I have a handicap sister who lives with me. Nobody has ever gone to court over who is in charge of her. She has lived with me for seven years now. Now I have this older crazy sister. She has filed to be her guardianship and if not she wants to control her check. So we go to chansore court. The judge says she has to get a check up to see if she is compatient and my crazy sister can call her once a week. My handicap sister is real upset and has told the guarding of litem. My handicap sister does not want to talk or see her. My older sister was abusive to my handicap sister. Of course she denies it. So I am going to hire a lawyer next week. But my handicap sister wants to go and stay with our brother in fl because she says she is sick when she has to talk to her. If she leaves what kind of trouble will she be in. and will they take her s.s. check. I fell like I am the one abusing her making her do these phone calls. Thank you for the help .

The guardian ad litem was a good start to tell regarding the crazy sister's actions. The social security disability check will follow you sister regardless of where she lives. This money is for her benefit and no one else's. If she is mentally disabled, then the person receiving the money on her behalf has to fill out the monthly report. If you receive the check in your name for her benefit, you can go to the social security local office and do the paperwork there to transfer her check to her brother in Florida to distribute and do the monthly reports. I assume you have been the one doing the monthly reports. The attorney will make up the proper paperwork and submit it to the judge so that she can move to Florida with your brother if that is where she wants to live if she is underage. She does not have to speak to her sister on the phone if she does not want to.

You did not say how old sis is or her disability.

My sister is 53. Her handicap is she is retarded or mentalley slow. I am not sure. She knows what she wants to do. And is OK. We just try not to let any one abuse her. I just want to make sure she will not get arrested for going to fl. I do not think she would be because she would not be under tn law if she is not here. But she was court ordered to talk to her crazy sister. I also told the ad litem my sisters blood pressure was up 50 points. She does not want to leave here. She just does not want to talk to her crazy sister

You said no one was her guardian at this point and she was just living with you for 7 years. Whose name is the ss check in? Does it come to you in your name for her benefit? She will not get arrested if she goes to Florida and stays with brother as this is a civil matter and not a criminal matter.

If she does talk on the phone have it be very short and very sweet and then hang up. This way bad sis can't run to judge and say she's not complying with court order making her case stronger for guardianship. She does not need to be tormented like that with blood pressure out of this world. Not good.

She needs to be far away from her asap in my opinion. She would not be arrested in Florida as your sister would have to file any paperwork in Florida and that would be expensive to fight something long distance.

Go see the attorney asap before bad sis gets guardianship and makes your other sister's life a living hell. Are you sure you are not her guardian having cared for her for those 7 years in your home?

Be sure not to sign anything at social security over to bad sis unless judge orders you to do this. Remember that money is for good sister's benefit, not bad sis to control or benefit from.

The check comes to me in care of her. It is hers. I do not want her to have to report to my bad sister for her money. I can sign the check over to my brother. He would also do right by her. She has lived with me. But I never ask to be her guardian though the court. I felt she was doing fine and as long as she is not stressed she seems to function well. She visits can drive a golf cart she can shop. I just watch her so no one can abuse her. That is why I am fighting with bad sister. Thank you for your help.

Her check comes in my name for her does that mean I probably am her guardian

No, you are not her guardian, unless the court has issued you a court order naming you her guardian.

They may assume you are, or at some point, you were put on as a care taker or something. Was there ever any legal status of her guardianship when she turned 18.

She lived with my mother who passed away eight years ago. She stayed with my brother for away. Then she came and stayed with me and never left. My mother left a trust and told me in it to take care of her and that is what I gave s.s. I really did assume all this time I was her helper I never went to court. Because she can decide things for her self she just needs help to live in this world

The fact that your mom had a trust that mentioned you to take care of her is another matter. Do you still have the paperwork from the trust? Take that to the attorney's office when you visit as this could very well be the "key" to helping your sister escape the guardianshp of bad sis.

