Ask Me Help Desk - Parental rights

Ex is right being gay is not learned. My uncle is gay he watched me all the time as a kid guess what I'm not gay. Here is a little light read for you describing how a gay man's brain looks a lot like a woman's brain.

A Gay Man's Brain Looks a Lot Like a Straight Woman's Brain | 80beats | Discover Magazine

All right, this is getting out of hand. For some reason, as soon as someone says that "being gay isn't learned", somehow everyone believes it.

Sorry, but there is no strong evidence to prove that fact.

There is a guy by the name of Dr. Patrick Carnes, a PhD (psychology) who specializes in sexual addictions and abnormalities. He has written many books on the subject of sexual addictions, and his seminal work is called "Out of the Shadows", and describes sexual addition.

Within his writings he speaks about the "arrousal template" of his patients, and how, in most cases, he can trace a person's arrousal template to specific incidents from the patients' pasts. That is, how a person is sexually arroused today is affected by what they have experienced in the past.

A person who is arroused by S&M or bondage might have experienced being tied up as a child, or even just seen pictures or read stories of someone else being tied up. It doesn't even have to be in a sexual context. However, within their minds the act of being tied up or tying up others became sexually arousing.

A woman who tends to find herself in multiple abusive relationships may have had abusive parents who treated her the same way her significant other does now. Or her teachers might have told her she was a bad girl who needs to be punished, and she believed it. Or she may have had an experience that linked abuse with acceptance... a close "friend" who had emotional power over her by treating her like crap. In any case, past experience leads to current behaviors.

A homosexual might have seen someone of the same sex who for some reason was sexually arousing. Again, the context may not have been sexual, but the link between same-sex and sexual arousal was built on that "template".

The evidence of this is annecdotal at this point. There is, to my best knowledge, no solid evidence of the "arrousal template" concept based on hard numbers. It's hard to get hard numbers on this stuff because the topic is so touchy. But it is a hypothesis that most therapists of patients in abusive relationships accept as valid. They use that information to understand their patients better. And at least in the cases put forth by Carnes, the hypothesis seems to hold true for the vast majority of patients.

What this means is that homosexuality is NOT necessarily a "natural", unlearned behavior, but most likely also has an experiential component.

Spit, if you like stuff about brainscans, I suggest that you check out the works of Dr. Daniel Amen. What he has found using live SPECT scans is that sex addicts, drug addicts, food addicts, bulemics, anorexics, and people suffering from body dysmorphia all have similar brain scans. Interesting stuff, and important too, because what it means is that there is a similarity between sexual "abnormality" and other forms of mental illness and addiction. There is a similar split between the frontal lobe and the cortex. Which means there is a split between the part of the brain that makes decisions and the part that has memories and critical thinking processes. If we can cure one, we might be able to find cures for the others. And if we find the CAUSE of one, we might be able to find the causes of the others. Wild stuff.

Elliot

Thanks ET I am going to look it up.

I don't care if homosexuality is learned or not, public schools have NO business undermining parental rights. Freedom is messy, remember? If you don't like that I teach my kids traditional values then I have 3 words for you. Get over it.

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Originally Posted by ETWolverine

I didn't say that they couldn't have a family. I said that they cannot have children on their own without 3rd party intervention of some sort.

Do you also say that hetero couples that can't have their own bio children aren't a real family.

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Aren't they? If they are saying that gay families are "just like everyone else", isn't that the same as saying that "kissing other boys is okay" because it's no different than "kissing girls"? And if they are teaching this to MY child and I don't think that it is okay, isn't that a usurpation of my parental rights?

"Kissing other boys" is not something a son would do or not do based on what they were taught. If a son is gay, he is likely to eventually kiss another boy. If he is not gay, he will not be kissing another boy. What sex you are attracted to is not taught. It is felt and nothing you do or don't do is going to sway their sexual preference. A FULL education about sex can only be beneficial to everyone. Keeping STDs at bay, unwanted pregnancies at bay, and abortions down. Looks like you would be all over that.

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No they are not. They are teaching an opinion... that a gay family is "just the same" as a traditional family. That is NOT a factual statement because from a biological perspective the two are NOT the same. Ergo, it is NOT a fact, it is an opinion.

