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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

My husband used to say;Gosh you gave him the look" I didn't have to say anything, The look is raising one eyebrow and glaring without blinking. Used it a lot when I was with my girls and these old pervs would look at them. It worked!!

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You know, now that I think about it, I have had a friend tell me that when I don't like someone or if someone is annoying me, that I tend to give them this "look". Now, I don't know what that "look" that she's referring to, looks like but, according to her and a couple of other people, I do have a look.

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Originally Posted by Just_Another_Lemming

Bright, you are welcome. I can tell you are very nervous over this or you wouldn't have posted. AND, frankly, I am very nervous & worried for you. So, please, before the guy manages to find a way to corner you when you are alone, I really want you to do one of those things immediately. Do whichever thing makes you the most comfortable.

BTW, since I don't know what my friend's Dad said to the man, for all I know, he could have told the guy that he would beat the living daylights out of him if he even looked at his daughter again!

Just my suggestion to your Dad. :)

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Yeah. You're right. The good thing is that I'm practically never alone when this guy is around. My dad is pretty much always around me when I come into contact with this guy. The weird thing to me though, is how my dad has never actually noticed anything weird like the staring, for example.

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Originally Posted by brightsky

You know, now that I think about it, I have had a friend tell me that when I don't like someone or if someone is annoying me, that I tend to give them this "look". Now, I don't know what that "look" that she's referring to, looks like but, according to her and a couple of other people, I do have a look.

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The "look" is telling him you are unavailable. Stand straight, lift your chin and glare with one eyebrow raised. Try not to blink but give him a cold, hard angry look. If this doesn't work walk over and say, "look gramps, stop staring at me or I'll tell your wife how you ogle the women in this building." Then walk away very briskly. I still do the look when my kids get out of line.

My son told me once when he was a youngster, I gave him the "look' in church for misbehaving, "mom I'd rather you spank me than give me the look"

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

The "look" is telling him you are unavailable. Stand straight, lift your chin and glare with one eyebrow raised. Try not to blink but give him a cold, hard angry look. If this doesn't work walk over and say, "look gramps, stop staring at me or I'll tell your wife how you ogle the women in this building." Then walk away very briskly. I still do the look when my kids get out of line.

My son told me once when he was a youngster, I gave him the "look' in church for misbehaving, "mom I'd rather you spank me than give me the look"

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Haha... that thing with your son is funny. :D
I'll try to give him the "look" the next time I see him.

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Originally Posted by brightsky

Haha...that thing with your son is funny. :D
I'll try to give him the "look" the next time I see him.

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You go girl! Be careful and stay safe.:p

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

It is not rude to tell a guy to leave you alone, it is standing up for yourself.
This man is being rude, rude and inappropriate!

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Yeah. I've tried ignoring him before but, I wasn't too good at it. Maybe now, it'll be easier for me to ignore him.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

You go girl! Be careful and stay safe.:p

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Thanks. I'll try. :)

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Originally Posted by brightsky

Thanks. I'll try. :)

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If you are ever alone and he approaches you and puts his hands on you , scream and kick him right in the family jewels. Then run and call the police.:)

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

If you are ever alone and he approaches you and puts his hands on you , scream and kick him right in the family jewels. Then run and call the police.:)

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Thanks. If it ever comes to that, I will. It's funny because that time that I mentioned in my original post, where he touched my hair, there were people around and no one seemed to noticed what he did. :/

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Originally Posted by brightsky

Thanks. If it ever comes to that, I will. It's funny because that time that I mentioned in my original post, where he touched my hair, there were people around and no one seemed to noticed what he did. :/

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He is a freak... When he touched your hair you should have slapped him and said "keep your hands to yourself, you nutjob"... That makes me mad. If someone were to do that to my daughters and (they are older than you), I would make darn sure he would be singing soprano for the rest of his life.:eek: Be careful.

Yes the 'look' does work.

I might say seeing as you don't know what 'the look' looks like practise it in the mirror.

I say this as I also tried to give a guy who kept bothering me this 'look' but got told by friends that it was more a seductive look. Which made things worse for me lol.

Once I got it right it did work in the end!

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Originally Posted by aimee_tt

Yes the 'look' does work.

I might say seeing as you dont know what 'the look' looks like practise it in the mirror.

I say this as i also tried to give a guy who kept bothering me this 'look' but got told by friends that it was more a seductive look. which made things worse for me lol.

Once i got it right it did work in the end!

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Aimee maybe we should start a thread on "How To Give The Look".:D
Yes that "look" will be passed from generation to generation in my family.
I'm so proud.:cool:

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22
He is a freak... When he touched your hair you should have slapped him and said "keep your hands to yourself, you nutjob"... That makes me mad. If someone were to do that to my daughters and (they are older than you), I would make darn sure he would be singing soprano for the rest of his life. Be careful.

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Lol. That's funny. You seem like you really care about your children Kitkat. That's a good thing. I'm sure that you're a really good mother. That day (when he touched my hair), I was so shocked, confused, etc that I didn't know how to react. I just... froze and then walked away quickly without saying anything. Not the best thing to do, I know, but it was the only thing that I was able to do at the moment.