I do not remember a lot when my mother died I do remember the lawyer saying take the trust to s.s. and I did I looked all over for it I will go to s.s. they should have a copy if not I quess I will be going to fl. Ad litem said they would give her to me. So that is not the problem. I would like to stay. But it is to stessful for my handicap sister. And I want what is best for her. If I stress her and she stroke. Nobody would help. Thank you guys for the help

You are most welcome denice. Good luck on your trip to sunny Florida. You are a good sister.

I would also look into the area of getting a lawyer familiar with the A.D.A. (American's with Disabilities Act of 1990)

I think the court was wrong to order your sister to talk to anybody she does not want to. That is a severe violation of her rights!

You should get a lawyer and fight in your state, for guardianship as well. Your sister has a right to choose who she wants and I don't see where you would have problems being awarded the title.

Let the judge know that your sister feels that the other sister was abusive in the past. He can talk with her or have it put in the Guardian ad Litem... they should be talking to your disabled sister about these issues... often people with disabilities are treated as objects and not included in things that affect them.

As far as the social security, I think you are just a payee or money handler for her which is not the same as guardian.

See if you can get doctor to sign that her blood pressure has gone up under the situation, but that might be difficult because doctors often will not want to get involved in legal issues.

Well I called my brother and we are going to send her to fl. This made her happy. I thought it was awful that she is court ordered to talk to her mean sister. She has no problem calling and talking on the phone to everybody else. My sister is very mean and we told them that but she is very polished and I am not. They would not talk to my handicap sister. She can talk and would have told them. You are right they do treat them like objects. The doctor did give me a paper. We gave it to the ad litem lady and she said to put her on blood pressure medicine. She will get use to talking to the mean sister. I was just worried about sending her to fl. And the judge putting out a bench warrant. When she did not call and they found out she was gone. I always told my handicap sister she could call who every she wanted I never stopped her. She just does not like her mean sister.

Well I just wanted to let everyone know that she is in fla. Very happy. Thank you guys for the help

Still not sure what would prevent the "bad" sister from filing for guardianship. I'm not sure that her change of residence will stop the "bad" sister from continuing with such efforts. I wonder if you should consider having a joint guardianship filed between you and your brother with her permission in the state of Florida. The guardianship might not have to be total, but spell out exactly what decisions or duties you two will perform for her. You also might be able to set it up so that it takes effect only if she is determined to be incompetent to handle her own affairs. Hopefully this will prevent any possible negatives from happening in the future. In the event of something happening to you and your brother, you could even designate a line of people who would follow. Something just tells me that the "bad" sister isn't going to be discouraged so easily.

denice I am gald this has worked out so far. But your brother or someone really needs to get guardianship over her. My family has a bad situation with a mentally disabled uncle and it would be so much easier if someone would have taken guardianship over him. Then we would be able to speak up for him and the courts would have to communicate with us instead of trying to understand him.

You are right my bad sister has gotten very very bad. Taken her to fl. Is just a pit stop. She would have to file in the courts down there. My brother down there is a retired police officer. And my son is a captain in the service and a principal. They have seen my bad sisters actions in person. Up here she is bringing charge after charge on me. My lawyers said it would all be dropped. And I can sue for harrasement. But if my handicap sister had stayed and be declared incompataint the fight would have been hard. Right now she is a free soul. We never bothered the handicap sister. We all pitched in. my bad sister is a doctor who went out on a mental evalution. And plays the poor victim real well. But soon her lies will catch up tp her. My handicap sister can speak and does. But no one would listen.

I have a new question. Bad sister will call at 4.00 maybe Monday. She has not called in two weeks. Do I have to answer

You need to have your brother stick up for you and your sister. He is a retired cop so he should have some good credibility with the court.
Your sisters check goes where ever she goes.
How much contact has your sister been having through the years up until now?
You may be able to use that as not showing concern for your disabled sister.
Your 'bad sister' may have just come up with the idea of wanting her for the $$$$ signs.

