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From what I've heard, you won't go to heaven if you have sex before marriage. My friend and her boyfriend are really close, and she has told me she might have sex with him. They are sixteen, and I'm not sure what to tell her. She also asked me this: "if i have sex with him, will i go to hell?"
So I guess my question is, will she go to hell, and how do I stop her?
Rather than worrying about hell, if I were your friend and her boyfriend, I would worry about life on earth. Sex produces babies. Your friend is very young and very unprepared to be a mother, just like her boyfriend is not at all ready to support a family. Both need more schooling and maturity and just having fun and freedom before thoughts of babies dominate their lives. And another thought is that, once they give away their virginity, it's gone. Poof! It's unlikely they will marry each other someday. Why not save that precious gift for that special person?
While I am not saying it is okay with God to have sex before marriage I don't see it as a simple you messed up by *sinning* so you are going to hell. God knows we are human and he knows are short comings and our faults. I believe it is more a matter of your heart and desire to please God and work toward being right with him. Basically it is not a black and white cut and dry thing. We are not suppose to just give into sin and then repent like it is nothing but we need to strive toward doing right. It is best she tries to find the inner strength to not but God isn't waiting to strike a person into hell for what they do either.
I don't think that it's a good idea for her to have sex, but there's nothing you can say or do to stop her if she has her mind made up. It says in the bible no sex before marriage, but you can repent of your sins. Not saying that it is okay because sin is never okay, but there's only one true judge. Sex is soomething big, not just something to jump into. There could be a lot of consequences other than hell, diseases or pregnancy.
OK thanks so much. Because I know that she told me they were going to use condoms. I think I will tell her that God won't send you to hell, but you should save it for that special one when you get married.
Sex was intended to be a beautiful joining of two, in confirmed love for one another. The love can be blessed with a gift of love from God, a baby.
As we grow up accountability for your actions are important for it is a balance to what leads you in doing right from wrong. As a christian we believe God teaches us to remain pure hearted and love one another. Casual sex can always hurt someone. So your friend should first answer whether she wants to hurt God? Hurt herself? Or hurt someone else?
In all cases, I would hope her accountability brings the answer to NO... Thus she has her answer to casual sex..
As I have said in previous posts, sex before marriage takes away the specialness of it. My example: consider graduation. We anticipate graduation for many years before it actually arrives. We can't hurry it along, but imagine if people could just graduate from school when they couldn't contain their excitement anymore and couldn't wait any longer, that would take away from the presitigiousness and honor of the graduation ceremony. It wouldn't be special anymore. Sex is a beautiful and wonderful thing to be shared only with ones spouse. That's what makes it special because it is saved for that one special person in your life.
That being said, do I think the sin of sex before marriage will mark you for hell. Yes and No. Yes, if you have not accepted Jesus as your Savior. No, if you have accepted Jesus as your Savior. (Mind you, your salvation is not an excuse to sin) Your afterlife destination (heaven or hell) is not determined so much as what you do, as what you don't do. Sin is sin, its not ranked by scores of 1-10; 10 being the worst. If you've lied once you have sinned and have earned hell, BUT the great thing is, all you have to do is believe and accept what Jesus did for you on the cross and that sin no longer bounds you to hell. In short, no your friend will not go to hell for having sex before she's married, she will go to hell if she has not accepted Jesus as her Savior (if she is not born again), should she have sex before marriage, no, she shouldn't. It's a sacred thing to be shared with her future husband. She'll be missing out on a beautiful moment she could share with her true love if she gives her most precious gift away to the wrong person.
Hope this helps.
the bible clearly states it more than once that all fornicators will go to hell. The answer therefore is simple, if she dies with that sin she is going straight to hell.
