Ask Me Help Desk - Not worth loving?

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I can't respect women after what I've gone through.

And they know it and run.

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Even after my careful attention to my profile and trying to put some decent but not too well done pictures to show what I look like, they are just ignored.

You're trying to hard, and they see it.

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Of the women I went out on a date with, two of them were 30 pounds heavier than their pictures online.

I guess women aren't the only ones that are concerned with looks.

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That leaves the remaining 4 of the dates I got being women who I would consider "average" looks. Not even good looking but attractive enough for me to be intereseted in dating. None of them ended up being worth dating.

How so? And if you didn't find them worthy, how is that their fault?

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The fourth woman was the one I described last night and I got a second date and actually liked her and she gave no indication she wasn't into me. I was feeling so nice and tried to keep calm but happy and show her who I am. She was NOT at all perfect looking but seemed like someone I could really love someday after more time together.

Two dates and you're already planning a future? Most women can sense that too, you probably aren't as subtle as you think.

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It's sad and I've tried very hard to figure out some way to make myself desirable both physically and mentally/emotionally. I worked hard, devoted my full attention and as much money as I could to dress nicer, smell nicer, get a hair cut that fits my hairline and face and looks decent enough.

If you are that superficial about yourself, is it any wonder you only meet superficial women?

Are you getting the picture yet? You say you're a smart guy, well then open you mind and read what we are saying. Can that many people be wrong? Hmmm?

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Originally Posted by sadguy73

I am not this way by choice but this way by experience. You cannot judge why I've changed from someone sincere and kind into someone thoroughly fed up until you walk in my shoes for all those lonely years.

Really? Until I've walked in your shoes? Really? Try my shoes on for size buddy, and then we can talk about walking in someone else's shoes!!

Ex #1 Came home to find him in my bed with a stripper, and she sat laughing at me while he packed his bags to leave.

Ex #2 Beat me until I was black and blue, and broke almost every imaginable bone in my body, after he has stripped me of every ounce of self esteem or dignity I had

Ex #3 Stole money from me, and then broke into my home, and broke my ribs, cheekbone, bruised my lung and seriously injured my hip at Christmas time.

That is the extremely condensed version there my dear! Now would you like to discuss walking in someone else's shoes?? C'mon, I can take it!

One thing I DON'T do, is go around judging people, and whining that no one gives me a chance. If you want to talk trust issues, we can go there too! Bring it!

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

sadguy, you have a huge chip on your shoulder, I can see it from here. Until you break it down and get rid of it, you won't get anywhere. That's the truth, like it or lump it.

Good luck.

For the record I never acted like I had a chip on my shoulder for one minute until now. Now I've had it. I'm not going to be stepped on, not one more time by any woman emotionally. I'm done. 99.9999% of women are materialistic and looks driven. They may hide it stealthfully behind a ton of excuses why they don't like this guy or that guy, but rest assured, it's there. Very likely genetically. It appears to be a part of female human nature. I have been alone all my life without a real relationship. I've been the nicest guy for so long with a broken heart and lonely. I have learned to be alone and if I never have anyone from now on, I can accept that. After I'm making more money in another 8 years on my own, I will adopt a child and be the best father. I'll be alone but always the best man I can be. I know I never deserved to be alone, but nature didn't leave me any choice. I know I tried. With all my heart & will. I know when to walk away from fantasy land and face reality and that time is now. Life for me cannot be what it is for others and I need to face that. I'm not mad and don't have a chip on my shoulder. I'm just really disappointed that the lies people tell everyday about love just aren't true. The reality is something far different.

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Originally Posted by starbuck8

Really?? Until I've walked in your shoes?? Really?? Try my shoes on for size buddy, and then we can talk about walking in someone elses shoes!!!!!

Ex #1 Came home to find him in my bed with a stripper, and she sat laughing at me while he packed his bags to leave.

Ex #2 Beat me until I was black and blue, and broke almost every imaginable bone in my body, after he has stripped me of every ounce of self esteem or dignity I had

Ex #3 Stole money from me, and then broke into my home, and broke my ribs, cheekbone, bruised my lung and seriously injured my hip at Christmas time.

That is the extremely condensed version there my dear! Now would you like to discuss walking in someone elses shoes??? C'mon, I can take it!!

One thing I DON'T do, is go around judging people, and whining that no one gives me a chance. If you want to talk trust issues, we can go there too!! Bring it!!

At least you had an ex. Not my fault that you chose the wrong guys to date.

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Originally Posted by sadguy73

At least you had an ex. Not my fault that you chose the wrong guys to date.

You are a heartless shell of a little man!

Wow

... even as a guy, I really think there are some things you have to work on if you ever want a girlfriend. I mean, sure, I sometimes complain that girls are materialistic, but I know that there are TONS of girls out there that are not.

I know that the women here giving you advice is probably NOT what you want to hear, but I got to say, I agree with them. In this case, it isn't them... it's you.

As a guy, what I suggest is...

1. Quit trying so hard.
2. Get your head out of your @ss. You say you're this and you're that... and the girls' response is... "So...the...f...what?"
3. All women aren't evil. They all TURN evil after you marry them. But they usually don't Start being evil.

Best of luck, bud.

You know what Sadguy, you were correct and I was wrong. You are not a nice guy at all. You are something of a jacka##. When I first read you, I was really on your side. I did make the mistake of thinking you were a nice guy. You are not a nice guy. Women are not rejecting you because of your looks, they are rejejecting you because you are rude and negative and phony. It actually sounds like you hate women. You have bigger issues. I'll have you know, my husband is one whole inch shorter than me and I love him with my entire heart. Maybe you should try men, clearly you hate women. In any case, congratulations on turning another woman totally off. You Mr. Smart A@@ know it all are spiteful and karma will always come back to you, like it or not. Your karma is fake and negative so that is what you are going to keep getting.