My brother will protect her no matter what. The reason my bad sister wants her. Is because she has no one else. She just plain to mean. And my handicap sister she can control. And then we will have to see her in order to see my handicap sister. My brother stands good with town down there. I already signed the check over to him. We all get along. There are seven of us. But nobody will talk to my mean sister any more. Because she is sneaky and lies. So you can never have trust there. I tried to let my mean sister see her for about 2 hours a week. But she would drink and drive. Give her pills. When I found out. I stop it right then and there. But my mean sister tells the court we pick on her. And the courts do not know what is going on because my mean sister thows up a lot of confusing things and plays the victum well. My handicap sister says she will not come back until my mean sister is dead. Do you know if I have to tell anyone. Because the judge court ordered me to have my handicap sister talk to my mean sister. And beings she is not here I can not do it. Thank you for any help oh you I thought about written a letter and leaving at the judges work place

Can you tell the Judge that the thoughts of the mean sister scared her so bad you had to send her to another state. Maybe have her write a letter for the Judge about her feelings or make a video telling the Judge everything she can think of that upsets her about the sister and have your brother write a letter too.

Sounds like you are going to need to possibly get an attorney on your side. Your "doctor" sister seems to be good at "doctoring" the situation. She also seems to have many resources. If your sister in Florida signs papers or stated that the sister gave her pills... especially without a prescription... that could look bad on the doctor... but then proving it might be difficult. I'd say that you will need to inform the court that the sister has relocated to another state, and that she is outside of their jursidiction. She did this of her own free will, and you did not do it as no one has authority over her. The sister in Florida might need to have an attorney represent her as a free citizen of Florida against having judgements from where ever the "bad" sister manages to work the system.

You might find yourself being in trouble with the courts if they think you are at all trying to not follow their rulings or are in any way responsible for the relocation. The handicapped sister does need to communicate that she wishes to have no contact with the "bad" sister because of past experiences.

We live in tn bad sister and me. I will give the judge there number down there. She says she does not want to come back to live until bad sister is dead. She is tired of it. My brother came this way so I had nothing to do with it. We just want her to stay free and happy to have choices and be able to do what she wants. You guys have helped a lot thank you very much

Well here is the update. I wrote the letter to the judge. I told him how my bad sister was doing to my handicap sister. And we told the guard of litem. And nothing was done. I told the judge everything. Then I came home and left them all a message. That I wrote the letter to the judge. And my brother who is a retired police officer had to come to tn to protect my handicap sister because no one listen to her. And boy are they mad. They wanted to know if I had a copy of the letter. And was yelling and screaming at me. But nobody asked where handicap sister is. I wonder why. Well I will give you an update as it goes along and again thank you very much she is safe and happy

You still shouldn't assume your sister in Florida is in the clear. The court could potentially get involved and somehow order her return to TN... Possibly saying she left without state authority (I don't know? ) But I've got a feeling it isn't over and that she really needs to get advice from Florida courts... I'm not sure who you mean was yelling at you? The bad sister or the court people? Also, did you keep a copy of the letter you sent the judge?

If your sister had the guardian ad litem appointed by the court, it may be that person has the power to say if the sister can leave the state or not... you don't want to end up facing kidnapping charges or something... or have your sister charged with something... courts can come up with all sorts of legal stuff... your sister in FL really needs an advocate who knows the laws.

I did not keep a copy of the letter and my bad sister would yell at her on the phone. We told everyone no one listened. She had no guardian they were not sure she needed one. They wanted her to take a test to see. My brother says they have no juradiction on her. Because no one has ever been her guardian. We will get a lawyer in fla and fight it if we have to. My bad sister was horrible to my brother down there so he knows what we say is true. That is why he came right up to get her. I relize it is not over. But he can help so much more than I ever could

Oh the guard of litem yelled at me because I did not stop her from leaving. I told her she did not stop my bad sister from bulling my handicap sister. So why should I stop it. She said my sister was her client. I said she is my sister. And I told the judge in a letter and he could call them. And she got real mad and said I would never see my sister again. So I hung up

I think it might be best if your brother looks for legal advice in Florida they might be more cooperative. Your sister needs to keep insisting on what she wants.

That is a pretty strong statement from her. Wonder what the heck she meant? Keep us posted. Sure sounds like she is going to try something... keep your brother informed... that she may try to come after him for helping her "client" leave the state... could be some trouble if she was court appointed... Seems like they might try to have you and your brother removed from the issue..?

