From what I have been reading CMT is a neuromuscular disease and does not normally cause pain that would require such a drug as Fentanyl. I don't know if your daughter is one of the few in which it does or if she has developed a dependency for the drugs after her hip surgeries, no doubt they were a source of pain for her.
In fact the sensory damage that is a result of the disease can causes a lack of pain perception.
That being sad I also don't see anywhere that states the disease has any effect on mental functioning. But rather effects the muscles of the arms, legs, hands and feet, causing weakness and contractures. These problems are dealt with by other means orthotics, muscle stretching exercises, etc.
As has been mentioned Fentanyl is a very strong, addictive drug.
These are the sources I searched.
Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease: Complications - MayoClinic.com
Overview | Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease | MDA
The MDA site does have support services listed for people and family members who have neuromuscular diseases, perhaps your daughter should check into these, as well as yourself.
I have to admit to you that I also found the term "knocked up" quite offensive when referring to your own daughter. When my daughter was pregnant she was pregnant nothing more nothing less. I think to refer to her as knocked up would have been pretty insensitive.
However, I do understand your frustration over the situation with the grandchildren, but I think the best way to help them is to help their mother.
IF that means getting counseling for yourself and including her in order to gain more insight as to her problem with you so be it.
I also think that means making her stand on her own two feet and quit continually bailing her out. You have spoiled her, she doesn't appreciate the help, cut her off.
I remember one instance when my parents helped me out and then "threw it in my face" (for lack of a better term) that help was no longer looked at the same way as I had originally perceived it. I don't know if this is case here, just throwing it out there.
My perception here is this you've been "helping" your child for a lot longer than she has been ill. She is either very spoiled and never learned that her life is her own, or sees you as putting yourself in a superior position to her as you can "rescue" her and perceives it as having been done begrudgingly.
She has now been burdened by this disease that many people deal with very successfully by the way, but for some reason she has a problem doing that.
Perhaps part of her problem is an inability to cope with the diagnosis.
As far as why she blames you, who knows, even you may never know if she chooses not to tell you.
People lay blame for many things, just an example.
An old boyfriend of mine blamed his back pain on a spanking that he received as a child.
Fact was he had arthritic discs in his back, perfectly normal for his age and history, yet he chose to blame his dad. He told every one this except his dad, he knew he was way off base, but had to make it the fault of someone.
Sorry for the long post and don't get me wrong, I am not bashing or criticizing, I have children I know what we do for our children and it is hard to tell them to get it together and practice tough love. But you won't always be around, right?
I'd rather know that my children could make their own way and get along without me should something happen to me.
In short counseling, support groups, tough love.
Just my opinion mind you.