I am not a virgin and I am not married. I had sex when I was about your age and truth be told I have reretted it ever since. It is difficult to stop once you satrt and it has plenty of disadvantages. You could get stds, aids or get pregnant. Since your friend is not ready to have a child she will promptly abort once she gets pregnant. She will mess up her life and rue the day she had sex.
condoms are 97% reliable but there is a 3% chance it doesn't work.
her spiritual life will crumble and she will give assess to demons to confuse her and harden her heart.
when I had sex I became hardened and didn't know my right from wrong. I felt alone and confused but God rescued me and didn't let me die in my sin.
tell her that God loves her and if the guy she is going out with really loves her he won't even consider having sex with her. She is special in God's eyes and she deserves nothing short of true love. A man who loves you won't want to hurt u and that's what he's going to do to her if he sleeps with her.
u can't force her not to but just give her your sound advice! At the end of the day its up to her.
God doenst mess with our free will only the devil does. Sex is wonderful but only when done at the right time. Please remember. If u want to learn from my story then let me know
lilthechic disagrees: don't negotiate with sin. Yes God understands but there is a limited amount of grace
I wasn't saying otherwise, BUT things DO happen and SHE has no control over her friend.
I was saying it is not a direct ticket to hell, BUT it is not something to take lightly either.
I did say '' I am not saying it is okay with God''
I'll keep this short and sweet. Your friend might go to hell yes. But god is forgiving. But tell her it will be so much more special if she is married because its more sacred that way. Even if she has to wait years it will probably be worth it. I'm 16 as well and I know I would never partake in that behavior. She needs to worry about stds, babies, and just her overall emotional stress she could gain. If this boyfriend of hers is making her or suggesting sex then he needs to be dumped she is only 16 for god sake. Tell her NO.
Unfortunately all sinners go to hell. Actually everyone who dies go to hell. Now whether a person stays dead eternally depends on how one has lived life before death. Sex is only for an adult man and woman who are married to each other.
Life is sacred to God. Sex is sacred also. Life and sex are linked together because sex comes from life and life comes by sex. True sexual intimacy comes from mutual love and affection between married partners and eternally committed to each other only. One is not physically, emotionally, mentally, or financially ready for sex until some time during aduthood.
I do agree that it can be a challenge to maintain one's sacred virginity when we live in a world that is crazed about sex. We see it everywhere on TV. We hear about it all the time from friends and possibly family. You might even talk or hint or at least think about it daily. It is no wonder it is difficult to remain chaste.
The key to remaining chaste is to control ones thoughts and thinking about sex so often. Speaking about it also fuels the fire. Listening to others who talk about it does not help. Definitely have a boy or girl friend does very well lead to sex.
Put your mind on something more worthwhile and beneficial for ones age and for your future benefit. I hope this is something's you can share with your friend.
Patriarch Wrote: Unfortunately all sinners go to hell. Actually everyone who dies go to hell. Now whether a person stays dead eternally depends on how one has lived life before death.
Where in the world did you read that??????
Well, she's only sixteen so she should try and grow up so fast by having sex with her boyfriend. She's way too young for that and she should risk getting pregnant. I believe that couples shouldn't have sex before marriage, but I don't believe that they will go to hell if they do. From my beliefs, God doesn't send people to hell when they have sinned against him. God is forgiving and if something happens then it happens, but I would not put hell in the picture because of that.
If you go to Heaven depends on if you have accepted Christ as your Savior, we are all sinners, the difference is some are saved sinners and others are not. As saved people, we try not to sin, but we all fail at time.
I would worry at this point of STD, pregnancy and other first hand issues. Their relationship with God will be their own personal issue
That is a good question. In the bible if you read it it says that Jesus would always forgive us no matter what, just as long as you really mean your apology when you say it you'll be fine. You will not go to hell, although God does frown upon that and wishes you would listen to him.
It's not worth the heartache at this time in their life. They don't have the coping tools if something goes wrong. Please tell them to wait. I don't think their love of god will stop them, because we live in a secular, liberal society that pushes sex at every angle. The fact that they're thinking of it is a symptom of the depravity of our society. Dare them to be different. Our focus in a christian walk should always be purity first, internally and externally. I'll pray for their purity, cause I think they need our prayers.
Yeahh. I told her that she should wait until she knows her boyfriend is really the right one, and she loves him so much that they could get married.
However, she interjected me when I was talking to her. She said that her boyfriend had talked to his parents about sex, and they agreed with him that sex is for people that truly love each other. What do I say to that?
