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Who are you people to judge this girl? Let me remind you that SHE is the one who is single and she is NOT responsible to uphold HIS commitment. You do what your heart desires, dear; just remember to emotionally protect yourself and remember that there are others out there.
I had an affair with a married man for 8 years. His horse just won the Preakness, and I still have feelings for him. He however, has moved along to greener pastures. Younger girl, etc.
Just remember, if he does this to his wife, he WILL do it to you.
Staying in it if you are getting gifts and cool perks is one thing, but if he doesn't even buy you stuff, that sucks. He is out for sex and sex alone. Cut him off now. You deserve more
And maybe you don't feel you do, but you'll get over him. Try to get him to write you a glowing letter of recommendation while you are still in his good graces, then look for another job FAST. Get out, find someone who loves you, I wasted a lot of time.
Married men? Ask me and I'll tell you all about them. They suck(in every sense of the word)... To you they will tell all sordid stories about their wives and as soon as they realize they have a grip on you, they treat you no more than a whore... if you want to be treated like one, then sure.. stay there... but if not, then get out of it asap before life turns ugly... their lust usually doesn't last longer for one person... and they love to hang their tongues out at every other lass they find... they need variety for their sexual outlet... as soon as you will show your emotional quotient to them, they will be nowhere to be seen... they'll fly away in a second... will lead you on for a few days and then disappear leaving you in a lurch... also I recommend, you read what Ruby Pitbull wrote as an answer to my post coupla days ago... I too realized how true everyone in the forum was, and got out of the mess before I wrecked myself. I am stronger and strived through it... so suggest you live life with dignity. Be good to yourself.
BUT she is a willing participant in this knowing full well he's married. That makes her every bit as responsible as he is. If she did not know then it would be different.Quote:
Originally Posted by jodywrnr
Now if that's all you want... someone who doesn't want commitment or be around all the time, then fine. But you can't sugar coat the facts to absolve yourself from it because you are single and he is not when you know for a fact he is married and you continue.
Are you crazy! She is just a guilty as he is and is enabling him to be a cheater, to the degradation of her self and the harm it causes others. Some people feel very strongly about a person stuck on stupid, and know it to the harm of others, and if she doesn't care about anyone but her self, why should we be sympathetic to her plight, since she chooses to sit in her own shat.Quote:
Originally Posted by jodywrnr
In love with a married man? Please listen to 'Elephant' by Damien Rice!
By the way, please find a dictionary and look up the definition of love. You are only feeling needy right now and he is showing attention that you need, he is also an authority figure and you can have him in a lot of trouble for sexual harassment if you want.
If you want to break it off, be strong, tell him you will go to his higher ups an complain that he has used his authority to take advantage of this situation where you are weak and he is got the strong upper hand. It is not right. Of course he will tell you his wife doesn't understand him, it is a sham, etc... but he is a liar, plain and simple. You deserve better and I know what it feels like to spend all the holidays alone, and when he is on vacation with her, and you can't call him at home or go to his house, or be seen in public,
Or tell your friends or have common friends, it is no life to live. I think the most important thing you can do right now is go talk to a therapist, have someone recommend someone. I did, an it helped enormously.
Ok I'm just going to say a few things...
Diya-you make it sound like all married men are evil. Not just you do that, but many people. Let me just say that I may not legally be married, but personally I think once sex is brought into a relationship your bodies are married. Not too many people want to believe that because who holds sex highly anymore? Hardly anyone. I may be 21 and not too bright yet, but I know for a fact that just because one husband is a low-life not all are. My fiancé of 3 years would never do anything like that. I would never sleep with another man either. I've done wrong in the past by talking to guys online because I was lonely and depressed. But people change and make mistakes.