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Originally Posted by sadguy73

At least you had an ex. Not my fault that you chose the wrong guys to date.

And more proof as to why you are single, lack of sympathy, lack of empathy.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

And they know it and run.

And these women read minds how?

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You're trying to hard, and they see it.

Trying is bad how? If she was a good person she would get to know me and not let that get in the way. You are wrong here and it shows you are judgemental and don't want to understand.

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I guess women aren't the only ones that are concerned with looks.

I don't want to be with someone who doesn't take care of herself. That's not a bad thing. Would you date a man who showed no self-control and was a fat slob who didn't shower and put his best foot forward? Get real. If you say otherwise you would be lying.

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How so? And if you didn't find them worthy, how is that their fault?

I explained. They were disrespectful of me. The religious woman could have read my profile on the dating site which clearly indicates that I'm "non-religous". Talking about Jesus like he's a third person on our date wasn't respectful.

The women who was an hour and a half late then got mad at me for becoming irritated at the 4th phone call saying she would be more late, wasn't respectful. For the record, she offered no excuse. She had over 3 hours to get ready and arrive on time.

The woman who wouldn't make eye contact was either really socially challenged, which I don't buy, or she was flat out being rude. That was disrespectful.

The woman who went out on a second date, waited for me to pay for her dinner before letting me know she didn't think we were a 'match' was disrespectful and selfish. My buddies at work felt bad for me and thought she was a jerk.

That's after a year and a half of trying to find someone on various dating sites and 375+ pride swallowing rejections and many previous years of being ignored in bars and being called 'too skinny' by girls for many years when I was younger. How exactly should I feel? I think I've been pretty damn adult and forgiving for all the humiliations I've suffered. I've gotten back up off the mat more than Rocky Balboa after being knocked down. And took each one like a good sport, not holding grudges. Now, it's just one too many. I'm tired. I'm beat. I'm getting too old for this .

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Two dates and you're already planning a future? Most women can sense that too, you probably aren't as subtle as you think.

You know, I expected this one. That was a feeling inside. Something private. I clearly didn't share that with her. I don't think she could sense it. I don't think it was wrong for me to be hopeful after all the failures. If you were me, you would hold onto any shred of hope you had inside. To point that out here shows how mean you are.

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If you are that superficial about yourself, is it any wonder you only meet superficial women?

After years of rejection and being told I was skinny and feeling inadequate, I think I have a right to want to improve myself and try to look my best. You admitted you were always good looking and could have anyone you wanted. Big talk from someone who doesn't know what it's like to live alone and wish he didn't have to for many hard years struggling to improve through depression and feelings of hopelessness.

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Are you getting the picture yet? You say you're a smart guy, well then open you mind and read what we are saying. Can that many people be wrong? Hmmm?

Yes. Many people can be wrong. In Iran, a woman was stoned to death by 50 people including relatives for being raped. Could that many people be wrong?

Sandguy, I give up, it's guys like you that I've avoided my entire life. Not because of looks, regardless of what you think, but because of your diseased soul and mind.

You are wrong about women, how do I know, I AM ONE!

Anyway, good luck, unless you change your attitude, all the plastic surgery, work outs, and hair transplants in the world aren't going to help. It's what's inside of you that is ruining your chances at happiness, it's the fact that you are miserable, and have no problems trying to spread that misery, that's why you are alone.

Good luck, you really need it.

The reason everyone started saying the things they were to you, was because right off the bat, you started attacking any woman that tried to give you advice. I never once called you "evil", and if you can find that quote, I would certainly like to see it.

I am not about to explain to you the circumstances of my relationships. Again, you do NOT know that I had the power to leave, so please stop making those assumptions, and again, you do not know how things unfolded, or anything about my ability to choose a mate.

And yes, many times I have sat at a table or in a room of people and been ignored, so yet again another assumption on your part. Your approach towards everyone here seemed so mean spirited, no one got a chance to tell you any of their experiences.

How do you know I'm alone? Yet once again, another assumption, and rude remark. We were not being jerks, we were reacting to the rudeness you were shoveling out towards us.

I would suggest you read back the things you yourself have written.

Sadguy, we gave good advice, whether you feel it was sincere or not, there's nothing we can do about that. I for one was sincere in my advice to you, if you didn't like it you could have just moved on, read another post that fit what you wanted to hear more than what you heard from me.

It wasn't until you started acting rude, telling us to shove our advice, that it's all a bunch of junk, that we started giving you back tit for tat. If you think you can treat a bunch of women like your own personal whipping toy, well buddy I've got news for you, you picked the wrong group of women.

I too have been abused by many of the men in my life, starting from a very young age. I had a guy smash my head into the windshield of his car when I was 15 because I wouldn't have sex with him, then he beat me up because his windshield broke, I still have the scar. I was raped when I was 18, barely made it out alive. When I was a child I was molested, albeit not by a male, but by my female cousin who was 13, I was 5. So do not pass judgement on others. I suppose I had choices then too right? Did I choose to be molested? Did I choose to be raped? Did I choose to become a human punching bag. I was 96 pounds soaking wet when I was 15, no match for a 6 foot tall 210 pound 19 year old.

You have been nothing but rude since your second post on this site, and you wonder why we fought back. If you want meek women who will put up with your abuse, then you're in the wrong place.

Good bye!

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Originally Posted by sadguy73

I was the first to be attacked/insulted in here. get that right.

Incorrect my friend , read post #5 , that's where it all started!!

Thread closed,

Original poster did not appear to really want to hear some good answers, and then everyone else should not have fought back when they got rude