Ask Me Help Desk - Living on your own at 15

Living on your own at 15

Is it possible to be emancipated & not put into a home or anything like that if you have somebody 18 taking care of you? & if you do have school & a job? Would like to know.. I'm 15 by the way. I realize at 16 in canada you can choose to leave home legally, but I can't really wait

Why can't you wait?

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Why can't you wait?

I rather not say, long story anyway.

You are going to find.. the things that seem so important to most 15 year olds mean absolutely nothing when you are a few years older...

Can't speak for Canadian law here... but in the USA... the ONLY way you are going to do it is if you are fully capable of completely supporting yourself... financially and otherwise... without help from anyone else... and then only after you proved that to the courts...

Something expensive and time consuming... that very, very few young people are capable of.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

You are going to find..the things that seem so important to most 15 year olds mean absolutely nothing when you are a few years older...

Can't speak for Canadian law here....but in the USA....the ONLY way you are going to do it is if you are fully capible of completely supporting yourself...financially and otherwise...without help from anyone else....and then only after you proved that to the courts....

Something expensive and time consuming....that very, very few young people are capible of.

I'm pretty sure pregnancy, mental illnesses & my own personal happiness will still mean something when I'm older.. & sigh.. thought so, guess I'll just kick it back and wait . Thanks.

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Originally Posted by nimym

i'm pretty sure pregnancy, mental illnesses & my own personal happiness will still mean something when i'm older.. & sigh.. thought so, guess i'll just kick it back and wait . thanks.

Life on your own is not the way you imagine it will be... its actually a pretty harsh world out there and its going to be a few more years before you will really be able to take it on... and yes three or four years at this stage of your life actually will make that big of a difference.

And also make the differnce between someone that is barely getting by... and someone who is making a comfortable living.

In a few more years you are going to really understand what I just said are more than words on a computer screen.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Life on your own is not the way you imagine it will be.....its actually a pretty harsh world out there and its going to be a few more years before you will really be able to take it on.....and yes three or four years at this stage of your life actually will make that big of a difference.

And also make the differnce between someone that is barely getting by....and someone who is making a comfortable living.

In a few more years you are going to really understand what I just said are more than words on a computer screen.

Well, I wouldn't be supporting all myself.. my sister is 18 & has 4 jobs, plus I'd get one and she'll let me live with her so.. it's hard I realize, but not as much as if I was completely on my own, I get what you're saying though.

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Originally Posted by nimym

well, i wouldn't be supporting all myself.. my sister is 18 & has 4 jobs, plus i'd get one and she'll let me live with her so.. it's hard i realize, but not as much as if i was completely on my own, i get what you're saying though.

If she's having to work 4 jobs to get by... the odds are a court won't give her custody of you... which would be the better approach to take than expecting emancipation... which is very different.

That would be expensive and require courts and lawyers as well.

Happiness isn't a standard to meet... what most adolescents want is rarely what good for them and in their best interests.

If there is serious abuse where you are now however... the courts would take that into consideration... but again... money and time are going to be a problem if someone is working 4 jobs.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

If she's having to work 4 jobs to get by...the odds are a court won't give her custody of you....which would be the better approach to take than expectin emancipation...which is very different.

That would be expensive and require courts and lawyers as well.

Happiness isn't a standard to meet.....what most adolescents want is rarely what good for them and in their best interests.

If there is serious abuse where you are now however....the courts would take that into consideration.....but again...money and time are going to be a problem if someone is working 4 jobs.

She works 4 jobs because she has horses & such, not to get by. She has quite abit of cash..

If you give us a summary of what you are up against, we just might be able to make some helpful suggestions. Your question comes up a lot, with teens unhappy at home for various reasons.

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Originally Posted by nimym

she works 4 jobs because she has horses & such, not to get by. she has quite abit of cash..

Then have her try to get custody of you through the courts if the living situation now is so bad... if she's got money and its really that bad now.. thats your best option.

I find it hard to believe an 18 year old has all that much money if they didn't inherit it. Or that they would be working 4 jobs if they didn't need it.

But then... what might seem like a lot of money at 15... really isn't much when you have to pay all the bills and stuff and find little if anything is left afterwards.

That's what I was meaning when I said life on your own isn't how you imagine it at 15. In the real world.. everyone else gets theirs before you get to have anything for yourself. And somethimes that might not be anything.. or very little for periods.

I'm telling you that because I still remember those years very well. And I remember how hard it really was for years after graduating college... and its harder for most people without a college degree.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If you give us a summary of what you are up against, we just might be able to make some helpful suggestions. Your question comes up a lot, with teens unhappy at home for various reasons.

