Ask Me Help Desk - I'm in love with a 14 year old and I am 19, can we date without getting in trouble?

A 14 year old is often more likely to listen to a peer than an adult especially if the peer is unchallenged. The fact is that people often lurk at sites like these reading the advice to apply to their own situations. So, no its not immature to challenge bad advice from ANYONE, whatever age they be.

And who is saying there isn't or won't be sex? You are naïve as well as immature if you expect such a relationship will be totally chaste.

So now you are saying you didn't have sex with this 29 year old until AFTER he knew you were only 15? And you think because your mother OKed him dating you that's going to keep him out of jail?

Girl, you are living in a fantasy world and someday, probably soon, it going to come crashing down on your head. I am very sure of that. But I'm not going to let you give bad advice that will lead some other girl down the same dangerous path you have taken.

Keep trying to argue with me. It only shows how immature you are. I'm trying to protect people from bad advice, you are trying to lead them into trouble.

Quote:

Originally Posted by babz888

good for you...i dont have a dad bcuz he died but yea mayb e wuda put him in jail...doubt it though...he always wanted me to b happy..and as for anyone who wud even say bout puttn der child in a doghouse is an irresponsible parent.

More evidence of your immaturity. A parent who wants their child to be happy wouldn't let them be exploited by someone twice their age. And Tal's doghouse comment was figurative not literal. I can tell, if I could, I would be reporting your pedophile BF to the police.

Well Darling here in the States your boyfriend would be in jail. It is illegal what you and your boyfriend are doing. Here in the states we would consider him to be contributing to the delinquency of a minor as well as statutory rape. Which is neither her nor there. Maybe its different in the UK.

It does not stop the fact that a man who dates a young girl is a predator. This question is NOT about you. It is about whether it is okay in the States for him to pursue a relationship with a 14 year old. No it is not okay. Period end of story. Its not open to opinion there are laws.

maybe so but hu z the fella hu posted the comment is from the states?
I don't care what u's think about mi relationship. I'm not the 1 hu asked for advice... im giving it.. its not up to you to defend or be cocky and getty about my comment its up to the fella hu posted it to decide not u's... u's had the chance to say what u's thought... now I'm saying what I think e should do... sorry if yous do disagree but life doesn't revolve around you's.

*quote*And who is saying there isn't or won't be sex? You are naïve as well as immature if you expect such a relationship will be totally chaste. * quote*

Him... the fella hu posted the comment z it... not me... him... he could wait until she was legal before having sexual intercoarse but still date her up until then. So don't give me all the chaste bull.

With a little bit of SuperModerator powers I know what state he is in. He is in the states and it is illegal in that state.

It may even be illegal in the UK with your age gap.

These men can be labeled sex offenders for the rest of their lives!!

Its perfectly legal in the uk with parental consent... I could b dating a 99 yr old and with parental consent it would be OK... thts the way it should be too...

Quote:

Originally Posted by babz888

maybe so but hu z the fella hu posted the comment is from the states?
i dont care wht u's think about mi relationship. im not the 1 hu asked for advice...im giving it..its not up to you to defend or be cocky and getty about my comment its up to the fella hu posted it to decide not u's.... u's had the chance to say wht u's thought...now im sayin wht i think e shud do....sorry if yous do disagree but life doesnt revolve around you's.

You are entitled to your opinion but so are we. However, we pride ourselves on the quality of advice we give here. And we are not going to let someone with little or no life experience lead someone else down a dangerous path. If you give questionable or bad advice we will counter it. I think the only thing keeping your boyfriend from jail is that they don't know you had sex with him. But if you are pregnant, that will change.

Oh, and by the way, this is a bulletin board, not a chat, IM or text messaging. There is no need to use chat speak here.

He won't go to jail with my parental consent... even if I am pregnant.

All I'm saying on the fella hu posted this comment is to go for it and I wish you all the best xox

Actually, you are wrong. The age of consent in London is 16. So it is illegal. Whether your parents agree or not.

I am right... I don't live in england I live in ova part of uk.

Are you telling me that England is NOT in the UK?

