Ask Me Help Desk - Horrible fight

Horrible fight

My father and I had a horrible fight this morning and now I'm at school and I'm so mad I'm still literally shaking from how pissed off I am at him. I feel like the next person who gives me a hard time I'm going to go off at them and I really don't want to do it. I never really had anger problems but when my dad took my car away from me for no reason this morning I almost lost it, I kicked the side of MY CAR and he said I can't have it for the entire weekend. I think it's the bigest load of bull I've had to deal with. Is there anyway you think I could get my car back for this weekend? I need a lot of input guys please help me!

Dude, what started this fight? I mean he didn't just walk up to you and say you can't have your car. There has to be more to this story.

He told me I had to wash the floors at the house before school and it was already 7:15 and school starts in 30 minutes and I couldn't do it in time. Then my dad took the keys for today and then I kicked my car and he said I can't have them for the weekend. So now I have to walk 3 miles to work later in the freezing snow.

Well, kicking the car wasn't a good idea was it?

He was being a little irrational asking you to do the floors before school though. Was this something you knew you were going to have to do? Were you supposed to do this yesterday but didn't?

This was something he told me to do literally as I was walking out the door for school. I nearly busted out laughing when he said it. But ends up he wasen't joking around.

Metalhead,
Seems to me that you just are interested in getting your car back. You don't want to elaborate on what YOU have done to make your dad take your keys from you. Maybe your dad loves you enough to stand up to you to protect you from yourself. I am so happy now that I am older that my dad had the intestinal fortitude to keep me on the right path when I was young. Try to look at the argument from his perspective. When you snap out and kick in the side of the car, it shows by your actions that you are not putting your mind in gear before putting your mouth in motion. I know you are frustrated now, but time heals many wounds. I find the answers to all my problems by saying a short prayer to God to give me the patience and wisdom to see the broader picture. A little quiet time in reflection is better and more productive than acting out your frustration in anger. Good luck! (When you take G.O.D. out of GO0D, you are left with nothing)

You have posted that you turn your anger toward yourself, self mutilate. Are you on your medication? Is that contributing to your current problem?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...on-407750.html

Metalhead,
Maybe your dad is having problems and in a sense he is taking his frustrations out on you. Time heals many wounds. Give him a little time to cool down and it doesn't hurt to apologize for your reaction to his request. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was right. Maybe he will see things clearer from your perspective and apologize to you. However, If you were told to do something earlier and brushed it off, then you will never have enough time to get things accomplished

I'm on anti-depressants and ADHD medication but that doesn't contribute to my anger, I don't think I'm more angry than most any other teenager would be and I'm not looking for sympathy I'm looking for ways to get my dad to let me have my keys. Reason I disagreed before was because he said that I didn't want to elaborate on why I got the keys taken when in actuality I had answered that question, If someone posts something without reading the entire thread that's not my fault.

Before you go off on someone in school who is an innocent person,think before you act.Its just not worth it.

When you get a chance,talk to your father and calmly explain your position and see what happens.

I am a parent and I have been known to make harsh judgments that I have then relented on.

Nm.

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

Before you go off on someone in school who is an innocent person,think before you act.Its just not worth it.

When you get a chance,talk to your father and calmly explain your position and see what happens.

I am a parent and I have been known to make harsh judgments that I have then relented on.

Dear Artlady,
At my school there aren't too many innocent people. I go to catholic school and surprise surpize most people here are mean and cruel but so is almost every high school student body. Everyone here except the few people I'm friends with aren't mean. I talked to my one friend and she calmed me down a bit and I vented a bit now but I really don't understand why my father would have made such a bizard request at the last minute when he knew I would have been late for school?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

i'm looking for ways to get my dad to let me have my keys.

Oh, goodness... as a parent of a teen myself, this would make me more upset and hold on to the keys longer.

You want the keys? Go home from school (why are you on the computer anyway, you should be listening and learning right now... another reason to keep the keys away longer), and do the floors, apologize to your father for over reacting. Not saying it will work, but it may help give you "brownie points."

Aren't you supposed to be in class right now? Why are you online?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

Dear Artlady,
At my school there aren't too many innocent people. I go to catholic school and surprize surpize most people here are mean and cruel but so is almost every highschool student body. Everyone here except the few people i'm friends with aren't mean. I talked to my one friend and she calmed me down a bit and i vented a bit now but i really dont understand why my father would have made such a bizard request at the last minute when he knew i would have been late for school?

Maybe he was teed off because the floor was dirty and he was having a bad day.

Were you supposed to do this chore yesterday or something?

We all get up on the wrong side of the bed sometimes,and you were there so he took it out on you.. No excuse, but see what happens when you get a chance to talk to him calmly and explain that you need the car for work.

I'm still wondering what you are doing online when you are supposed to be in class.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Aren't you supposed to be in class right now? Why are you online?