"Clients" can say "YOU ARE fired!"

Well everything is still quite. My mean sister is watching everybodys house to see if she can see my handicap sister. I did talk to her today. She said hi to everyone. My sister in law reads the letters to her so she knows what is going on. We are still on guard though.

Well here is the update I just got out of jail they were holding me in contempt and my brother is bringing her back and I can not stop it they are going to give her exam to see if she needs a guardaitm they took her check and her insurance this is such a tragic situation, it is amazing how she was never abused but can be taken away from a family she knows and loves. Tomorrow I am going to the newspaper and every place I can think of if you have any ideals write write write please

Going to the news may be a good idea. She doesn't need to live with somebody that is going to treat her so badly. Maybe since they took her check and her insurance the mean sister will not want to be bothered with her now?

I was afraid you might be in for a lot of trouble. I still think your sister needs a good lawyer to protect her rights. Without that, she will be at the mercy of the lawyers, and a court appointed lawyer for her may not necessarily represent her best interest... It might look good on paper, but her desires you have mentioned might get passed up in the shuffle of papers leaving her at the mercy of the courts, and a lawyer who does not see her as much of a money making case, may not put much effort into fighting on her behalf.

Wish your sister with the handicap would have hired that attorney before now. The way it stands currently, you look bad as far as being found in contempt and have little hope (in my opinion) of getting custody of your sister without a lot of good legal help on your side.

I would look for legal aide and advocates in your area for people with disabilities.

Good Luck

Well we decided to go legal aide tomorrow my brother is going to file for custody and then we are going to find a lawyer. One who handles people rights that have been taken away I just do not know what I am looking for. We have money I am not sure what to look for. I have four brothers that are all stepping up for custody. I know she is distroying me. But I do have help. Some one said that there is a lawyer that handles handicap people cases does any one know what they are called. I looked in the phone book. But I still am not sure

Well This Is The New Update I Found A Lawyer And Will See Him Tomorrow. My Sister Is Not Coming Back Yet. And I Found My Paper From The Military That States She Is My Ward. My Mother Signed Her Over To Me Before She Passed Away. I Did Not Realize This And When They Find Out I Quess I Will Be In Trouble Again. I Do Not Think I Am Doing To Well Here. Will Update When I Come From The Lawyer On Wednesday

Hope you got good news. The diability lawyers are called that and sometimes legal rights advocates for the diabled. I'm not sure if her being your ward only counted when she was a minor or not, but the lawyers will be a big help for you!

Keep us posted!

Well I Go Back Tomorrow To The Lawyers. I Finally Got My Papers In The Mail. My Mother Did Sign My Sister Over To Me She Is My Ward. And She Had A Test Done When She Was 18. My Mother Did This When She Was Alive. And Two Weeks Later Passed Away. I Did Not Remember What We Did Because She Was So Ill. I Guess I Was So Depressed And Did Not Relize It. When We Saw The Paper I Remembered. So I Guess We Go From Here. And I Have No Ideal What Will Happen Now.

Well This The Update They Can Not Get My Sister From Fl And We Do Have Her As Our Ward. But The Judge Says I Am In Contempt Of Court Because She Is In Fl. So They Gave Her To My Mean Sister And Stopped Her Check It Will Go To My Mean Sister. And Unless I Bring Her Back I Will Roit In Jail. Right Now I Am Out On A Furlo. We See The Lawyer Again Tomorrow. I Have Decided I Will Not Bring Her Back Because I Will Be As Guilty Of The Abuse As The One Doing It. When We Talk To The Lawyer Tomorrow If My Brother Can Not Get Custody. Then I Guess We Will Go To Fl And Fight It. Which I Know Is Real Bad. But I Do Not Know What Else To Do.

Well they still have done nothing. I really do not understand. They were in such a hurry. They took her check and threw me in jail. Now it has been a month and they say do not get her yet. So in reality she is a handicap person down there with no money. And I know my brother will take care of her. But how can they do this and why.