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-   -   My son is seeing a speech therapist (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=91955)

  • May 12, 2007, 07:36 PM
    robertsqueen
    My son is seeing a speech therapist
    Okay so here is the deal. My son who is two (as you all know lol) is seeing a speech therapist. The doctor prescribed it, so I went along with it for a few weeks. Well now she is getting kind of weird. There are a few things that bother me about her.

    1) she says that he needs behavior management because he bites (only when frustrated or excited) and said that she was going to call the doctor, even though I told her no.

    2) She plays inside his mouth and presses on his teeth.. he is teething right now and his teeth and sensitive. Also she does this without gloves.

    3) She has let him drink off her cup... isn't that unprofessional?

    4) The last time she was here she had two toys and told him that he couldn't play with them unless he said me... she kept repeating the word and told him no even when he said please. He got so frustrated he bit himself and started to bawl. I don't think that she should be pushing him that hard. We have taught him to say please when he wants something... also he says me, I, mommy when she isn't here.

    4) She says that I don't displine him good enough. That I need to work on not being so sweet.

    5) When I told him that he has been biting... she told me to bite him back. Okay I am college and I have taken parenting classes and every class that I have taken has told me that biting a child back is just teaching him to bite more. This really upset me.

    I told my husband and family what has been taking place... they say that I should tell her that I want to quit the sessions. I am confused. I think that for a two year old he talks fine... but I also don't have a degree on that topic...

    So my question is: What do you guys think? I value your opinion and I am really stuck on this one.
  • May 12, 2007, 07:54 PM
    AW805
    Why would your son need a speech therapist at 2 years old?
    You should not bite your child for biting. You are right, he bites out of frustration and excitement and also kids bite because they are teething. Follow your instinct. I have to agree with you-- she sounds very unprofessional and what she is doing and saying is wrong on so many levels.
  • May 12, 2007, 07:58 PM
    robertsqueen
    Not only that but sharing germs with him? What professional lets her patient drink out of their glass... and she doesn't wear gloves because it reminds children of the doctor?
  • May 12, 2007, 07:58 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    1. While most likely legal, not ethical

    2. are they pressing on the teeth or showing them how to hold the tongue and how to shape the mouth

    a. gloves.. ok 30 years ago, they all did, but not in today's society

    3. not professional at all.

    4. standard basically motivation, but then that relates to number one the biting, which is a serious issue

    5. no biting them back is against the law even, spanking them is very correct and needs to be done to stop the biting

    I think I am concerned why you did not already pull them out and why you even had to ask anyone, about 1/2 though the first session of that, my child and me would be out the door.

    I can't see what you are stuck on??
  • May 12, 2007, 08:07 PM
    AW805
    Sorry Fr_Chuck, I don't agree with you on spanking for biting.

    Robertsqueen: I still don't understand why a 2 year old is going to speech therapy (? ). Most children don't really start making sense until they're about 3-4. My daughter sounded like she was was from New Jersey and had a bad lisp. Children outgrow these things.
  • May 12, 2007, 08:22 PM
    AKaeTrue
    My son will be starting speech therapy this fall (he's 4).
    We've been to all the prescreenings so far.
    During the evaluation, they did check his mouth
    (teeth, tongue, and the roof of his mouth) to make sure it was developed the right way and not causing the problem.
    They also wore gloves.

    Drinking from the same cup is absolutely unacceptable - who knows where her mouth has been!
    There needs to be a stop to that.
    Just tell her you don't feel comfortable with your son drinking after her.

    When my son was younger, I was debating weather or not to put him in speech therapy.
    I was told that at 2 years old you can't tell if there is really a problem or if it's just baby talk.
    It was recommended for me, that if he still had a problem, to wait until he was 4.

    I've never had a bitting problem with my kids, but I wouldn't suggest bitting him back.
    I believe the people who suggest that probably feel that if the child realizes that it hurts the person they're biting, they'll stop.
    This wouldn't be the case for you because your son bites himself and knows it hurts.
    The woman gave you very bad and unprofessional advice there...

