Quote:

---

I have met all of his familly... we've spent time with his daughter who says she becomes physically ill when seeing us together. I have written her a letter assuring her that I am not trying to take her dad away from her or trying to replace her mother. He asked her if she expected him to live the rest of his life alone... no answer.

---

In all honesty, I think that this man is pandering TOO much to the expectations of his adult children. I also think that it is not YOUR responsibility to negotiate, or state your intentions to his family - it is HIS.

The situation is ludicrous because they are essentially emotionally blackmailing their father with the memory of their mother. This is not about you making efforts to bring his family on-side, this is about him allowing himself to be manipulated.

I would suggest that an engagement 12 months after the death of his wife may be too soon for him. Clearly he doesn't have the wherewithal to stand up to his family, and at this stage you're not his priority.

If you want to continue the relationship, why don't you ask him to visit you for a while, so that you can get to know each other better without his children around? Give YOURSELF the time to decide if you want to be with him, and if you have the fortitude to deal with such manipulative people in your life.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gemini54

In all honesty, I think that this man is pandering TOO much to the expectations of his adult children. I also think that it is not YOUR responsibility to negotiate, or state your intentions to his family - it is HIS.

The situation is ludicrous because they are essentially emotionally blackmailing their father with the memory of their mother. This is not about you making efforts to bring his family on-side, this is about him allowing himself to be manipulated.

I would suggest that an engagement 12 months after the death of his wife may be too soon for him. Clearly he doesn't have the wherewithal to stand up to his family, and at this stage you're not his priority.

If you want to continue the relationship, why don't you ask him to visit you for a while, so that you can get to know each other better without his children around? Give YOURSELF the time to decide if you want to be with him, and if you have the fortitude to deal with such manipulative people in your life.

---

Thank you... I agree with you... sounds like a plan to me.

His children may or may never be able to adjust to your relationship. We cannot predict the future. So why not focus on the things that you can control?

I think that you should just focus on building a stronger relationship with this man. If you're both still willing to make this work, then keep moving forward. Continue to get to know each other better and enjoy the time that you do spend together, beit on the phone or in person.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by I wish

His children may or may never be able to adjust to your relationship. We cannot predict the future. So why not focus on the things that you can control?

I think that you should just focus on building a stronger relationship with this man. If you're both still willing to make this work, then keep moving forward. Continue to get to know each other better and enjoy the time that you do spend together, beit on the phone or in person.

---

Thank you... we are doing that.

Because they are selfish simple minded people and if he is not willing to cut the cord they will forever be controlling his life with or without you. Been there done that