Haha I go to Catholic school and I'm a senior I took all the classes I had to previously and now I have about 7 study halls a week with about 5 art classes and what-not put into my schuduel and I have a laptop with internet access in school =] so yes I'm getting my work done and then some. Since I did all my required classes I also take a college math class and anatomy class as well as a criminal justice class I just tend to get the work done extremely quick so its no worries!

I guess my question in all of this is: whose name is the car registered in? Who bought it and insures it?

Haha... I went to Catholic school as well. I'm not stupid.

Now, as a mother of a teen, I know you should not be online while in class, even study hall. If you are allowed online, it's not for a site like this.

I don't mean to sound like your father, but if you want respect from him, you will respect the rules of the school as well.

You really should get offline before you get into trouble at school. That would mean even worse punishment when you get home.

Now, you can do this voluntarily, or, as a SuperModerator, I can help you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by this8384

I guess my question in all of this is: whose name is the car registered in? Who bought it and insures it?

I bought the car myself and provide money for the insurance, and its in my moms name.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

haha...I went to Catholic school as well. I'm not stupid.

Now, as a mother of a teen, I know you should not be online while in class, even study hall. If you are allowed online, it's not for a site like this.

I don't mean to sound like your father, but if you want respect from him, you will respect the rules of the school as well.

You really should get offline before you get into trouble at school. That would mean even worse punishment when you get home.

Now, you can do this voluntarily, or, as a SuperModerator, I can help you.

I'll only go online later but its not so nice to basically force me off the website I'm looking for advice in, my school lets me go on this website and they provide the internet and every site has to be pre-approved before we access it so yeah but I'll stay off until later

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

I bought the car myself and provide money for the insurence, and its in my moms name.

You're a Senior in high school and can't spell "insurance" - plus several other words?

I'm beginning to smell a troll.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You're a Senior in high school and can't spell "insurance" - plus several other words?

I'm beginning to smell a troll.

Lol or a senior who can't spell I'm being dead serious if you want me to put up some proof of age I will. I'm turning 18 on the 15th of this month plus I have a learning disability which I'm not proud of so if you wanted to hurt my feelings good on you

It seems that everyone who speaks the truth hurts your feelings and/or makes you angry and/or upsets you.

Has the Physician who prescribed for you referred you to counselling?

I don't know what answers you want from the people on this Board. You've posted about your suicide attempts/self mutiliation due to abuse at home - but from what I can tell you you've ignored all of the advice and still haven't reported the abuse to the authorities.

Is there no one you can talk to in person - clergyman, Physician, relative? I know you've had a hard life (from what you say). That doesn't excuse abuse. Report your parents!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

It seems that everyone who speaks the truth hurts your feelings and/or makes you angry and/or upsets you.

Has the Physician who prescribed for you referred you to counselling?

I don't know what answers you want from the people on this Board. You've posted about your suicide attempts/self mutiliation due to abuse at home - but from what I can tell you you've ignored all of the advice and still haven't reported the abuse to the authorities.

Is there no one you can talk to in person - clergyman, Physician, relative? I know you've had a hard life (from what you say). That doesn't excuse abuse. Report your parents!

Dear Judykaytee,
I go to counseling(you spelled counselling wrong not that I'm smelling any troll) but I don't see how that's your business those posts were from a long time ago that your pulling out to show. I was admitted into a mental facility where I was treated for depression I don't have those problems now all I was asking from the people on this thread was advice on being able to drive this weekend in case you didn't read the thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

Dear Judykaytee,
I go to counseling(you spelled counselling wrong not that i'm smelling any troll) but i dont see how thats your buisness those posts were from a long time ago that your pulling out to show. I was admitted into a mental facility where i was treated for depression i dont have those problems now all i was asking from the people on this thread was advice on being able to drive this weekend incase you didnt read the thread.

There are two accepted spellings - you use one, I use the other. Once you post on any Internet site it becomes everyone's business.

It is not unusual to read past posts to find out the history of the person, whether consistent info is posted, determine ages, what other problems/troubles exist.

And, yes, I read the thread - and I think your problems "today" are related to your problems "yesterday."

And once again the people who don't agree with you aren't reading your thread - according to you.

What thread did I post yesterday that makes you bring up my mental health into question, other than talking about my past problems I haven't had any issue with my health. I think my issue with my father making the choices he made. Not my talking to another person about their issues.

I think what Judy means is that the problems that you're dealing with now are a result of things that happened in the past.

Tragically, what we do in the past affects our present - and future.

Have you thought about talking to your Dad? Not about getting the keys back, but about your anger? Asking him to help you control it? If someone (namely, your Dad) has problems with anger, when another person with the same problem (you) asks to help them be accountable for their actions, the problem in BOTH people is helped.