Quote:

Originally Posted by babz888

its perfectly legal in the uk with parental consent...i could b dating a 99 yr old and with parental consent it would be ok....thts the way it should be too....

Sorry, but no. According to what I have read the age of consent in the UK is 16 (17 in Ireland). And, if the older party was over 21 then there is no excuse about not knowing or consent.

So, if the authorities find out you had sex with him he's in jail. If this creep really loves you, he would have waited.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

I am posting just so others are aware who are expending energy in replying to the original post.

toddlovell19 originally posted his question on Jul 7, 2007, 04:10 PM and has not so much as logged back onto this site since "Last Activity: Jul 7, 2007 04:10 PM."

The one and only post from this 'tod'...
Maybe I'm paranoid, but being a new grandma, the user name makes me think of 'toddler'.. and that leads to other things.
It's never too early to pass on respect and morality to your children, or they will wind up posting threads like this one..

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_18.gif

United Kingdom England, Scotland, Wales Jersey, Isle of Man
16 16 16
United Kingdom Northern Ireland 17 17 17
United Kingdom Guernsey and Gibraltar
16 18 16

So anyway you look at it, he is committing a crime.

I live the tip of france... everyone that lives here consider themselves part of the uk so sorry to prove you's all rong but I am right.

Age consent here is 15 with parental consent.

O yea and scott or hueva you are... my boyfriend is not a creep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by babz888

i live the tip of france...everyone that lives here consider themselves part of the uk so sorry to prove you's all rong but i am right.

No we aren't wrong, we were going by what you told us. However, France has set the age of consent at 15. So your creep, whoops boyfriend, appears to be safe from prosecution. I still doubt that it will last because you seem too immature to have an adult relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by babz888

o yea and scott or hueva u r...my bf is not a creep.

Sorry, but I will ALWAYS view a 29 yr old dating a 15 yr old (let alone having sex with them) as a creep. The age difference is too great for him not to be.

Dating at 14 is fine in the UK, BUT once there is sex then the "boy" is guilty of Statutory Rape and WILL be imprisoned and be put on the Sex Offenders list for LIFE.
Parental consent has NOTHING to so with this.
Especially for the Geographically Challenged, England is in the UK and NOT the other way round.

I seem to immature... but I'm not... you don't no me so you mayb can judge by my comments... I don't care what you think... ino hu I am also I no what and hu I want in my life... im not the one hu needs the advice so stop going on about us... I am ryt, the age of consent is 15 here, I did prove you rong when you z he would go to jail because he most def won't... your doubt doesn't mean it will come true though... I will let you no what happens within the next yr or so as you seem to be extremely interested as to if our relationship will work or not and I will probably prove you rong yet again.

and I didn't say that england wasn't in the uk I z I didn't live in england when a comment was posted that the legal age for sex was 16 in london.

Right then, for the complete avoidance of doubt, especially for our "chat speak" typing, attitude ridden teen, here is the breakdown for the island of Guernsey and Jersey.

Ages of consent in Europe - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Now babz888 quit trying to tell us otherwise in your abortion of the English language and READ the LAW.
It's very simple really and you don't have to use your finger to follow the words.
You do, how ever, have to engage the solitary brain cell to try and comprehend the long words involved.

Quote:

Originally Posted by babz888

i am ryt, the age of consent is 15 here,,i did prove you rong when you z he would go to jail because he most def wont

You don't get it do you? You can't prove someone was wrong when they gave the correct info based on the facts presented. If you ask someone to add 2+2 and they say 4 you can't say they were wrong (not rong) because you meant 2+3. If you actually did live in the UK as you told us, then he would be risking jail. So we were right (not ryt) in what we said.

Have you ever heard the saying "methinks he doth protest too much"? It refers to someone who fights very hard to support a position that isn't supportable. That you are fighting so hard to make us think you will make a success of this relationship, makes me believe you have very large doubts and are trying to convince yourself.

I would like nothing better then that you do prove us wrong and make a success of this. I just have very large doubts that you will. And I KNOW (not no) that encouraging others to emulate you is bad advice.

