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Originally Posted by STEF182

I suppose that is the simplest answer you could give someone. An attorney is not necessary, not at this point. She has not left any marks on the children, she has only gotten rough, and was jsut afraid of her actions.

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She "ONLY" got rough with a person maybe (and only maybe) one-eighth her size and weight? That's the ONLY thing she did - ?

Let a man put his hands on a woman and his tail will sit in jail. I see the punishment being even worse for a person who abuses a child, whether out of anger or not.

Yes, if the parents press charges or if the Province presses charges, I see jail time because I see no remorse, no changinged attitude, only anger. If this anger comes out in this fashion on a public board I am concerned about anger directed at a child.

YOU are the one who referred to this as child abuse. We didn't put those words in anyone's mouth.

If there is any hypocrisy here it is your comment on this thread https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...ml#post1939512 that CPS should be called.

Apparently anyone else's behavior is abuse/neglect. Yours is in another category in your eyes.

I also hope on behalf of unborn children everyone that you are NOT pregnant. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ml#post1942560

You guys are very close minded and read into what I wrote and misinterpret what I mean, I am closing this discussion, I've had enough.

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Originally Posted by STEF182

You guys are very close minded and read into what I wrote and misinterpret what I mean, I am closing this discussion, I've had enough.

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Unless you are a moderator, you can't close a thread. Also, it would be illogical.

I do admit that I am remarkably closed minded (and I can't speak for my comrades) when it comes to any type of abuse - children, spousal, girlfriend/boyfriend, animals. And I make no apologies for that.

As a side issue, arresting someone for abuse is illogical? Your words.

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Originally Posted by STEF182

I suppose that is the simplest answer you could give someone. An attorney is not necessary, not at this point. She has not left any marks on the children, she has only gotten rough, and was jsut afraid of her actions.

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They have only gotten rough? Then why are you here researching punishment? You get answers, you question them. You get more answers, you insult the experts. You want to leave in a huff, the do just that. My original post stands. This "person" ( I'm wondering who that actually is) is more concerned with covering their butt. People don't usually call the police for no reason. Instead of researching the ramifications, you should be researching getting help, like anger management. THIS PERSON DOES NOT NEED TO BE AROUND CHILDREN. This site is free, the people come here to help, at NO CHARGE, if you don't like these answers, or question their validity, go get a lawyer. The people here ( including myself) are trying to help you. Is this the way you give thanks?

Did anyone notice that this went from CHILD to CHILDREN? I can't see how it's an accident if its happened more than once. Not only that but from the OP's anger because of the truth and opinions being stated by our "comrades", I'm assuming the OP is actually the culprit posting for their "friend" as not to seem like a child abuser.


I'm sorry, commit crimes, pay the price. Commit those crimes against defenseless people, pay harder. I see no remorse.

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Originally Posted by STEF182

I'm sorry but that's a little extravagant. If someone grabbed me and left a mark I would not put them in jail. Grabbing may be considered abuse but it doesnt deserve jail time. Kids get grabbed all the time and not necessarily out of anger. How do you pick up a child? Do you never scold your child when he/she's done something bad? Don't say never, its impossible. It has happened to everyone at one point or another, out of anger or by accident. And not all those people deserve to go to jail. Anyway I suppose everyone has their point of view, but you must be reasonable as well. Do not exagerrate because then 100% of the population would be in jail, and that's ridiculous thinking. That's why people need lawyers, because some people are accused illogically.

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Grabbing, in and of itself, is not the issue. Either is discipline. The issue is that she's worried about leaving actual MARKS!

I was a trouble-maker as a child. I got yelled at, spanked, and physically dragged from one place to another when my behavior warranted it. During none of that did my mother ever actually cause a bruise or scratch. I got bruises because I fell when running from her or threw myself on the floor in a fit or managed to knock myself into something during a tantrum, but never from her grabbing me. I scratched myself against shelves and carts in stores and even still have a scar on my hand from where my own thumbnail managed to take a chunk out when I was throwing a fit, but none of it was caused by my mother.

Picking up a child, or scolding them, does not leave marks. Applying too much force while picking them up or spanking them (I come from a generation who actually benefited from the occasional, deserved spanking), leaves bruises. Using nails, rings, or other abrasive objects while picking up or disciplining a child leaves scratches.

Since you friend works in a daycare center she should NOT be hitting or spanking them in any way. So I see no reason why that should be an issue. If she has nails or rings that's she's worried will leave scratches, then she needs to cut her nails and remove the rings. The bottom line is simple, they are someone ELSE'S kids and she should be watching how she treats them every moment she's around them. If she feels she has an anger issue that may result in harm to the children, then she needs to quit her job. It's a simple as that.

Its been said and thought by many - you you willfully harm a child, especially through anger, it is assault of a minor and in most states is a felony. In FL it carries 5 years.

But like many have also said and thought... if its my child, you better HOPE the police get to you before I do. I don't know many parents that don't feel that way.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Unless you are a moderator, you can't close a thread. Also, it would be illogical.

I do admit that I am remarkably closed minded (and I can't speak for my comrades) when it comes to any type of abuse - children, spousal, girlfriend/boyfriend, animals. And I make no apologies for that.

As a side issue, arresting someone for abuse is illogical? Your words.

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I didn't say arresting someone for abuse was illogical. Some of the replies are illogical in my opinion.

