Originally Posted by kp2171
i have a beautiful wife who works in a male dominated field. she takes trips to exotic places. like canada. ok, sometimes mexico or germany or even wisconsin.
point is she gets hit on. men flirt with her. while alone in a hotel. sometimes she flirts back a little too. shes good at it. ive been in the same bar with her, shes playing pool with young guys who are willing to buy her vodka cranberry all night long and get their butts beat in pool.
i think its a little sexy even.
and yes, i am a jealous man... its just that i trust her more than my jealously causes me to act. a few months ago a coworker hit on her hard. a little too hard. was all i could do to restrain myself after i found out. i am jealous, but i also trust her.
now... in your case... is it wrong to flirt? depends. my situation is that i know she does a little from time to time, i know shes coming home to me, and i know the energy shes putting into the occasional flirtation isnt detracting from our marriage emotionally or sexually.
but... you and i both know that people are stupid and weak. and even if you and he were willing to walk a dangerous line that you never cross, theres always the issue of the bf.
i think if you believe your behavior wouldnt be supported by your bf, then you are not being fully true to the relationship.
so, if you need to hide it, it probably isnt ok for the relationship. not a bad general rule when evaluating gray areas.
i had a friendship with a girl i never dated. we were both seeing other people. we had extreme sexual energy between us. we were able to walk the line, but it wasnt easy, and it took work for us both to know when to back off. my partner at the time knew enough, from what id told her, to understand the situation... and she was ok with it, but i dont think most people would be.
so.... in the end you probably need to be the one to keep things in check. just cause he asks about your bf doesnt mean a thing. he might be seeing if theres a problem, or he might be letting you know he doesnt care that you have a bf...
so... dont feel bad about the sexual energy. you are going to need to learn to live with it from time to time if you intend to be in a monogamous relationship.
its faulty to think you fall in love and are never attracted to another soul on this earth. so the attraction is fine. the flirtation is maybe ok, maybe not. and mentally, dont let yourself get too distracted from your relationship. at least make the distraction worth the potential consequences.
that said... i think youd better be even more careful with a married man who flirts. the guy i wanted to put through a wall when he flirted with my wife hard has been married a short time. i can tell you right now hes going to cheat on her the first time her gets a chance. though id bet it wont be the first time...
