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-   -   I just met a smart, capable, independent woman, Never happened before, I'm confused. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=275421)

  • Oct 30, 2008, 03:32 PM
    t3hm4d0n3
    Kk, I can do that. Geez when you put it like that, it totally freaks me out. Is that the way you see it? Holy crap, I am way off, I need to stop reading romance novels.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 03:37 PM
    t3hm4d0n3
    Ah crap, well live and learn, I hope I didn't screw the pooch when I told her that, aww damn, fackin fackin fack, well OK then, when you put it like that breath breath, and all that fun stuff, so you mean no sharing anything "really" personal, got to be all generic slight substance, like tofu?
  • Oct 30, 2008, 03:40 PM
    friend4u178

    I think bottom line is we are just telling you to slow down a bit and stop trying to overanalyze (sp) what she is thinking.

    Remember it's only been 3 weeks , and like starbuck said the 2 of you don't really even know each other yet.

    SLOW DOWN and enjoy the getting to know you phase.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 03:44 PM
    starbuck8
    I want to point something out here to you bud. You keep on repeating how "smart" she is. Is she intimidating to you because she's smart? There are all sorts of smarts. There are book smarts, street smarts, business smarts, and so on.

    Some of us can be smart in one area, and totally clueless in another, which is what is coming across to me with you. You say you are a smart guy, and she is a smart girl. I think you might be hung up on the "smart" thing a bit.

    At the end of the day, we are all just people with feelings, pasts, and flaws. Smart is as smart does... and then smart gets up and puts on one sock at a time and gets through their day, just like everyone else.

    Just because you are smart and beautiful, doesn't mean you are a good or bad person. Just because you are 'ugly' and broke, doesn't mean you are a good or bad person. The most beautiful and smart people can be the biggest A holes in the world, and vice versa.

    I got off on a bit of a tangent there, but I just think you are putting too much of your energy in the fact that she is "smart"

    It was just an observation, and I didn't mean to imply that you are a shallow person, but, but maybe just think about that, and what your motivation is :)
  • Oct 30, 2008, 03:48 PM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by t3hm4d0n3 View Post
    ah crap, well live and learn, i hope i didn't screw the pooch when i told her that, aww damn, fackin fackin fack, well ok then, when you put it like that breath breath, and all that fun stuff, so you mean no sharing anything "really" personal, gotta be all generic slight substance, like tofu?

    How 'bout lightly spiced tofu... LOL! Okay... add a couple more spices, but not too over spiced! :D That made me LMAO!
  • Oct 30, 2008, 03:53 PM
    High Max

    You need to keep this in mind. Read what I tell you well. You tell me that this woman is absolutely drop dead gorgeous wow. If this is the case, you can rest assured that men are probably CONSTANTLY hitting on her and trying to get her, trying to get her attention.

    This in mind, you are probably doing what every other man has done, trying to win her over and impress her. Do not try and win her over LOGICALLY, invoke positive, intense emotions when the two of you spend time together. Let me tell you that you almost need to bedazzle this woman and show her things that no other man has. Be more adventurous than any man she has met, take her sky diving, do something outrageous she wouldn't ever forget.

    You need to stand out to this one. Take a step back and look at yourself. You aren't the only intelligent man out there, you aren't the only deep man out there either. Many of the same kinds of men are probably trying the same thing you are. Why should she pick you over anyone else? What's so special about you? You must set yourself apart. When you two are together, drive her crazy, do fun things, make it unforgettable. Then afterwords, lay way low and act like she does with you. I'd be willing to put a few dollars down that this would give you more success than pursuing her constantly like EVERY OTHER GUY.

    As far as intelligence goes, I've seen gorgeous women with guys that are complete worthless ghetto losers. But you know what? For a lot of women, it's all about the FUN and EMOTION that a man can evoke in her mind, not how smart he is. If she wants enlightening conversation she can find that at a book club or philosophy/debate message board.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 04:07 PM
    High Max
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by starbuck8 View Post
    Can I have your phone number? LOL!...joking!...but can I? haha!

    Of course, would you like to go sky diving with me? ;)
  • Oct 30, 2008, 04:36 PM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by High Max View Post
    Of course, would you like to go sky diving with me?! ;)

    You guys are fuuunnnyyy! I've been skydiving Max! Loved it! But please don't ask me to climb a ladder! (or swing from a chandelier) LOL! :p

    Ps: Batman? (aka Friend) Are you asking me on a date? LOL!
  • Oct 30, 2008, 04:47 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by starbuck8 View Post
    You guys are fuuunnnyyy!! I've been skydiving Max! Loved it! But please don't ask me to climb a ladder! (or swing from a chandelier) LOL!! :p

    ps: Batman? (aka Friend) Are you asking me on a date? LOL!

    Only if you don't mind me picking you up in the Bat Copter :D
  • Oct 30, 2008, 04:51 PM
    t3hm4d0n3

    OK gotcha, so I'll kick back and see where this goes, no problem, your right about fixating on intelligence, I think I am really fixated on that, its not neccisarily that she's smart, because well I'm sure there are other gorgeous smart driven available women out there, of course. Its not a shallow thing, hot chicks are a dime a dozen, I'm not intimidated by that at all, what I am intimidated by is my reaction to her. But I think its been analyzed enough, you guys all had great advice, and thank you very much, I will pull back and let it ride, I just needed to get it off my chest before I went crazy. Thanks for listening too.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 04:51 PM
    starbuck8

    Not at all my dear! Will there be champagne?