I agree with you. They are NOT the same. BUT, they are just as valid. Love and commitment can be the same as any hetero couple. The ability to raise happy healthy children can be the same

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Perhaps my children and grandchildren will see me that way. BUT IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE THAT. It is THEIR decision how to view me, not yours. Nor is it your job to try to "counteract" what I want my kids to learn and live by.

Once again, no matter what they "learn". They will be what they are. Be it straight or gay. You have no control over that.

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You are trying to use the power of government (in this case the public school system) to push YOUR beliefs on my kids, and I resent it. You do not have the right to brainwash my kids into thinking that homosexuality is "all right" when I don't believe that it is. The government doesn't have that right.

I hope and pray that you don't have a child or other family member that is gay. I have a feeling that you would be singing a different tune. Kind of like Chaney.

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How about instead of trying to teach kids about the environment and tolerance of homosexuality and stuff that doesn't belong in the school system, we instead try to teach kids reading, writing and arithmatic... subjects that we are lagging behind in as compared to every other developed country in the world, because we're too busy teaching kids about the environment and acceptance of gay sexuality.

Or how about giving our children all the benefit of a well rounded education. I agree that to improve on reading writing and arithmatic is very important . Just as important is how to get along in this world with all kinds of people. They will be living in a world occupied with lots of different people with different beliefs. Do you think they can somehow escape this reality?

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Perhaps if we taught kids to read and write, our employees will end up being competitive with their foreign counterparts. OUR SCHOOLS ARE FAILING and the last thing we need are more excuses to waste time on stuff that doesn't help our kids get a friggin job.

There is getting a "friggin job," and then there is keeping a job. Pickens are going to be slim if you continue to shun people that are different from you and being so intollerant is only going to hurt your children.

Elliot[/QUOTE]

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Originally Posted by cozyk

I hope and pray that you don't have a child or other family member that is gay. I have a feeling that you would be singing a different tune. Kind of like Chaney.

That's mighty condescending and presumptuous.

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Or how about giving our children all the benefit of a well rounded education. I agree that to improve on reading writing and arithmatic is very important . Just as important is how to get along in this world with all kinds of people. They will be living in a world occupied with lots of different people with different beliefs. Do you think they can somehow escape this reality?

They'll also be in a world filled with people pushing their values on them. My home is supposed to be a refuge where we can shield them from values and behaviors we find detrimental to their well-being - where we can guide them as a loving parent should. That is not the school's job. Period.

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There is getting a "friggin job," and then there is keeping a job. Pickens are going to be slim if you continue to shun people that are different from you and being so intollerant is only going to hurt your children.

I can't wait to see Elliot's response to this, but I wonder why you're so intolerant of our values. That tolerance things cuts both ways.

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I can't wait to see Elliot's response to this, but I wonder why you're so intolerant of our values. That tolerance things cuts both ways.

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I'm not intolerant of your values. I'm intolerant of your intolerance of what seems like everything coming and going. You are intolerant of Democrats, Obama, Planned Parenthood, Schools teaching sex ed, abortion, gays, gay marriage, gay rights, and CNN.

It wouldn't surprise me if I could add gun control, evolution, and non- christians to that list. Am I correct?

It seems you will only tolerate what you think is right. Anything else should be prohibited.

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Originally Posted by cozyk

I'm not intolerant of your values.

Your comments obviously suggest otherwise. You seem to think my values aren't good enough, they must be corrected in the public schools. What's funny here is I don't expect my values to be taught to your kids. Raise them how you want, let us do the same.

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I'm intolerant of your intolerance of what seems like everything coming and going. You are intolerant of Democrats, Obama, Planned Parenthood, Schools teaching sex ed, abortion, gays, gay marriage, gay rights, and CNN.

I'm intolerant of PP for sure, but I get along fine with the libs around me. I've had many gay friends and even some relatives. What I am intolerant of is people forcing an agenda down my throat. I think you are, too.

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It wouldn't surprise me if I could add gun control, evolution, and non- christians to that list. Am I correct?

It seems you will only tolerate what you think is right. Anything else should be prohibited.

Now you're just being an a$$.

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Now you're just being an a$$.

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And you are avoiding the question.

And you are avoiding the question.[/QUOTE]

The difference between you and I is I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, I don't judge you for things not in evidence. I deserve the same courtesy.

