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Originally Posted by manhattanchick

talk to you're daughter about what is going on at you're mothers house. It's important to know what is happenning in youre child's life at such a young age. make sure you are as calm as possible when talking about what goes on there. Catch you're child in a good mood. As for you're mother, well, i dont know what to say.

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I haven't revisited this on here yet, but I have sat my daughter down and discussed it with her. She said that my mothers boyfriends have never touched her in a "bad" way. They have only tickled her. I made sure that it was only in the "usual" areas that someone would tickle her. I also confirmed that the men haven't seen her naked and NEVER go in the bathroom or bedroom when she is there. She told me that her little cousin ( a girl) does take baths with her when she is there but nothing happens. They just get yelled at for splashing water everywhere.

And as far as my mother is concerned, I am no longer worried about it. Over this past weekend I got some much needed time with my honey and he let me get everything off my chest. I have been really depressed throughout the whole legal battle and had given birth to 2 more babies during the legal stuff. I haven't been able to have any kind of relax time. So I have been letting it all build. Well, I am going to enroll in counseling and some kick-boxing classes. I think the couselor will help me with my past and present issues and the kick-boxing will allow me the much needed stress outlet! (besides I can fantasize that my mother is the target lol sorry that's probably not funny) Anyway, I really appreciate everyone's help and advice. I think it will all turn out to be awesome for all.

I will post updates as they happen!!

Thanks again!!

Just wanted to give small update...

The paperwork has been completed and filed. Just waiting on courts to give thumbs up and send us our copies. She will soon be moving in with her biological father and she is quite exicted now. She said she is scared of not living with me and the change. But that she can't wait to see her real dad and her other brother and all of her other family. She said she will miss me and seeing me everyday but that she really does want to go there. She is just scared. I told her it will be okay and that she will be scared and nervous and sad at first, but that she will get used to it just like she gets used to school every year. She is ready and I am okay with all of it. Though I too will have to get over not seeing her every morning and being with her all day and not seeing her at the dinner table on the nights I am off and we all eat together.

Thank you all I will continue to update.

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Originally Posted by achampio21

Just wanted to give small update...

The paperwork has been completed and filed. Just waiting on courts to give thumbs up and send us our copies. She will soon be moving in with her biological father and she is quite exicted now. She said she is scared of not living with me and the change. But that she can't wait to see her real dad and her other brother and all of her other family. She said she will miss me and seeing me everyday but that she really does want to go there. She is just scared. I told her it will be okay and that she will be scared and nervous and sad at first, but that she will get used to it just like she gets used to school every year. She is ready and I am okay with all of it. Though I too will ahve to get over not seeing her every morning and being with her all day and not seeing her at the dinner table on the nights I am off and we all eat together.

Thank you all I will continue to update.

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Congratulations. I will continue to pray for you and your daughter. I know that it is going to be hard for both of you, but it sounds like a great decision. I hope everything works out well. Maybe your daughter will realize that there are rules everywhere and you were just thinking about what is best for her. Let us know what happens. What does your mom think about all of this?

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Originally Posted by ANB428

Congratulations. I will continue to pray for you and your daughter. I know that it is going to be hard for both of you, but it sounds like a great decision. I hope everything works out well. Maybe your daughter will realize that there are rules everywhere and you were just thinking about what is best for her. Let us know what happens. What does your mom think about all of this?

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Thank you! I am positive it will work out.

I have no idea what my mother thinks, and honestly don't care. :o

Thank you again. I will update again soon.

Small Update!

My daughter went to live with her father in August. 2 weeks after she was settled in I get a phone call from her wanting to come home because daddy told her no. I told her that she was made aware of the rules going into it and that she was not going to go back and forth. She cried and said she was sorry and that she wants to come home and that I was right. But I held firm. She is staying with her dad. Sometimes tough love is best I guess. She learned a valuable lesson the hard way. I hung up and cried like a baby. But I know if I was to give in she would "win" and not learn anything. But she is doing very well in school and dad reports her behavior to be back and forth similar to how it was with me.

Thank you everyone for help and advice (be it good or bad) For now I feel content in the choice. She is doing okay and learned her lesson, I miss her but I can see her whenever I want. Since my daughter moved out we have documented proof of my mother calling my house 12 times. (I KNEW IT WAS ABOUT ME AND NOT MY LITTLE GIRL!! ) Dad reports that my mother has called him at least every other day asking questions about me. And my daughter says she asks her all the time when she is going to see me again and if I have called.

Want to know the BEST part...

My daughter says to me just recently...
"Mommy, MeMe(my mother) doesn't say bad stuff about you anymore. She just asks me a bunch of questions about you everytime I see her. I like going over there better now. She just bought some chickens!!!"

I was sooooooooooo happy to hear that! Now my daughter doesn't have to feel guilty about going there or guilty about talking to me and my mother isn't being hateful anymore!! Maybe my little girls life will be somewhat normal now!!

Thanks again everyone!

That's good to hear and in the long run it was best for your daughter and that's what count.

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Originally Posted by liz28

That's good to hear and in the long run it was best for your daughter and that's what count.

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Thank you!

And I LOVE your signatures!!

Thank you! Hope you come back with another good report and hope your daughter continues to improves. I find it so owe how kids listens to their father sometimes more than the mother. It's good she has a good dad. Me and my daughter talk about her living with him if she should ever get out of control. My daughter listens to me and sometimes she tries to back talk but she never does it with her father.

I know what you mean. My other two babies ALWAYS listen to their dad but don't always listen to me. I think it is a testosterone thing! But either or it has turned for the best for my daughter. I miss her so much though. It has been hard going to bed knowing she isn't in her bed. And when the school bus goes by in the morning and afternoon I think about her being on it. But I know that just the fact that I mother doesn't say bad things about me to her anymore is all worth it. Besides she knows I love her and I know she loves me.

We have this little thing called the kissing hand. It came from a book. Ever heard of it the book is called (you guessed it) "The Kissing Hand". You should look it up and read it. It is a beautiful book.

Thanks again I will come back soon with more reports!!

I wish I had an answer for you. I'm having the same problem with my 7-yr old daughter. She was caught in the bathroom with a girlfriend and 2 boys placing fake tats in no no places and I grounded her BIG time. She has been doing 30 minutes straight of excercises each day and she has to do chores. She can't play on her lap top or DS and the xbox360 is off limits. She can only play with her sister in their room and read books. I finally let her and her little sister go out to play today and a neighbore brought them back saying she is outside slapping everyone! Even slapped an adult on the arm! She has been getting worse and worse at home and slightly better at school as far as her mouth and attitude. She has been mouthy for 3 yrs now. Says she hates me. I took her for counseling and they say she don't need meds that she is depressed. I'm at my wits end with her as well. She is spending all next summer in California with my mom and the rest of my family. They think she can do no wrong but I'm hoping they see her for what she really is and hope they can turn her around because clearly smacking her mouth when she raises her voice to me or talking her probs out or spanking her or grounding her from everything and exercises... none of it is working on her. I still wonder where the heck my little angel went! She used to be such a sweet child. Kids would flock to her! Even older ones and they would all follow her around and play with her and she was such a delight. Now I dread the weekends because she is home and I am always watching the clock because I am dreading the moment she walks in. I can ask her a question nicely and she gets snappy with me. I let it go once but when it happens again I get onto her.