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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

He IS an ordained minister? Or how did he get into a pulpit? Which denomination? Pentecostal?

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I guess he is. Most of the churches hd preached at were just little country churches. Nothing major. And we are non denominational Christians he says. My sister is dating a Baptist and my dad is so angry about it.. actually my boyfriend is Baptist too.. but my dad doesn't know yet because he is stationed in California. But oh my when he come home in a c

But oh my when he comes home in a couple months my dad will be furious. He knows I have a boyfriend.. he doesn't like it but doesn't say anything because he is not here right now. Whether it be baptist lutheran Methodist.. doesn't matter. They are all wrong to my dad. I don't understand.

Could you list some of the beliefs he has?

Are you in a rural area in the US?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Could you list some of the beliefs he has?
Are you in a rural area in the US?

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I'm in Indiana. He Is a big believer in the man being the head of the house.. which so am I but not to the extent he does. He is constantly putting my mom down. He also is a BIG believer in speaking in tongues and actually he believes if you don't speak in tongues you are not truly saved. Which I 100% do not believe,

My sister speaks in tongues (she says), but it's a private language between her and God--not to be done publicly.

Is there a family doctor?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

My sister speaks in tongues (she says), but it's a private language between her and God--not to be done publicly.
Is there a family doctor?

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That is how I believe it should be. Yes we have a family doctor but we don't get shots or anything like that. How come?

No shots? Your father is against that too? Do the children go to school?

I thought a doctor might have some input as to what is going on with your father mentally and emotionally and some clout to help the family.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No shots? Your father is against that too? Do the children go to school?
I thought a doctor might have some input as to what is going on with your father mentally and emotionally andsome clout to help the family.

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No shots. And yes we used to be homeschooled but with having nine kids it was just too much so they put us in public school. My dad does not really care for out doctor too much. I'm not too sure why. My sister and I have researched cults and religious fanatics many many times and a lot points to my dad. I believe you can have a healthy relationship with god.. which is what I have but my dad does not. All he can think about is God. He has pushed Everyone away in his life. Literally everyone.

I'm guessing your dad doesn't care for the doctor because the doctor is the voice of reason.

So the kids have all gotten their shots for school?

Yes, I agree about the cult. And it's not even Bible-based and Gospel-based, sounds like.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm guessing your dad doesn't care for the doctor because the doctor is the voice of reason
So the kids have all gotten their shots for school?
Yes, I agree about the cult. And it's not even Bible-based and Gospel-
based, sounds like.

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No ma'am. No shots. I think they sign a paper and say it's for religious reasons? My dad does also Preach the word to us a lot but he kind of only uses and follows what He wants to from bible.

Wow! Indiana schools must be pretty loose with their rules. More and more we are seeing long-since-defeated diseases like whooping cough and German measles popping up and killing kids who never had their shots.

So, you have lived with this for a long time and sound very smart and on top of what is going on. What do you think can happen to improve this situation?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Wow! Indiana schools must be pretty loose with their rules. More and more we are seeing long-since-defeated diseases like whooping cough and German measles popping up and
killing kids who never had their shots.
So, you have lived with this for a long time and sound very smart and on top
of what is going on. What do you
think can happen to improve this
situation?

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honestly I don't think there is anything that could help the situation. Unless my dad just LEFT. But I'm pretty sure he would not do that. I feel like it would be so wrong of me to leave because they need my help around here and I am so close with my Brothers and sisters.. I just don't think I could leave them. But everyday I feel like I'm growing more and more depressed. The only thing that keeps me sane is having my siblings here and feeling the same way I do.

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Originally Posted by Anna01

honestly I don't think there is anything that could help the situation. Unless my dad just LEFT. but I'm pretty sure he would not do that. I feel like it would be so wrong of me to leave because they need my help around here and I am so close with my Brothers and sisters..I just don't think I could leave them. But everyday I feel like I'm growing more and more depressed. The only thing that keeps me sane is having my siblings here and feeling the same way I do.

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I hesitate to use this word, but your dad is abusive. If any of the kids are under 18, an anonymous call to your local version of child protective services might be in order. I would also start looking into local services and organizations that assist with domestic abuse. One of those might be able to get all of you, including your mother, out of the house. While that sounds extreme, I know, domestic abuse is essentially what you're describing. It doesn't have to be physical abuse; mental and emotional abuse is very real, and your family is right in the thick of it.

Not really defending the dad,

But believign that the man is the head of the household.

Believing that one certain things ( in their case speaking in tongues) is a requirement of salvation

Controlling the dating of the children.

If we make that religion Islam, it would not be considered a cult but a major religion, where mom and dad decides who the child married, are allowed to beat the daughter for not obeying ( inside many muslim nations) And often carried on in the US.

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Originally Posted by dwashbur

I hesitate to use this word, but your dad is abusive. If any of the kids are under 18, an anonymous call to your local version of child protective services might be in order. I would also start
looking into local services and
organizations that assist with domestic
abuse. One of those might be able to get all of you, including your mother,
out of the house. While that sounds
extreme, I know, domestic abuse is
essentially what you're describing. It
doesn't have to be physical abuse;
mental and emotional abuse is very
real, and your family is right in the
thick of it.

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CPS has been here before. For physical abuse. And it was because my school counselor saw my bruised up face. Now he doesn't really physically abuse us anymore but it is mental. For example... he and my mom have no talked for two days because she just had enough of him. They have been fighting all night and for once she is standing up to him, I want to take all the kids and go. I'm going to see how everything is in the morning. I just hope my mom doesn't give into his control again... thank you for your response