I am pretty sure I was scammed and I would like to see the person be punished. Of course if it was my fault then maybe I should go to jail just for being stupid. We live in a society of extreme moral degradation and we love it. We actually enjoy seeing scammers succeed, then we get to throw stones at the victim. This makes us feel good and appear important in our own minds. No good intention or act of integrity shall go unpunished for to let do-gooders run amok can only lead to discovery of our own darkness.

Sadly while yes scammers should be punished, the professional ones do it normally from areas where there is little actual laws on it, or there is little enforcement or they merely pay off the officials

In other cases like people who marry someone merely for their money or for a green card here in the US , it is often hard to prove fraud or merely divorce because they can't get along.

Don't let yourself be scammed.

I hope you quit feeling sorry for yourself. It is a rotten thing that this woman did. But honestly, didn't you have any clue as to her dealings? Something in the back of your head that told you something was wrong?

Next time you will not be so blissfully unawares. I am not saying that to be mean - we all learn from mistakes. Just some are costlier than others.

And yes, I would stay away from internet porn. Don't you watch Dateline? There are a lot of scammers online that pose as someone they are not.

Yes, there was a little voice in the back of my head and I was not blissfully unaware as you would suppose. I was watching the situation very closely. But the indicators of sincerity were much stronger. It may have been my fault because My business was ruined in the recent economy and I couldn't bring her home. She waited for 3 years and its possible that she simply went looking for greener pastures. Its not all cut and dried the way you think. It could be ether way. I talked to her the other day and she says she still loves me even though I haven't sent her any money in 6 months. However, it was when I stopped sending her money that she broke the engagement. I loved her very deeply. Is that foolish in and of itself? It means you trust the person. It really doesn't matter if it was a deliberate scam or if it was just a natural course of events, the result is still the same. I lost just about everything I had and had my heart ripped out. She is there and I am here and it is very difficult to know what is happening in her mind. I would like to know what happened but I may never know. Love and trust go together and it makes anyone vulnerable. " I hope you quit feeling sorry for yourself" I found to be a cold, mean thing to say. Would you say something like that to someone who was just in a car accident? It is the kind of cold hearted attitude that scammers have and that why they sleep at night. Maybe love itself is the ultimate scam.

I would never say that to someone who had just been in a car accident or lost someone dear to them in a car accident. That is not even the same level here.

If you gave this money to her of you own free will, then sadly you don't have much of a case. The fact that you were together for 3 years, planning to marry, well, if it's a scam, it's a well thought out scam. I don't see a case here, but then I'm not a legal expert.

The fact is, you trusted someone that you couldn't even be with on a daily basis. Did she ask you for the money you sent, or did you just give it to her of your own free will?

If she asked for it, that should have been a clue that she was scamming you. If you just gave it her because you wanted to, without her asking, then where's the scam?

You feel hurt. That's understandable.

One thing that bothers me.

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I talked to her the other day

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You're still talking to her? Why? It's a bit odd that you talk to her, but want to see her put away for scamming you.

Yes, everything you said is true. I suppose it is difficult to explain how things transpire. People often do things that seem odd to outsiders when there is emotion involved. Its true that I gave her not only money but love and support without being asked. I suppose its just instinct for a man to want to care and provide for his betrothed. I still talk to her because I want to know what happened. Everything I gave her was based on the promise of love forever, which she and I both reaffirmed on a nearly daily basis. The breakup was so sudden and permanent that's when I began to wonder if this was a carefully laid out plan. For all I know she has been doing this to other guys the whole time. I really don't think so and I really don't want to see her put away if it was just a natural course of events. I just don't know. I am not the type who is weak and naïve so as to be easily duped. I have been in business for myself for 20 years. She was checked out by family members including my step mom. The general consensus was that she was sincere and I should go for love. My brother always said "Shes just looking for a green card" but he never really talked to her. And as an initial assumption he was probably right. She was tested over and over again eventually I felt guilty for doing that. She did prove her love for me and I was thoroughly convinced of her sincerity. 3 years is a long time though and she is hot and got a lot of offers. A girl can only resist for just so long. I wonder if maybe she thought I was scamming her by keeping her on the hook. I know her biological clock was ticking over time. Still, there was no conversation about this being a deal breaker for her and the breakup was totally her decision, it was sudden and it occurred at about the same time that I could no longer afford to send her money. I just want to know the truth. I am finding it more difficult to let go that I thought. I am afraid that it is something I am going to have to do.

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Originally Posted by bleusong52

I would never say that to someone who had just been in a car accident or lost someone dear to them in a car accident. That is not even the same level here.

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And as you mentioned I did loose someone very near and dear to me.

Then why don't you board a plane or a boat and go over there and have a face-to-face meeting with her? Then you can stop giving her outs for what happened, stop your own misgivings (if that is what they are), and stop the what-if's. Where did the money go that you sent her? Couldn't she have saved portions of that for a trip over to you?

Money.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Don't let yourself be scammed.

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I wasn't the one who was scammed. Sorry ,just be careful.

Yes, the only way to press any charges would be to go over there in person and do it, But I doubt you would have much luck

Best advice, stop any and all contact, ( not a email, not a phone call, not a text) and move on.

I would suppose its your mistake in the first place not by sending money or expressing your love to a girl wich is in the other part of the world but simply because you of your lack of lnowelege of eve . If you know what's a aman in woman mind then you would not act that wayy , the golden rules here for you one never trust a woman whatsoever she talks love , two love always hides a target behind it you must be smart to discover that from first hint , three when mony is involved there is no room for love but personal gain , once you have no money love vanish in seconds and it could turn to hate .
Watch for this and you are happy man

If ever you find the answer I would love to know if there is any legal action or at least how to warn others here in Canada about being scammed by a woman in the Philippines. My son met a girl there about two years ago on a dating site. They talked on the internet for almost a year, then he decided to go there and meet her. He proposed to her on a beach somewhere over there. Gave her a beautiful ring, had been sending her money for over a year; and now we find out she was scamming him and probably others as well. I feel sick inside just thinking about it.

I totally understand mkspllmn, this has just happened to me with remarkably the same circumstances except, I have booked to go there in May, since Christmas she has twice accused me of having another woman which is simply not true but of course a convenient way for her to get rid of me, I believe she was panicking that I was coming because she had something to hide. But, you are right, it rips your heart out and devastates you, in your situation with your business, it must have been even more horrific. Stay strong as I have to and just remember one thing, you did your best with an honest heart. Chris.

Hello Chris:

Bummer for you. How much did you send her?

excon

Thousands spent and a couple of grand sent over 3 years. About 10g total.

Hi, over nearly 2 years I would estimate about 3-4 thousand dollars, and 3 mobile phones, hers somehow kept getting lost or stolen, hmm. Also a digital camera. It all makes me look very gulable but when you love them and you believe in what they tell you, you do whatever you can for them whilst hoping and trying to feel positive about it all, this of course made me have excuses for her actions and hope for the best. Even now, if she re-contacted me and said the right words I think I would fall for it again, it is so hard when you love them.

Oh, and to top it all off, I got a little angry when all this came to a head and told her in an sms that I was coming there and I asked her how she could do this to me. I think this may of scared her as she sent a message back sayng 'could you send it again, the message, I want to read it again'. I would not hurt or harm her in any way physically but I think I had the right to be upset over all this, now I believe she will try to have me prevented from entering the country, can she do this? I made no threats to harm her! I have since made other friends over there and would still like to go on my holiday for 2 months and visit them but she may destroy that too.