    Okay, we are highjacking our bud's thread here. Pick me up at the castle Batman! I'll pack a bag. This better be good... LOL!
  • Oct 30, 2008, 04:57 PM
    t3hm4d0n3

    No biggie, thanks for the perspective, it appears I know next to nothing about women. So question, are most women like this? Or am I screwed and no one is the same and were all different and I might as well hang on for the ride? Your killing my calm I tell you, like natural birth control.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 04:58 PM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by t3hm4d0n3 View Post
    ok gotcha, so i'll kick back and see where this goes, no problem, your right about fixating on intelligence, i think i am really fixated on that, its not neccisarily that she's smart, because well im sure there are other gorgeous smart driven avaliable women out there, of course. its not a shallow thing, hot chicks are a dime a dozen, im not intimidated by that at all, what i am intimidated by is my reaction to her. but i think its been analyzed enough, you guys all had great advice, and thank you very much, i will pull back and let it ride, i just needed to get it off my chest before i went crazy. thanks for listening too.

    That's what we're here for! Come back when you need to talk, or figure things out and get them off your chest.

    Sorry 'bout the shameless flirting with the boyz! ;)
  • Oct 30, 2008, 05:05 PM
    High Max
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by t3hm4d0n3 View Post
    no biggie, thanks for the perspective, it appears i know next to nothing about women. so question, are most women like this? or am i screwed and no one is the same and were all different and i might as well hang on for the ride? your killin my calm i tell ya, like natural birth control.

    No they aren't, but a general rule of thumb is the more beautiful they are, the less clingy, more independent, and more picky they become. Which is why you need to set yourself apart from the same old boring man.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 05:06 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    t3hm4d0n3;1349162, she lives in another state :) we talk for about an hour each day, if that, I send her maybe a text or two a day, she rarely writes me back, she's busy a lot, running her own business, so I mean I give her space.
    There's part of the problem the distance, but it works in your favor here I think.

    The red flag to me is after 3 weeks, you think you have a relationship, but you don't. Your barely dating. Make no mistake, she is interested, but reserved enough not to just fall in your lap and just make this to easy.

    Stop thinking, have a great time dating, and getting to know each other. That's all you need to do, just keep it simple and make sure she enjoys the time you spend.

    Going slow, is have patience and don't push, (as in thinking your in an exclusive committed relationship after 3 weeks). You don't wonder if she likes you, you just in joy the company, and go about your business as you always have.

    She is not a computer, so logic is out the window, and again as long as she is going out with you, enjoy it, and don't try to figure her out, and see where your at in 6 months let say. Till then... forget the texts, stay casual, relaxed, and interesting.

    Your probably as busy as she is. Appreciate when you get together but don't quite your life for a female that's long distance.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 05:11 PM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by t3hm4d0n3 View Post
    no biggie, thanks for the perspective, it appears i know next to nothing about women. so question, are most women like this? or am i screwed and no one is the same and were all different and i might as well hang on for the ride? your killin my calm i tell ya, like natural birth control.

    Hang on for your life! It's going to be a bumpy ride! :eek:

    I can't speak for all women, but have you ever heard of a guy that has figured us out? If he said he did, he was lying his A$$ off. That goes for you guys too! You're not off the hook that easy! ;)

    Here's some homework for you. Stand in front of the mirror, smile,. and repeat these words. 'Yes Dear... No Dear... I won't go golfing today Dear,. my friends?. I only need you Dear... Yes Dear! Say that 10 times in a row, take a valium, and call me in the morning!
  • Oct 30, 2008, 05:11 PM
    High Max
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by starbuck8 View Post
    You guys are fuuunnnyyy!! I've been skydiving Max! Loved it! But please don't ask me to climb a ladder! (or swing from a chandelier) LOL!! :p

    ps: Batman? (aka Friend) Are you asking me on a date? LOL!

    I could never do such a thing, I mean I need a woman who can climb the ladder for me and change out the light bulb while I watch TV with one hand in my pants while I drink a beer! Our relationship just wouldn't work. :P
  • Oct 30, 2008, 05:17 PM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by High Max View Post
    I could never do such a thing, I mean I need a woman who can climb the ladder for me and change out the light bulb while I watch TV with one hand in my pants while I drink a beer! Our relationship just wouldn't work. :P

    Mr. Bundy? Did you meet your shoe quota for the day? :p
  • Oct 30, 2008, 05:25 PM
    t3hm4d0n3

    Well just put me in my place talaniman :), your absolutely correct, and I didn't say we had one yet, just that we had agreed to take it to that point if things didn't go off the hizzle, that's the directness I spoke of shining through :D lol, man according to everyone I've talked to she should have run away screaming like a while ago. I really screwed the pooch on this one huh? :D lol, that's awesome, well I'm going to leave it in her hands, I'm a crazy fool, and I'm a helpless romantic, and I love me for it. I don't want a woman who doesn't want me for who I am, crazy or no, so I guess I'm screwed, but I will take it slow, and cut back on telling her how I feel. What's up with that though? I am really that weird though huh? Damn, and here I thought I was near perfect ;).
  • Oct 30, 2008, 05:36 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by t3hm4d0n3 View Post
    well just put me in my place talaniman :), your absolutely correct

    That's why he's the EXPERT Levi :)

    Listen to the T-Man!!

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