Well.. no type of abuse happens at home ANYMORE, it's mainly just fear of my father, he's like mentally ill & stuff, so am I.. But not in the same way, it's kind of hard to explain my situation.. there's a lot more than this.

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Originally Posted by nimym

well.. no type of abuse happens at home ANYMORE, it's mainly just fear of my father, he's like mentally ill & stuff, so am i.. but not in the same way, it's kind of hard to explain my situation.. there's alot more than this.

Well, that helped me -- NOT!

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Then have her try to get custody of you through the courts if the living situation now is so bad...if she's got money and its really that bad now..thats your best option.

I find it hard to believe an 18 year old has all that much money if they didn't inherit it. Or that they would be working 4 jobs if they didn't need it.

But then...what might seem like a lot of money at 15...really isn't much when you have to pay all the bills and stuff and find little if anything is left afterwards.

Thats what I was meaning when I said life on your own isn't how you imagine it at 15. In the real world..everyone else gets theirs before you get to have anything for yourself. And somethimes that might not be anything..or very little for periods of time.

I'm telling you that because I still remember those years very well. And I remember how hard it really was for years after graduating college.....and its harder for most people without a college degree.

Well.. I got nothing really to lose so I'll give it a shot, she can take care of me.. that's all the matters though, correct?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Well, that helped me -- NOT!

Don't have to be like that. -.-

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Originally Posted by nimym

well.. i got nothing really to lose so i'll give it a shot, she can take care of me.. that's all the matters though, correct?

Will your parents object if you move in with your sister? They could cause her a lot of legal trouble.

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Originally Posted by nimym

don't have to be like that. -.-

No, and you don't either. How do you expect us to help you if you aren't honest about what you are up against?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Will your parents object if you move in with your sister? They could cause her a lot of legal trouble.

Yes, my parents hate everything & anything I do, they treat me like a psycho. Even though one of them is.. more than I am, the ways things going now, one of my family members will eventually hit me or something, my dad's been arrested for attemptive murder or something like that when I was younger

Are you doing chores at home and are you getting good grades in school and are you polite and generally easy to get along with?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Are you doing chores at home and are you getting good grades in school and are you polite and generally easy to get along with?

No & no. & yes & yes

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Originally Posted by nimym

No & no. & yes & yes

So is part of your parents' beef with the two "no"s?--chores and school grades?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So is part of your parents' beef with the two "no"s?--chores and school grades?

Partially.

So why give them so much power? Claim some of your own, for yourself -- do your chores willingly and without complaint and work hard in school. Those two things will serve you very well in your future. They are two things important to having power.

I rather not, I rather be away from the far as possible

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Originally Posted by nimym

i rather not, i rather be away from the far as possible

But then you lose your power and have caved. You admit they are mentally and emotionally stronger than you are.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

But then you lose your power and have caved. You admit they are mentally and emotionally stronger than you are.

I was diagnosed with psychosis &.. obviously they're stronger

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Originally Posted by nimym

i was diagnosed with psychosis & .. obviously they're stronger

Who diagnosed you? You are free, and out and about with a psychosis?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Who diagnosed you? You are free, and out and about with a psychosis?

Yea, but I'm stable now, I used to be in a psych ward

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Originally Posted by nimym

yea, but i'm stable now, i used to be in a psych ward

Medications?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Medications?

I have them, don't need them anymore though. I been completely fine

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Originally Posted by nimym

i have them, don't need them anymore though. i been completely fine

Sorry, Charlie. If you have been institutionalized for a psychosis, you are going to be taking heavy-duty meds for the rest of your life.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Sorry, Charlie. If you have been institutionalized for a psychosis, you are going to be taking heavy-duty meds for the rest of your life.

Wasn't for that, it was for cutting & such, then they diagnosed me & shiiiit

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Originally Posted by nimym

wasn't for that, it was for cutting & such, then they diagnosed me & shiiiit

But you said, "i was diagnosed with psychosis."

C'mon. Tell us in reasonable detail what is going on -- psychosis, cutting, psycho, murderer for a father. Are you female?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

But you said, "i was diagnosed with psychosis."

C'mon. Tell us in reasonable detail what is going on -- psychosis, cutting, psycho, murderer for a father. Are you female?

Male

How long have you been cutting and in response to what? Your father?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How long have you been cutting and in response to what? your father?

Been self harming since I was a little kid. & partially.