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Originally Posted by talaniman

Dear Sunflower,
I wouldn't ever trust you no matter all the I'm sorries you give, because I know the ex is still in the picture, and you have shown that you would disrespect me, whenever he came around. Thanks for the sex, but leave me alone, unless you get horny, and I will do the same. Thanks again, and see ya around.

Signed,
The new guy.

PS, leave a voice mail when your hot. And leave the other drama at home.


What self respecting guy would be into someone who has done that to them?? Get over the ex, and learn to be nicer, and respect folks. Sorry doesn't cut it, not even when you say it with sex.

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I never disrespected him, when we first started talking he asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I told him no, that I broke up with him three weeks a ago. That night when we went out for the date, it was suppose to be perfect. The mistake I made was, I had forgotten my cell phone in my car, so my ex boyfriend kept calling me and couldn't find me, so that's when he decided to take a ride to my house, maybe he thought something happened to me, because that's not like me to not answer my phone.

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Originally Posted by sweet1028

Wow! I don't want to sound mean and sorry if it sounds that way. But you said you needed space with your ex, well he's not really your ex then just the person you are spending time away from. Going and having sex with another man is not going to help your problems with the man that you are with. The new guy sounded very interested in you but lost interest after sex...sounds to me like he knew he was the rebound after the sex. A woman should not just give herself up to sex because she wants to show how sorry she is about something. What does he have to look forward to now? He has already had you in bed and maybe a little too fast which might have pushed him away rather than made him want to be closer to you. Good luck...

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I understand, maybe doing that wasn't the brightest decision. The new guy definitely wasn't in rebound either. I really liked the new guy a lot. I just made a mistake, I just wish I knew how to fix this, because I still can't get over the new guy, I think about him everyday. It hurts me so bad inside, I honestly wish I knew how to fix this with him

Yeah I guess putting a guy out in the rain because of an ex is not disrespectful. :rolleyes: How could I have thought that? :eek: It sure doesn't sound like innocent concern from your reaction.:(

If that had of been me :( I would not have liked it :mad: one bit. Most guys wouldn't. Any contact you make starts with a heartfelt apology, and whatever he deems is an appropriate response according to his feelings on the matter, so don't have any unrealistic expectations.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Yeah I guess putting a guy out in the rain because of an ex is not disrespectful. :rolleyes: How could I have thought that?? :eek: It sure doesn't sound like innocent concern from your reaction.:(

If that had of been me :( I would not have liked it :mad: one bit. Most guys wouldn't. Any contact you make starts with a heartfelt apology, and whatever he deems is an appropriate response according to his feelings on the matter, so don't have any unrealistic expectations.

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When I found out my ex was at my apartment, I panic. I parked my car somewhere not to far from my house, to speak to the new guy, I was trying to explain to him what was going on, because he knew something was up. I was saying to him, "the fact that I broke up with my ex three weeks ago, he still has a lot of feelings for me, that I think he is around the neighborhood to check if I'm home or not. While I was in the middle of talking to him, he decided to say "Well it looks like you hve issues going on, so drop me to my car" Then I said can "we talk this over". I was trying to kill time so my ex can leave the neighborhood. He was the one who decided to get out of the car under the rain

If you truly want the new guy, give it time between the falling out of you and your ex. Give the ex time to get completely out of your life, no more talking over whether you should be together or not or anything, no contact at all. Then after a while if the new guy is still available then meet him somewhere for lunch or something... start slow.

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Originally Posted by sweet1028

If you truly want the new guy, give it time between the falling out of you and your ex. Give the ex time to get completly out of your life, no more talking over whether you should be together or not or anything, no contact at all. Then after a while if the new guy is still available then meet him somewhere for lunch or somthing...start slow.

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I don't even think the new guy wants to even give it a chance. The other day I spoke to the new guy, I had said to him that I forgot what he looked like to send me or text me a picture of him. He told me that I had big plans.

I have always advised the people here to be wary of the drama that comes with dealing with some one who still has an ex in their lives. Who needs that drama in a new relationship? Resolve your old issues, and move beyond them, or I suspect it will happen again.

Read some of the other posts about how hard relationships are, or even dating some one, who still is involved in some way with the ex.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ot-256270.html
This is but an example of the concern new people have with exes of their new partners. Most people dump others just because of the unresolved feelings for the ex, and the anguish is confusing, and very hurtful, especially when they try to be such a good partner, they take it very personally when the partner goes back to someone they broke up with. Its no joke to them.