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Originally Posted by hheath541

grabbing, in and of itself, is not the issue. either is discipline. the issue is that she's worried about leaving actual MARKS!

i was a trouble-maker as a child. i got yelled at, spanked, and physically dragged from one place to another when my behavior warranted it. during none of that did my mother ever actually cause a bruise or scratch. i got bruises because i fell when running from her or threw myself on the floor in a fit or managed to knock myself into something during a tantrum, but never from her grabbing me. i scratched myself against shelves and carts in stores and even still have a scar on my hand from where my own thumbnail managed to take a chunk out when i was throwing a fit, but none of it was caused by my mother.

picking up a child, or scolding them, does not leave marks. applying too much force while picking them up or spanking them (i come from a generation who actually benefited from the occasional, deserved spanking), leaves bruises. using nails, rings, or other abrasive objects while picking up or disciplining a child leaves scratches.

since you friend works in a daycare center she should NOT be hitting or spanking them in any way. so i see no reason why that should be an issue. if she has nails or rings that's she's worried will leave scratches, then she needs to cut her nails and remove the rings. the bottom line is simple, they are someone ELSE'S kids and she should be watching how she treats them every moment she's around them. if she feels she has an anger issue that may result in harm to the children, then she needs to quit her job. it's a simple as that.

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THANK YOU! Now, what you've replied is decent. People here are going crazy and saying preposterous things based on a small message, assuming the worst. Your reply is logical and completely true. This person is not myself, it is a friend, and this stupid replies are just making me mad, just cause its not me doesn't mean it can't make me mad. I am asking questions based on the answers, and some of the answers are making me wonder why crazy people think that scolding a child deserves jail time. Its just exagerration and like I said everyone would be in jail!!

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Originally Posted by STEF182

THANK YOU!! Now, what you've replied is decent. People here are going crazy and saying preposterous things based on a small message, assuming the worst. Your reply is logical and completely true. This person is not myself, it is a friend, and this stupid replies are just making me mad, jsut cause its not me doesnt mean it can't make me mad. I am asking questions based on the answers, and soem of the answers are making me wonder why crazy people think that scolding a child deserves jail time. Its just exagerration and like I said everyone would be in jail!!!

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There is a difference between scolding a child and abusing a child and if your friend does not know where that line is, she has no place being a caregiver of children.

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Originally Posted by STEF182

THANK YOU!! Now, what you've replied is decent. People here are going crazy and saying preposterous things based on a small message, assuming the worst. Your reply is logical and completely true. This person is not myself, it is a friend, and this stupid replies are just making me mad, jsut cause its not me doesnt mean it can't make me mad. I am asking questions based on the answers, and soem of the answers are making me wonder why crazy people think that scolding a child deserves jail time. Its just exagerration and like I said everyone would be in jail!!!

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Never once did anyone say that scolding a child deserved jail time. YOU were the one who said your friend was worried about physically harming the children. You were also the one who said that she has already been physically rough with them. They were merely using what you said to formulate opinions.

You reacted badly to the responses and contradicted what you said in your original post in an effort to downplay the situation. You then inflamed things even further by accusing people of being unfair, illogical, and misreading what you had clearly stated before, and then tried to stop people from responding by stating that the discussion was closed.

In case you missed it; I was agreeing with what everyone else in this thread has already said.

Look, an online discussion can get out of hand if the first question is written improperly. I believe perhaps my question was not clear enough to express what my thoughts were. Since they are MY thoughts, and MY question, then I know what I mean, and I feel people are just attacking this person, who once again is not me. I did not post this question for my friend to be attacked, and I absolutely did not want people to start thinking she is abusing these children. I say CHILDREN instead of child because it is a daycare, it was unintentional switching from child to children. Of course, working in a daycare an educator does on more than one occasion lose patience and may more than once scold a child. I also feel that people are just misinterpreting my question and she is my friend, it feels like a personal attack. Anyhow, the answers are appreciated, its nice to know how many people care about children, really! I just continued with as you say"downplay the situatuion" or "contradicting" because the discussion in my eyes got out of hand and I started asking other questions based on the answers, because I was trying to understand a point of view on different actions.

If someone "loses patience" with a child that causes that child harm, it is child abuse. If a child gets bruised or scratched in the process of being punished, it is child abuse.

It is NOT an accident. An accident would be if she were to turn around and trip over a child. Grabbing a child is not an accident.

Can I be more clear?

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Originally Posted by stevetcg

If someone "loses patience" with a child that causes that child harm, it is child abuse. If a child gets bruised or scratched in the process of being punished, it is child abuse.

It is NOT an accident. An accident would be if she were to turn around and trip over a child. Grabbing a child is not an accident.

Can I be more clear?

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It's even worse because this person KNOWS that it has happened, and will probably happen again. It's easily preventable. Get another job.

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Originally Posted by STEF182

I didn't say arresting someone for abuse was illogical. Some of the replies are illogical in my opinion.

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Here's what you said: "That's why people need lawyers, because some people are accused illogically."

Where does that translate to you receiving illogical replies?

Also, if this IS about a friend and you excuse or justify her behavior you have no business trying to get pregnant and raise children.

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
Stratmando agrees: Disagrees, Ballancer, you could have just said your opinion?.[/QUOTE]


What if I don't understand this comment? I can't figure out if you agree with me or don't agree with me - :)

The title of this thread is "what's the worse that can happen". Meaning to THEM, in the eyes of the law. The WORST that can happen is that an innocent child could be harmed. You need to get your priorities straight.

Never seen so many reds given, either from missunderstanding, or different opinion.
I'm out of here.
I sure DIDN'T mean to Give JudyKayTee a green, I wanted to give her a red to balance hers to mine, I also felt other reds she readily passes on to other as unjustified.
Anyone know how to retract a green and give Her a red?