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-   -   How do you get rid of a dead body? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=281946)

  • Mar 5, 2009, 07:44 AM
    ISneezeFunny

    Hard to get the manifest changed, though...
  • Mar 5, 2009, 08:05 AM
    asking

    How Not to Get Rid of a Body:
    A couple of years ago, two neighbors in a rural area near here got into a dispute over a property line and one of them shot and killed the other one.

    Coworkers reported the dead guy missing, so the sheriff's deputies went to his house and found the door wide open and the TV still on, liked he'd just walked out of the house for a minute. So they strolled over to the guilty neighbor's house in all innocence of the conflict or the death and asked if he knew anything. The neighbor seemed nervous and wasn't very helpful. He then announced he had to go check on a burn pile in his backyard and that he'd be right back.

    After a minute or two, the deputies decided his behavior was suspicious and they followed him into his backyard. There they found him with a rake, trying to cover up the half burned corpse of his neighbor with a half burned sofa.

    I read this in my local paper...
  • Mar 5, 2009, 01:06 PM
    Akoue
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by asking View Post
    How Not to Get Rid of a Body:
    A couple of years ago, two neighbors in a rural area near here got into a dispute over a property line and one of them shot and killed the other one.

    Coworkers reported the dead guy missing, so the sheriff's deputies went to his house and found the door wide open and the tv still on, liked he'd just walked out of the house for a minute. So they strolled over to the guilty neighbor's house in all innocence of the conflict or the death and asked if he knew anything. The neighbor seemed nervous and wasn't very helpful. He then announced he had to go check on a burn pile in his backyard and that he'd be right back.

    After a minute or two, the deputies decided his behavior was suspicious and they followed him into his backyard. There they found him with a rake, trying to cover up the half burned corpse of his neighbor with a half burned sofa.

    I read this in my local paper...

    Wow!

    I mean, Wow!
  • Mar 5, 2009, 01:37 PM
    starbuck8

    You chew your own arm off and leave! :p
  • Jun 16, 2010, 03:02 AM
    elle9o
    Easy. You have the choice to chopping it up into pieces and then burning it into ashes or just burning it into ashes as a whole. Afterwards wipe it all up, take the ashes and dump them in the middle of the ocean or wherever you favor in dumping things. That's what I did with my first body and continue to do. Its genius. Good luck.
  • Jun 16, 2010, 03:02 AM
    elle9o
    Easy. You have the choice to chopping it up into pieces and then burning it into ashes or just burning it into ashes as a whole. Afterwards wipe it all up, take the ashes and dump them in the middle of the ocean or wherever you favor in dumping things. That's what I did with my first body and continue to do. Its genius. Good luck.
  • Jul 2, 2010, 06:08 AM
    smoothy

    Throw a block party Bar-B-Que?
  • Aug 3, 2010, 12:52 PM
    kryostar

    Taxadermy and prop them up in the window, Norman, Norman, come here Norman
  • Aug 8, 2010, 07:55 PM
    survivorboi

    Some criminals use biology to hide their victim... For example, you can use larvae, worms, etc. to eat and help the body decay naturally. But since the larvae (ect.) is eating the body, it won't leave a pile of decayed human flesh... As for the bones I guess it'd be soft by then and you can just burn it?
  • Aug 9, 2010, 08:55 AM
    asking
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by survivorboi View Post
    Some criminals use biology to hide their victim...For example, you can use larvae, worms, etc. to eat and help the body decay naturally. But since the larvae (ect.) is eating the body, it won't leave a pile of decayed human flesh...As for the bones I guess it'd be soft by then and you can just burn it?

    Insects don't need any help finding a body. So this is just "leaving it around" hoping no one will find it. If it's out in the woods, animals are likely to eat it. (I have seen an entire deer carcass cleaned down to the bones in three nights.) After that, yes, the larvae will continue to work on any soft tissue left on the bones, in the skull, skin, etc. I don't think the bones get soft very fast. They can be buried for 6 months and come up in good shape.

    I suppose you could try to do this inside somewhere. Ugh. No pile of decayed human flesh, but a HUGE pile of feces from the various beetle and fly larvae. And you've still got the bones, which will have a strong smell.
  • Aug 9, 2010, 09:05 AM
    ISneezeFunny

    Burning it is a bad idea, as the stench of human flesh is unbearable, also, you'll need a ridiculously hot fire in order to fully burn the body. Throwing a body into a bonfire won't get rid of it fully, and then you're left with a heaping mess of charred human carcass.

    The insect theory works, but only if you have a LOT of time, as it takes quite a bit of time for the course of nature to work upon the body... not to mention, the bones that are left behind. If you want absolutely no remains left, this is also a bad way to go about it.
  • Aug 21, 2010, 03:07 PM
    Emily94

    Someone may think I am crazy but..

    --First, burn it (It will wreck the majority of the DNA), then take out ALL of the teeth (No dental records to match), THEN, cut it up into little pieces and scatter them around. Make sure there is nothing really noticeable (Like a hand or a foot, shop them up smaller!)..

    Anyway, I watch to many horror shows.
  • Aug 30, 2010, 07:56 PM
    asking

    News Flash: A weekly science magazine reports that researchers at the National Institute of Standards and Technology have invented a device that can detect the odors released by a decomposing corpse even if it is buried underground or in small parts. They can drill a hole through a concrete slab or under rubble, then insert a tube that can "smell" rotting flesh. It cannot tell the difference between a human and another animal. (They tested it on buried rats.) Other ways of finding a corpse include dogs and ground penetrating radar.
  • Sep 20, 2010, 11:57 AM
    nkay2012
    Feed the body to aligators, OR wrap him up and send him to egypt. The you can put him in a coffin like a mummy. By the time he is discovered, your dead anyway.
  • Sep 20, 2010, 11:58 AM
    nkay2012

    Feed it to alligators, OR wrap it up and send it to Egypt. Make sure he gets put in a mummy cofffin. By the time someone finds him. You'll be dead. (:
  • Sep 20, 2010, 12:21 PM
    adam_89

    What do you mean you'll be dead?
  • Sep 20, 2010, 12:48 PM
    Stratmando

    I believe nkay figures it will be thousands of years before they find it, and you won't likely live thousands of years.
  • Sep 20, 2010, 01:48 PM
    adam_89

    Oh, OK that makes a lot of sense then.
  • Jan 30, 2011, 03:52 PM
    Jikol
    Omg u totally killed some 1 didn't u?! 
  • Jan 31, 2011, 06:38 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jikol View Post
    Omg u totally killed some 1 dint u ????!!!!!! 

    And that gibberish is exactly what in English?
  • Jan 1, 2012, 07:13 AM
    devisire
    Throw it on acid.
  • Oct 8, 2012, 10:19 AM
    dehdhdhdh
    Put a pair of glasses on the body and set him on your couch.

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