You're not going to beat your anger problems alone.

And about the keys... you're just going to have to stay around the house this weekend. I wouldn't give a teen that throws a fit his keys back. Sorry!

Quote:

Originally Posted by HistorianChick

I think what Judy means is that the problems that you're dealing with now are a result of things that happened in the past.

Tragically, what we do in the past affects our present - and future.

Have you thought about talking to your Dad? Not about getting the keys back, but about your anger? Asking him to help you control it? If someone (namely, your Dad) has problems with anger, when another person with the same problem (you) asks to help them be accountable for their actions, the problem in BOTH people is helped.

You're not going to beat your anger problems alone.

And about the keys.... you're just going to have to stay around the house this weekend. I wouldn't give a teen that throws a fit his keys back. Sorry!

Thank you this was the answer I was hoping to get from my thread. And my past is a dark one I don't like looking upon its something I don't like talking about when I'm not in that state of mind anymore. I appreciate the advice historian. And I really don't have anger problems its you won't find many teens who are happy and cheery in the morning and when you ask something out of the blue that would require them to get into trouble, the teen isn't going to be too happy about it lol, but thanks for the input :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

Thank you this was the answer i was hoping to get from my thread. And my past is a dark one i dont like looking upon its something i dont like talking about when i'm not in that state of mind anymore. I appreciate the advice historian. And i really dont have anger problems its you wont find many teens who are happy and cheery in the morning and when you ask something out of the blue that would require them to get into trouble, the teen isnt going to be too happy about it lol, but thanks for the input :D

I don't think it's as much an issue of finding a "morning person" as it is that you get so angry that you are "literally shaking." That is not a normal reaction for anyone, teenager or not.

Quite honestly, I think the issue here is maturity. You want to spread your wings, so to speak, and that's understandable at your age. However, you still need to respect your parents - if your father asked you to do a chore and you were unable at that time, you should have made an agreement with him to do it when you were finished with school. Instead, the two of you got into an argument, he took your keys away and you are left with uncontrollable anger. That isn't healthy for anyone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by this8384

I don't think it's as much an issue of of finding a "morning person" as it is that you get so angry that you are "literally shaking." That is not a normal reaction for anyone, teenager or not.

Quite honestly, I think the issue here is maturity. You want to spread your wings, so to speak, and that's understandable at your age. However, you still need to respect your parents - if your father asked you to do a chore and you were unable at that time, you should have made an agreement with him to do it when you were finished with school. Instead, the two of you got into an argument, he took your keys away and you are left with uncontrollable anger. That isn't healthy for anyone.

True but the reason I was shaking with anger was what he said to me got to me, he said as soon as your 18 your is out of this house. So that's what made me that angry, but I'm not angry anymore I'm home from school did the chore and I'm still without a car and I have work at 5 so I better get my walking shoes on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

true but the reason i was shaking with anger was what he said to me got to me, he said as soon as your 18 your is out of this house. So thats what made me that angry, but i'm not angry anymore i'm home from school did the chore and i'm still without a car and i have work at 5 so i better get my walking shoes on.

Shaking with anger is not okay - no matter who said what, when, where or about whom. You should not let yourself get so upset by one argument that you are physically shaking.

And honestly, I'm becoming very concerned about you after reading just one of your old threads. Have you been diagnosed with anything other than depression?

One of the doctors I saw told me I had manic depression I think but it was never actually documented.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

One of the doctors i saw told me i had manic depression i think but it was never actually documented.

And are you currently on your medication? I know you mentioned before that it "didn't help" or something along those lines, but that is a common statement among people who need it. They take the medication, start to level out, think they don't need it and wean themselves off, and end up crashing & burning.

I still take my meds every single day. I'm very consistent with taking them I know I need them its like a crutch helping me support myself

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

I still take my meds every single day. I'm very consistant with taking them i know i need them its like a crutch helping me support myself

When was the last time you spoke with someone about your anger issues? How long ago were you prescribed this particular medication?

Um I never have talked to anyone about my anger issues and I'm not taking anything for anger. I take anti-depressants Prozac for about 2 years now and concerta for ADHD

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

Um i never have talked to anyone about my anger issues and i'm not taking anything for anger. I take anti-depressants Prozac for about 2 years now and concerta for ADHD

I meant your anti-depressant prescription. When was the last time you saw someone regarding it - 2 years ago?

I think seeking counseling would be a good idea. You seem to be harboring a lot of anger and resentment over a lot of things that have happened in your life; if you don't deal with your past, you're not going to be able to cope with your future.

So I see someone every 6 weeks for medication, I see a phsycologist.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metalhead11592

so i see someone every 6 weeks for medication, i see a phsycologist.

A psychologist is a therapist who can also write a prescription for medication. Why haven't you discussed your anger issues with them?