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Originally Posted by aimee_tt

Yes the 'look' does work.

I might say seeing as you don't know what 'the look' looks like practise it in the mirror.

I say this as I also tried to give a guy who kept bothering me this 'look' but got told by friends that it was more a seductive look. Which made things worse for me lol.

Once I got it right it did work in the end!

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Aimee, I know I said that I don't know what the "look" looks like but, apparently, I do know how to give the "look" to people who annoy me or that I simply don't like. I guess I do it subconciously without realizing it because, according to a friend of mine, my "look" tells people "leave me the "f" alone, before I f#@!#@ hurt you!". :D

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Originally Posted by brightsky

Lol. That's funny. You seem like you really care about your children Kitkat. That's a good thing. I'm sure that you're a really good mother. :) That day (when he touched my hair), I was so shocked, confused, etc that I didn't know how to react. I just...froze and then walked away quickly without saying anything. Not the best thing to do, I know, but it was the only thing that I was able to do at the moment.

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You were shocked and uncomfortable about his actions. Yes I love my husband, my children more than my own life. I would kill if someone hurt or harmed my children in any way. So would my husband. Your dad feels the same way as we do. He would protect you with his life. That's what moms and dads do. You should tell your dad and let him be aware of this guy. Let us know how you do. Tell your Dad.:) Practice the "look".:eek:

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Originally Posted by brightsky

Lol. That's funny. You seem like you really care about your children Kitkat. That's a good thing. I'm sure that you're a really good mother. :) That day (when he touched my hair), I was so shocked, confused, etc that I didn't know how to react. I just...froze and then walked away quickly without saying anything. Not the best thing to do, I know, but it was the only thing that I was able to do at the moment.

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Don't worry I would have done the same thing. Its hard when you're a naturally shy and kind person to say anything to people who you don't like.

I think you just need to start Giving him the look and ignoring him.. If he is going into alift at the same time as you let him go in and wait till he is gone before you hop into it. Don't let him get near you. If he stares at you.. stare back with that evil look. Eventually he will get it through his thick skull that you don't like him!

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Originally Posted by brightsky

Aimee, I know I said that I don't know what the "look" looks like but, apparently, I do know how to give the "look" to people who annoy me or that I simply don't like. I guess I do it subconciously without realizing it because, according to a friend of mine, my "look" tells people "leave me the "f" alone, before I f#@!#@ hurt you!". :D

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The use that look on this guy

You have more than enough 'clues' from this man, to know that this is a potentially dangerous situation.

That much is quite obvious, your post was very well written, and any reasonable person would feel as you do.

But, you have to take care of your own business here. You can run the risk of doing nothing and have him suddenly be standing outside the building in the shadows after a friend drops you off late at night.

You can run the risk of continuously not stopping him by informing your father, who would most likely have a few words with him. That alone could end this.

You can also run the risk of appearing to encourage him- IN HIS EYES. Men who stalk, intimidate, assert themselves without provocation, see you as prey. You have described yourself as rather shy and polite. Just the type of person a stalker goes for.

This behaviour will not stop. It will get increasingly more and more invaisive, because he sees every 'encounter' as being a green light to the next, and, as a 'sign' that you have not rejected him, therefore you must feel the same about him, as he does of you.

There are no accidents with men like this. He knows where you live, he knows your schedule, where you buy gas, where you go, who your friends are, etc. He pretends to be a 'man' by shaking your fathers had, all the while holding yours and establishing uncomfortable eye contact. Even in the presence of your own father, he is still making it known to you, that he is interested in you, far beyond the comfort level that any female would feel with him around.

Don't kid yourself. You need to do something. My guess is that you are not the first person he has stalked, nor will you be the last. It could very well come down to contacting the police, getting a restraining order etc. It will escalate. Expecting him to stop on his own, isn't going to happen.

So you make the call. Do something and put a stop to it. Or, do nothing, and be prepared for more uncomfortable, potentially dangerous, contact from this man who is at least 20 years older than you. If you don't take charge here, don't complain when you run into him, and this turns into an assault.

Had to spread the rep... but everyone posting here has been right on and to the point.

brightsky , love your description of your look, use it!

Being a dad myself I urge you to talk to him. Dads and daughters share a special bond you may not know about and this may show you a new side of dad.

Keep the creeps at bay and keep us posted

Lost the electricity yesterday so I couldn't respond.

Jake, I too have to spread it but you are right on the money. That is what I was thinking but I was a bit concerned about scaring her. In the light of day, I should have been as strong in my wording as you have been here. She needs to understand that this needs to be dealt with immediately.

Martinizing, have to spread it as well. Brightsky needs to recognize that IF her father appears to be a gentle man, he will turn into a grizzly if he believes a man is placing his daughter in danger. Brightsky, please believe that.

Bright, one other thing... you mentioned this guy does all these things while other people are around & quite often while your Dad is around. What may be confusing you &/or you don't notice, is that he is being very, very careful to ensure your Father or anyone else with you doesn't notice him. THAT is why he is staring so long and hard. He waits for the precise moment you make eye contact with him and the other person with you is distracted by something else. He is extremely cunning. The more you post, the more the alarm bells are going off for me.

