Ask Me Help Desk - Misunderstanding

You need to end this. This all sounds very one sided. It is not a healthy relationship

Quote:

Originally Posted by eme30

I actually really love him, that's why I am the one making an adjustment towards our relation, I alwys try to understands him but sometimes it makes me tired the way he act like this to me, whenever he is away I spend all of my time talking to him online so he won't feel being alone, as he alwys mentioned to me that's he's been alone since his girl friend passed away 4 years ago, even at night I only sleep for like 4 hours as he wants me to spend time with him as u know time difference but I did not mind at all sleeping late.. I'm just doing my best for him but it looks like he is controlling me much. Thank you

He needs to learn how to change that feeling for himself. Have you ever heard of feeling alone in a crowded room? No matter how many people are around or talking to him, he will still have that feeling until he lets the loneliness go. He needs to strengthen his support for himself.

He is using you as a crutch. Instead of learning how to walk on his own feet again, he is expecting you to be his sole support. He is making you carry his weight and your own. That is not fair to you. It is endangering your health.

Sometimes, when we love someone we have to back up and give them room to stand on their own. Encourage him to get help so that he is a partner and giving back as much energy as he is draining away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

He needs to learn how to change that feeling for himself. Have you ever heard of feeling alone in a crowded room? No matter how many people are around or talking to him, he will still have that feeling until he lets the loneliness go. He needs to strengthen his support for himself.

He is using you as a crutch. Instead of learning how to walk on his own feet again, he is expecting you to be his sole support. He is making you carry his weight and your own. That is not fair to you. It is endangering your health.

Sometimes, when we love someone we have to back up and give them room to stand on their own. Encourage him to get help so that he is a partner and giving back as much energy as he is draining away.

Thank you everyone I really appreciates all your riplies, now since he never talked to me since Thursday night I should just let him on his own for a moment, and I'll try to ask him to get some help. Thanks again.

Just tell him to grow up and get over it.

PS, And don't bring that BS to you again.

You ain't his mama or his pet.

When you allow bad behavior or disrespect you get more of it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by eme30

I'll try to ask him to get some help.

And when he says. "Help? There's nothing wrong with me!" then what will you say?

Time to break up and then ignore his calls?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And when he says. "Help? There's nothing wrong with me!" then what will you say?

Time to break up and then ignore his calls?

I should just have probably a nice talk and make him understand how I feel about all this. Hope he'll understands me towards this...

Quote:

Originally Posted by eme30

I should just have probably a nice talk and make him understand how I feel about all this. Hope he'll understands me towards this...

And if he doesn't? (I don't think a "nice talk" will work.)

Does he really want to understand you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And if he doesn't? (I don't think a "nice talk" will work.)

Does he really want to understand you?

I'm not sure he'll going to understands me, let see how it goes I keep you guys posted.. till now I never call him or send him messages and I never heard anything from him at all.. I need space from him its better this way we not talking at least I can clear up my mind and think of all this. Thanks