Hi, I would like to say, I don't believe you are sinning. I think people can fall in love in so many different places, and circumstances. Things happen in mysterious ways. I know you feel bad, but I would know that deep down somewhere it was all meant to happen, and maybe it is unique. I actually had the same experience, except the wife was my bestfriends mother. Now my bestfriends mother is about 45, and the guy is 28. So you see how much a difference there is. I had an affair, and I thought he loved me. I thought it was unique between this guy, and me. In the end, I ended up alone, and he stayed with her. I don't regret it though, everything is an experience, and I do believe he loved me, and that we were soulmates, or something. Something was def. different between us. From the moment we really started talking, It all changed. So you know keep your head up, and wait it out until this fall. If it doesn't change how he says, and he keeps putting it off. You got to kick him to the boot, before you get in to deep. Good luck and Don't feel bad.. I'm sure you have a good heart, and your following it well.

Cheating is a sin... falling in love isn't - but there is a process that needs to be followed, and respected - you have gone about it all the wrong way!

I also felt sick that you slept with this guy the day that his son was born - he came to you from the hospital - where his wife was laying thinking that she was holding a little symbol of the love she shared with her husband! For that, you need to ask for forgiveness because it is wrong on so many levels...

No matter how you try to justify the schedule of events - he still cheated on his wife. You are in marketing yes? Well... no fancy words are going to sell this story to his wife... and it looks as though you haven't convinced many on this forum either.

Like I said, it's not a sin to love someone, but it's completely immoral to enter into a relationship with someone who has committed himself to someone else - regardless of whether their marriage is happy or not - his promises obviously mean nothing - and you obviously mean little to him either, as he has lied and cheated from the beginning. If he loved you he would have sorted out his situation and then come to you... should that be.

I do wonder how any right-minded, obviously well educated woman could not possibly see the signs that are written on the wall - As it goes 'If he cheated on her, he'll cheat on you' - that saying wasn't just plucked out of the air for our ponderance... it comes from real life - so take your millionaire stud boyfriend with a child and enjoy him... karma will win in the end.

I hope his wife finds someone amazing and is happy until her dying days - and I hope that Prince Charmings looks and millions fade and you are left with an emotionally challenged shell of a person to spend your ending days with.

As I posted last month to someone else's question


I'm dating a married man. ((how dumb does that sound!))

It sounds more pathetic, disgusting, mean, cruel terrible, heartless..... etc

My X Fiance and I were deeply in love and so happy and because of a girl like you, hell maybe it was you, tore us apart. I HATE CHEATERS! And to be honest you're giving us girls a bad name to which I don't really appreciate and neither do other people I'm sure

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Raynefreak agrees: isnt that the f-ing truth

And I would like to add that this is why men cheat in the first place!! If there weren't any hussies to cheat with then there would be no cheaters in the first place! And women wonder why they are looked at as "objects"... Sad, Sad and very Pathetic

Do what your heart tells you to do... be free and fresh like the breezy seirra air.. u can do it.

I really think you need to dump this guy. Fornucating and adultry is wrong, wrong, wrong. You don't want to be the cause of him leaving his wife. Even if they are having problems you should help him get back with her not dump her and especially not sleep with him until they are divorced. I have been in a situation like this before. I told the guy to get lost because he just lied lied lied. He told me he was separated when we met then they got back together. Be very careful you are playing with fire and you will get burned.

No matter how hard it is, please don't continue to see this man. I am not about to throw stones at you, but the wonderful feeling you have when you are with him, or talk to him will not last. You are worth more than this. You see, my husband left me for another woman. We got back together even after I found out about the affair, and the other woman called me, e-mailed me and harassed me on several occasions, making sure I knew the details of their affair. He went back to her, and I have divorced him. He lied to me and to her over, and over and over. Please don't believe him. You will get over the pain. I am finally beginning to live my life again, after living 1 1/2 years of hell. Any man that cheats on his wife is not a man you will want to be with. The best revenge a wife can get on a woman that steals her husband, is to let her have him.

I'm dating married man too I know it sounds dumb but I think at the time I was vulnerable and needed someone to talk to. I think the worse thing is that I'm trying for a divorce and I still love my husband isn't that crazy I haven't been intimated with this man that I'm seeing but god knows I feel so gulity and I don't know why. My husband was treacherous and if that is the only way that I can describe himthen I know we don't belong together. This married man is quite possessive and I know that I'm not even that attracted to him but he makes me feel good at times and I know I need those feelings. I don't have time to really go out and find a single man because I have kids. It's really hard sometimes espcially when your lonely... sincerely Aja boo

I don't want to sound too harsh but let me begin by giving you some tough love because I care about people and the poor choices they make.

First of all, I am not letting you off the hook, what you did is VERY WRONG, your man and you lack moral integrity and frankly I hope the man's wife takes him to the cleaners. I will in no way justify that.

Now as far as your question is concerned, you should walk away and try to make amends for the mistake you made. If not then prepare for a rough life brought on by your making a poor decision.

There are so many different sides to all this Perplexed3024 should have never taken the relationship to the next level BUT in her defence when have any of us been able to control who we fall in love with and we all know our hearts speak so much louder than words. He could be honest and telling her the truth and only married due to the pressures? Who are we to tell. It is the nature of the beast for men to fanitise and always thinking it is greener on the other side. I know you are thinking well this woman does not know the felling well I am married and it was rough for years and when I found out I was hurt and I cried and I was a mess. I had a very good friend sit me down and she said " look in the mirror there is always 2 sides" I then took the time to reflect on all that happened, newly married then the kids etc and we just existed. I know most woman do this and I was not alone but to ourselves we say in a round about way I am married now he is mine and that's it. We do tend to change ourselves and become bossy, cridical, and sometimes down right mean. We now become inactive sexualy and well from a mans point of view they need there physical fix. When I realized all I had to him and all I put him through I then could not hold it against him. I could then look back and know that even though he di have an affair and it was wrong I took a he huge part in pushing him away. We had a great sex life before marriage we had date nights out we had our time then we married and all went down hill marriage takes work lots of work!! But if one or the other is not in it for the long hall and they know they will never be happy with there partner again then the best you can do is go your separate ways. If you want it to work you need to put forth 110%. Y have to listen to your man and you as a woman and/or wife man sure youjr man is physically emotional and sexualy fulfilled. After a long day of work as tired as you are have a quicky (great stress relever) and then go to sleep with your arms around each other and guereteed you will wake up with a smile!! U should always beablr to talk to your man and ask them what there fantises are etc. Look at what this woman did they married the NO sex, cooking, etc. she did it all to hook him they married and then she did a 180 I can't blame him!! She took a huge part in the failed marriage just as he did!!

This thread is from 2007.
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