So... I was handling one of only a few handling most of the secured communications that made the first gulf war possible, FROM overseas. We were in a similar situation then.
Lets see, if YOUR kids get killed in a home invasion... then I can argue its really no different than when it happens to someone across the country.
When I heard the Pentagon was burning... I didn't turn on the TV... I went outside and could see it from the roof of my office.
When they listed the fatalities in the paper... the names of the two guys I worked with all night were in it. To this day I don't know how many other people in that office died, beyond the two names I recognised. I had no way of finding out. It was destroyed, and the Military wasn't going to divulge that info anyway. Thing called "Need to know".
Don't pretend it effected you the same when you didn't know people that actually died... saw them only a few hours earlier, and was almost there yourself, and should have been.
Empathize all you want... but unless you were actually there, you can't grasp its totality.
Ever try that line with a Combat veteran? What response did you get out of curiousity?