Ask Me Help Desk - PHENOMENAL First Date but she got a little too tipsy. Opinions?

Quote:

Originally Posted by YeloDasy

I did think about the declining to stay the night thing... some girls who dont normally put themselves out there might feel strange feeling rejected... but if you called her since then to hang out she can get over it.

Second, you are assuming she is looking for the samne things you are. She may just be looking for fun and not a serious relationship. You sound like a guy who would be great in relationships... maybe that scares her, she liked you too much, or she has something else she is thinking that you dont know about. Maybe wait a week or so, think of something specific you want to do, and invite her along. If she doesnt bite, then let it go. Give her a little time. But to be honest, she is not doing the right thing. She can at least respond to you. Maybe she is busy so give her some time. But after a week or so, she would be too busy for a relationship anyway!
Any girl would be happy to date you, you sound like great fun! She snoozes she loses!

Yelo thank you for your reply! The whole "not staying the night thing" as I've said is a little off to me and as my friend put it "girls have egos" too. Hey if that is how she felt then fine, that isn't somebody I'd like to associate myself with later. Should things have gone anywhere who knows how much honesty and integrity would exist in that relationship with that attitude.

You make a good point about our wants not aligning but at the same time I don't feel I really put myself, or my "wants" out there (this may have been a fault of mine). I don't approach the first few dates with any sort of "I'm going to find a long term relationship" agenda, I simply go out ot have fun and if something happens, it does. I will be honest and say I'm not actively pursuing anything serious but I'm not going to pass up something should it come along. Would I like to be in a relationship with somebody if things work, of course, but I'm not of the mindset that I will allow myself to "fall for" the first thing that appears good.

Like has been said, I've tried and the ball is in her court. Would have been nice to get to know her more but I'm not losing sleep and am simply looking forward to potential later and elsewhere.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

You have called her enough, now get on with what you were doing. Busy or not, if she was interested she would have let you know.

Agreed. I've done what I'm going to do. No use in wasting my time now!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corvas

I think most of the advice on here is BS.

It sounds like you really connected. If you guys get a long that easy, then that is something REALLY SPECIAL. I have dated lots of women and I have learned a few things.

One - they get nervous (just like us ;)
hence the drinking, etc.

Two - they often are seeking a man that will affirm them. sometimes that means waiting for you to really express your interest before reciprrcating (calling back in this case)

Three - nothing is better than laughing together. nothing.
If you guys laughed a lot, you found something worth working for.

Four - good women respect honesty. tell her exactly how you feel. that you don't want to come off as needy, but that it was so special, that you have to keep trying! she will be flattered by that. and if by some chance she's not into your honesty, or tries to leverage it against you, you don't want a BS player like that anyway.

best of luck!

Corvas I appreciate your feedback. I also appreciate the feedback of others. Each person has their own opinions and perspective so thank you for sharing those. I'm not going to say anything about your tact in approaching other's views (they've already addressed that) but at the same time I think everybody can agree that you make some valid points.

While I definitely don't have "feelings" per se for this girl (come on, first date) I do have an interest and was definitely intriqued by our interactions and what she did share. The date definitely left me "wanting more" which I think is the point of any good date. As has been said though I've done what I feel comfortable with without giving up any of myself respect and it hasn't been acted upon. No problem, her loss.

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

The above poster post is bs.^

Just because you dated alot of females it doesn't make your an expert.

This date he had with her was just one. What is he suppose to confess his love for her? :-O

I am a woman and he did everything right here. He went and venture and had a good date and reached out to her a number of times but she never reached back. He also did a really reaspectful thing on his date by leaving and not taking advantage of her while she was drunk. He get 2 thumbs up from me.

You can't get someone that doesn't want to be gotten. What exactly is he suppose to do? Keep chasing? She got his texts and vm, believe me.

To the OP, there is quality females out there that wouldn't bs you like this girl. But don't let this get you down. You pick yourself up and get out there. You gonna kiss a few frogs before you get to your princess.

Thank you. I know there are PLENTY of other women out there and really I'm not worried about it. I never "put myself down" or felt "depressed" about any of this, but was more curious than anything.

It is one of those things now that is just that, just a thing. Now I'm just wearing a smirk and shaking my head laughing at it and look forward to what else is out there. I'm not a guy who is willing to settle, I know what I have to offer and can provide and I know somebody will recognize that. Could be tomorrow, could be 10 years from now. Just living life, building myself and keeping that confidence. Its good.