Kiddo, you now have quite a number of people on this thread that have told you that your suspicions are right on the ball. Print this entire thread with all the responses and show it to your father. When he reads everything that you have stated and we have said, he won't doubt you. I promise.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

The use that look on this guy

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Don't worry. I plan to use it at some point. :P

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

You have more than enough 'clues' from this man, to know that this is a potentially dangerous situation.

That much is quite obvious, your post was very well written, and any reasonable person would feel as you do.

But, you have to take care of your own business here. You can run the risk of doing nothing and have him suddenly be standing outside the building in the shadows after a friend drops you off late at night.

You can run the risk of continuously not stopping him by informing your father, who would most likely have a few words with him. That alone could end this.

You can also run the risk of appearing to encourage him- IN HIS EYES. Men who stalk, intimidate, assert themselves without provocation, see you as prey. You have described yourself as rather shy and polite. Just the type of person a stalker goes for.

This behaviour will not stop. It will get increasingly more and more invaisive, because he sees each and every 'encounter' as being a green light to the next, and, as a 'sign' that you have not rejected him, therefore you must feel the same about him, as he does of you.

There are no accidents with men like this. He knows where you live, he knows your schedule, where you buy gas, where you go, who your friends are, etc. He pretends to be a 'man' by shaking your fathers had, all the while holding yours and establishing uncomfortable eye contact. Even in the presence of your own father, he is still making it known to you, that he is interested in you, far beyond the comfort level that any female would feel with him around.

Don't kid yourself. You need to do something. My guess is that you are not the first person he has stalked, nor will you be the last. It could very well come down to contacting the police, getting a restraining order etc. It will escalate. Expecting him to stop on his own, isn't going to happen.

So you make the call. Do something and put a stop to it. Or, do nothing, and be prepared for more uncomfortable, potentially dangerous, contact from this man who is at least 20 years older than you. If you don't take charge here, don't complain when you run into him, and this turns into an assault.

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Thanks for the advice. I really liked how you explained things thoroughly. :)

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Originally Posted by Just_Another_Lemming

Lost the electricity yesterday so I couldn't respond.

Jake, I too have to spread it but you are right on the money. That is what I was thinking but I was a bit concerned about scaring her. In the light of day, I should have been as strong in my wording as you have been here. She needs to understand that this needs to be dealt with immediately.

Martinizing, have to spread it as well. Brightsky needs to recognize that IF her father appears to be a gentle man, he will turn into a grizzly if he believes a man is placing his daughter in danger. Brightsky, please believe that.

Bright, one other thing....you mentioned this guy does all these things while other people are around & quite often while your Dad is around. What may be confusing you &/or you don't notice, is that he is being very, very careful to ensure your Father or anyone else with you doesn't notice him. THAT is why he is staring so long and hard. He waits for the precise moment you make eye contact with him and the other person with you is distracted by something else. He is extremely cunning. The more you post, the more the alarm bells are going off for me.

Kiddo, you now have quite a number of people on this thread that have told you that your suspicions are right on the ball. Print this entire thread with all the responses and show it to your father. When he reads everything that you have stated and we have said, he won't doubt you. I promise.

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Just_Another_Flemming, thanks for the advice... again. :p
The part of your quote that I put in bold is the one that I'm more specifically responding to right now. Honestly, I have noticed that he is what I call "slick". He seems to know how to do things and make them noticeable to me but, not necessarily anyone else. He has my dad thinking of him as a "nice guy" and every time my dad sees him or comes into contact with him, he ends up telling me about what a nice and/or great guy, this man is. When I hear him say this type of stuff, I just get the urge to tell him everything that I mentioned in my original post to you guys but, up until this point, I've never actually had the guts to do so. So, I'm just going to try to take the encouragement that you guys gave me to finally blurt out the truth (as hard as it may be).
The good thing is that I haven't seen and/or come in contact with that guy in a while. :D

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Originally Posted by brightsky

Just_Another_Flemming, thanks for the advice...again. :p
The part of your quote that I put in bold is the one that I'm more specifically responding to right now. Honestly, I have noticed that he is what I call "slick". He seems to know how to do things and make them noticeable to me but, not neccessarily anyone else. He has my dad thinking of him as a "nice guy" and every time my dad sees him or comes into contact with him, he ends up telling me about what a nice and/or great guy, this man is. When I hear him say this type of stuff, I just get the urge to tell him everything that I mentioned in my original post to you guys but, up until this point, I've never actually had the guts to do so. So, I'm just going to try to take the encouragement that you guys gave me to finally blurt out the truth (as hard as it may be).
The good thing is that I haven't seen and/or come in contact with that guy in a while. :D

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Bright... he wouldn't think he was so nice if you told him about the touching hair incident. He may be using dad to get closer to you.
Carry mace with you or a small can of hairspray. Mace his face and run.

Even though you haven't seen the guy in while, it doesn't mean he isn't watching for you. Please don't forget to show your father everything we have written.

Post back and let us know how it goes. We are all very worried about you.