If that's all he took away from his discussion about sex with his parents, I think his parents would disagree that this statement would be a go-ahead to have sex. To truly love someone is to put their best interests first, not our own. They barely got a driver's license. They are very young, and sex is a responsibility to another person. Let them ask their parents if they should have sex. The parents are older, more experienced, and can make wiser decisions regarding their children, who are not yet adult.
Where in the world did you read that??????[/QUOTE]
Ecclesiastes 3:19, 20 "which befalleth...men befalleth beasts:...as the one dieth, so dieth
the other" "All go unto one place"
Ecclesiastes 9:10 ""in the grave, wither thou goest"
How on earth did you get such an interpretation from those verses? That's not what that means at all!Quote:
Originally Posted by Patriarch
With all do respect ( and please forgive my English) I think that we all miss something very important here.
We forgett that if I have sex with someone , I am one flesh with that person , in other words , married to that person and that's how God sees me.
If I amy say , dear unknown624,you could ask your friend that you care so much about, if she would like to be considered married before God, if your friend cares about God, because if she does not then probably you are just losing your time.But to those who really care about God , having sex with a person is equal to be married to that person.It's as simple as that!
Why do you think otherwise?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Because it's simply not what those verses mean. Read them in context.Quote:
Originally Posted by Patriarch
Plus, God's grace is sufficient for me. Jesus' sacrifice was "good enough" to abolish eternal death for believers and to restore them to God's favor.
Then explain them to me by what other scripture says about the subject of death. This is the only way to prove the certainty of meaning of any scripture not by opinion or statement.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
It's not my opinion. What do you want to know about death? Ask specific questions, and I will give you Biblical answers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Patriarch
(It's 3:15 a.m. here in Chicagoland, and I must go to bed, but I will look for your questions when I am back online in the morning--after a cup or two of coffee.)
Dear Patriarch! I think you are focusing on the tree here than on the forest.
There are verces in the book of Ecclesiastes that you cannot isolate the way you do from the rest of the book because they can really mislead you.
The whole message of the book is coverd in chapter 12 ver. 13,14... 13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
In other words I cannot say who's going to hell and who's not that's God's job , because there are many secret things , good and evil.
Do not judge by the phenomenon that can mislead even the strongest , but judge in Christ who can save even the weakest!
Unknown,
There is NOTHING in the scripture that says that you will to Hell if you have sex before marriage! That is simply not true and there would be hardly anyone there if that were the case. You go to hell by denying Jesus Christ as your savior... nothing else will send you there.
Having said that, there is plenty in the scripture that says that sex outside of marriage is a sin. It is a sin because it isn't good for us. It can cause disease and relationship issues, and can even mess with our emotions in a very negative way. But even more importantly I believe the Bible teaches it is a sacred and spirtual act that is meant for husband and wife. It is beautiful and God isn't trying to keep something from you, He is trying to give something special to you... if you will heed his Word. That is my two cents.
God condemns all those who have committed sexual sins.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
This would even include lust.
Matthew 5:27-30 27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
All of us have broken God's commandments, and we need a Savior. But there here is some good news. God promises to save any sinner who repents of their sins, and places their trust in Jesus Christ alone as their Lord and Savior.
1 John 1:7-10 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
8If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
If your friend places her trust in the Lord, she will not go to hell.
John 6:47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.
If she rejects Christ, she will be thrown into the lake of fire, whether she commits fornication or not.
John 3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.
Not quite. God (the Law) condemns ALL sinners for ALL sins, big or small.Quote:
Originally Posted by saintjoan
[QUOTE=Wondergirl;1293179]It's not my opinion. What do you want to know about death? Ask specific questions, and I will give you Biblical answers.
Please use scriptures that back up your rebuttal of my statements. This will prove that your assertions are not merely your opinion. Also, take note that since the Bible is in total harmony, the scriptural explanations you use should be in harmony with all other scriptures on any particular subject. If the scripture(s) you use are contradictory with other scriptures then the explanation of such will be inaccurate.
