My fiancé was put on probation almost 5 yrs ago. It was for a burglary that had taken place when he was 16. He is now 23 y/o and only 6 moths left on probation. We wanted to get married this winter, but his probation officer told us that she has to approve him to get married. I cannot find anything for the state of WI on this. We want to get married but I don't want him to get revoked just 6 months before release. Can anyone help me?

Hello ebenser:

You're probably right, she's making it up as she goes along. I know her kind. I've dealt with 'em before. What I know about 'em, is that you shouldn't doubt, for a minute, that she's going to make sure he does what she wants. I can tell, given that he's already done four and half years, and she STILL thinks she should approve of his marriage.

I only tell you this, because if you disobey her now, she'll find another reason to violate him - count on it! Here's a tidbit. When probation is violated, they can make him serve the ENTIRE 5 years. Not that they would, but they COULD, and stranger things have happened than that. Why would you want to give the state that much power over you?

Besides, you've got only 6 months to wait. When you're my age, you can't remember what decade you were married in, no less what year. Relax, and don't give this witch a chance to screw up your life.

excon

I know what you mean but hse is now threatening to make him move away from me because he got in trouble last week and she is blaming it on me. I have been with him for 2 yrs and he has never been in trouble. The one time that he did it was my fault and now she wants to take him away from me until the probation is over. She told him that if he screws up again she is done with him. I just don't want to lose him or have her put a restraining order for us to stay away from each other.

I don't see how she can. Unless you, yourself are a convicted felon and associating with you violates his probation, she really doesn't have a say in his love life.

I would have him talk to her supervisor.

Hello again, ebenser:

Look, there is obviously a lot more going on here. I don't know who did what to who. I don't know what screwing up means. I don't know how she can require him to move away from you. I don't know if she's the good guy here, or you are. I don't care. I don't know a lot. I don't NEED to know a lot.

What I do know, is that you're SIX MONTHS away from freedom. Even if you have to live away from him for six months, do it!

excon

Wait until his probation is finished, then get married.