    If you'd like to continue speech therapy, could you suggest a different therapist?

    Kae
  • May 12, 2007, 08:27 PM
    robertsqueen
    Yeah. He was put into speech therapy because the doctor was worried that he wasn't speaking correctly. I went along wth it thinking what harm could it do? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I think that this is too much at one time for him. He gets upset if you even mention her name. I thougtht that he was talking just fine... but all these professionals keep telling me that he is not. I just want to do what is best for my son... you know? I was in specail education and speech therapy until I was in high school. I don't want him to go through all that... the name calling... they think its because he has had ear problems.. he has gotten two sets of tubes already.
  • May 12, 2007, 08:29 PM
    robertsqueen
    I live in a small town and there is no other speech therapist. No, she told me that I have to put my fingers in his mouth and press on his teeth ten times... each day, five times a day. He hates it.. exspecailly because he is teething.
  • May 12, 2007, 08:37 PM
    AKaeTrue
    Why do you have to press on his teeth?
  • May 12, 2007, 08:38 PM
    robertsqueen
    She said it sends signals up to his brain to talk. But it really hurts him and he cries.
  • May 12, 2007, 08:40 PM
    AKaeTrue
    I've never heard that before.
  • May 12, 2007, 08:42 PM
    robertsqueen
    And neither did I? That's one reason why I am sceptical about her.
  • May 12, 2007, 08:55 PM
    AW805
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by robertsqueen
    She said it sends signals up to his brain to talk. But it really hurts him and he cries.

    What? Pressing on a child's teeth? That sounds really crazy.
  • May 12, 2007, 08:59 PM
    AKaeTrue
    You know, my son had ear problems too.
    He'd have temper tantrums (minus the biting) out of frustration in not being able to communicate his wants and feelings.
    We learned sign language together - just simple communication signs like drink, hungry, play, toys, I love you, no, yes, happy, sad, - you get the idea... we did this along with speaking to him.
    It was just an easy way for him to communicate instead of us not knowing what he was saying and playing the guessing game and getting no where with it.
    As new words would come up, we'd just learn them together.
    Like once I remember we were outside and an airplane was flying over head.
    He was interested in it, so we learned the sign for airplane.
    We were in the store some time after that and my children were picking out a surprise and he told me he wanted a toy airplane by using the signs - had we not learned it , there probably would have been a temper tantrum inside the store because I would have had no idea what he was wanting or looking for.
    It worked wonders with the temper tantrums in all areas of our life because he could communicate.
  • May 12, 2007, 09:00 PM
    robertsqueen
    We are working on using sign lanuge and a word book...
  • May 12, 2007, 09:04 PM
    AKaeTrue
    That's great!
    If he's having temper tantrums because of frustration with communicating, it may help - it did with my son.
    They pick up on it very quickly too.
  • May 13, 2007, 07:43 AM
    Myth
    The woman sounds like a quack... I would not be letting my children see her again. She is probably paying the dr's a kickback for the referals. The dr might be going off your history as far as speech problems. If there isn't anything physically wrong and you don't think that he needs it don't do it. Mommy knows best... and you know your son. You have to think, would you rather spare her feeling or your sons terror at the whole situation. He may decide not to talk at all if she keeps up with her "speech therapy". The choice is yours of course, but I know what mine would be hurt feelings or not. Besides, it sounds like he's doing good for his age. If you really want to know about his speech take him to a daycare with four and five year olds who speak well and see how he does. An hour a day and he should learn to speak more and more very soon. Children love to be challenged by other slightly older children.
  • May 13, 2007, 08:02 AM
    talaniman
    You need a second opinion really bad, and a new doctor. I don't agree with anything your current doctor recommends at all. I think he would be better served at home with common sense and love.
  • May 13, 2007, 08:12 AM
    NowWhat
    I would say that ANY time you have reservations about ANYONE who interacts with your kids - then you should seek another opinion. If you feel this speech therapist is off base - take him some where else. A lot of times, colleges have programs that you could take your child to.
    As a mom, you should always trust your gut and NEVER be afraid of hurting someone's feelings - when it comes to the wellness of your child. It is okay to have different opinions. Remember, you are paying for this service and if you don't feel like you are getting your monies worth - say something.
  • May 13, 2007, 08:17 AM
    excon
    Hello r:

    I don't know nothing about speech therapy stuff. But, if you're not happy with him, and for the sake of your baby, you need to travel to another town.

    excon
  • May 13, 2007, 10:12 PM
    robertsqueen
    Thank you I have decided to tell her that I wish to not continue speech therapy anymore. I am going to wait, I feel he is far to young.
  • May 13, 2007, 11:02 PM
    tawnynkids
    Good choice! She didn't sound right at all!
  • May 14, 2007, 04:11 AM
    isabelle
    With all the good advice given you.. I have to ask.. Why is your child still seeing this woman?
  • May 14, 2007, 04:34 AM
    talaniman
    My grand daughter is 2 1/2, She talks a mixture of english and klingon. She bites like hell, but a little smack on the butt sends her running... for a while. My mother said I did the same thing, till I figured out how to steal cookies from the cabinets. (Broke the jar the year before)
  • May 14, 2007, 06:11 AM
    vlee
    If your son's doctor thinks his speech is lacking and is aware of the ear problems, why didn't her refer you to an audiologist in the first place? It makes more sense to evaluate the child's hearing before attempting speech therapy. I agree with the others... your son is too young for anyone to make a determination of his ability to speak. Lots of kids speak gibberish and just suddenly start making sense. I would say the time to begin worrying is when he begins attending preschool. He'll be old enough for a real professional to diagnose him if he has a problem, and it's the best time to correct it if there is one.
  • May 14, 2007, 06:38 AM
    excon
    Hello again:

    I advised seeing another speech therapist. I'll stick with that advice. What I would NOT do, is take the advice of strangers on the internet OVER what my doctor told me. I just wouldn't do that. Why would you go to someone whom you ignore?? If you think your own doctor is wrong, then change doctors - DON'T IGNORE HIM.

    excon
  • May 14, 2007, 08:43 AM
    tawnynkids
    Hey guys, has anyone noticed... Robertsqueen posted about her decision already. :) post #21
  • May 14, 2007, 08:46 AM
    Lowtax4eva
    Point being? If he was prescribed a speech therapist it's probably because he has a bad lisp which some people might find cute but it's easiest to fix it now. As excon suggested maybe just see a new speech therapist if this one makes you feel uncomfortable.
  • May 14, 2007, 08:54 AM
    tawnynkids
    Very true Low. I would seek out another on as well. But unfortunately for Robertsqueen she did say in post #8... "I live in a small town and there is no other speech therapist."
  • May 14, 2007, 09:04 AM
    excon
    Hello again, tawny:

    If it was MY kid, I'd travel wherever I had to for my children. But, that's just me.

    excon
  • May 14, 2007, 09:43 AM
    J_9
    Hey RQ: I guess it is time to add my two cents in, so here goes...

    You are doing the right thing by holding off now on the ST (speech therapy for the lay people). Coming from a long line of early childhood educators (MIL is a 4th grade teacher, Niece has her Masters in early childhood development, other Niece is a Masters level speech therapist, etc), and having 4 children myself, I can say through experience and education that 2 years old is too young for speech therapy.

    I had a similar problem with my boy who is now 5, and all family members with Masters level in early childhood education/development/speech therapy told me that at that age they still have their own language and are still learning to just form their little mouths to make the words. Here is one quote from the speech therapy niece...

    "English can be a rather difficult language to learn, we cannot expect them to master it and be fluent in it in only two years, one of which was primarily spent eating, crying and sleeping." She also noted that it is important that we do not use "baby talk" to our children from birth, talk to them like you would like to be talked to as this strengthens their vocabulary for when their speech patterns do begin to develop.