This is true for there are many false prophets in the world, even those who claim to be Christian-- Matthew 7:15-23, 10:16, 15:1, 3, 24:4, 5; Acts 20:29, 30Quote:
Originally Posted by adam7gur
Dear Patriarch!
You write somewhere that every one who dies go to hell and then you use verses from the Ecclesiastes book to support your opinion.
I have one question... Since as you say that everyone who dies go to hell , when Jesus died did He go to hell also?If everyone who dies go to hell , then why did the Lord say to the criminal that was crusified with Him that they will both be together in Paradise that night?Not everyone who dies go to hell but everyone who is in hell , is dead!Death is not hell, but hell is death.The verses you used simply do not match with sex before marriage , and that is the question here.How did death come up?
Your judgement comes easily , but remember that the Pharisses did the same thing.They judged by the word of the law and not by the Spirit of the Law.
So what about death?Do you actually say that everyone who dies go to hell?What about Lazarus and the rich guy?Where did Lazarus go after his death?Definetaly not in hell!So how can you say what you say?If you say that everyone who lives his life in sin until his death will go to hell then I agree with you , but this is something else from everyone who dies go to hell.
Back to my old argument, how valuable is the bible if everyone is trying to figure out what it REALLY means when it says this or that. Who is to say what is really meant by a verse?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
To your question whether this girl will go to hell my candid answer is that NOBODY can tell. In the first place, let us hope she will live long enough to have plenty of opportunities to work for her own Salvation, is she believes in that possibility.
Being punished with whatever waits for us sinners who do not sincerely repent is something we cannot anticipate, as we cannot anticipate any of GOD’s designs.
If you read DANTE’s Divine Comedy, you will see that he “confortably” installs into Hell a lot of people that we should think we have gone directly to Heaven. Even some Popes! Of course, this is a fiction, but it has a lot of common sense in it.
On the other hand, premarital sex does not guarantee a successful marital life afterwards, and it does guarantee, instead, a potential source of problems which can be everyday seen and heard of in our media.
To stop this girl from doing it, you can only apply to her common sense! We have ALL being young, and we have ALL felt like having sex before having been married. I for one kept on begging my wife-to-be for the 3 last years before our marriage! Her answer was always the same – a flat NO! This next May we shall have been 59 years happily married!
Early sex may shorten sexual interest when married. We all know that the passion of newly weds does not last long! If they spend it before getting married what will be left for afterwards?
Perhaps this is one of the reasons so many couples who are living together for a while decide to get married one good day to divorce a few months later...
My gosh people!
This was originally written over 18 months ago, think it might be dead by now?
And your point is..Quote:
Originally Posted by 450donn
unknown624,
If a person wants to mess up the rest of their life having sex before marriage is a great way to do that.
So far there has been some good advice given and it should be followed.
Keep in mind that having sex before marriage something special is gone forever and great danger for someone so young has taken place.
Condoms are not 100% safe and should not be trusted. They break, they leak and sometime they come off.
Resisting the temptation to have sex builds character. It is a great way to strengthen ones self for trials in later life.
It is also a great way to be proud on ones self rather than regretting for the rest of life something a person has done that could have been avoided.
This is one of those times that saying "NO!!!!" is extremely important.
Peace and kindness,
Fred
I don't think its as simple as 'if u have sex before marriage u are going to hell' because Gos forgives every sin and also James said that a man that keeps all of Gods laws except one is as guilty as a man who brakes all of Gods laws. So doesn't that show that every sin is equal and we were born as sinners? We are always making mistakes but I don't think u should concentrate on them but concentrate on helping others and in your case I agree with the parenting expert, u should explain that it puts her in risk of getting pregnant and she is too young. Because also having sex is a way of binding two people together and most of the time at 16 your too young to make the decision as to who your going to be bound to for the rest of your life...
that's just my thoughts.. :)
Penguinio, Thanks for your thots on that.
Fred
I what I said can be considered a piece of good advice, then I think tha date of the thread is irrelevant.Quote:
Originally Posted by 450donn
In fact, I believe it can be applied to anybody facing the same problem.
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