Ask Me Help Desk - Helping other Christians?

Sometimes age helps us put the answer into perspective for a answer.

But the most mis-used word is the word judge, as a christian we are suppose to show our fellow christian what they are doing wrong, that is not judging them, it is merely showing that their behavior is not according to God's word. The bible is clear that if they are doing something wrong, you go tell them, if they still , you take 2 or 3 other christians with you to try and correct them and in the end, if they still don't, you bring them before the church for the church to correct them,

This was wrote in the days when a Christian would have changed if the church leaders told them to.

We can not judge esp the good deeds as to if they are pure or not, and we do not judge the bad acts as to motive and judge the person, but we do teach and warn them if and when they do wrong
If you don't, then you are not follow the entire bible.

The ones first to throw out the judging are the non christians
* not sure in this thread* since of course the non christian does not want to hear they are wrong.

But if you see the bible, it tells us to correct the fellow believer, not the heathen

A Christian sitting on the fence of apathy and not being the best Christian he can be, and you telling him, is like taking an alcoholic to an AA meeting. He might come around. He might be angry with you and shun you for the rest of his life. Perhaps I have read the Big Book of AA more than the Bible. The Christian Church only told me I was wrong and acting like a Heathen. AA told me I was okay just as I was, but had a lot of growing to do. I stuck with AA because they all told me about their eye-logs, and how they got them out.

The best way to convey a lifestyle is to just live it. Lead by example. If you two hang around together he will notice the change. If he says "what's up with you? just tell the truth. I've realized I haven't been living in a way that honors my best self and I want to do better. No need to point out his shortcomings. He will know them by watching you.

To come to someone else and point out their shortcomings is a sure fire way to NOT get a positive outcome. Here I go with the ego word again. His ego will not stand for being told it's in the wrong. It is funny how just about all our petty negative personality traits are derived from ego.

[QUOTE=Fr_Chuck;1490888]sometimes age helps us put the answer into perspective for a answer.

But the most mis-used word is the word judge, as a christian we are suppose to show our fellow christian what they are doing wrong, that is not judging them, it is merely showing that their behavior is not according to God's word. The bible is clear that if they are doing something wrong, you go tell them, if they still , you take 2 or 3 other christians with you to try and correct them and in the end, if they still don't, you bring them before the church for the church to correct them,

If you applied the rules of common sense you'd realize that this gang of christians telling another how they are behaving badly is the WORST way to reach another's soul. Not to mention the bad light it shines on the christian religion.

You say you don't judge, you show. Well show them what living like a christian looks like. Be benevolent, kind, helpful, etc. That is how you show them.

[QUOTE=cozyk;1494059]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

sometimes age helps us put the answer into perspective for a answer.

But the most mis-used word is the word judge, as a christian we are suppose to show our fellow christian what they are doing wrong, that is not judging them, it is merely showing that thier behavior is not according to God's word. The bible is clear that if they are doing something wrong, you go tell them, if they still , you take 2 or 3 other christians with you to try and correct them and in the end, if they still don't, you bring them before the church for the church to correct them,

If you applied the rules of common sense you'd realize that this gang of christians telling another how they are behaving badly is the WORST way to reach another's soul. Not to mention the bad light it shines on the christian religion.

You say you don't judge, you show. Well show them what living like a christian looks like. Be benevolent, kind, helpful, etc. That is how you show them.

I really hate the religious boards which always seem to go nowhere but that having been said...

My problem with any religion trying to tell people how to live their lives is the people giving the advice - I certainly don't know anyone who has led such an exemplary life that he/she is qualified to give advice to other people. Maybe people THINK they have but there always seems to be a chink in the armor.

I'm more impressed by people who say, "This is what I did. It was a very bad mistake. Don't do it," than I am by people who throw out free advice based on exactly nothing.

Now this will offend most Roman Catholics everywhere - ever go to a Priest for marriage counselling? How can a man who has never lived with a woman POSSIBLY have a clue about the problems that can occur? Years and years ago, when my first marriage was breaking up and we went for counselling we were told to pray. That's right. Pray. Meanwhile he hadn't drawn a sober breath in quite some time -

Unfortunately, because of my profession, I also know where a lot of bodies are buried (so to speak). I've investigated a cleryman in just about every religion I can think of.

So that's where I'm coming from.

I hate the religious boards.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nao381

Lol, he is not gay by the way, I was just using that as an example. Every Christian knows that being gay is not what God wants so that makes it bad. As a Christian I will still love that person and accept that person but I would not condone that behavior.

Another example, if your friend was committing adultery would you not confront your friend or would you just let your friend keep doing wrong. That is the bottom line. That has nothing to do with judging.

First of all, I don't believe that ALL christians know that being gay is not what God wants.
I think christians come in many shades of gray. From the most fundamental to the most tollarant.

If a friend was committing adultery I would not say, you are wrong, you are sinning, and you better stop now. I would probably approach it like this.

I feel that what you are doing is wrong and I can not be a part of it. Do not include me in your deception because I can't help you with it. I'll be here for you to help you with stopping this or getting over this but that is all. I love you and I hope you have the strength to do what you know is right. Notice I did not say, do what I or God says is right. That makes it a me or us against you situation. Your friend already knows what she is doing is wrong. She needs to answer to the voice of her higher self inside that already knows the answer. It's the same with all sins. We KNOW what we are doing and someone else pointing it out to us is detrimental to the cause.

>>>>>Now this will offend most Roman Catholics everywhere - ever go to a Priest for marriage counselling? How can a man who has never lived with a woman POSSIBLY have a clue about the problems that can occur?

I suppose it is similar to many other aspects in life. You may not experience it yourself, but you can certainly learn about it.

For example, look how many OBs are men, and yet they have obviously never given birth.
I've never had a c-section, and yet I teach others about them. People go to counselors or therapists, but no doubt they have not experienced everything their clients have.

I think the suggestions you received, or did not receive, were not wholly directed to the issues at hand and that made for a far less than satifactory experience with a priest being a marriage counselor. Perfectly understandable given the circumstances.

However, one poor experience with a priest as a marriage counselor does not mean others would follow suit. I do hope you went to another counselor if you found that one not up to par.