    Now, forgive me if I missed it, but did you have his hearing checked by an audiologist? If not, it would be worth your time. If so, and everything is fine, just remember to enunciate clearly when talking to him. Get down on his level so that you are eye to eye when you are communicating new words or ideas.

    When my son was 2, he did what we called "monkeying" he would make a monkey sound to get what he wanted rather than to talk. My 2 nieces said that I was not to give him what he wanted until he said the word... "juice" for instance. They told me that for him speech therapy is not effective until at leasst 3 1/2 years of age.

    Personally, I do think you are doing the right thing.
  • May 14, 2007, 12:39 PM
    rosepedal
    I have a 5year old little girl and she is in early intervention speech classes through the school that have been great for her. She didn't speak at all when I first got her at 2years and she is still having problems. I don't know where your from or if they have that specific program but I would try going through a public school, if you as the parent are concerned. There are plenty of people out there that would like you to never let your child do anything and constantly be in some sort of class for some kind of "problem" but in the end I think you should go with what you believe. Personnally I would end the classes and tell everyone I know not to go to them. I think that the teacher is doing a lot more harm than help.
  • May 14, 2007, 03:13 PM
    robertsqueen
    I can't change his doctor we live in a small town and there is only one doctor. I have taken him to the ear specialist and he has had two sets of tubes as well as had his anoids taken out. I do make sure to talk to him like an adult, and I also make sure that if he wants something that he has to tell me what he wants. I just don't think that he is in need of speech therapy. I tried it, but it doesn't seem to be working. He says things like I do and I did. He can tell you what animals say. I read to him all the time. I think and hope that I am doing the right things by him.
  • May 14, 2007, 06:28 PM
    AKaeTrue
    I think you're doing absolutely right by him.
    You tried speech therapy, it's not working out at this time.
    I think and truly feel that the things you're doing with him yourself
    Will be more beneficial to him at his age.
    Keep up the good work.

    Kae
  • May 15, 2007, 07:03 AM
    NowWhat
    As a parent, there is no greater tool than our instinct. God gave it to you for a reason - don't be afraid to use it. :)
    You know your son, you know what is right for him - just trust yourself and give yourself some more credit. You are doing a fine job.
  • May 15, 2007, 09:27 AM
    dannysmom
    My son is now 4 started early at 18 months and next month is his last month. Start early to correct problems. Your therapist is unprofessional. Get rid of her. I know the county I live in pays for the child under three to get evaluated at all levels. Emotional, social, speech , physical as well as occupational therapy. Talk to your local school district they can direct you to the proper departments to talk to.
  • May 15, 2007, 08:11 PM
    robertsqueen
    We told her today that we wanted to stop seeing her... and now he is done. That is a big step for me to stick up to someone.
  • May 15, 2007, 09:57 PM
    vlee
    She sounds like a quack... I think you did the right thing. There are professional professionals out there. I hope you find them.
  • May 15, 2007, 10:40 PM
    krystal1973
    My son is deaf, and was recommended speech therapy after diagnosis. He was there 2 weeks and they said he didn't need it. Is your son communicating with you where you can at least understand it. He is 2 years old, but your doctor probably recommended him for a reason, was he really behind in speech or was his speech unclear?
    As far as hurting the speech therapists feelings, don't worry about that, your child's best interest comes first. If he needs speech therapy do not limit yourself because she is the only one in town, you may have to drive to another town if that's what he needs.
  • May 16, 2007, 05:23 AM
    NowWhat
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by robertsqueen
    We told her today that we wanted to stop seeing her...and now he is done. That is a big step for me to stick up to someone.

    I am glad you made that step. You should really prepare yourself for future "battles". This won't be the last time that you will have to step up and fight for what you think it best when it comes to your child.
    When he gets in school or sports - or whatever comes your way. You can do it.
    I think sometimes we make it up in our head that we are going to tell someone something and they are going to fly off the handle. So we try to avoid it. When in reality - it isn't always like that.
    Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. The last thing you want as a parent is to have regrets.

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