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Originally Posted by Dana2007

there are worse ways to break up. She could have taken your money with her. Beat you up. Cut your tires up. Left you for another guy.

Be glad all she did was break up with e-mail.

I think it's more than how she broke up but that she hurt your feelings for dumping you. It's natural to feel hurt and sad when dumped. Watch some sports or a movie you enjoy or something else you enjoy. Soon you won't even remember her.

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Say what?

Sorry posted that in the wrong place.

Since your going together and not married, maybe your expectations of how he spends his money is to high, and simply communicating, would be your best option. Living with mom, maybe he helps her out, and is saving for retirement. Actually, its his business, but its your to express your concerns.

I would strongly advice to anyone who is thinking about getting married to request to see your future partner's financial statements. You have a right to know what they are doing with all of their income. Make sure he is not wasting it on drugs, alcohol or gambling. You don't want to have to end up being responsible for someone else's bills.


Don't just take his or anyone's word that he is spending it on his mother or saving it. Demand proof.


The boyfriend could be saving it but the girlfriend better see proof before she ditches out any more of her money. Girlfriend needs to keep her money in the bank also.

Not to play devil's advocate but how aware are you of his financial situation? Maybe he has expenses that you aren't aware of? Also, maybe he exaggerates his "good salary" with his "good company" in an attempt to impress you. Does he have to pay for his own health insurance? How about saving for retirement? These days, fewer and fewer "good companies" offer such things to their employees. Thereby making them pay for them themselves. Also, you yourself said you pride yourself on "being an independent woman." He probably looks at that as "letting him off the hook", so to speak (one of the downsides of feminism, in my opinion.) Either way you look at it, it doesn't sound like you or anyone else is going to change him. He is who he is. You need to decide whether that's something you can live with. Obviously I don't know the whole picture but I will say that there are many character traits that are far worse than what you've described here.

He should stay home and not go out to a restaurant if he can't afford to pay.

He should not be eating off anyone.

If he has other expenses and can't afford to eat out, he should stay home and not eat out.


He should not be spending beyond his means and he shouldn't expect anyone else to either. Why is he spending beyond his means?


If he can't afford to spend a lot of money on christmas presents, he should say so. If he was a thoughtful and considerate person, he would tell her not too spend too much on his Christmas present. But instead he stays quiet and hope that she will spend a lot of money on him.

Money problems are a big problem. Money problems are a serious problem. A lot of people get divorced over money problems so this is a big and very serious issue.

It sounds like he is just cheap,he has never had to put out for other people. After 2 years he should be more aware of your feelings. If he does not do right for your birthday,it may be time to "kick him to the curb!"

I think you should drop him - you can do without that type of behavior