Ask Me Help Desk - A Guy Texts Me Daily, Then Stops. I Texted Him Today and He Ignores Me. What's Going

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Teach yourself to have positive thoughts. Look for the positive in everything and you will find it.

Truer words were never spoken!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Truer words were never spoken!

I attended this positive thinking workshop probably 15 years ago and what the motivational speaker was saying made so much sense to me. It had a big impact on my life and I try to teach others how to do the same. Plus I have been accused of never getting upset.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

There it is in a nutshell.

Ugh, whatever. You didn't answer the first part of question though, "What does the Toastmaster's Club accomplish? I've heard they help people give speeches, but is it a way to meet guys/friends?

At the grocery store? Wow, how does that happen? Do guys just walk up to you? And how do you meet guys at the mall? Do you tend to approach them or do they approach you? Guys don't really approach me when shopping."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

"But nothing "happens' naturally for me." UUGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

As you might be able to tell, I abhor negative statements. If you started today with negative thoughts and statements, it surely will be a negative day. If the cooking class is full of older women, then feel happy you are the youngest in there. I went to a cooking class recently and it was full of young people. Only the teacher, who was celebrating her 71st birthday, was elderly.

The point is you have trained your brain to look for the negative in everything. If you want to be happy then do the opposite. Teach yourself to have positive thoughts. Look for the positive in everything and you will find it. You know it is possible that if you become a more positive person, you will become much more attractive from every aspect. It does work.

I certainly haven't been "looking for the negative" on purpose. I've just been struggling so much over the past few years with anxiety issues, depression, inability to make friends and meet people. I spent many months last year trying to find a therapist that I could afford only to be disappointed. There's a free clinic in my city but it was a 15 month waiting list last I checked (I still signed up) but I need help much sooner than that.

It's hard to see a bright side when you're in a lot of pain and dealing with loneliness. I'm sorry, but I see nothing positive about any of what I'm going through at the moment.

Also remember that when you start dating, esp for the first 6 to 8 weeks, it is normal to date three or four people, nothing wrong with that, and no need to tell the other unless asked.

So I am not sure what promises were made between the two of you, but yes this is really how dating works normally, a person may date several people, often at same time, esp online, and then find one they prefer or two they prefer and narrow down. Or start dating a new one until it becomes a more serious relationship.

I feel you expected as too many people do, someone to date only you after a few weeks of talking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jodar7

I spent many months last year trying to find a therapist that I could afford only to be disappointed.

Most therapists have a sliding scale based on your income and what you can afford. You don't have to go to a psychiatrist or a psychologist. A social worker or a licensed counselor/therapist (both with a master's degree) will be fine. If you possibly need meds, the therapist will discuss that with you and has a psychiatrist connection who will prescribe. If you need to be referred, that can easily be done and your financial situation kept in mind. Yes, you can afford counseling and there is someone out there for you. (positive thinking)

Call the reference desk at your public library to get some names or just Google for your area. Include "sliding scale" (no quote marks) in your search.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jodar7

But nothing "happens' naturally for me. I've waited my whole life for a guy to materialize and be "the one" but that's never happened and probably never will. I want to take real action to go out and attract the guy I want into my life. I agree friends are great to have, I could use more close friends actually. But I want a relationship too.

I want to join something, not sure what sort of classes guys would be into besides sports related classes though. >.< Cooking sounds fun, but I could see it being full of older women. Any other ideas for classes? Right now though, I'm honestly just trying to focus on finding a therapist that is affordable and can help me out, I've sort of put recreational things on the back burner. Not on purpose, I've just been busy and distracted.

> Seriously - wake up tomorrow and tell yourself you are going to have a good day. You are going to move yourself forward and then do it. It does work. I promise

I'll try it. Thanks.

There such a thing as the power of positive thinking. Also, it will be hard for someone to like a person who doesn't seem to like themselves.

I really think you need to focus on finding you, on becoming comfortable with yourself and when you do that will shine through and your sought after soul mate will find you. Do what you like to do - be yourself - place yourself in environments where you are comfortable. Put a smile on your face and start living your life now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by troubled923

There such a thing as the power of positive thinking. Also, it will be hard for someone to like a person who doesn't seem to like themself.

I really think you need to focus on finding you, on becoming comfortable with yourself and when you do that will shine through and your sought after soul mate will find you. Do what you like to do - be yourself - place yourself in environments where you are comfortable. Put a smile on your face and start living your life now.

Some people become so used to being and thinking negative that they've trained themselves to be that way. For these people it is very difficult to un-train them to see each thing in their life from a different perspective. If you read her posts it is negative sentence after negative sentence.

I remember a few years ago when I had two German Shepherds. It made no difference to them what kind of day I had. When I came home, those tails were always wagging. Last night I played poker and lost $20. But I had a great time with my friends. You have to look and find the positive in each situation.

It isn't easy at first. But honestly given the choice of having a good day versus having a bad day, I am going to choose to have a good day everyday.

My response was that the advice to find a way to be happy to look for the good is great advice and the perfect attitude that every one should strive for. I try to find hope and satisifaction even in the small things and work to over come my short falls and demons. I hope jodar7 can do the same