I agree that the age difference IS a BIG difference at the early ages the two of you are. I was in a similar situation. I was 20 he was 16. I was involved in the church but he was not. So, it wasn't the ethical and biblical issue to him as it was to me. Looking back 20 years later, yes, I cared for him very deeply, but I see now where it was vitally important to have waited. No, 20 years later we are not together. We went our separate ways for several reasons. That makes it all the better that we didn't attempt the relationship to begin with. I respect myself ~~ and him ~~ for NOT having engaged in the behavior and pursing the relationship at the time. It would not have Honored or Respected his mother by disregarding what she wanted for her 16 year old son. As others have said to you, he is a minor... you are legally an adult. The responsible (not necessarily easy) thing to do is to W-A-I-T! And Y-O-U need to be the one to take that step and set the example! Hope you get to the other side of this without too much difficulties. Blessings

I just wanted to make another point. Before I do I want to make it clear to anyone who may be confused that I am not "preaching" at this girl, nor am I trying to attack people with religious ideas. I am quoting the Bible because this girl has made it quite clear that she is a Christian, therefore I feel the Bible is a good resource for her. Don't want anyone to think that I'm trying to force religion on them or anything...

QUOTE=OnewayJesus].
. Therefore we are a secret and have been for a few months. We wanted to ensure that it was genuine and not 'lust'.
QUOTE]


Do you find him attractive at all? Have you ever kissed or wondered what it would be like to kiss? Then here's another verse for you:

Matthew 5:28 "(Jesus' words)...But I say unto you that anyone who looks on a woman (or boy) with desire has already committed adultery in his/her heart..."

If it was platonic, it wouldn't need to be a secret. The fact that you have singled this boy out from the others for your romantic attention, means that you find him attractive on some level. I don't care if you're having sex or not. Since you maintain that you are coming at this from a Christian viewpoint, I'm sure you will appreciate what Jesus had to say. The passage is discussing the fact that looking at someone who you have no business looking at, and seeing them as attractive is the same as sleeping with them in God's eyes. I mention it because you seem to think as long as you keep your pants on it's right. Morality goes beyond the letter of the law.

If you disagree with my interpetation, once again, that is a great thing to discuss with your minister. I do hope you are'nt a youth pastor at the church. I am shocked your parents would support you keeping it a secret. It doesn't matter if you grew up with this boy or not. How would they have felt if you were seeing a 21 year old man in secret when you were 16?

Also, if he is going to church to spend time with you and vice versa, it's still dishonest. I mean if he says "Mom, I'm going to church to volunteer" she has no idea that he's really there to see someone with a romantic interest in him. It's a lie by ommission. It's misleading, disrespectful, and you are encouraging it!

Stop hiding behind Christianity. If you were that concerned about doing the right thing, you would have either told this kid there could be nothing between you and it is inapporpriate even to discuss it at his age, or you would have gone to his folks and asked for permission. You need to find someone your OWN age, or wait till this kid has a chance to grow up!!

First don't be sorry if you are preaching to someone, there are a lot of times people need to be preached to so they will learn and know what is right and wrong. I preach to people a lot and proud of it.

And yes, that was thepoint of my last post I am tired of people thinking that by saying they are Christian it makes it right, all it does is hurt the opinion of others on people who are christian.

As you said that people can get married at 16! You know everything well.even about law! What you need is not help or advice but confirmation about your relationship from other people.if you really want to do something which is legal,you don't need others' confirmation! But one thing I think you should understand is that what he experiences in his teenage is very important for his whole life. If you really love him,why can't you be patient and wait? If I felt in love with one boy who is only 15, I will feel guilty and unhappy if I was with him!

Isn't love what really matters?who cares what other people think. Just do your own thing

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fourahman

isn't love wat really matters?who cares what other people think. just do ur own thing

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The problem here is that a 16 yr old doesn't really know what love is. And that love isn't all that really matters. There are many factors that can ruin a relationship even if love really exists.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fourahman

isn't love wat really matters?who cares what other people think. just do ur own thing

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You don't tell that to a phedopile, unless you are one.

wow
you were attacked a lot ^_^

the most important thing is to tell his parents then base your next decision on their reaction and view on it
people mentioned that parents wouldn't let someone that old date their child at that age but I think its different
they might see the young adults as more of a threat in pulling their kid into a situation not ready for them than a kid their age would
but if they know you then it wouldn't be as much of a problem
since you mentioned that you grew up with him hopefully the parents met you

you already thought about this a lot so you already know the choices you can choose you just need to narrow them down
to tell other people about it I would either just tell the ones your close with about it and the others can just figure it out or just don't tell anyone and they will notice it if they can

the most important thing is telling the truth
especially with each other

there is so much more I want to add but I forgot what it was

also I'm sorry you were called child molester and a pedophile so many times
but it did make me laugh how many times you were yelled at
good luck ^_^