Moving on, Lindee I don't agree with the way your coming across. I don't think you understand that what you've done and any ''other'' women do is wrong. I'm confussed, you seem to know in your heart that it is wrong, however you continue down this path. If you know the fire is going to hurt, why step into it again? Just because you don't want to get hurt? I've been hurt my whole life, I know what it's like. My dad was a bad man, yelled at me and verbally abusive. My life sucked till I put myself OUT of that. You and 101 need to do that. First off, do you want to die a failure? Die alone, used and abused? Do you not want to do some good for your life or world? For any women, relationships CAN be scary. I've been there. But if you meet a guy who seems genuinly nice, who's single and interested, go out for coffee. Be yourself. You'll see men are just as scared sometime's as we are! Can you believe that? It's true. You have to be able to let yourself go, in order to give room to fall in love. Why do that to the wrong person? Your 50, enjoy life a bit! Even if you or any women doesn't end up having a truly wonderful relationship (which I can assure you is the best thing in this world) at least better yoursleves. Teach other's about your mistakes, do something for this country. Change the world. Or try. One life can touch nations you know. Anyway, on an ending note, I think some of my points needed to be touched here, but I'll tell you all this, my life has been hard, but when I met my fiancé it got good. He's lifted a lot of my burdens and carried them until I could. He's taught me about life, love and a lot more and I used to be a crappy person, but now I can actually be kind of pround of who I am. So should ALLLL of you. Do something before you die, to make yourself proud of who you are, or what you've done. All I can say is without love, I really wouldn't be here right now. Some of you may know why other's not. But the point is, its worth the risk for love. But healthy true love, not this. So good luck to you all. I hope you find happiness that will wipe your sadness away. :-)
We should be sympathetic to her plight because she asked complete strangers for help. Don't you wonder why she didn't ask a friend? Think about this, now maybe this isn't how it went, but it could have.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
It's 4 am and she has to leave for work at 7am. She can't sleep. She feels like shat because she doesn't know what to do. Her emotions are overwhelming and she needs to talk. She's not sure she can get through the next day. She doesn't have anyone to talk to. She goes on the internet.
That is why we should be sympathetic. Because she is alone and miserable. Another human being in pain. She doesn't need to know she screwed up. She needs kindness.
Oh, I'm sympathetic... problem is I can understand how she got into this and how hard it is to make the decisions needed to get out of it.
OH, I'm not saying I am doing that, Because I'm not. But I do understand the conditions that can foster that starting. And the longer it goes on the harder it is to walk away like she needs to. Familiar situations tend to cloud ones judgment. She is used to this, even though she knows what she must do its hard to go from the known and familiar to the unknown.
If you reread all my posts here I have been sympathetic, and honest. I saw no reason not to as I thought she was sincere in her wish to change. My last post, the one you quote me on was for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by jodywrnr
This is a man who cheats on his wife - someone he took vows with and swore to love honor and cherish till death do they part. Do you honestly think that even if he left his wife for you he would be faithful to you. WAKE UP and get out now
I can't knock you for being in love with a married man, I am too. He takes me out and buys me thinngs though. You need to tell him no romance without finance honey. The Lord puts us in situatiions at times to test us. Have you told him that your feelings are hurt when he doesn't do tyhings for you on special occasions that mean something to you? A closed mouth doesn't get fed. He will do for you just stop sleeping with him after you confront him about these things and see what happens.
I think your being tested by the Lesser god, and you passed with this sick statement.Quote:
Originally Posted by brownskinnedone
Let me describe all the possitive aspects that stem from sleeping with my boss who is married,. OK none!
Sorry honey, no sympathy here. You knew he was married and you were with him anyway. What did you think was going to happen? He was going to leave his wife? Never. Wake up - quit your job if you have to. Tell him you will sue him for sexual harassment.
Don't be the one to break up a married couple... you don't want that on you conscious. You sound like a sweet person... Mr. Right is waiting for u
Just wanted to say that we are in the same situation. I've been involved with a married man for about 4 years now, on and off. It started as lust but now it's love, sadly. I wished I stopped seeing him in the beginning when it was much easier to let go but no he didn't want to and more fool me I agreed to continue the relationship, now it's really hard to let go. At most times, he's really good to me but I know it's not enough. I hate it that I can't always call or see him (we don't work together), more or less everything is on his terms and I hate the effect he has on me. He can be a jerk at times, like when the wife is hassling me and of course I'll need to talk to him but all of a sudden he's busy and he'll call back ASAP, but sometimes he doesn't then after a month or so he'll call again as if nothing is wrong. I've tried to let go but every time he calls I'm sure to answer his calls then it'll start again. Any ideas anyone?
Cold Turkey... walk away, yeah its going to hurt for a bit... but that's the most quick way to get it over with.
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