Ask Me Help Desk - Being a virgin at 27- weird?

Why is it good to save yourself for true love? Although I find this a self-explanatory question, I will answer. It's respectable, you won't transfer std's (unless born with them) to your first partner, no unplanned pregnancies, no worries about birth control, and the person that finally is "the one" will know he's the one when the two of you make love for the first time.

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Why is it good to save yourself for true love? Although I find this a self-explanatory question, I will answer. It's respectable, you won't transfer std's (unless born with them) to your first partner, no unplanned pregnancies, no worries about birth control, and the person that finally is "the one" will know he's the one when the two of you make love for the first time.

Oh no, I meant that I asked the other question because I thought you could relate in some way.

Prove your love, pressured, drugged, convinced, some "in exchange for something", everybody is doing it...

Just don't engage into sex for wrong reasons. At this age you may now know who's worth the wait. Shallow maniacs out!

OK here is my experience... if you are spiritual and live by a belief like I did that it is the right thing to do then you will look for a man with the same belief system as yourself. If there is another reason then to answer your question I would need to know why. Who cares what anyone thinks and if they don't want to date you they are doing you a favor. Find a compatible respectable guy who loves that about you.

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Originally Posted by ylaira

Prove your love, pressured, drugged, convinced, some "in exchange for something", everybody is doing it......

Just dont engage into sex for wrong reasons. At this age you may now know who's worth the wait. Shallow maniacs out!

Well, yeah, that's why I still haven't had sex.

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Originally Posted by lf156

Oh, ok. I was just wondering why you thought it was good that I am one.

Nice 2 hear there are people like me still virgin!! Wow I'm not alone.. lol :)

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Originally Posted by lf156

Is it true that men don't like dating women who are still virgins in their 20's?
If you're a guy: Would you break up with someone you have been going out with if you found out she is a virgin?

Besides, I would LOVE to date a woman who is a virgin !

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Originally Posted by ncrazyfr

besides, i would LOVE to date a woman who is a virgin !

There are some out there...

Not many people have said that here, but the general impression guys get and even some of friends in fact is that there must be something wrong with me or abnormal about me to be a virgin at this 'old' age.

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Originally Posted by lf156

Not many people have said that here, but the general impression guys get and even some of friends infact is that there must be something wrong with me or abnormal about me to be a virgin at this 'old' age.

Don't think of being a virgin as bad... it may be good too

Those guys you have been with are shallow... stupid idiots~

Yeah well,
I was talking to a couple of my friends yesterday; they told me that I can only blame myself for still being inexperienced, etc. They said that it is understandable that guys don 't want to be with me because virginity at my age sends the wrong message across, and it is only natural that they wouldn't want to be with me any longer.

Certain men. A respectable man will respect your decision even if he hasn't made the same decision. Don't compromise your beliefs just to find a relationship. The one that captures your heart will be the one that will wait.

You know, there are certain dating sites for virgins. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But if you want to meet people with similar beliefs, I would Google it.

GOOGLE IS MY SAVIOR!

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Lf156, yeah well,
I was talking to a couple of my friends yesterday; they told me that I can only blame myself for still being inexperienced, etc.

They are only partly right, as there can never be any blame for following your own path, and not giving in to the ways that others would have you believe is correct.

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They said that it is understandable that guys don 't want to be with me because virginity at my age sends the wrong message across,

Again they are only partly right, some guys don't care about the female enough to be bothered with anything that they have to work at. Maybe that's all that you have known, or maybe there is something else you need to know, besides your being a virgin, that turns men away.

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and it is only natural that they wouldn't want to be with me any longer

Again maybe you can look at yourself honestly and find another factor involved that can prevent men from knowing you, or prevent them from getting to know you.

If you can honestly say you don't use your virginity as a weapon that prevents a guy from thinking that's it's a relationship or nothing, then you must not be into dating for fun, and making friends.

For the life of me, I can't fathom the reason a casual acquaintance or a potential date would even know your personal business, unless you tell them very early, or carry yourself as unapproachable for dating and fun that young people like yourself do. That's how you get to know if its worth pursuing as you get to know, and understand each other.

I can understand if you have dated, and not found someone who meets your standard for a relationship. What I do not understand, is your blaming it on your virginity.

Maybe your choice of dates, would be a better place to put the blame. Help me understand as this is not logical to me.

A few times it didn't work for other reasons(long distance, work, etc.), but some of the guys who I had been with for quite a while and was fairly close with felt that they didn't want to be with a virgin. I am not blaming it on my virginity, it was the reason they gave me. And from what I've gathered from friends and other websites is that it's apparently how most guys would respond.
Also, it is not an issue that I brought up myself, they started to talk about sex and ask me stuff about my sex life, and no, not as soon as we start dating, after being together for a while.

Ever dated a guy beyond 6 months?

Ages ago

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Certain men. A respectable man will respect your decision even if he hasn't made the same decision. Don't compromise your beliefs just to find a relationship. The one that captures your heart will be the one that will wait.

You know, there are certain dating sites for virgins. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But if you want to meet people with similar beliefs, I would google it.

GOOGLE IS MY SAVIOR!

