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Originally Posted by truefaith

woh woh woh woh wohhh

pull the rains back bud you are thinkg wayyy to much abou this

she texted you saying sup babe.
And gave you a pretty good reason.

Dont let that little needy monster get the best of you :)

in my opinion you have nothing to think about. She is busy and so are you
you are both making time when you can.

So. Stop thinking about what ifs and blowing me off. Because that is just not good
and just enjoy the time you get when you are together.

Yeah its been a while since you have had a date. But all the better to build up for the next one right?

You are not very rational at this point. As i have said you have just left a heavy relationship and you are putting your own fears and jugments onto her.
Which is not fair on her or on you.

So what you need to do is
just relax. Breath.. And take it slow :)

when she text you next time. Say something like.

When you get a chance would love to take you out for a coffe and a smile. I could use a brake from my work.

Just so its not all about her ;).

Good luck

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Agreed.

Its still early days

Don't take anything yet

Just wait and see

As I said don't text her wait for her to text you I am sure she will

Best of luck

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Originally Posted by kitten420

agreed.

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Kitten hon, it's easier to click on "rate this answer" and give an agree that way! ;) Just thought I'd let you know. That way you spread reputation, if you agree with someone. :)

I know lol I was trying to figure out how to do it! Lol Oh and also I did try and give True a rating but it said I have to share the reputation around and I couldn't give her another agree bc/ I think I already did earlier in the day. So I just did it the way I used to when I didn't know how to give a rating. Thanks though!

Just cause I'm new doesn't mean I'm not smart! :) If a woman is occupying her free time with other things.. and never making time for you.. and making sure you know it.. all the time.. I would take the train to find a new chickville.. Being serious I know it will hurt, and it will be hard, but find something or someone else to occupy your time, She obviously doesn't appreciate it.

Well I think from the events of the original post through to the text updates, I'm going no contact. That's established.

But can someone give me some insights on the 360 shift?

I still find it odd that someone can go from calling me on Saturday because she missed me, to ignoring me within 24 hours. I mean she's 24, and from what I know, a sensible, intelligent girl. Almost seems a little juvenile high school.

Haha, surely nothing I said in our 5 minute conversation could have caused her change.

Mate :) why do people cheat on there lovers after 16 years. And leave kids and there lives behind..

The reasons are never good enough my friend.
And there is no point in trying to find a reason.

But nothing has happened yet. Give it a few days and see how it goes :)
Until then try not to think about it.

I know its hard.

It is a little confusing, why she would do that. Do you have friends in common? Could someone have said something that she took the wrong way? Could your ex have said something to someone, and something was said to her? Does she have an ex that she recently split with? It's really hard to speculate. Give it time.

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Originally Posted by starbuck8

It is a little confusing, why she would do that. Do you have friends in common? Could someone have said something that she took the wrong way? Could your ex have said something to someone, and something was said to her? Does she have an ex that she recently split with? It's really hard to speculate. Give it time.

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No common friends. She doesn't know me ex. She hasn't been in a relationship for awhile. She was very stable and intelligent. I have no idea what happened, as I've never experienced anything like this before.

Does anyone have any opinions? I've pretty much given up on pursuing this girl, but some knowledge would at least help me prevent/mitigate this in the future with someone else.

The only thing I can remotely think of, is that she used to joke about how I was seeing other girls. And the last two/three times I spoke to her, I may have come off as terse or hurried. I can only surmise that she thought I was being an elusive jerk. But she never said anything about it, and 24 hours is a short amount of time for her to write me off. Regardless, I thought she would be more mature than to suddenly flip her lid like that.

The only thing that I could really think of in this case is one of two things.

1. She got bored.
2. She met a new guy.

This is just what I think though.

I think your assuming the worst and acting pretty insecure, and needy here, as its way to early for her to even cancel her schedule, or stroke your ego.

Back off of that, and the high unreasonable expectations you have, and balance your life a lot better.

Forget NC, that's not needed, just readjust your attitude, and stop putting her schedule ahead, of your own personal life. Stop taking her busy schedule as a personal affront to your ego.

Have your own stuff to do, giving her space, and making you look confident (which you should be any way), and give it 3/4 days, and send a funny text, and go about your business. Don't expect a quick reply.

Why do you young guys have to be in such a hurry to have someone show love??

Way to soon for anything like that, but the way you react is what will attract her, or push her away. Making a big deal now over... nothing.

Even if this doesn't work, you still have a life that you enjoy.

What is the hurry?? That's what going slow is about.

Talinaman, sage advice as usual. I'm being brash and a little too impulsive. Having said that, I still think her 'I'm too busy indefinitely' message was giving me the hint.

I'll go about life as usual and maybe send her a message in 3 days or so.

With the benefit of hindsight, bookstore girl used to joke all the time about how she thought I was seeing other girls. Combined with the fact that I gave her very little attention last week and didn't call her quickly enough to secure another date probably fizzled her interest a lot. Live and learn.