Hi,
I have three boys and am a single mom. My middle son was close to his dad who has basically walked out of their lives. I have been the only one to always take care of them. My middle son will not talk to me, won't kiss or hug me and is really sometimes just mean to me. I spend a lot of time taking him to his sports, etc. and nothing helps us get closer. I don't want our relationship to be this way but I don't know how to get through to him.

Sometime the behavior of the child has nothing to do with you. You have to seek, search and find what is going on in his life. The hate you feel in him could be the discipline, rules, guidelines, standards and procedures you have set down for your home. He could be rejecting all of these. The rejection and hate is what is going on inside of his life, not your life. Sometimes and I am speaking through experience here, the best policy in the home is silence. Sometime the parent needs to be silent so that the child can hear himself think.
Sometimes parents talk too much. Sometimes they don't know when to shut up. I learned the hard way just be quiet until the child opens up and want to talk to you. This is a hard pill to shallow because it is your home. Sometimes the hate the child feels for the parent is the hate they feel for themselves. If your son hates himself, it is not about you, it is about him. Find out what is going on around him, his friends, his neighbors do an investigation quietly and you might come up with some surprising answers. Finally, Pray, Pray and Pray.

My guess is that he doesn't hate you at all but that because his dad walked out he's taking his frustrations out on you. I'm not sure how much you try to talk but simply saying something like "I can tell you're frustrated. You know you can always talk to me," might get your more results than you think. Without pushing the issues, if he doesn't want to talk to you, you might be able to suggest counseling, so that he would have someone to talk to and help him sort out his thoughts. I know I went through a lot when I was about that age and one thing that really helped was counseling, but that was something that I did at school. I'm not sure what teacher/friend/parent suggested the counselor get in touch with me but just having someone on the outside to talk to might help as well. Good luck! And hang in there. Your son doesn't hate you.

I'm reading a book called "Have A New Kid by Friday" , by Dr. Kevin Leman, I highly recommend it. I'm so sorry that you're having such a time, but it will get better. Try this book, as it addresses all the issues that you're having.
You came here for answers, here it is.
GOD bless you and your family.