Was dating this girl. It had been 2 months. We were physical as well. Been the best of friends and thought we loved each other a lot. One day then, I was contacted by her ex and he told me that she has been cheating on me. She use to meet him slyly and talk to him late nights telling me that she is out (when actually she was home talking to her ex). When I asked her, she got really panicy and eventually told me that she was scared to lose me and also that I would react in a very bad way.
Then she told me that, when her ex contacted her few days back, she was then confused who to be with and told me she has still feelings for her ex. So, she loved both of us then. But that time, she din't want to get back to her ex in spite of he being ready to do so.

During the next few months, I grew more and more insecure and couldn't trust her. I was thinking if she did love her ex, why was she physical with me? She told me it was just to keep me happy and she used to tell her ex that I fight a lot and will never commit to me.

The insecurities grew and the fights too. She kept talking and meeting her ex slyly. (I came to know later) I hated her for doing so, but she said that she has feelings for both. I agree, she is a sweetheart. I will never regret being with her cause she has made me smile lot of time and I have really enjoyed her company.

But she keeps on telling me that she is going to decide soon whom she wants to be with and clearly told me that her ex is more important to her than me and she loves him more than me too but told me to give her some time to decide. That's been happening since many months. Few days ago, she contacted me and told me she's going to decide after she comes back from her trip abroad.

Because of my insecurities (I'm a very short tempered guy) I have insulted her a lot and then felt very bad about it. Whenever she met her ex, I used to get really angry and make her cry. Say a lot of things, most of the times very hurting and she used to understand that it was out of jealousy.
I really couldn't control my jealousy but at the same time, in spite of spending these 8 months with me, she always gave me 2nd preference when it comes to her ex. Made me feel **** in front of him, insulted me. Told me to leave her alone when I used to contact her when she was with her ex. But would call back once she's done with her ex. But, I love her a lot, have enjoyed the time I have spent with her. She has really made me feel special and given me a lot of happiness.

She has been very unfair to me since last one month. Her ex told her that if she doesn't decide after coming back, he will go away. And in spite of promising me that she is with me during my exam times and monsoon, after what her boyfriend said, she called up and told me that as soon as she comes back she will decide.

She left today. Yesterday, I was out of town and I requested her, not to meet her ex cause I was feeling extremely uneasy. I have never asked her to do any thing. This was the only thing I requested but she said that I was being extremely unfair (Hasn't she been unfair to me all the time?) and in spite of me literally begging her not to be meet him for once, she met him. After I got really angry and started saying bad things, eventually she said that she has got other important people to talk to rite now who wants to say a good bye before she leaves. ( I agree she was being extremely sweet all the time, but I in my jealousy and anger was not reconciling and was just saying why did you do it)

She left for abroad. She spoke to her ex. I know she is going to come back and select him within a week.

She has still asked me to wait. But yest when she called me from the airport, I told her that I wanted to part ways, she just cut the call and never called back and left. I really want to move on. But I love her a lot.

Should I email her one last time saying how I felt about you and a good bye or just leave it and move on with my life?

It is clear she is still tied to her ex "told me she has still feelings for her ex" if she is meeting him with you not wanting to it is also clear she prioritises her ex above you. She has moved on with her life so you should too, this way you will be free from the stress that she is causing you.

Congratulations!

Your free!

She did not want you,she did not respect you nor love,she cheated on you.

I can read the anger in your post,and while I not condone the jealous behaviour,it is understandable,along with the anger you felt.

Let her walk away,disappear from her life,she has hurt you enough and left a legacy of mistrust.

Its up to you whether your willing to be used and abused once more,or are you going to pick up what's left of your dignity and say good riddence to her.

I met a girl 8 months back. We became friends. She was going through a rough patch in her relationship. We became friends and she got closer to me. I never had an intention of going further. But her boyfriend wasn't comfortable with her talking to me. Cause we used to talk late nights too. Eventually he broke up with her. As a friend, I told her to get back with him and we'd stop talking. But she din't. She came closer and closer to me and eventually we both fell in love. Later she confessed that her ex wasn't giving him much importance cause he was busy in building his career and she thought that she'll also show him that it doesn't matter to her and she'll also show him that he was doing a mistake.