But what I don't get is that you cry murder about abortions. Genocide in fact. The numbers are startling you say. SO obviously the parents in your country aren't teaching what you say they should be. Something is wrong. Sure, you guys do it, but obviously some people aren't. So, someone's got to do something haven't they? Why not do it a controlled environment like school? Then maybe you won't have to put up with the genocide for much longer.

You guys always want it both ways. Ooops sorry, I'm not implying your bi-sexual. Just confusing!

How is teaching someone about life pushing values? I know its been a long time since you guys went to school but gee, I can tell you school and what you learn from your time in school is a helluva lot more the 3 R's.

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The difference between you and I is I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, I don't judge you for things not in evidence. I deserve the same courtesy.

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I believe you have given me my answer by refusing to answer it.
That's just what I thought.
You are against just about everything .

What benefit of a doubt are you giving me? I don't know what you are talking about.

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Originally Posted by cozyk

I believe you have given me my answer by refusing to answer it.
That's just what I thought.
You are against just about everything .

I'll put it this way, you are so wrong about me it's pathetic. Seriously.

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What benefit of a doubt are you giving me? I don't know what you are talking about.

Then you didn't read my post. I said "I don't judge you for things not in evidence."

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Originally Posted by speechlesstx

I'll put it this way, you are so wrong about me it's pathetic. Seriously.

Then you didn't read my post. I said "I don't judge you for things not in evidence."

I don't think so. Why so mysterious? You know what? Forget it, your posts say it all.

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Originally Posted by speechlesstx

I'll put it this way, you are so wrong about me it's pathetic. Seriously.

No she's not. One only has to look at the threads you've started and the posts you make. It's not rocket science to do so.

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Originally Posted by Skell

But what I don't get is that you cry murder about abortions. Genocide in fact. The numbers are startling you say.

Are you talking to me, Skell? I have called it murder and genocide but that's far from my usual arguments.

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SO obviously the parents in your country aren't teaching what you say they should be. Something is wrong. Sure, you guys do it, but obviously some people aren't. So, someone's got to do something haven't they? Why not do it a controlled environment like school? Then maybe you won't have to put up with the genocide for much longer.

You guys always want it both ways. Ooops sorry, I'm not implying your bi-sexual. Just confusing!

Skell, doesn't anyone ever stop to consider that the mindset that Planned Parenthood, NARAL, Hollywood and the mainstream media have cultivated in the last 20 years or so IS the problem? It's not that parents haven't taught their kids, but when they spend 8 hours a day in a school environment that promotes that mindset and when sex is thrown in their faces at every turn, parents face an uphill battle. Add peer pressure and you have a powerful mix working against you as a parent. And you and I both know we can't just shield them from life.

The majority of public school teachers and school administrators are anything but conservative. The teachers unions are decidedly liberal. Planned Parenthood works closely with districts on sex ed curriculum. Planned Parenthood strongly advocates "empowering" children in their sexuality and not only crusades for the right of minors to have abortions and birth control without parental consent, they've been know to act on that in violation of the law. That is the "controlled environment" our public school students "learn" in so as a conservative I am justified in objecting to leaving such things to the schools.

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How is teaching someone about life pushing values? I know its been a long time since you guys went to school but gee, I can tell you school and what you learn from your time in school is a helluva lot more the 3 R's.

Trust me Skell, these people have no intention of "teaching someone about life," they want to mold young minds to their satisfaction and don't give a rip about what the parents want. The evidence to that effect is clear, they know it is a controversial issue, it has nothing to do with providing a useful education and they have no intention of allowing parents to opt out.

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Originally Posted by cozyk

I don't think so. Why so mysterious? You know what? Forget it, your posts say it all.

^This. You are right.

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Originally Posted by cozyk

I don't think so. Why so mysterious? You know what? Forget it, your posts say it all.

Really? I personally think that like NK, you just like to goad conservatives rather than engage in or continue a meaningful discussion and you only see what you want to see. Then you have the audacity to tell me what I believe in such a negative, intolerant, insensitive way, again based on facts not in evidence. So what do your posts say about you?

I'll say it again very clearly, you are so wrong about me it's pathetic. Seriously. There's nothing mysterious about that and I feel no need to justify myself to you any further. Think what you like cozyk, your posts say plenty about you.

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

No she's not. One only has to look at the threads you've started and the posts you make. It's not rocket science to do so.

It must be rocket science, it sure seems to be above your pay grade.

Maybe genocide is a bit inaccurate . Infanticide is a more accurate term.