Seems obvious that your new guy wants no part of that drama. Maybe later after you have resolved that issue, but not now for sure.

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he asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I told him no, that I broke up with him three weeks a ago. That night when we went out for the date, it was suppose to be perfect. The mistake I made was, I had forgotten my cell phone in my car, so my ex boyfriend kept calling me and couldn't find me, so thats when he decided to take a ride to my house, maybe he thought something happened to me, because thats not like me to not answer my phone.

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Could you imagine what went through the new guys mind?

Could you imagine how he would feel if you had taken a call from a guy when your on a date?

From the ex no less??

Put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I have always advised the people here to be wary of the drama that comes with dealing with some one who still has an ex in their lives. Who needs that drama in a new relationship?? Resolve your old issues, and move beyond them, or I suspect it will happen again.

Read some of the other posts about how hard relationships are, or even dating some one, who still is involved in some way with the ex.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ot-256270.html
This is but an example of the concern new people have with exes of their new partners. Most people dump others just because of the unresolved feelings for the ex, and the anguish is confusing, and very hurtful, especially when they try to be such a good partner, they take it very personally when the partner goes back to someone they broke up with. Its no joke to them.

Seems obvious that your new guy wants no part of that drama. Maybe later after you have resolved that issue, but not now for sure.


Could you imagine what went thru the new guys mind?

Could you imagine how he would feel if you had taken a call from a guy when your on a date?

From the ex no less???

Put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel?

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Lol, your so funny and so right at the same time. Every time I read your post, you make me see things clearer. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

There are definite similarities with your attachment issues and your 'friends'.

Maybe it's time to focus on you exclusively.

Remember what you were like when you were single.

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

There are definate similarities with your attachment issues and your 'friends'.

Maybe it's time to focus on you exclusively.

Remember what you were like when you were single.

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It's funny you say that, I've never been single. I got married really young (18 years old) after I broke with my husband, I got with the man that I've been with for four years. I don't know what it's like to be single

Oh, the fun you have missed!! The feeling of freedom, and being happy with yourself, and what your doing is unbelievable. The best part is your free to pursue the options and opportunities you choose to.

Thank you

Ten days after, he called me, I said to him, WOW where have you been, that I thought he was dead, so we started talking. He mentioned the reason he had been acting so distance, is because of what happened that night, with my ex- boyfriend situation and the rain etc.. He really likes me and so on and so forth, we've been talking almost everyday since. I asked him, why is it that I don't know were he lives, he said is because he doesn't want any girls babysitting him, meaning someone watching his every move or stoping by unexpected. Last Monday we were suppose to meet, and he told me he was going to call me to let me know when his on his way. Five days passed I never heard from him. Saturday he called me five times, which I did not answer, and twice last night I still didn't answer. I really like this guy, I really wanted things to work. Should I call him back? Please help me, I am really confused on what to do.

Nlo he sounds like an at his convenience guy that only wants things his way.
He doesn't follow through with things.
He assumes instead of clarifying.
Moody
Inconsistent
Any guy that doesn't want you to know where he lives you need to be suspicious of because maybe he has something to hide----like a wife.

You can't count on this relationship going anywhere positive.

I just don't understand, If he is not interested, why did he call me all day Saturday, and twice on Sunday?

You are NOT his priority but he wants you open as an option when he has nothing else going on.

Help_ful
You have 41 posts here and 99.8% of them are hard to follow because of your txt, spelling and lack of punctuation. The site rule is no using txt.

Girl if he is just doing that I you know where he works right I say you confront him at work I mean it isn't that hard then text him saying I don't know how you really need to talk to him at your house if he goes there well ask him what is up and why he hasn't called ask everything you want to know and if he still wants that's great if he doesn't well don't live in the past I am sorry if I sound rude but that is me

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Oh, the fun you have missed!!!!!! The feeling of freedom, and being happy with yourself, and what your doing is unbelievable. The best part is your free to pursue the options and opportunities you choose to.

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Do not listen to him listen to me

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Originally Posted by rollie-pollie

girl if he is just doing that i you know where he works right i say you confront him at work i mean it isn't that hard then text him saying i don't know how you really need to talk to him at your house if he goes there well ask him what is up and why he hasn't called ask everything you want to know and if he still wants thats great if he doesn't well don't live in the past i am sorry if i sound rude but that is me

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Yeah listen to this and not Talaniman then you get him fired. Real good job.
Then he'll make sure he never talks to you again, May even get a PFA out against you.
Real good deal.