-os... I have only 12 fingers...
My mother left me, saying that i´m the bad one. She never supported me, had fights with my father over me, she said i destroyed her life and that i don´t deserve ro live. My father said, that she has to go, so she went. When i bump into her, she tries to hurt me again. She is wrong. Its not my fault or anybodys else. Its her. Not me... and just thinking of her makes me cry, so mean that woman was.Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasParent
So you think I should "turn an underdog into a victor?" like those Phillies did?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Wow... you have so much going for you. As for your lack of self-respect it's time to change the recording in your head. Each time you think or feel in a way that is self-damaging reject it and say no; and replace it with an affirmation.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
Think of it this way, if you keep telling yourself the same lies over and over because you are comfortable being a victim and your receive some of your emotional needs by presenting yourself this way; but it just reaffirms all the negative things you keep telling yourself and it snowballs by it's repetition into this idenitity that is self-defeating.
The trick is to replace this negative self-talk or feeling with positive self-talk and affirmations; consciously fighting the negative and replacing with positive, even if you don't believe the positive as first. Over time with repetition the positive affirmation will transform you into someone who believes in himself, and as a result you will naturally form better relationships, etc. So replace the snowball of negativity that just keeps getting bigger with a snowball of positive which will help you change your identity and then those girls you are seeking will naturally be attracted to you.
It all starts with changing the recording inside yourself. I know you can do it, you are a person of accomplishment.
Of course I do! And you have a lot of pluses, it sounds like.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
Your mom is a product of her own upbringing and is taking it out on you (and others). She apparently hasn't met us yet here on AskMeHelpDesk! Do you want to go down that same road into destruction and screwing up other people's lives? Of course not! Break the cycle!
So what can you do to be a winner? (TexasParent gave you some great ideas!)
What exactly are you referring to?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Oh, your poor mother; the pain that must be inside her. I would guess that your mother tries to hurt you to keep you at a distance because she has her own demons. When we lash out, it's because we don't want people to be to close, to know the real us because we are ashamed. Believe me, your mother judges herself more harshly than anyone on this earth, otherwise she wouldn't have the hate she has inside. This comes from her own self-loathing whether she realizes it or not. When we blame other, like she blames you, it's because emotionally she can't accept her responsibility, she believes it would crush her, she can't handle it; so she pushes you away, blames you, etc. rather than taking responsibility herself.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
She is a very emotionally sick woman and I have great sympathy for her, but your father was right, she can't be a part of your life, she is toxic, she is sick; and only she can decide to seek help.
I know you feel cheated of your mothers love which was likely never shown; but love comes in abundance if we give it. Try having empathy for your mother, think of her as a small child that has been hurt and tries to hurt back at anything and everything, etc.
However it is what it is, and all adults at some point need to start loving themselves. Can you grieve the lack of your mothers love, of course; but you need to go through the entire grieving process and when you come out the other end, you will find gratitude in something about the entire experience. There will be anger and I encourage you to express it in writing or out loud against you mother, but not directly to her unless you absolutely need to in order to find closure.
Anyway, start loving yourself I know you can do it; and once you love yourself, then more and more people will start loving you.
I cannot get over her... God bless her for not killing me when I was a baby, but still... Is it normal to hate your own mother? I really hate her, loathe her... I have these dreams about throwing darts at here picture... I wish I could get over her, forget she ever existed... I wonder what's it going to be like when Ill have kids... Will I be able to tell them the truth or just say she's dead? I know its too early for these thoughts but I cannot stop, everywhere I go I have to think of her... If I get a scholarship Im going to Connecticut, if I go will she move there too? Will she be following me around for the rest of her life? Is what she is doing illegal? Do I have to sue her or is it enough just to sit and speak? I am not scared of her and I do not want to have official conflicts with her (NO WAY) but Im just wondering...
And would they have bullies at Yale?
How?Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasParent
Oh Im sorry, I didn't get it, I didn't read the quote, now I get it... :o Im kind of embarrassed now, sorryQuote:
Originally Posted by dave146
I don't know about Yale in particular, but I would imagine that there is always immature people everywhere, but in going to college I think the level of maturity and the fact that they are now trying to do something with their education that they are paying for directly or indirectly would suggest they have much more important goals than bullying you.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
Oh, hooray... yes you are right, people have more important stuff to do than go and bully people at college...
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:39 AM. |