Meanwhile we got closer, physical too. 2 months later, her boyfriend called her up again and told her that he wanted to get back. She got confused but told me that she told him that they should be friends. She kept telling me that she loved me. But spoke to him as well. And that made me uncomfortable now.

In few weeks I found out that she used to cheat on me and talk to her ex and kissed him once too. She cheated many times. Use to tell me that she is going out when she is at home talking to him.

I was really angry and I called and asked her and also told her that she's a cheat and insulted her. She apologized and told me that she was scared to tell me and she really got confused.

Now she kept telling me that she loved both and she wants time to decide whom to be with. Meanwhile she spoke to both. I always gave her a shoulder to cry on, always been there for her. Many times I caught her lying and told her and I was rude as well in telling her that she will always cheat and lie and never stop her habit.

Today after 8 months, she just cut complete contact. I knew that time was going to come sometime or the other, but just for the time we spent together and how close we were physically and emotionally.. she should have respected the relationship. She stopped picking up my calls and told me that she wants to cut contacts and gave a stupid reason. The reason was that she wants to get over me and she's not committing anyone. But she talks to her ex late nights, meets him often. Quite obvious what is happening.

I now hate her so much. She has always lied and cheated. But since I had feelings for her. I miss her too. We met almost everyday and I really miss spending time with her. I know she was a cheat but I get mixed reaction. Sometime I feel, it's okay.. if she's happy.. that's what I want.. but sometimes I really get angry and hate her for what she did and HOW SHE DID it. I called her yest to ask if there is something I can do to negate her decision. But she didn't pick and she said that she feels for me and wants to get over me. I've been trying to call her since few days. But she never picks up. She even told me that she just made out with me to keep me happy and she din't want it.

This was one of the sms she sent me.

''N even about saying love you to him was all part of being fair. I thought that since I haven't decided what I want I should try to keep both happy and say what I feel.. by saying love you to you and not to him I was being partial to you. I was just trying to be open. I'm sorry I went awry''.


And she kept on telling me that she is very scared of me and that's why she kept on hiding.

Sounds like she is confused however she is refusing to answer your calls to her so you should now go NO contact.

You'll find out more about NC and the rules on the Relationship Forum in the stickies at top of the first page. HERE

It would appear she's given you her decision by her ignoring your calls, and perhaps she is scared of hurting your feelings, or maybe you intimidate her by what you call her, and say to her.

No matter what though you need to go NC, for your own peace of mind and to get on with your life...

The phase 'what goes around comes around' comes to mind.

She has moved on or back,should I say.

Time for you to let this go,and move on with your life,go no contact,and start to heal.

There's a lesson here for you,don't get involved with some who is in a relationship or going through a rough patch with a boyfriend.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by redhed35

the phase 'what goes around comes around' comes to mind.

she has moved on or back,should i say.

time for you to let this go,and move on with your life,go no contact,and start to heal.

there's a lesson here for you,don't get involved with some who is in a relationship or going through a rough patch with a boyfriend.

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Have to spread some rep redhed35. You are so right.

You disrespected her relationship by getting involved, you can call it friendship. But talking to a girl who has a boyfriend all into the night is not cool. You don't be the crying shoulder to a girl having a bad time with her boy friend. That is asking for trouble.
Going off and calling her names is not cool either, but at any rate, she has let you know she wants nothing to do with you. Leave her alone.

How many times are you going to ask the same question, and get the same answers before you realize you don't chase a cheater, even after she dumps the dude she cheated on, because as you see she will cheat on you too.

You walked right into this situation with your eyes open. Now walk out of it.
Leave her alone and get a check on your temper.
She did to you what she did to her other boyfriend (with you by the way) Was she a liar and a cheater then? No, because it was with you.
Don't get mad at her, she is what she is and you ignored it because you were getting something out of it, her.

Still have to spread the rep.

OP you really really do need to open your eyes, was the shallow meaningless quick wham bam really worth all of this turmoil you're now obviously in, she didn't love you or want you and you really must learn to accept this and move on.

There's a lovely young lady out there some place with your name on her heart and whilst you waste time on this no hoper precious quality time with the one for you is ticking away.

Let it go, it died the death, go NC and get this nonsense out of your mind and head and then you can move on and find your dream girl.

This lots a nightmare it must be...