Here's another, slightly easier to read for you, since it is obvious you have some learning difficulties.

A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states

Country... FRANCE Male-FemaleSex 15 Male-Male Sex 15 Female-Female Sex 15

I think you'll find that the law says 15 years old.

So... you've just said to yourself in that last comment that you, yourself and you were WRONG as it clearly states in that table that it is LEGAL for a 15 YEAR OLD to have sex.

Thank you.

YOU AREN'T IN FRANCE OR A FRENCH CITIZEN !!!!!

So the LAW of the United Kingdom applies.

Now quit beating a dead horse, or in this case a dead thread.

Quote:

Country... FRANCE Male-FemaleSex 15 Male-Male Sex 15 Female-Female Sex 15

So go to france to have sex and then go home to jail.

>Edited obscenities< I Am Living In France... >Edited childish disparaging comments<

Quote:

Originally Posted by babz888

its perfectly legal in the uk with parental consent...i could b dating a 99 yr old and with parental consent it would be ok....thts the way it should be too....

So, which is it dear? The UK or France?

You just said right here you are in the UK.

Quote:

Originally Posted by babz888

so.... you've just said to yourself in that last comment that you, yourself and you were WRONG as it clearly states in that table that it is LEGAL for a 15 YEAR OLD to have sex.

Your immaturity is showing again. You so desparately want to prove us wrong. But we can't be wrong when you change the facts. You started saying you were in the UK and the age of consent there is 16. If you are a UK citizen, then you are underage. If you are a French citizen, then you can legally have sex. No one has said anything different so none of us have been wrong (except you).

I was born in the uk... catrick army camp to be precise my father was in the army I travelled around as his bases kept changing from catrick 2 germany... when my father died last year I moved to calais and have remained here... alot of the people living here are from the uk and class themselves as a citizen of the uk... as do I... so... where am I lying? How does that make me immature.. exactly.. wise up.. you's r the harsh immature ones hu slabber at 15 year old girls hu try to get their point across...

Shame you NOT posting from Calais really isn't it.
Not only does your IP address identify you as posting from the UK, but so do your earlier comments.
Now would you like to stop mucking us all about and admit that YOU are in the wrong.

As has been said earlier, YOU are an English citizen and as such governed by UK law, irrespective of what country you are living in.

Clearly I am posting from calais.. you musnt be that good with computers if you can't tell ip addresses apart... if I was in the uk you not think I would think about ip addresses before id s'posably lie? Exactly... I may be 15 but I am rather smart... im not such the dumbass yous all think I am.

Sorry, but I don't think you are a "dumbass" as you have clearly demonstrated that all by yourself.

Now someone with alleged smarts would know when they are on a losing streak and back out gracefully, rather than continue arguing a pointless cause.

Whtever you say... you being you would probably get a buzz out of arguing with 15 year olds... but clearly I didn't state it myself if you are the 1 that thought and thinks probably that I am in the uk down to an ip address which should clearly state that I am in france.. so whtever tickles your pickle love.

Quote:

Originally Posted by babz888

i moved to calais and have remained here...alot of the people living here are from the uk and class themselves as a citizen of the uk...as do i...so.....where am i lying?? how does that make me immature..exactly..wise up..you's r the harsh immature ones hu slabber at 15 year old girls hu try to get their point across...

No one said you are lying, just that you have been misleading. Your profile says location: In the UK. You have identified yourself as being in the UK, you still class yourself as a UK citizen. So we, naturally, checked the UK laws. You now admit that you reside in France. You don't say whether the creep, whoops boyfriend, is a UK or French citizen. But, if you travel to the UK, he may be letting himself in for prosecution because you are a UK citizen.

As to what makes you immature, I've given several examples, I'm not going to repeat them.

As for us wanting to get our point across. It is morally, if not legally wrong for a 29 yr old to be dating, let alone having sex with a 15 yr old. That is a very important point to make.

OK but I don't care what u think as I have z several times because I will follow my heart... so thnks for the advice but its not needed.

Question Closed !