Ask Me Help Desk - Please help

Please help.

Hi I'm in grade 6 and I have a really huge crush on this girl who goes to my church but I only get to see her every 2-3 weeks and only in the winter anyway I need to do something when I do see her. We've never talked and I don't have her email. I first want to become friends than maybe move on anyway I'm kind of shy when I'm around her I'm in grade 6 and her in 7 but she doesn't go to my school. So please tell me what I should do!!

Talk to her and get to know her. That is the first step. Go up to her and say hello.

Next time you see her ask her if you can call and get to know her.

What should I say

So I have a crush on this girl that goes to our church and I guessed her email and got it right and she asked who it was and I told her It was me. I want her to like me but I don't know what to say. I'm too shy to talk to her in person so please help me

Maybe start by explaining to her why you guessed at her EMail, to contact her and be honest, you were to shy to ask her for it in person. Never try to make someone like you, just be yourself, and be honest, and put your best foot forward and see if she likes that person.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Maybe start by explaining to her why you guessed at her EMail, to contact her and be honest, you were to shy to ask her for it in person. Never try to make someone like you, just be
yourself, and be honest, and put your best foot forward and see if she likes that person.

thanks I will try

Ok so I shared texting her more and now were sort of friends but we haven't met in person. Recently she has asked me to meet her somewhere and I'm kind of nervous. I don't know what to do please help me

Where are you meeting? She asked you so that should take some of the pressure off. Just talk to her. Do your parents know you are meeting this girl?

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Where are you meeting? She asked you so that should take some of the pressure off. Just talk to her. Do your parents know you are meeting this girl?

I am catholic so I go to church every Sunday and so does she. Our families both stay awhile after mass so she told me to meet in the basement and no our parents don't know and no I'm not telling them

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ilud2

I am catholic so I go to church every Sunday and so does she. Our families both stay awhile after mass so she told me to meet in the basement and no our parents don't know and no I'm not telling them

Why do you have to go to the basement to talk? Can't you talk with your parents around and with other churchgoers still about? Meeting in the basement sounds creepy and sneaky. I'm surprised she'd be willing to go there since she doesn't even know you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Why do you have to go to the basement to talk? Can't you talk with your parents around and with other churchgoers still about? Meeting in the basement sounds creepy and sneaky. I'm surprised she'd be willing to go there since she doesn't even know you.

I don't know why she said there can you please just answer my question

First of all, I would refuse to meet her in the basement. If an adult sees you going there or finds you there, you could get into big trouble. (What's in the basement? Will there be people down there?)

What to talk about -- school (favorite and worst subjects), favorite foods, sports, Christmas, siblings, pets, songs you like, bands and groups you like, TV shows, movies.

You both are too young for this which is evident by your sneaking and not knowing how to behave.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

First of all, I would refuse to meet her in the basement. If an adult sees you going there or finds you there, you could get into big trouble. (What's in the basement? Will there be people down there?)

What to talk about -- school (favorite and worst subjects), favorite foods, sports, Christmas, siblings, pets, songs you like, bands and groups you like, TV shows, movies.

Thanks for the subjects and we are allowed to be down there and yes there will probably be other people down there

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You both are too young for this which is evident by your sneaking and not knowing how to behave.

Not knowing how to behave? She told me to go down there because we have never met in person. And there will be other people in the basement. It's not like she asked me to go anywhere where it will just be the two of us

Is your church basement a normal place for people to be? Are there things going on there for the young people? When you see people having a problem grasping what you are saying then explain instead of getting impatient.

Back in my day the basement was where all the bible classes where. How about this basement YOU are talking about?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Is your church basement a normal place for people to be? Are there things going on there for the young people? When you see people having a problem grasping what you are saying then explain instead of getting impatient.

Back in my day the basement was where all the bible classes where. How about this basement YOU are talking about?

Yes this basement is a normal place for people to be

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ilud2

Yes this basement is a normal place for people to be

In other words, you and the girl don't want your family members to see you talking with each other and then get hit later at home with a bunch of nosy and embarrassing questions like -- "Who was that you were talking to?" and "How do you know that person?" (I'm trying to remember how I would have felt and thought at your age.)

Why are you not telling your parents you're meeting this girl? Do they allow this?

Thanks for clearing that up. Say hi, and put your best foot forward and lead with how glad you are to meet in person, and tell her why you made contact with her in the first place, and make eye contact. Just be yourself without the fear, or try not to show it. Admitting you are nervous may not be a bad idea if you follow through with a few simple social skills. The first being if she is with friends acknowledge them too, with a simple friendly greeting.

Its not as bad as you think, if you keep it real and don't expect to impress but to present yourself. Friendly and happy go lucky and casual is a good presentation and have some faith in yourself. Church is your common theme here, and a good place to start any conversations. Above all just go with the flow and relax, and see what happens. Don't worry if she likes you, its just a step in putting a face to someone who has been texting her. Natural curiosity on her part.

Its just a first meet, not a confession, and besides your own fears, she may have them too. Especially with her friends around. Short and sweet is probably your best bet. Paying attention and being confident in yourself and NOT just wrapped up in your own feelings and fears is a must do.