Hehe, don't think I'm going to do that yet, but maybe in the future :P

Ever think of broadening your circle of people and activities?? I think your attractting the same type of guy, what do you think??

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Ever think of broadening your circle of people and activities???? I think your attractting the same type of guy, what do you think????

I don't think I'm attracting the same type of guy, unless you mean their attitude towards my inexperience?

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Originally Posted by lf156

I don't think I'm attracting the same type of guy, unless you mean their attitude towards my inexperience?

I guess you can say that.

Being a virgin is all right... nonvirgin is all right

In my eyes, I'd rather date virgins cause I'm not very experienced... I've only had sex with one girl... that was it~

I'm 19

Do you tend to date guys older, younger, or the same age as you?

All 3.

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Originally Posted by lf156

all 3.

That... answers the general age question.. lol

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Originally Posted by hjpan

That... answers the general age question.. lol

Um what?lol
I just said that I date guys who are younger than me as well as older than me, and also the same age.(Although I would not date someone who was like 20 or 40, I mean I wouldn't want too much of an age gap)

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Originally Posted by hjpan

I guess you can say that.

Being a virgin is alright... nonvirgin is alright

In my eyes, I'd rather date virgins cause I'm not very experienced... I've only had sex with one girl... that was it~

I'm 19

Yeah, OK. Just that at my age most guys wouldn't be inexperienced I guess.

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Originally Posted by lf156

yeah, ok. just that at my age most guys wouldn't be inexperienced I guess.

I'm very inexperienced... people, mainly guys, tell me that I am lagging behind or out-of-date

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Originally Posted by hjpan

I'm very inexperienced... people, mainly guys, tell me that I am lagging behind or out-of-date

My friends were & are very pushy too(not all of them now)

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Originally Posted by lf156

Is it true that men don't like dating women who are still virgins in their 20's?
If you're a guy: Would you break up with someone you have been going out with if you found out she is a virgin?

Trust me - its great to hear your opinion.. I'm 27 virgin and I too think I should wait for the right person.. but for me, a virgin girl would be a blessing ! So we could try everything together and then stick to each other only... maybe marriage..

Don't think guys would reject you ( I would die to get a virgin ! )

Ok, so I'm definitely a lot younger than you and well this probably doesn't answer your question but to tell the truth I have the goal to be a virgian until I get married, which may not be until I'm thirty. I'm not super religious or anything I just think it's the best way to go, and well if a guy wants to break up with me for it... then to tell the truth I'm going to think he's the weird one for having that so high up on his list when choosing a girl to date. Not to mention he'd probably get to know you and if he likes you then being a virgin shouldn't matter. I mean if the first thing a guy asks is are you a virgin? - then you need to drop him right then and there. I hoped this helped a least a little.

ThinkingOutloud

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Originally Posted by lf156

my friends were & are very pushy too(not all of them now)

Then they aren't good friends.

I would not break up just because of that. I understand what u say some guyz do mind... Frankly speaking for some of us it's actually a plus.. I personaly don't care whether one is a virgin or not... If a guy truly loves you then they shouldn't.

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Originally Posted by hjpan

Then they aren't good friends.

Well, I suppose they are entitled to their opinions, but yeah, I do get annoyed very frequently over this.

I'm not too keen on "virgin or not"... if she is a virgin, fine... if not, that's fine too.. . plus, the idea of being a virgin is... her matter, not mine.

"her matter not mine"? Er what do you mean?

Nope just amazing I can't imagine reaching 27 years old and still a virgin

Lol, I didn't think I would be a virgin at my 'old' age either when I was younger lol

By "her matter" I meant that it was her business and nothing to do with mine... so

1) I wouldn't ask if she were a virgin or not
2) Even if she were, it's her choice that has nothing to do with me, so it shouldn't matter.

Hope that helps?

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Originally Posted by lf156

Is it true that men don't like dating women who are still virgins in their 20's?
If you're a guy: Would you break up with someone you have been going out with if you found out she is a virgin?

Look, its so subjective. Few men likes to kiss/few don't, few likes lips/few likes eyes/few likes different appealing body parts. Similarly, you would find few men who likes dating virgin and who don't. Its even possible that 70% men wouldn't date virgin and 30% would not. But this statitics is not going to help you (or whoever that person is) to make her decision to stay virgin. If you want to stay virgin you should/must, it doesn't make you less of a person. And if the man is not able to respect that, then you don't deserve that man anyway.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

by "her matter" I meant that it was her business and nothing to do with mine...so

1) I wouldn't ask if she were a virgin or not
2) Even if she were, it's her choice that has nothing to do with me, so it shouldn't matter.

hope that helps?

Yep, sure does. Thanks.

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Originally Posted by shonny7

Look, its so subjective. Few men likes to kiss/few dont, few likes lips/few likes eyes/few likes different appealing body parts. Similarly, you would find few men who likes dating virgin and who dont. Its even possible that 70% men wouldnt date virgin and 30% would not. But this statitics is not gonna help you (or whoever that person is) to make her decision to stay virgin. If you wanna stay virgin you should/must, it doesnt make you less of a person. And if the man is not able to respect that, then you dont deserve that man anyways.

What you said is true but it's difficult to think like that when this stuff happens.