Ask Me Help Desk - Getting over my Fiance's past sex life HELP!

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

When you can see and recognize your own problems and shortcomings....those of other people don't seem as obvious, or as profound.

When you can do that...you are halfway there, and the rest of the way is the easy half of the trip.

Thanks smoothly. What would u say my direct problems are? Judgmental? Hypocritical?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hardbody12

Thanks smoothly. What would u say my direct problems are? Judgmental? Hypocritical?

Partly... when you can see your partner as your equal... and I mean TRUE equal in all ways... you would not hold them to a different standard than you hold yourself to. Or expect them to do something you yourself wouldn't do.

That more than anything is the key to a long term happy relationship. You need a lot more than love.

Do that and honestly mean it, and you will earn a greater level or respect and trust from your partner than you could ever hope for otherwise.

You can't fake it... not for very long.

That and learn that the past is the past... life isn't a science fiction movie so nobody can go back and change it. And the sum of your experiences up until today makes you who you are... good or bad. It can never be changed.

But tomorrow is another day, and you can make conscience decisions that will effect the path your life takes in the future.

Every choice alters your future opportunities in some way. So its important to make the right choices knowing this and don't just cruise through life until you wake up one day and wonder what happened, why am I here?

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Partly....when you can see your partner as your equal....and I mean TRUE equal in all ways...you would not hold them to a different standard than you hold yourself to. Or expect them to do something you yourself wouldn't do.

That more than anything is the key to a long term happy relationship. You need a lot more than love.

Do that and honestly mean it, and you will earn a greater level or respect and trust from your partner than you could ever hope for otherwise.

You can't fake it...not for very long.

That and learn that the past is the past.....life isn't a science fiction movie so nobody can go back and change it. And the sum of your experiences up until today makes you who you are....good or bad. It can never be changed.

But tomorrow is another day, and you can make conscience decisions that will effect the path your life takes in the future.

Every choice alters your future opportunities in some way. So its important to make the right choices knowing this and don't just cruise through life until you wake up one day and wonder what happened, why am I here?

Thanks a lot for the advice everyone! It means more than you know. Smoothy I'm going to focus on that

OK, I want to know , were you dating her when she was 16 and you 20/21?
That does not say much for you my friend.
I hope you get your funky attitude together, because this young girl probably worships you and it would destroy her if you begin to treat her like trash. The fact that you have thrown this in her face is disgusting enough. Get yourself together before you marry this girl.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

OK, I want to know , were you dating her when she was 16 and you 20/21?
That does not say much for you my friend.
I hope you get your funky attitude together, because this young girl probably worships you and it would destroy her if you begin to treat her like trash. The fact that you have thrown this in her face is disgusting enough. Get yourself together before you marry this girl.

I definitely intend to do that homegirl50. And yes, like I said previously due to circumstances she had to grow up quickly. First friends we became boyfriend/girlfriend. I know the age difference isn't ideal but we have been together for 3 years and have an overall good relationship. And yes I mean the world to her and her to me, that's y I'm here asking for help. Anymore advice that you would give homegirl50?