I understand that. I do. But what is revenge going to cost you? Your husband?

You provided all of these years of insurance because that is what the court required.

She only WANTED to work part time? Or did she want to be a mother to her children?

Your vindictiveness is only going to cause greater problems in the family. With this attitude you are only going to cause a rift that may not be reparable. It is quite possible that the medicaid, according to your state, was the primary insurer, and the father's insurance was the secondary. Meaning that whatever medicaid did not cover, her father's insurance was required to cover.

I really feel sorry for this child, in all honesty. She has a mother and a step-father that are able to provide for her financially, even though the step-father is not required by law to provide for her, but her mother is using the system in a way that is acceptable. Now she has a step-mother who is vengeful and vindictive in that she does not feel that the biological father should provide what he is required to provide. My heart aches for this child.

I knew I would get hit with accusations and I understand. I have never done anything bad to the mother... nor have I said anything bad about her in front of child. I have spoke bad about her to my husband...
She kept this child from us for long periods. She told this child that he couldn't go to our wedding because we "forgot" to pick him up. It has been years of heck with this mother and we took the high road.
I also have a child from a previous relationship. So, I see both sides.
I understand that from what I wrote it might look bad. But, I am admitting that yes... I would like revenge. Why? Because we have put up with nonsense for all these years and brushed it off.
But, what would it get me... probably nothing. I think I went on here to let off some steam.

No, our insurance wasn't second. The insurance company confirmed no claims were ever made.
We have provided insurance, paid child support, paid extras. We now pay 1/2 of his college expenses (because that is the right thing to do... not because we are required).

Go ahead with the revenge and see who is hurt. The child. Is this the child's fault? No. Why hurt the child?

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I understand that from what I wrote it might look bad.

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Yes, you look bad. Very bad. I pity your soul for taking this out on the child. It's too late now. The damage has been done. I suggest you get some counseling for your anger problems before this becomes irreparable between father and child. This is not your problem to deal with, it is an issue between the biological parents.

As far as her keeping him from dad, he should have been taking her back to court for visitation rights that mom should have been following. Dad should have been asking questions about their medical appointments. Sounds like he should have been more on top of things. But as Exxon said at the kids ages now nothing will probably happen. What can they ready do at this point to make things right other than a vengeance thing? Child support came after me for my one son when he turned 20. Realizing it was their mistake they backed off saying oh he's 20 now.