Thank you talaniman and wonder girl about the questions from my parents that is exactly why

Talk to her where everyone else is socializing. It will make both sets of parents more comfortable with you being friends. Just being friends is age appropriate for now, and you can both join the teen activities at church when you 're old enough to be one better friends. If you start sneaking around, nothing good will come of it.

I agree with dontknownuthin, sneaking around is not good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I agree with dontknownuthin, sneaking around is not good.

Can you guys please understand that we're not sneaking around

Don't get riled young guy, we know you aren't sneaking around, or ready to talk to your parents about this crush. That's normal for your age and unless I miss my guess they probably know more than they let on any way.

Had a few church crushes myself back in the day. Adults are always watching.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Don't get riled young guy, we know you aren't sneaking around, or ready to talk to your parents about this crush. That's normal for your age and unless I miss my guess they probably know more than they let on any way.

Had a few church crushes myself back in the day. Adults are always watching.

Thank you for actually understanding how I feel

I was nervous as all get out. Just remember she has parents too, or may have different ideas of what to do about meeting you or interacting with you. Take your time and go slow and be yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

i was nervous as all get out. Just remember she has parents too, or may have different ideas of what to do about meeting you or interacting with you. Take your time and go slow and be yourself.

Thank you!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ilud2

Can you guys please understand that we're not sneaking around

What I mean by sneaking around is going off to some area of the church where your parents don't know where you went of who you are talking to. I understood that to be your plan.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

What I mean by sneaking around is going off to some area of the church where your parents don't know where you went of who you are talking to. I understood that to be your plan.

I'm trying to say that my parents don't really care where I go in the church it's a small church and neither do hers and I am firmilier with the church because my mom works there and I have to spend hours there anyway

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ilud2

I'm trying to say that my parents don't really care where I go in the church it's a small church and neither do hers and I am firmilier with the church because my mom works there and I have to spend hours there anyway

If it's a small church, undoubtedly Mrs.S0-And-So will notice you and this girl talking in the basement and will then mention it to your mom. I grew up in a small church (and my dad was the pastor) -- and couldn't move a muscle without someone reporting it to my parents.

Why are you so wrapped up about a girl at your age? Do you play sports? Forget about girls for awhile and get in a game where you can run off some energy. You will meet a girl when the time is right, but right now you need to play and have fun with your friends. You are only this age for a very short time. Good luck!

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She told me to go down there because we have never met in person.

This creeps me out. How do you get a crush on a girl, stalk her to the point where you guess her email, and luckily get it right, then meet in the church basement when you don't even have permission to date, when you haven't even met in person?

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I cannot believe all the suggestions and advice people are giving this young child.

Why are you so wrapped up about a girl at your age? Do you play sports? Forget about girls for awhile and get in a game where you can run off some energy. You will meet a girl when the time is right, but right now you need to play and have fun with your friends. You are only this age for a very short time. Good luck!

You only have six posts, and I tried to rep you (give an agree) and it tells me I have to spread the rep. I don't recognize your name yet, but obviously I agree with you, otherwise I wouldn't have to spread the rep before giving it to you again.

In other words, I couldn't agree more.

Not everyone has given this kid advice on dating. I think he's too young as well. I thinking the whole thing is crazy. He has never even talked to her now he's meeting her in the basement.

Come on guys, the church basement is a public place where all the social activity is.

Quote:

Come on guys, the church basement is a public place where all the social activity is.

Now I'm confused. Most of the people that I see posting here, tell other 11 year olds that they're too young to date. But this one it's okay, because he goes to church? Is that the case?

I went to church. I remember the church basement. After services there was no one there. It was for the youth group, for meetings, but on Sundays it was empty. The perfect place for two kids that are sneaking around because their parents don't want them dating, and which parent would want their 11 year old child to date?

But apparently I'm wrong since both of these kids go to church, so it's okay to break the rules.

Really not understanding. Did I miss something?

He wants to talk to her after church. He didn't mention dating her (yet). He wants to get to know her.

He mentioned in #14 that there will be other people down in the basement and "it's a normal place for people to be." (At my church, for instance, the kitchen is in the basement, and the after-church coffee and danish/cookie get-together is held there.)

Thank you wondrgirl can you guys understand that we are not trying to date?? We have never met in person. Am I talking to a wall??

No you are not talking you a wall (no need to be rude) you are talking to a few adults that have a problem with kids your age meeting without your parents knowledge in the basement of the church.
You can follow whatever advice you want.

Not everyone attended churches where the basement was a hub of activity ALL the time. I did. And a 11/12 year olds definition of dating is much different from the ideas of us older people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kellb08

Why are you so wrapped up about a girl at your age? Do you play sports? Forget about girls for awhile and get in a game where you can run off some energy. You will meet a girl when the time is right, but right now you need to play and have fun with your friends. You are only this age for a very short time. Good luck!

So you said meeting girls when the time is right I AM TRYING HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO MEET GIRLS WHEN YOUR SAYING TO WAIT AND WAIT. And yes I play sports I have soccer for 2 hours three nights a week