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-   -   Is my 25 year old daughter headed for Jail? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=387570)

  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:25 PM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    The daughter is 25. It's a little late to "set rules." The daughter will laugh in her face. We don't even know if the two live in the same house.

    It is still her house and if she laughs in her face then she does need a PFA put on her

    We don't even know they live in the same house ----that is what I have been saying I am waiting to hear!
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:26 PM
    zippit

    I just feel that if something legally is to come of this than at this point and knowing what I know I would say let it happen on its own
    Now given more info I could be wrong
    Which is why I worded it
    "a wake up call"
    A 16 yr old girl I wouldn't say that
    A 25 yr old woman well it is what it is
    We all get wake up calls in some variety
    And hers will come or maybe she will just get lucky not get caught at anything, change her ways ON HER OWN and become a decent woman its happen before
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:26 PM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    It can be done very well with excellent results.

    What can be done very well with excellent results?
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:28 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by zippit View Post
    i just feel that if something legally is to come of this than at this point and knowing what i know i would say let it happen on its own
    now given more info i could be wrong
    which is why i worded it
    "a wake up call"
    a 16 yr old girl i wouldnt say that
    a 25 yr old woman well it is what it is
    we all get wake up calls in some variety
    and hers will come or maybe she will just get lucky not get caught at anything, change her ways ON HER OWN and become a decent woman its happen before

    ... without killing or badly injuring herself and others along the way... Sounds like she is well on her way to disaster.
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:30 PM
    zippit
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    It can be done very well with excellent results.

    It could also go way way bad

    With results you as a parent would have to live with

    And personally I don't think a lot of officers would recommend it

    Its not like your calling them over to talk to your child which I have done

    Your trying to get her arrested "for her own good" is that true?
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:35 PM
    N0help4u

    I think we covered enough on why it is not a good idea to call the police at this point.
    Too many what ifs and not enough solid evidence and things could backfire and have serious bad results
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:37 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by zippit View Post
    with results you as a parent would have to live with

    And I do nothing and live with her killing or maiming herself and a few others along the way? Remember, she's not a cute little teenager any longer. She's old enough to know better. Why doesn't she know better is the musical question.
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:38 PM
    zippit
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    ...without killing or badly injuring herself and others along the way......... Sounds like she is well on her way to disaster.

    Your assuming this woman will not stop

    Until something disaterous happens to her

    I just look at it in a more positive light

    I have seen WAY worse than this pull out of it

    Its not like she caught her shooting heroin in her neck in the bathroom

    c'mon
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:39 PM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    And I do nothing and live with her killing or maiming herself and a few others along the way? Remember, she's not a cute little teenager any longer. She's old enough to know better. Why doesn't she know better is the musical question.

    So what do you suggest she does??
    The police will not get involved at this point
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:41 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by zippit View Post
    your assuming this woman will not stop

    until something disaterous happens to her

    i just look at it in a more positive light

    I have seen WAY worse than this pull out of it

    its not like she caught her shooting heroin in her neck in the bathroom

    c'mon

    I have seen them die and take others with them. We'll hope for the best on this one.
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:52 PM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I have seen them die and take others with them. We'll hope for the best on this one.

    Yep and often police HAD been called several times and nothing could be done ''because a crime had not been commited'' OR there was no solid evidence.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 12:16 PM
    waterdreamer
    Thanks for the advice thus far. My daughters actions have been going on since she was in high school. Things have gradually gotten worse. She has tried to kill her self a few times by overdosing on pain meds a few times. She has been in and out of the psych hospital due to this. The doctors that she has seen could never agree on what is going on with her. One would say she has depression, the other would say no, that she has something completely different. This went on and on for years. She now refuses to go see anyone. She went through at least 2 years of pure hell, where she would cut herself. She has been told by several of the doctors that she has OCD. She will not listen to me, and states that she is in the process of saving up money to move out.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 12:16 PM
    waterdreamer
    Thanks for the advice thus far. My daughters actions have been going on since she was in high school. Things have gradually gotten worse. She has tried to kill her self a few times by overdosing on pain meds a few times. She has been in and out of the psych hospital due to this. The doctors that she has seen could never agree on what is going on with her. One would say she has depression, the other would say no, that she has something completely different. This went on and on for years. She now refuses to go see anyone. She went through at least 2 years of pure hell, where she would cut herself. She has been told by several of the doctors that she has OCD. She will not listen to me, and states that she is in the process of saving up money to move out.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 12:27 PM
    waterdreamer
    Here are some answers to your "what ifs"
    -she still lives at home
    -she pays me rent
    -she pays for her own car insurance
    -she pays for her own cell phone
    When she is at home, she stays away from the rest of the family. She shuts herself up in her room the entire time she is home.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 12:32 PM
    N0help4u

    Okay You need to tell her your house your rules or you will have to resort to evicting her.

    Since she stays in her room I would just leave her there and try to ignore her as much as possible for now.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 12:46 PM
    MsMewiththat

    waterdreamer I am sorry that you find yourself in this situation. Check into a psych hospital hold for your daughter. It is clear that she is living on the edge for whatever reason. She lacks value of her own life let alone life in general.
    I believe that calling the police for no reason right now is by far the worst possible scenario.
    Help is the answer... not additional trouble.
    As a parent wouldn't we do anything for our children? Plead with her for her sake... keep track and document with proof all that she is doing that you observe for fact to be illegal. When and if your daughter finds herself behind bars if that should happen, only agree to help her get out if she agrees to certain conditions. At that time you get her the physciatric help that she needs.
    Does your daughter have medical coverage? Has a Dr. ever perscribed medication and if so is she taking it?
  • Aug 18, 2009, 01:00 PM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by MsMewiththat View Post
    Check into a psych hospital hold for your daughter.

    She lacks value of her own life let alone life in general.
    At that time you get her the physciatric help that she needs.


    She can not get her psychiatric help against her will and I am sure she would never consent.
    At best she MIGHT be able to get her to agree to family counseling
  • Aug 18, 2009, 01:07 PM
    waterdreamer
    I have suggested to her that she get help. That just added fuel to the fire. She stormed out of the house and didn't come home for several hours (arrived about 3am). She has been perscribed some meds for OCD. The meds are disapearing. I am not sure if she is taking them or not. When she was in high school, I caught her washing some of her meds down the drain. I don't know if she is actually taking them or not.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 01:11 PM
    N0help4u

    You need to tell her a list of
    MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY rules
    Like lose the attitude
    No coming in after midnight
  • Aug 18, 2009, 01:18 PM
    MsMewiththat

    No help for you... dependent on where the OP lives there is a type of psychiatric hold that can happen when you involuntarily admit someone that meets certain criteria... BRITNEY SPEARS... 5150 hold.
    I suggested that she research it for the next outburst. Sometimes depending on what they discover there can be a court ordered remedy or actionable item to help set this person on the right path

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